I have a good story about farting in school.

Back in middle school, I was a terror. A legit fucking nightmare of a child and they for some reason, decided to try and correct this behavior by putting me into the advanced education course with the more gifted kids. Now I wasn’t dumb in the slightest, a little shit yes, but not dumb but all the teachers knew why I was in that class and most of em treated me like it.

There was one teacher, Mrs Cummins who I absolutely despised, not for any particular reason other than that I felt like she didn’t like me or felt like I didn’t deserve to be in her class. She had the most monotone voice in the entire world and I just was bored every time I had her class. So of course, I would try and make my own fun, and amuse my classmates who I knew were probably more bored than me.

One day, me and the kids at my table were talking and I happened to fart. I found it, obviously hilarious because I was a 12 year old boy (I mean. Farts are still funny and I’m 30 now) and couldn’t contain just how funny it was and burst out laughing. It was a particularly funny sounding one too.

In the middle of this, Mrs Cummins decides to walk over to the window, and crack it open. This of course, made me and the other kids laugh even fucking harder. How could I not?! My teacher just acknowledged my fart! I lost it.

Later that evening, when I’m at dinner my mother and father tell me they received a phone call today from Mrs Cummins. I stifled a giggle as I wondered why she might have called.

“We got a call from Mrs Cummins today saying you were disrupting class. When I asked her how you were distrusting it, she said you farted” trying to contain my laughter but very clearly showing a smile I looked over to my dad and saw him cracking. “So of course, I giggled a little bit and said ‘Well Mrs Cummins, everyone farts’” my mother then does her best Mrs Cummins impression in her monotone voice “‘Well, Mrs Wonder, I wouldn’t be laughing if I farted’” I fucking lost it, I managed to get out the story from my perspective and I don’t think my mother has ever laughed so hard at me being a little asshole before especially with her opening the window.

Wonder what Mrs Cummins is up to now. If you read this, I still laugh when I fart Mrs Cummins.