I can't offer any statistical evidence but my anecdotal experience is that women often take infidelity with an internal sense of failure on their part, even if their brain tells them it was completely "on him". Men seem to internalise it far less.

The need to understand "why" is more obtainable if the reason was that the husband had an undisclosed sexual attraction or preference for other men. A woman may, after the initial hurt, be able to feel a level of understanding and commission in such a scenario, but when it's with another woman there is no reason that can offer any comfort, the only small solace is absolute honesty to whatever questions she may have.

Often it opens a door for the woman to question if she could have done something to prevent it, analysing her looks, struggling with her stuff esteem etc which in turn less to crippling amounts of insecurity, self doubt and inevitable comparison.

It's quite common for women to become fixated with the "other woman", feeling a need to know about her appearance and personality. I've noted that in instances such as infidelity that women often cling to obtaining information as a way of intenally maintaining some sense of order and control whilst trying to process & make sense of a situation.

Of course this is a large generalisation and there will be plentiful exceptions but such responses are surprisingly common.

You're very welcome. I understand your reaction too, and hopefully you've never had nor will have to experience such a situation, because for many people - of any gender - it can be absolutely devastating to have ones trust betrayed and the thing about betrayal is that it is never done by our perceived enemies but by those we loved and had faith in.

Those who cheat aren't necessarily bad people, they're often just emotionally immature, and those who do it repeatedly are most likely caught in a subconscious cycle of wanting love or sometimes just validation but being unable to cope with relationships. People who stay desire multiple offenses are also doing so to try to meet some subconscious need.

IMO it's unfortunate that society promotes falling into relationships so easily and we fail young people by but teaching them the absolute necessity to learn to qualify the people we meet as friends, lovers, partners, business associates etc - so many people end up in messy situations because they simply didn't take the time to qualify and observe someone before granting them access to their life at these levels.

Although there is inherent risk in trusting another person, we humans are wired for connection and will always seek it. That risk can be greatly reduced by knowing ourselves better, being clear about our wants, needs, expectations & boundaries. That self awareness affords us a level of protection. People that give anyone and everyone access to themselves at an emotional and physical level, let alone sexual, often fail to have a full sense of their own worth. If one values something, they naturally protect it, that also applies to our own hearts, sadly many people don't learn that lesson until after theirs has been broken.

For anyone interested in learning more about those things and creating harmonious successful romantic relationships I would suggest The Gottman Institute as a good starting place, check out their IG for example.

Some emotions and thoughts are only to be shared with certain people imo. It is part of the bond of trust between partners. Just like some activities are only to be shared with certain people. The activities are physical cheating, the emotions are emotional cheating.