Taking a reasonable step back and making fair judgements about yourself is important - sometimes, you've got to listen to what your instincts are telling you, rather than just drown them out. But it's also very easy to get stuck in negative patterns of thought which actually prevent improvement and progress toward happiness. That's where programmes of self-correction have been shown to have significant measurable benefits.

Also, life is a codified self-delusion. You self-delude every single day in order to not go insane in the context of a society. CBT is merely acknowledging and exercising a little more control over the things we tell ourselves.

That's where a therapist can help guide you or you would have to assess the situation yourself.

If the negative thoughts themselves are what is causing you distress or making you unable to function in some way then the negative thoughts are causing the harm.

Like if you are afraid someone is trying to kill you every time you leave the house, but you know logically no one is, then CBT might be a good technique to help you.

But if someone is actually trying to kill you, law enforcement may be a better able to help you.

An important part of the therapy is "reality testing".

You might say, "I'm terrified of taking a girl to bed cos she'll probably just mock me for my tiny penis".

Well she might. Maybe one already did. So then the therapist might say, "Okay, 3 girls laughed, does that mean *all* girls will laugh? Maybe they will. There are at least 500 million eligible girls on earth and it's possible they'll all laugh. Three have laughed so far... but is that really enough to estimate that they *all* will? It seems a bit few to me. How about 50? How about you take another 47 girls to bed and if they all laugh, then that'll make it more likely that 'all' girls will laugh."

And then they all laugh up to girl number 6 who also laughs, but then says she really likes you and wants to see you again. What now? Is laughter a bad thing? Maybe they're just amused and like laughing.

So negative thoughts are often "right" but maybe they're more nuanced than you're currently seeing.

Or maybe the girls are being horrible to you. What kind of girls are you going for? Only bitchy "cool" girls? Oh okay, so maybe try 47 other women of different types and see if they treat you differently. Try a goth, a metalhead, a cheerleader, a librarian type... "reality test" all the way to self-comfort. :D

The negative thoughts might be right, but CBT is a tool to help a person figure that out. You work on removing a negative bias from your thinking, and if it still makes sense after that to perceive something as negative, than you do, but before deciding that, you’ve removed things like catastrophizing, paranoia, grandiosity, etc.

It’s not meant to delude yourself. It’s meant to give clarity to appropriately assess the situation and act accordingly.

I am the smartest, best-looking man alive. I am the smartest, best-looking man alive. I am the smartest, best-looking man alive. I am the smartest, best-looking man alive. I am the smartest, best-looking man alive. I am the smartest, best-looking man alive. I am the smartest, best-looking man alive. I am the smartest, best-looking man alive. I am the smartest, best-looking man alive. I am the smartest, best-looking man alive. I am the smartest, best-looking man alive. I am the smartest, best-looking man alive.

You say that like it is a bad thing. Research shows that people with a greater grasp of “reality” are less happy. Science is about facts, and facts don’t care how you feel; A positive mental attitude is about focusing on ideas that bring you contentment in life. Your negative thoughts might be “right”… but if they are not productive, or actively harmful, then how is that Better than constructive self-delusion? Go ahead, tell your nephews and nieces that Santa isn’t real; Your family will love you for that come Christmas. /s