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NecessaryCelery2 t1_j1kcokm wrote

True, in many other places making friends is easier.

But also, pardon me, I have to tell you, there is no other option than try harder to make friends.

Go out even if the weather is not good. Dress better, find happy people.

Find people, be friendly, be the one to lead the path to friendship.

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nottoodrunk t1_j1kd55h wrote

What fairytale do you live in where people walk down the street and make new friends with strangers?

Go to a fitness class, join a club or an adult sports league.

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willzyx01 t1_j1kdkb4 wrote

That’s literally any major city

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neshmesh t1_j1ke24v wrote

I feel you! It is... Wishing you to make special connections in the new year, OP!!! Don't hesitate to reach out and start conversations :-) I'm struggle with the same thing, and making+sustaining new friendships is my new year resolution

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cassettecollect t1_j1kf8n3 wrote

I like to see it as “finally people leave me the fuck alone”.

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Zestyclose_Result497 t1_j1kj3xz wrote

Okay kehd. Its true that it’s hard to break into a an established circle of friends around Boston, trust takes time.

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gilgagorgon t1_j1kkhso wrote

Maybe… try? I’ve lived all over the country, nowhere was it easy to make friends but I did so because I don’t suck. I’m guessing you don’t suck either, you can do it.

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[deleted] OP t1_j1kktry wrote

There are transplants everywhere , find them and mingle! Boston is tough for friendships

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Applesauces t1_j1ks6cy wrote

Maybe you just suck, and no one likes you. Have you thought about that?

Edit: merry Christmas!

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phlukeri t1_j1l63xv wrote

This city is SOOOOOOOOO fickle. It is impossible to meet people. 80% of them are local and/or established. If you don’t hang with co-workers or grew up around the 128 belt good luck.

Move 600 miles away and start a better life.

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asocial_butterfly t1_j1lnux5 wrote

I'm from the Pacific Northwest and I agree with you, actually. I think most people here are already established in their friend groups and not looking for new connections. On the west coast there's generally more of an openness to give new friends a chance.

If you're serious about making friends, here's what's worked for me, and others I've met in a similar situation: https://www.skipthesmalltalk.com/public-events?category=Boston

It's literally like speed dating but just for making friends (although they also have dating events, never tried that myself). I moved here five months ago, and by attending once a month I have a pretty solid friend group by now - generally going out three or four nights a week. It's mostly people (20s and early 30s) who are also recent to the area.

Beyond that, maybe try just joining a volunteer group, adult sports league, or church community (of your choosing, there's tons of options around here) and being open about looking for friends. It takes time, and the holidays/midwinter is by far the hardest time of the year to meet anyone new. Good luck and happy holidays!

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Missed_shott t1_j1lqhpl wrote

Completely true. I just moved here in October.

Trying to make friends and also start a band... Get at me homies.

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gre2bos t1_j1lv65g wrote

Replying to nottoodrunk (#1,047,624)

Have you not left Boston or something? Seriously. That comment shows you don’t really know what you’re talking about, even if you’re using hyperbole to create your nonexistent point

People here are closed off. It’s literally a given fact. And you’re arguing against that haha

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TheTr7nity t1_j1lxiw2 wrote

Short story, after I got out the service, I had some old military buddies (southerners) that visited me when I lived in Boston. They said Boston had the coldest and most introverted people they ever met lol yes, it’s tough up here but don’t give up, keep putting yourself out.

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nahrgs t1_j1lxj0y wrote

Replying to asocial_butterfly (#1,053,075)

Another PNWer here. My experience is that PNW folks are nice but not friendly and Boston folks are not nice but friendly. What I mean by that is that someone in the NW is generally open and willing to meet new people but they are flakey and not the greatest friends. Bostonians are cold and closed off but if you make friends with one they will give you the shirt off their back and be there when you need them.

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InfiniteJessica t1_j1lyymu wrote

This so perfectly exemplifies Boston. I have a next-door neighbor who’s never really talked to me. I did talk to him once when he grabbed my dogs as they were trying to escape to thank him. I invited him and his wife over for dinner with my husband and me he declined but yesterday his fence fell down and he made sure to text me so we could move our car completely out of the way and promised to make as little disturbance as possible fixing it Monday.

Not super friendly, but responsible and courteous .

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AllMightyImagination t1_j1m9ln6 wrote

Get use to it. Unless your tourist looking for directions stop talking wih strangers. Really if you give off tourist im not from here aloof vibes then ppl avoid you and wont care.

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chrisvee0521 t1_j1maj8s wrote

Usually the places to meet people and be chummy are: the neighbors, school and work. That’s where anyone meets someone and then friendships form. If you’re in the city (like downtown) 99.9% of the people work in town and live somewhere else so no one is gonna stop to chat or make friends. They’re either on their lunch break or commuting.

Try going to common interest type events. Museums, book clubs, even bars. Something you share an interest with. If you hit it off and numbers are exchanged: bam! Makings of a friend.

But yes, there’s friendly like chit chat on the bus friendly and then you never see them again and then there’s solid friendship.

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pep_c_queen t1_j1n4mc9 wrote

Replying to nahrgs (#1,054,204)

Yes!!!! I can absolutely confirm this as having lived in Boston and Seattle. In Boston people don’t want to bother you, but most are actually willing to be bothered and will become your friend, they just won’t start the conversation.

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jesteryte t1_j1ncatv wrote

Replying to nottoodrunk (#1,047,624)

Basically, in any southern US state, any small town in the midwest, anywhere in California, any Latin American country, also southern European countries like Spain, Italy, Greece etc, a huge portion of Africa & Asia, etc etc.

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InevitableOne8421 t1_j1niz94 wrote

What are your interests? I Always find it easier to find common ground if you join a club of some sort or if you become a gym rat and run into the same people over time. I guarantee if you look hard enough, you’ll be able to find any niche in this city.

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Weekend_Expert t1_j1nmucs wrote

Nobody is required to give you a friendship. You might actually have to do some work to get to know someone.

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Missed_shott t1_j1npzkf wrote

You son of a birch I'M DOWN. 😎 👉🏻👉🏻

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ieat_sprinkles t1_j1o1qd9 wrote

If it makes you feel better you’re not alone! Been living here for like 5 years, I’ve built up friend groups twice now and watched as everyone slowly moved away. It’s so hard making friends the older you get too, you just have to keep trying and try to stay positive! Wishing you luck ❤️

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pancakeonmyhead t1_j1odv5u wrote

Friendships here are largely transactional. Make sure you can do something useful for somebody, and lots of people will want to try to be your friend. In return, seek out people who can do something useful for you, be friendly to them. Hopefully you can start some kind of symbiosis.

One thing you can do is buy a car, you'd be surprised at the number of people who'll be your "friend". It's the big-city equivalent to living in the suburbs and being the only house on your block with a swimming pool.

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