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Darkrain0629 t1_j6dt6o6 wrote

That's a seriously majestic picture but it's crazy to think that polar bear is just thinking "I'm gonna kill you mother fuc-"


T2Legit2Quit t1_j6dx6dq wrote

The polar bear might be the apex of apex predators. They're big, fast and always ready to kill.


dranaei t1_j6dyibz wrote

What a coincidence, so are missiles.


MonkeyPanls t1_j6flg4x wrote

-- The post brought to you but the new FGM-186 "Polar Bear" surface to surface missile by Raytheon.


mentorofminos t1_j6i01l2 wrote

I hear that other missile manufacturers only fire 55% of the missile while the Polar Bear fires 100%. That's 45% more missile PER MISSILE. Truly an Animal King!


Masonjaruniversity t1_j6iv8qy wrote

That maybe too much missile for me. Can get like 75% and hold onto the other 25% for later?


FFS_WORD_WORD_NUMBER t1_j6h91aq wrote

Like the ear buds? ^^^jk


eyesotope86 t1_j6hxx8r wrote

If Raytheon made earbuds, they'd cost 6.5 million dollars, be made of 45 bucks worth of materials, and the first 3 generations would sound like shit and randomly blow your left ear off.

And the government would use our taxes to buy 450 million pairs.


jondubb t1_j6imkq1 wrote

We (US) already have knife missiles, kind of upset it wasn't named polar bear express now.


Zappababuru t1_j6kqu87 wrote

>knife missiles

Had no clue about this until your comment, which prompted me to Google "knife missile." That's wild. Pretty interesting idea.


SidewaysInfinity t1_j6grsje wrote

The polar bear always knows where it is because it knows where it's not


Hopperkin t1_j6gyp1z wrote

What a coincidence, so are people...


smurb15 t1_j6h39u3 wrote

More like a virus. Use up every natural resource and then move on to the next plentiful area until we deplete that


khlnmrgn t1_j6hsy4a wrote

We only started doing that ~200 years ago. That's a feature of industrial civilization, not human nature.


malachi347 t1_j6icjpb wrote

Not sure why you got downvoted, overpopulation is a problem everyone seems to be willfully ignorant of.


[deleted] t1_j6ec23i wrote



dranaei t1_j6ecakj wrote

Mad? I was making a joke as to how missiles can be compared to bears.


wilks64 t1_j6ev5ge wrote

Wow defensive much!? You basically just admitted to being mad. /s


iAmUnintelligible t1_j6g9bfm wrote

Even the /s didn't save you


wilks64 t1_j6gduwl wrote

Oh well, people not getting jokes is the whole reason this little thread exists. Cheers!


RichCorinthian t1_j6espcz wrote

>They're big, fast and always ready to kill

Must be easy for them to write a profile on a dating app. "Big, fast, and DTK."


SpookyGeek t1_j6fn352 wrote

I guess that makes melting ice an apex apex apex predator.


arctechnica t1_j6fp871 wrote

They just have to watch out for hippos. Hippos hax life.


willstr1 t1_j6gxl2g wrote

If a polar bear is chasing you, strip naked, you wouldn't want the bear to choke on your jacket would you


Zauberer-IMDB t1_j6g4sf9 wrote

Yeah except orcas will eat them. Man is the ultimate apex, since we kill everything. Disqualifying them there are 2 top dogs. The sperm whale and the orca.


concernedexpressions t1_j6h8nlt wrote

So are humans, to be fair. Our "tool use" has gotten out of hand. There are people on this earth that can call for a nuclear strike remotely. That's fucked up.


SheCouldFromFaceThat t1_j6ikxl4 wrote

I'd pit them or a Kodiak against any other predator, not like an elephant or rhino or other opportunistic carnivore, like an actual predator. In terms of toughness and sheer power, they might have everyone else beat.


elbizzlee t1_j6ily0u wrote

Salt-water croc is about all I can think of to challenge the polar bear. Interesting that in this case we have a croc vs another semi-aquatic so if the battle occurs in or near water, even that won’t be entirely in the croc’s advantage.

However, a full-grown saltie will outweigh the polar bear by quite a bit. They are so much more massive than most people realize.


SheCouldFromFaceThat t1_j6isyst wrote

Must be. I can't realistically picture a croc that big.

Good luck doing the spin of death on a fuckin bear, though.


mcgyver229 t1_j6hvhkp wrote

Polar Bear are the largest predatory land animal on Earth.


drawnred t1_j6jy71z wrote

pretty sure a grizzly beats a polar bear in a fight


Pr0j3ct_02 t1_j6h0zg7 wrote

Pretty sure that title goes to gators. They have hard to destroy skin, gobble a lot of limbs, and survived a lot of the Extinction events


Sage296 t1_j6hbkff wrote

I think a polar bear would have no problem destroying a gator


drakonlily t1_j6e5cys wrote

Polar bears are no joke, they can stalk prey for miles before striking. Imagine turning around and seeing that. Wonder if he had to change his pants when he got to safety.


pornplz22526 t1_j6gt1oq wrote

Don't worry; he wore the brown pants that day.


edelburg t1_j6il8hm wrote

Lemon juice and baking soda with cold water for bloodstains...or you could just wear red.

Fucking idiot...


vrenak t1_j6ehx60 wrote

So can humans, that polar bear better beware it may be the prey and not the hunter...


darkrider400 t1_j6ew8qq wrote



Perpetually_isolated t1_j6gib4e wrote

He's not wrong though. That's what's terrifying about being hunted by humans. Animals can run from us but we can track them and we WILL catch up.


HelmSpicy t1_j6gnuvp wrote

Pretty sure most humans I see at Walmart aren't catching up to any prey that isn't already dead


Perpetually_isolated t1_j6gpv06 wrote

That's true. I'm also not seeing many polar bears at Walmart though.

Which is kinda the point. We have giant swaths of land that predators avoid at all costs because they know that we are to be feared as a species.

There are all those soft meaty lethargic people and predators absolutely know better than to get near them.


hldsnfrgr t1_j6gt6g9 wrote

We've always been hunter-gatherers. The folks at Walmart are gatherers.


Idontfightwit12yrold t1_j6gzvdf wrote

Polar bears are one of the animals that will actively hunt humans I seriously doubt they are going to be afraid of one


Perpetually_isolated t1_j6h26rf wrote

Yeah they are one of maybe 2-3 animals on the planet that will see humans as good and not a predator. And the only reason for that is because they live in pretty much the only place humans cannot populate. They see humans as food because they are always starving, and because they never see us.

Weird thing is, we have literally driven them to the brink of extinction and most humans have never even seen one. That's how high we are on the food chain.


kewlkidmgoo t1_j6hxrd1 wrote

He is wrong. That observation clearly does not apply to this situation. The photographer is not using his superior stamina to chase down this bear and kill it while it’s exhausted.


TheCaspica t1_j6f8347 wrote

"When you were partying I studied The Blade"


-Chicago- t1_j6gf9zg wrote

Dude polar bears are one of the few animals that can easily shrug off gun shots, unless you're walking the arctic with a bandolier of grenades you're fucked.


novA69Chevy t1_j6nbt8z wrote

Grenades to a polar bear is like a snap pop firework. You need a nuke.


ZelRonso t1_j6duc29 wrote

Say your prayers right there bc unless you have ship in tow that's the last photo you'll ever take.


JethroFire t1_j6ft6fi wrote

If it's black, fight back, if it's brown lie down, if it's white, say goodnight.


Iheardyoubutsowhat t1_j6fvoca wrote

Not really, the polar bear part is right, but the rest is bs. Alot of black bears are brown, and some brown bears are black. You are better served by judging a bears ear positions. If they are back or pinned, they mean to do damage. If they are up, the are posturing and bluffing, and a calm back down is appropriate.


5inthepink5inthepink t1_j6gff74 wrote

Another handy tip is to ask whether the bear is currently biting your limbs. If the bear is biting your limbs, it probably means you harm. If not then you should be okay.


JethroFire t1_j6gi0i4 wrote

You can also shoot the shit out of the bear if it charges you first, and then determine the specific species afterwards.


TheLeemurrrrr t1_j6hmz5u wrote

Grizzly bears get much larger than black bears. If you get the two confused, you already lost.


thesoak t1_j6il9c4 wrote

If someone can't tell the difference between a black bear and brown bear, they probably won't remember the rhyme anyway. It's not about the color, it's about the species.


edelburg t1_j6ilgnw wrote

Also, brown bears have a distinctive hump in their back.


Adderallman t1_j6g0kch wrote

Are you implying they snapped this photo and instantly uploaded to the internet and he was eaten shortly after 😂


MrStickySpaz t1_j6ect0o wrote

Following? You mean hunting?


Chradamw t1_j6eqgzd wrote

No he’s waiting for the photographer to stop because he wants to ask a question


ReplacementRough5190 t1_j6hdtlt wrote

Bear: “I regret to inform you that your application for credit has been rejected, that mole on your foot is malignant and your wife is thinking of leaving you.”

Photographer: “What the hell?! Why would you, a polar bear, follow me out here for hours in the Arctic just to tell me all that?”

Bear: “Sorry mate, it’s just my job. I hate being the bearer of bad news.”


djsedna t1_j6g4z9n wrote

he's clearly just being polite and giving him his photo opportunity, polar bears are known to be very courteous


khlnmrgn t1_j6ht90u wrote

"We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty!"


Fleaslayer t1_j6eqajp wrote

Last picture found on a camera roll


HotSalsaAssFire t1_j6gu5q0 wrote

You joke but this scenario played out in Denali National Park. It was digital though, if I recall.

First person (recorded at least) to die from a bear mauling in the park’s history.

**photo not shown in article


1165834 t1_j6h8485 wrote

Thanks for linking the article but to save everyone else a click, there is no photo.


Fleaslayer t1_j6guprr wrote

Was that like a dozen or more years ago? I seem to remember seeing the pics and it's literally like a few of a mama bear and her cubs, then one of the mama bear standing, looking at the camera, then her coming towards the camera. Like, I wasn't sure if it was a joke - sad though.


KuroOni t1_j6e33ts wrote

Beautiful picture, but you won't be able to convince me to swap places with the photographer even if the picture would be worth billions.


halmyradov t1_j6ewcb5 wrote

Depends what lens I'll be using, and if there's a safehouse somewhere.

For a billion, I'm ready to take even the stupidest odds


445nm t1_j6ex9v2 wrote

No one said you can't take a gun.

For a billion, you can probably take the bloody pictures from within an APC with machineguns and stuff.

Unless people show up and say that these can't even tickle bears because bears are literal gods or something.


only_for_browsing t1_j6h19t2 wrote

Fun fact, the original word for bear is lost because people were so afraid that if you said it a bear would show up and eat you, so they used the word that eventually morphed into bear as a euphemism


hehehuh t1_j6hh0nu wrote

It's not really lost, I think. Some languages still use it, for example ursus in Latin is afaik closely related to the original Germanic word. But indeed bear is derived from the word brown


only_for_browsing t1_j6hjbkq wrote

I'm going off my brother who is almost worryingly obsessed with bears. Apparently ursa and other bear words all came from proto Indo European and all are not the original word for bear, which is lost, because of the fear. He could definitely be wrong but that's how he tells it


KuroOni t1_j6ey4m7 wrote

given that this bear is very clearly stalking the photographer, I am assuming it is the kind of lens that needs you to get up close to that beast. And since AFAIK polar bears avoid getting close to humans I don't think there is any safehouse in the area.


Hope you can outrun a polar bear because I am not sure even usain bolt in his prime will be able to.


Sparrowbuck t1_j6fz8u9 wrote

Hahah no they don’t. They’ll go wherever they like, humans or no.

They will 100% stalk and eat people. Anything that moves = food. Seals or carrion or garbage are usually just easier food.


fuqdisshite t1_j6fzzik wrote

the point is that if you are ever ANYWHERE and you see a polar bear watching you, you are now food. they do not waste energy following something that will not provide a source of food. obviously this photog is prepared, maybe a snowmobile sitting behind him, but this is the exception, not the rule.


Sparrowbuck t1_j6g0vfj wrote

He was in a little boat. This is actually from a really nice photograph book


fuqdisshite t1_j6g200s wrote

got it.

as a lover of the cold two of my bucket list items are the ice caps.


KuroOni t1_j6g2fqp wrote

Well, as it turns out, from a quick google search (an actual expert might jump in and correct me because as we all know google is not a cery reliable scientifically accurate source). Polar bears do in fact avoid humans when possible so my statement is indeed true, according to the same sources, they would rather hunt what they are used to hunt aka seals because they run less, they fight less, they look less intimidating and less "alien" than us humans.

Due to human activities and climate change, they are sometimes forced to take more risks by going close to humans to get food but they still prefer to keep their distance unless they really need food.

So no they don't just jump at anything that moves unless they are desperate. It is similar with a lot of other predators as well, they try to avoid people too.


SirGlenn t1_j6fvaz3 wrote

I heard my dog barking like insane mad, I ran out my back door and my face was a foot away from a black bear's face: I slammed my door on the black bear, went around the corner in my kitchen, looked out the window as the black bear ran fast as a black bear can run, into the woods: a polar bear would have made me, his lunch.


bogdanbiv t1_j6f7rqc wrote

No safehouse will provide you with such an angle. Maybe a boat?

But even in a boat this is stupidly dangerous


Dwight- t1_j6i0t1v wrote

The picture won the National Geographic prize out of 7,000 other contenders and a $10,000 prize…

Never mind billions, imagine 10k being the prize! Nowhere near enough!


Tigerbait2780 t1_j6eo6lz wrote

Then you don’t understand how big of a number a billion is


KuroOni t1_j6ewca4 wrote

Oh no I do, but I also understand the value of my life.


Tigerbait2780 t1_j6ex4qf wrote

Yeah…sorry, but people who say that don’t understand how big a billion is.

I mean I get it, you can pretend like there’s a list of things you would and wouldn’t do for billions of dollars for the memes, but at the end of the day anyone seriously offered it would take it regardless of what they think they’d do hypothetically.

We’re talking everyone you’ve ever cared about and everyone you ever could care about could be financially set for life and retire immediately, and you’d still have hundreds of millions of dollars to help the charities or causes of your choice. You’d take a pic of a polar bear for that and frankly nothing you say on the internet is going to convince me otherwise lmao


chewy201 t1_j6f0dra wrote

Can't spend it if you're dead. So it doesn't mater just how big a billion is as 1,000,000,000 is as useful as 1 to a dead man. That billion will also still be right where the dead man left it, in the middle of a frozen wasteland if not at the bottom on the ocean making it still worthless to your next of kin or anyone else.


Tigerbait2780 t1_j6f56sk wrote

What a bizarre set of assumptions and mental gymnastics to avoid the obvious lmao.

But regardless, if you think someone was going to hand you a billion dollars in the middle of the arctic you DEFINITELY don’t understand how much a billion dollars is lmfao, so at least we confirmed that much


cyanraichu t1_j6gfqtj wrote

Bro, you don't take your money with you to the grave. All the money in the world ain't worth my life.


Tigerbait2780 t1_j6kux2w wrote

Giving financial security to everyone I care about and ever could care about forever along with having hundreds of millions of dollars to give to causes I care most about is most definitely worth my life. And frankly I think anyone who feels otherwise is being unbelievably selfish, but that’s just me.


cyanraichu t1_j6l8k76 wrote

That's fair but your earlier comment was "you don't understand how much a million is", not "you should be more altruistic".

People know it's a lot of money.

Also, assuming one went through with that - and you're imo overestimating the courage and selflessness of humans, plus I disagree with your assertion that they're bad people if they don't literally die in this scenario, but I digress - IF you went through with that you'd have to have all the legal stuff set up first to make sure the money went where you want it, not just got taken away because "well you're dead now, that sucks".


Tigerbait2780 t1_j6ldg4w wrote

No that’s what I’m saying!! It’s BILLIONS with a B, not millions. I know it’s like “yeah that’s a lot of money, millions billions whatever” but that’s because you really understand how big of a number it really is, it’s hard thing to grasp

And I feel like we’re just being pedantic now, I shouldn’t have to qualify it with “if all the legal stuff is sorted”, it should be understood that no one’s risking their life for billions of dollars on a handshake. Like, what are we even doing here? This is getting silly.


cyanraichu t1_j6ll7ur wrote

You just totally ignored the entire main point of my comment, like didn't touch on it even a little bit, so yeah, definitely getting silly


RichCorinthian t1_j6et2a4 wrote

This reminds me of the footage Timothy Treadwell took hours before his death that includes the bear that ate him. Watch Werner Herzog's Grizzly Man for an amazing story of a total idiot.


Floxesoffoxes t1_j6hgozx wrote

Oh my God, you just unlocked a forgotten memory for me. I remember being shown this documentary when I was in secondary school. I have no idea why it was shown to us, but I remember being warned to never trust a bear. I live in rural Ireland, it's hardly a problem here.


bananasareappealing t1_j6h4v2b wrote

Interesting documentary, terrifying footage.

And yes, that guy was a total idiot, and an ass


fuqdisshite t1_j6g07nh wrote

i firmly believe that he fed the woman to the bears and ultimately sacrificed himself. it has been a while since i watched but there are a few things that really set me on that path way back when it first came out.


FresnoMac t1_j6hzhzw wrote

While in its meaning you can say that (because his gf wasn't really nuts like him, she just got eaten because of her dumb boyfriend) there's no evidence to suggest he sacrificed her literally and then gave himself up.

Dude was just that stupid to believe he had a connection with the bears.


fuqdisshite t1_j6ik4w5 wrote

i actually own a copy of the movie and have been putting off rewatching it. i will give it another look and see if i still feel the same way.


Germanofthebored t1_j6etwky wrote

That picture looks seriously wide-angle to me. Which would put the photographer awfully close to the edge of that water hole. No wonder the image is a bit blurry - there must have been a load of camera shake (and photographer shake)


Sad_Proctologist t1_j6h5gor wrote


Capital_Pea t1_j6fz7rh wrote

That is fucking nightmare fuel right there, polar bears are not a bear to be messed with or be anywhere in the vicinity of.


blueskies1800 t1_j6ejcca wrote

Can't complain. This bear is doing what it is supposed to do.


Crowzillah t1_j6expos wrote

My nightmare right there 😳


RagnarTheRed2 t1_j6gw1uz wrote

This has to be one of the scariest pictures I've ever seen.


mechapoitier t1_j6iefv8 wrote

The only thought going through its head is “when do I attack” and it’s right f’ing there.


Lethal_Opossum t1_j6g07sh wrote

I mean, they're kind of out there starving to death. Bet that reporter is looking pretty tasty.


cirenj t1_j6g397z wrote

Sir we would like to talk to you about your vehicles extended warranty.....


BlueSunflowers4589 t1_j6gz00s wrote

My irrational fear than any body of water contains a shark just got upgraded.


alvanoto t1_j6i65wq wrote

Window shopping


csward53 t1_j6igox5 wrote

Just think, that bear thinks you are a big seal or walrus that it is waiting to ambush. I don't know how the photographer kept their composure.


Scp0490 t1_j6fok85 wrote

Why did it look like a mountain at first is that just me or am I seeing things


MoFansMoMoney t1_j6fqacr wrote

how did he escape with his life?and the picture?


Brianb926 t1_j6g47zt wrote

Last thing that guy saw before his pants turned brown and he became dinner.


Jse034 t1_j6gcgcu wrote

Sends chills down your spine


Hnt-r t1_j6gd0rq wrote

If you see one it means it wants you to see it and you were selected for prey. No technique that works on other bears works on a Polar Bear - the only thing you can do is try to run away at this point


cdg192 t1_j6ggz2p wrote

Kinda reminds me of the end of the final Hobbit movie where Azog is floating underneath Thorin


wintermute916 t1_j6giovq wrote

Photographer - “glad I wore my brown pants…”


cbrrydrz t1_j6glgl0 wrote

Following or stalking?


The_Razielim t1_j6gsqi9 wrote

"Heard you were talking shit."


darkdark t1_j6gvbo6 wrote

Some say it’s still following him to this very day


1Hero1 t1_j6gx54z wrote

At the point you see him, he's probably following you for 2 hours or so.


lvl1developer t1_j6h7q3v wrote

Bear: I’m here to talk to you about your life insurance


kevincablez t1_j6hd0oy wrote

I thought it was a gif at first


dgrant92 t1_j6hoclj wrote

"MMMM...Human....It's "what's for dinner?"!


toxicity187 t1_j6hyhy9 wrote

That's made to look that way and not real right?


BEERnHOES t1_j6ktuu8 wrote

Not following he hunting


NerdyOwlTX t1_j6kw4f6 wrote

My rage/anxiety always just beneath the surface. Waiting...


jtocwru t1_j6l8hke wrote

I am sleepy, and I thought it said bipolar bear at first glance.


jettisonrec t1_j6lfu9k wrote

That bear definitely wants to eat him


benhaube t1_j6eqkdu wrote

This looks photoshoped. I really hope it is, anyway.


DrZed400 t1_j6g1joh wrote

It's just hungry


Mallardguy5675322 t1_j6g9qur wrote

If it’s white like the president, you heaven sent


TikkiTakiTomtom t1_j6g0n9b wrote

Just trap it underneath the ice… it’s a polar bear not an icebreaker ship…


Meanderthaller t1_j6f3nv3 wrote

This picture looks so badly photoshopped or is it just me.


CandidInsurance7415 t1_j6h6plc wrote

Definitely, had to sort by controversial just to see if i was crazy. Its super grainy.