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hdiggyh t1_j65vlgp wrote

What an extremely sad story all around.


gronkspike25 t1_j66v1mn wrote

With a new born in the house this story has had me completely unnerved. News stories usually don’t get to me but this is heartbreaking for all involved. I can’t imagine what the father is going through.


Oystermama t1_j67d8gv wrote

I’m currently 7 months pregnant and haven’t been able to sleep since I heard about this. I used to live 4 houses down the street from them….heartbroken


mossylux t1_j6912r0 wrote

Same! I have three in a similar age range with one being a newborn. I'm just broken up by this and usually I try to keep a healthy distance from the news.


CatCranky t1_j65zrqu wrote

Oh, no. I’d hoped somehow that baby would survive.


[deleted] t1_j68cea1 wrote



obsessed2022 t1_j694tr7 wrote

how do you know this?


patwm11 t1_j695hh8 wrote

My parents are close friends with the husband’s parents


Bouix t1_j6alq03 wrote

Appreciate you sharing this information.

But you really shouldn't. It's very personal and confidential information and really isn't your story to tell.


patwm11 t1_j6d5oxw wrote

You’re not wrong, was hesitant posting it, I guess when you have those hesitations, it’s best to leave it to yourself


indistinctcolor t1_j69qspz wrote

Jesus Christ that’s so much worse than I thought. I am so deeply sad for her and her family.


angelcobra t1_j6947gl wrote

Postpartum psychosis is REAL. I watched my best friend go through it. I’m not taking the Mom’s side; but my god.

Excruciatingly sad.


EducationalElevator t1_j66apjc wrote

Am I cold, or are the social media posts going around about this story unnervingly sympathetic to her? Yes, postpartum psychosis is terrible. But she can simultaneously be a sick person who is also a killer.


NEDsaidIt t1_j66ghwn wrote

She was mentally unstable AND seeking treatment. I think that’s the difference. She was heavily involved in treatment and was not to be left alone with the children. WHY would you leave her alone with the children? I think that’s why it’s awful all around. She wasn’t in her right mind and likely will be one day.


amos106 t1_j68tc6m wrote

Our healthcare system is breaking due to staffing shortages and that includes mental health. It's unfortunate but seeking out mental health doesn't necessarily mean you are getting all if the support needed to make a full recovery. That leaves an incredibly heavy burden on the family of the afflicted person. Life doesn't just pause until you can sort things out, chores need to be done, bills need to be paid, etc. And to top that all off your partner is unable to contribute and instead needs extra care. Caretaker fatigue is a real thing and it's not anyone's else place to cast judgement because until you've been in those shoes you can't understand how conflicting and dehumanizing it feels.

It's sad and unfortunate but this is not the first tragedy our communities have suffered due to mental health crises.


NEDsaidIt t1_j68v4wf wrote

I just can’t see going out for pizza and not taking the kids. Either way I’m not blaming him, I’m just explaining why people aren’t labeling her a horrible monster the way others get labeled. She did what you are supposed to do. Seek help. Follow the plan.


amos106 t1_j6900zs wrote

Life can just be fucked up, that's all. Seeking out someone to blame is just a coping mechanism so we can sleep at night under the assumption that if you do the "right" thing then things will work out. Arthur DaRosa tried to do the right thing, the day before the stabbings he attempted to have himself held at the local hospital for a mental health crisis. The system that is supposed to help people out of mental health crises examined him and told him to go home. He wasn't a pretty white woman so people were much more reluctant to treat him as a victim, but he did what he was supposed to do and our system's response was telling him to pound sand. She was doing the right thing and trying to work with the same system. It's obvious that it didn't work and now a lot of people got hurt for it. I'm just saying if people want to direct their frustration and anger into something productive it's time we start figuring out why the system isn't working.


NEDsaidIt t1_j690j5l wrote

I’m not blaming him, I have said that repeatedly. I’m responding to a comment about why people aren’t as angry or cold with her. The entire system broke down. I’m sure she had part of her plan of what to do when she felt this way, yet she didn’t do it. He didn’t follow the plan. And they obviously shouldn’t have let her be at home this unstable. So many breakdowns and now 3 innocents are gone.


CaptainWollaston t1_j69ngz8 wrote

"I can't see going out for pizza and not taking the kids" is absolutely blaming him.


NEDsaidIt t1_j6e27fy wrote

I’m questioning a decision. I’m also questioning the medical professionals who let her be home. When there is a tragedy we need to look at where the breakdown was. Was he not being supported enough? Did he feel he needed a break? If I wanted to blame him I would have said “he should not have left her with the kids to get pizza”. I know it’s hard to understand meaning in text. I used to write care plans and I’m analyzing more than maybe someone else. I just don’t want this to ever happen again so I look at where did this go wrong.


[deleted] t1_j695lix wrote

The problem is not that her husband left her alone to get food. The problem is the level of care she was receiving. She should have been admitted to an inpatient hospital, not a 5-day a week day program.


CaptainWollaston t1_j69mpxy wrote

If she was that dangerous to not be left alone with kids she should have been locked up. Fuck that.


Trpdoc t1_j67rtt2 wrote

Can be super tough to bell like not step out for a few minutes maybe grocery running low, maybe it’s a quick work call etc who knows. Always easier for people without kids to be like why they leave her alone!


NEDsaidIt t1_j68ux23 wrote

If you need groceries, take the kids. We have paid family leave, take it! I have 3 kids and I’m disabled and have literally faced this exact scenario where I couldn’t be left alone with my own kids because I was too sick. I wasn’t a danger in the same way I just couldn’t care for them. It’s extremely hard. But it’s not impossible. In this scenario there is no way I would have gone out for pizza like he did. And no way my husband would have. I’m not blaming him, he will live with the guilt forever- but I think this is where the empathy comes from. She was doing what we expect people to do- seek help and follow the plan. What else could she do?


Trpdoc t1_j6997l0 wrote

So when does that period of unsafe end? And what are you on about paid family leave for 8 months lol.


NEDsaidIt t1_j69ddw5 wrote

When a doctor says she is safe. I’m sure they had childcare because she was working at some points so you wouldn’t need full time leave.


Trpdoc t1_j69hed5 wrote

Doctor doesn’t know for sure either


CaptainWollaston t1_j6hsp0l wrote

So the husband job now is to protect the kids from his wife? If that's the case she should have been locked up. You really seem to be putting this on him, and it's not. She did the evil thing, not him. I'm sure he's going to think about it the rest of his life, but there's really nothing he could have done to prevent it. Is he supposed to lock her in her room while he takes a shower? Make her come into the bathroom and sit there when he takes a shit?


directtodvd420 t1_j6fsb8c wrote

PFML gives a max 26 weeks per year. That’s 6.5 months. Baby was 8 months old. Even if this family did qualify for and take the max, which is unlikely, that’s 1.5 months of unassisted anguish.


Bouix t1_j66zpud wrote

Yeah I just don't think so. To me it's clear something very seriously went wrong with her mental state. PPD is very real and sometimes cases can be THIS extreme.

I don't think "sympathetic" is what people feel. More like they feel sorrow rather than anger.

It's a horrible tragedy all around...


StaticMaine t1_j66tm5k wrote

The reason im sympathetic to a degree is that PPD is seriously awful and to be at the level psychosis has to be the absolute worst. She was already getting treatment and by all accounts was not an issue at any point in her life.

I can’t imagine someone who by all accounts was a good mother snapping out of this and realizing they killed their children. That’s where my sympathy lies - when she ultimately ends up getting the help.

She deserves to be punished, don’t get me wrong - I just can’t imagine what she will feel when she is fully with it.


Roszo21 t1_j695f1q wrote

I'm comfortable with using the word sympathy. It's what I feel for everyone involved. Reading about PPD psychosis, including first-hand accounts from survivors, knowing that she actively sought treatment. It's far more common than I ever knew and far less researched and talked about than it should be because medical misogyny is real. And 5% of mothers with postpartum psychosis kill themselves or their child. We know how dangerous this condition is. But because it's poorly researched, little is known about what is actually effective treatment. Electro shock therapy is a commonly recommended despite seriously side effects like memory loss.

This is a major issue with our judicial/incarceration system. This isn't a unique story; I remember reading about the mentally ill unhoused man who pushed someone into thw train; he'd been in and out of treatment for years. Your brain can be broken. And unlike other health issues, when our medical system failures to treat you effectively - even if you beg for treatment - you are a criminal and the consequences for your community are unrecoverable. We need massive investment in mental health care and treatment facilities. I'm angry that every public official isn't demanding it.


zumera t1_j66miuv wrote

Your last two sentences don’t make sense. If she was suffering from postpartum psychosis then it was likely the psychosis that made her kill her own children and try to take her own life. These are not separate facts, they are one and the same. Postpartum psychosis hijacks your brain.


caesarbear t1_j68e03c wrote

"psychosis hijacks your brain"

It alters your perceptions, it does not alter who you are. Even in the depths of psychosis a person is still aware of themselves. Destruction, self harm, lashing out are all understandable from someone at their most desperate and confused. But child murderers are just child murderers.


DRZ36 t1_j66ffoy wrote

It feels like people are either: (1) this poor mom - she had her life ruined by PPD or (2) there are no excuses, she’s a killer. Almost no one commenting here knows the extent of her PPD (although from rumors, it was pretty severe), who she was before PPD, the full backstory about how this played out or why this happened. It’s good to see people being aware of PPD, but blindly calling her a victim isn’t really a terribly bright take either.

I just know the kids were innocent here and what happened to them is awful. I feel like it’s really sad that everyone seems drawn to this story to give their uneducated take on the mom and what her fault is. I just feel for the kids who lives were needlessly taken


Feisty-Donkey t1_j66hvv5 wrote

I think the point about not much being known is very appropriate, though that will change as information comes out at trial, because this absolutely will be an obsessively documented trial.

I think some of it is that people have no idea how to react to something this horrible and need to find something easy or comfortable to label it with. We’ll learn more with time.

I was young so I only vaguely remember contemporaneous coverage of Andrea Yates but I remember her being treated as a monster. Then, when I read the case details years later, it seemed very clear that her husband’s religious beliefs were a huge factor in what happened to her children and now I feel nothing but pity for her.


teriyakichicken t1_j66mu6d wrote

This story horrifies me and makes me wonder “could that have been me”? That’s obviously an extreme - but I feel like it could happen to anyone under the right circumstances. I have sympathy for the Mom (because I can’t imagine any Mom that would do this in a “sane” state of mind) but also feel extreme sadness for the kids and Father. PPP can come on suddenly and with almost no obvious warning signs. Take a look at Carol Coronado’s case. As a new Mom this story sparked a new and irrational fear in me.


chickadeedadee2185 t1_j67cs4d wrote

Maybe, people are focusing on the other because their minds cannot handle the horror.


and_dont_blink t1_j67lkm4 wrote

>Am I cold, or are the social media posts going around about this story unnervingly sympathetic to her? Yes, postpartum psychosis is terrible.

You're being cold, though admittedly I've seen severe PPD up close (but not pp psychosis) and a psychotic break of an acquaintance completely out of the blue that ended with them stopping their car and trying to break into the nearest home. With a lot of illnesses, how you react to it can be influenced by how much exposure you have to it in general.

Everyone likely knows someone who has had kids and struggled mentally with some form of PPD, they likely know someone who has struggled severely though not to this degree (post partum psychosis is very rare). It isn't someone with severe mental issues having children, it isn't someone developing them and it being clear what should be done -- it's people imagining they have a kid and it happens to them because it really can happen to anyone.

Who do you get angry at here? It's hard to be angry at the mother, she threw herself out a window and if she's able to become lucid her life is a horror film now that no one would wish on them. She was seeking treatment. The father, who called it in? Perhaps he was irresponsible, or maybe he had to pee for a moment and no one knew how severe things were -- either way his life is a nightmare and we just don't know. Perhaps the treatment professionals, but this is rare and these things can take a sharp left turn quickly -- you're often looking at involuntary hospitalizations that can be difficult. What you're left with is tragedy, and a "therebut for the grace of god go I."

If more info come out and there was severe negligence that'll be another story, but right now based on what we know who do we get angry at?

>But she can simultaneously be a sick person who is also a killer.

That doesn't really track, we aren't talking about anti-social personality disorder, we're talking about postpartum/perpetual/postnatal psychosis. Maybe you are confusing psychosis and psychopathy?

This is psychosis, and hence aren't viewing reality like we are, and aren't really "them." Their judgement is impaired, and it often combines hallucinations and false beliefs/delusions -- the entire idea of psychosis is you aren't experiencing reality properly. It isn't really them.


EducationalElevator t1_j68cpjn wrote

I don't really follow your last point. Because it was psychosis and not psychopathy, that makes her less of a murderer? I just get the sense that if this wasn't a wealthy white family there wouldn't be as many heart emojis floating around the internet for someone who violently murdered three babies.


and_dont_blink t1_j68egbs wrote

>I don't really follow your last point. Because it was psychosis and not psychopathy, that makes her less of a murderer?

It was a response to the comment that someone can be sick but still a killer. That person isn't that person, they're the illness -- and post partum psychosis is usually treatable and not permanent. It's akin to blaming you for a dream you had.

>I just get the sense that if this wasn't a wealthy white family there wouldn't be as many heart emojis floating around the internet for someone who violently murdered three babies.

That sounds like you are projecting your own baggage onto the situation? I can't speak to the heart emojis you are seeing somewhere, but when these cases come up (and if you search you'll find them) the response is generally shock and that it's a horrible tragedy.

You see the exact opposite for something like Munchausen by proxy cases, or the rare cases where a mother actually is a killer and something happens to a child so she can be with another man etc.


[deleted] t1_j66bjyc wrote

You don’t see this level of sympathy when your run of the mill homeless mentally ill person kills someone.


zumera t1_j66mwxz wrote

But you should. And frankly, this is part of the problem with the version of “destigmatization” that’s currently popular where everyone pretends that mental illness couldn’t possibly make people do things that they would never do if they were well.


Visible-Education-98 t1_j66rd97 wrote

Not even homeless, just not living in the right town is enough for you to not get sympathy for being mentally ill.


directtodvd420 t1_j66yxb4 wrote

Seriously. This Duxbury mom is getting lots of grace that say a Taunton mom wouldn’t.


LadyGreyIcedTea t1_j6g49rk wrote

If this case had been a single black mother from Dorchester as opposed to a married white woman from Deluxebury there would be none of this sympathy and immediate assumption of PP psychosis.


Present-Structure-98 t1_j6fx2bp wrote

I find it hard to have sympathy for someone that just killed her own children PPD or no PPD.


Witty-Milk-5924 t1_j66bswg wrote

Yeah I mean there is a discussion to be had about how society truly doesn’t not care about there after effects of pregnancy and mental illnesses that can come out of it nor proving the necessary care, like all that is valid but it’s very disturbing how I have yet to see a post that sympathizes with the two fucking children dead, the baby who will be traumatized for the rest of their life and the husband who now has to live with the reality of two children dead and a baby holding to dear life and the murderer being his wife who will never see the outside world. I personally am always gonna have more sympathy for the kids.


[deleted] t1_j66codb wrote

Me too. I truly do not understand how the kids were allowed to stay in the home with an actively psychotic person. ETA: you can believe if this wasn’t a well to do family in duxbury and there was a psychotic parent in dorchester these kids would have been removed


TalentedCilantro12 t1_j66l6n5 wrote

I do agree there should be more attention to mentally ill individuals who commit murders, pregnant or not. BUT it does take a lot to remove a kid from the household whether they are from Dorchester or anywhere else.


[deleted] t1_j66mu8j wrote

I understand. But when children are at risk of being killed and there is not a dedicated 24/7 shift worker keeping eyes on the psychotic person, how did anyone think it was ok for the kids to stay there? The father was working from home, taking care of the kids and managing a psychotic person by himself? That is unmanageable for one person


TalentedCilantro12 t1_j66neg6 wrote

You are right but doing something like that is very hard to do in the community. Hopefully the mental health providers watched her carefully and if she had any sort of statements implying suicidal/homicidal thoughts they would have her in a facility with 24/7 monitoring.


[deleted] t1_j66n2l2 wrote

And I don’t necessarily mean that DCF needed to get involved but maybe have family members take the kids until it was safe?


TalentedCilantro12 t1_j66nkwi wrote

That's actually pretty much the standard for kids who are abused, etc. I just hope the place she was attending for care made suggestions to not leave her alone, etc and hopefully family or friends could have stepped up to help (if husband told them about it)


[deleted] t1_j66cvdj wrote

I really hate to tell you that the baby has also died. These innocent kids are the real victims. They did not have the ability to get up and leave. They were at the mercy of their parents


Visible-Education-98 t1_j66qou1 wrote

I honestly cannot judge her, however, ALL of my sympathy is for her husband….oh my GOD….that poor guy.💔


SnarkyChief t1_j69rp8o wrote

You are being cold. Full stop. I'm in genuine disbelief that you got gold for this comment.


AliceP00per t1_j69b7aq wrote

Yeah no one was sympathetic to that woman from brockton who killed her kids last year in some voodoo spell thing


PresentScientist4278 t1_j67139j wrote

The sudden sympathy for a killer of children—her own children—is something that struck me too. It says a lot about society’s views towards race, class, and gender. If she was anything but a white woman from Deluxebury, people would be treating this a lot differently. Anyone who kills children is clearly mentally sick, but when it’s anyone else we don’t parse out diagnoses, we just call it f’ed in the head and they’re a monster undeserving of any modicum of compassion.


joearchang t1_j679hn1 wrote

I think we all try to make sense of this horrific thing. Intelligent people want to know what would drive someone to do the unimaginable. It’s mental health issues. So it becomes human to everyone. The same mental health issues could be attributed to most violent behaviors. We draw a line in our mind between something being justified and unjustified. The line gets blurred when the evil doer is a cute girl that doesn’t look like she would hurt a fly. Sad


Full_Alarm1 t1_j6cx1yz wrote

Respectfully, there are very few women who kill their children who are in active treatment for post partum mental health issues. I would challeneg you to find another story like this. That’s a big part of the sympathy- that we as a society dont give enough attention to pp mh, and that even when a woman did give it attention, this happened.

You can blame all the other factors class/race/gender- they are clearly relevant. The idea of someone being aware of, and taking advantage of, help in this situation, and then tragically having the worst outcome is part of what makes so many people have sympathy. Among the other reasons you’ve mentioned


LadyGreyIcedTea t1_j6g4sb2 wrote

To be fair, who has an easier time accessing mental health treatment? An affluent woman who in all likelihood has private health insurance and a husband who is able to work from home while she seeks treatment or a woman of lower socioeconomic means who is on MassHealth and who doesn't have family support?


EducationalElevator t1_j6baru0 wrote

Agree with you 100% and I'm getting down voted to oblivion for suggesting race or class has anything to do with the odd reaction to this tragedy from the Instagram Mamas


shitz_brickz t1_j69ehdp wrote

Ya like I get that PPD is real and is diagnosed and all that.

But if this was a guy or a minority they would be considered a monster and no sickness would excuse killing your children.


Jezebels_lipstick OP t1_j6a0ujn wrote

About 10 years ago, a woman around the corner from me killed her toddler & stabbed her unborn baby. Like stabbed herself in her pregnant belly. Her husband was just gone for 20 mins to pick up their Chinese takeout & came home to that.


Etek1492 t1_j69mly8 wrote

Nah, it's not you. I've been dancing around Twitter making the wine moms choke down their fucking hypocrisy.

Is this a tragedy all around? Of course it is, but search by "Duxbury" and count how many of these Ukrainian Flag sporting emoji dimwits are expressing support for the killer and completely not mentioning the three children who were fucking strangled to death.


occasional_cynic t1_j6825cg wrote

My wife is a professional therapist and what's out there on the background of the story she says is full of holes.


rayvin4000 t1_j66bev0 wrote

I don't know anything about postpartum depression but I know my mom had it and did not kill me. So I honestly don't know. Other people say it's unbelievable what it can do to you.

Edit: I'm legit wondering why I am so heavily down voted. I am legitimately asking a question I know nothing about.


Feisty-Donkey t1_j66cof4 wrote

Postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis are different illnesses. This is a tragedy on the level of the Andrea Yates story which is very similar, right down to medical personnel making it very clear that the mother was too mentally unstable to be left alone with the children.


[deleted] t1_j66cgp4 wrote

It is a form of psychosis which is what schizophrenia is. It is a break from reality with auditory or visual hallucinations. Psychosis is psychosis. Post partum psychosis refers to psychosis occurring after giving birth.


rayvin4000 t1_j66cnlc wrote

I see. So ppd is way different than psychosis.


[deleted] t1_j66dnvu wrote

No. It is the same psychosis ETA: PPD is psychosis that develops after birth. But psychosis is psychosis. It isn’t a different kind of psychosis. It is usually temporary and will resolve unlike schizophrenia in which suffers have psychosis and hallucinations but that illness is lifelong


Feisty-Donkey t1_j66e39e wrote

Her comment was correct. PPD= Postpartum Depression.


[deleted] t1_j66ek0b wrote

Ahh, I re-read and I see what you mean. Agreed that PPD doesn’t always progress to post partum psychosis


camocamo911 t1_j69eu2v wrote

Do we know how the husband is doing? He just lost his whole family. I hope he is getting a lot of support. This is pain beyond pain.


Imaskeet t1_j69kzij wrote

Nah, instead he's getting tons of comments blaming him for going out for 20 minutes.

It's like, you try being tethered to a mentally ill wife and 3 young children without being able to get 10 mins to yourself literally EVER for months and months. I know for sure I would crack and most people would too.


camocamo911 t1_j6cu33j wrote

People have no empathy. Do they not think that he's going to blame himself for those 20 minutes for the rest of his life?


401klaser t1_j6b9316 wrote

his statement was posted on the gofundme that was setup by his family. it is heartbreaking.


camocamo911 t1_j6cu6kh wrote

Shit, OK. I don't think I could read it but good to know that I can help somehow.


winter_bluebird t1_j6cyhcs wrote

The conversation should not be about how we, as a society, punish her for killing her children. It should be how we, as a society, work to ensure this never happens again.

Post-partum psychosis is shockingly COMMON. It happens to 0.1-0.2% of birthing mothers. Post-partum psychosis is DEADLY, 5% of women who are diagnosed with it kill themselves and 4% kill their children. It’s a serious, serious disease. She was doing everything right: was in outpatient treatment, was not supposed to be left alone, etc.

Where is the societal support? Where are the beds so she could be inpatient? Why does someone in her position have to rely on insurance agreeing to pay for treatment? Why do we not cover aides to help with home care and supervision? Where is the state funding for mental health treatment? Where is the respite care for her husband?

It’s hard because the first instinct is to judge HER. The second instinct is to judge her husband. But it’s not a PRIVATE tragedy, we should all take a good hard look at the state of mental health care instead. We need to do fucking better: the kids’ deaths were preventable.


greyrabbit12 t1_j68gaps wrote

It’s about the system failing and an unimaginable tragedy happened that can’t be put into words. To think in this state, with her employment options the system failed so bad this was the result. Imagine what the options are for others. Her insurance and hospital frankly couldn’t recognize this and mostly likely put profits ahead of inpatient care and time off. People are broke, and dealing with all this stress and all the money in the world goes no where when help is needed in 2023. A lot of people should lose their jobs and go to jail in this case too.


obsessed2022 t1_j6a8m5a wrote

There is an update on the gofundme from Patrick in his words. Heartbreaking


xenianblossom t1_j6mil15 wrote

I live in the area, a family member of mine was the eldest daughters teacher, and a close friends sister was called into the ER to deal with the the situation given Her long term experience. My understanding is that the family had been using online grocery shopping and pickup/delivery with the moms ongoing health issue, and dad had been working at home. That night, the wife had him get grocery’s from a different supermarket, one about 25, vs the 5 away their normal store. My family member, the teacher, said by all accounts the family was happy, supportive, and the girl was so happy. She drew her a rainbow the last day she was in class(she loved to draw rainbows) the mom was inpatient and I don’t know if she was released because her benefits ran out because the doctors thought she was stable enough for outpatient. While yes, “why leave the kids?!” He was working from home, and the grocery store(I know the area) is a mere five minute drive with curbside pickup. He was doing everything possible to prevent this. I’m sure she wasn’t recommended to drive for mental health reasons. If the doctor deemed her stable enough, and her reasoning for you to take the extra 10,15 mins to go to the store for something, and no one in their worst nightmare, let alone the person birthed your three kids and helped many other babies come into the world(she was a pediatric nurse). All of that considered, the states immediately pressing charges because sending her husband away for extra time is clearly grounds for premeditated murder. I feel intense sadness for her, the punishment will be her not having her children, because our mental health system is inadequate. The state and law and country however this could be huge with “not guilty by reason on insanity” precedents


[deleted] t1_j66da8l wrote

There is a reason why people who are mentally unwell in prisons and hospitals get put on 5, 10 or 15 minute checks because they will harm themselves in an instant. And yet this guy leaves her alone for 25 minutes?


Long-Willingness-239 t1_j66m7zo wrote

If she was that mentally ill and needed full time supervision, she should have been in an inpatient facility. If she was in an outpatient program she wasn’t deemed a serious threat to herself or others by mental health professionals that she met with every day. The system sucks and she might have not been very forthcoming with her symptoms. I don’t think it’s his fault. If professionals say she should not be left alone at home because she is unsafe, then they should have placed her into proper treatment which would have been an inpatient facility.


Roszo21 t1_j695wng wrote

I hate to tell you, but MA has a severe shortage of inpatient facilities and the cost can be prohibitive for families even if you can find a bed. A friend's son needed inpatient treatment and had a history of violence but only could access outpatient because of lack of beds. It's apparent that many people on this thread have little knowledge of how broken MA's mental health system is.


SnarkyChief t1_j69skqx wrote

Thank you. Take my poor person's gold 🏅🏅🏅

It is very clear that most people in this thread have no idea how broken our mental healthcare system is here in MA. It's like some of these people think that you can just stroll right into an inpatient facility and get a bed. People spend days and days and days in ERs waiting for a bed to open. And even if you get a bed, odds are that you're heading to a less-than-favorable facility.

The ignorance in here is shocking.


goodvibes3311 t1_j69v2mh wrote

I was going to say. I had also heard (not sure if true) that she HAD been inpatient but was eventually released into the 5 day a week outpatient program. We don’t know why she was released though. It honestly could have been lack of beds or even insurance not paying for it anymore. I know someone who was released from inpatient who really should not have been but insurance stopped paying after a period of time and his family just couldn’t afford to pay out of pocket to keep him there.


PollyDoolittle t1_j6b7nuw wrote

And if you're lucky enough to get a bed, insurance will cover 5 to 14 days and you're discharged. The system is broken.


kauisbdvfs t1_j6ckd7r wrote

I don't think anyone is blaming the family, I think they are wondering why the fuck access to mental healthcare is so lacking in MA, a psychotic woman on the verge of murdering her own kids was allowed to be around them... that is fucked. People need to start questioning our government.


Long-Willingness-239 t1_j6b1pyi wrote

The point of my comment was to not blame the husband but rather the system. It falls on insurance companies and the broken mental health system.


chronicallyill_dr t1_j6burma wrote

My experience was in another country, but same. Three times I’ve needed inpatient treatment for depression, but got outpatient because there were no beds in the entire state and they put me in a very long waiting least (I’ve gotten better each time before hearing ever hearing about my turn coming up).

Each time my psychiatrist sent me on my way under the care of a family member and instructions of 24hr supervision (which is quite frankly unrealistic).


[deleted] t1_j66njcw wrote

But there aren’t enough beds for people to get stable or even admitted. I work in psych and it is very hard to even get admitted. Even then it may be 2-3 days tops and then you are released. No one is in long enough to recover. It’s a revolving door


kauisbdvfs t1_j6ckgk2 wrote

Makes the government lots of money too.


Visible-Education-98 t1_j66s29n wrote

Oh please let’s not even go there with blaming the husband.


batsofburden t1_j675h0t wrote

What if it was a violent pitbull that he left the kids alone with for 25 min. That's basically the same situation if his wife was clinically psychotic & unstable.


tbootsbrewing t1_j68gnae wrote

Yeah, if he left three kids under the age of 6 with a dog in charge of them, that would be highly negligent. You make an excellent point.


Imaskeet t1_j69k0sv wrote

The people working at the prisons work 8 or 12 hour shifts then get to go home. You try having to be on lockdown at your house with a crazy wife and 3 young children. Can't even leave for 5 minutes for eternity.

Tell me you wouldn't go crazy. Or crack and decide that maybe you could chance grabbing a pizza down the road just to get a break.


[deleted] t1_j66c6i4 wrote

I don’t get the pizza run. Your wife is mentally unstable for the past 8 months, cannot work due to her mental status, attends an intense 5 day a week program for her illness and you have been told to not leave her alone with the children and yet you go out for 25 minutes to get take out??? WTF?


zumera t1_j66ndrc wrote

We obviously don’t know the details or circumstances, so this is all speculation—but you would be surprised at how quickly things just become a part of your life. Your family member is, for example, suicidal. You spend months and months on edge, vigilant. Vigilance becomes routine. Nothing happens, day in and day out. You let down your guard for a brief moment and it all goes to shit.

We don’t need to sit here in judgement. We don’t know what his life, what their lives, were like.


[deleted] t1_j66pge7 wrote

I’m sorry if that is something you had to deal with yourself ( suicidal family member). It is true. It is too much for a few family members to constantly be vigilant and yet there isn’t anyplace they can go so what do you do?


[deleted] t1_j66o2yi wrote

Of course I don’t know their personal lives but I have gotten these facts from the multiple news stories over the past couple of days. They must be based in some facts?


Trpdoc t1_j67rwpu wrote

You can’t make a single pizza run for 8 months. You’ll go crazy too don’t be dumb


Feisty-Donkey t1_j66lcm4 wrote

Can you share the news source for this?


[deleted] t1_j66ljs5 wrote

It is from several of the Boston news channels and Boston newspaper twitter feeds. Sorry, I’m old and don’t know how to link


Torch3dAce t1_j66s4p0 wrote

I can't see her not getting at least manslaughter.


bobmcrobber t1_j66wl0m wrote

I think she'll be charged with 1st degree murder due to the children being strangled. Fucking grim


chickadeedadee2185 t1_j67cdzi wrote

First degree has to be pre-meditated.


SharpCookie232 t1_j67f7vl wrote

Can't she just plead insanity. I mean, that seems to be the case.


Scribblr t1_j68kj9r wrote

Pleading insanity isn’t a get out of jail free card. It just means you’d go to a different jail with “hospital” in the title along with all the other insane people.

It’s still jail and it’s still awful.


SharpCookie232 t1_j68os84 wrote

I know, but I think she's heading to psych hospital (Bridgewater), not prison. Although, maybe she'll go to prison afterwards.


Scribblr t1_j68p1qe wrote

Yeah true, but Bridgewater is when I meant by “a prison with hospital in the title.” It’s still a prison.


chickadeedadee2185 t1_j67upqa wrote

I am sure that is what will happen. She will go to Bridgewater.


bobmcrobber t1_j68rztn wrote

It can be interpreted as either 1st or 2nd, as strangling usually is intended to kill


SomePolack t1_j68jkkn wrote

Uh it takes quite a bit to strangle one person, not just 3.

Psychosis would likely render that impossible anyways, I’d see this being “not fit to stand trial.”


chickadeedadee2185 t1_j68kk1e wrote

I am just letting the person I answered know what is necessary for a first degree murder charge.


SomePolack t1_j68l4eo wrote

I got you, I just mean that strangling 3 people seems like it would have to be pre-meditated after the 1st one was killed. This case is different, though.


Torch3dAce t1_j66sdj7 wrote

Did the husband take any steps to help his wife or just pretend PPD doesn't exist? Honest question.


StaticMaine t1_j66t6i2 wrote

Seriously? She was getting treatment and he was getting food for the family. I can’t believe there’s anyone who is trying to build a case against him.


Torch3dAce t1_j66tpdm wrote

I asked a question. I wasn't implying he is guilty of anything.


StaticMaine t1_j66tu30 wrote

Let’s be honest - the wording of your question was intentional. Saying “pretending” indicates you already have this idea that he’s not doing anything. There’s nothing sincere about your question.


Torch3dAce t1_j66u614 wrote

Reading comprehension is lacking I see. Anyhow have a lovely evening.


StaticMaine t1_j66uc16 wrote

What made you say “or just pretend PPD doesn’t exist?”

Let’s stop pretending that reading comprehension is the issue here.


IDCFFSGTFO t1_j68ky7a wrote

What made you ignore the word "or"? Because you're just looking to trash somebody?


StaticMaine t1_j68l4le wrote

It’s not unreasonable to ask if he tried to help her. The second part clearly shows a bias and preconceived idea of the answer, almost like asking a rhetorical question.

But again, keep pretending otherwise I guess.


Shemsuni t1_j6ai6m6 wrote

You have very low emotional intelligence.


The_eldritch_bitch t1_j66xafy wrote

He switched his job to WFH so he could help with the kids and she could get treatment. It was mentioned at the vigil