uniqueUsername_1024 t1_ixm7v6m wrote
Reply to comment by blink-imherebaby in eli5 is there a scientific explanation or reason for intrusive thoughts or call of the void by DapperWheel521
What do you do if you used to be suicidal for so long that suicidal ideation becomes an automatic thought?
I have no real desire to hurt myself, but every time something bad happens to me, my brain goes “What if you [suicide method]?” It’s more than call of the void—it’s a specific and very detailed method using items that aren’t necessarily nearby. (Literally the same thoughts I had when I was actively suicidal.)
Thing is, I don’t want to hurt myself. I like living! But I can’t tell my therapist and risk being hospitalized—if there’s even a 1% chance of that happening, I’ll put up with the thoughts instead. They’re not a danger to me, just stressful and annoying. Is there anything I could research?
Brennir10 t1_ixmiq21 wrote
Was in a similar boat. Have you tried meditation? That did wonders for me. Now when the thought starts to come up I can take a breath, hit pause in my brain, try to understand what in my life might be triggering the thought , and then let the thought go without dwelling on it. Turn my mind to doing something about the current situation that might be triggering the thoughts. I know it is a trite suggestion but it really did work for me. I almost never think about suicide beyond the automatic “maybe I should kill my self “ thought. No rumination or anything
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