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BigDisk t1_j9r7qz3 wrote

Just give us actual cocaine, cowards!

166

Complicated-HorseAss t1_j9ttm7q wrote

Oh yeah, do some yayo and go and sit in a dark room where you need to focus on one thing for 2+ hours. Great idea.

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thebarberbenj t1_j9r15dg wrote

Well that’s just good marketing right there. Extra points if they put quadruple shots of espresso ⚡️🤩⚡️

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-ForgotToLogout- OP t1_j9r435q wrote

The theater said they’ll add salted caramel whiskey or whipped cream vodka if you ask for it. Lol.

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thebarberbenj t1_j9r9u1t wrote

See…THIS is how you get people back in to theaters.

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Inuyasha-rules t1_j9tic07 wrote

And not charge $45 for 2 tickets and a drink.

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thebarberbenj t1_j9v166h wrote

Well…I agree, but you definitely need to pay the staff well. $1 worth of dried corn and coke syrup and carbonated water, $2 of packaging for $10-$30 sale price? Still paying staff bare minimum? Yeah, I’ll stream until Dune or the next Tarantino movie gets me back in.

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nxdark t1_j9ra4uo wrote

Nah not interested. Let me stream day one.

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thebarberbenj t1_j9re33d wrote

Yeah…I’ll wait till it streams unfortunately. Haven’t been to a theater since Tarantino had one out

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Cali_Holly t1_j9rbwgw wrote

This sounds like the theater in Lexington, Kentucky.

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RedsRaver t1_j9r6zp1 wrote

Has to be Kentucky Theatre in Lexington

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-ForgotToLogout- OP t1_j9r2rrr wrote

FYI Cocaine Bear is actually a real story. The movie obviously embellished the story. He dropped dead instead of going on a killing rampage. But the true story of his death and the tracking down of his body is crazy. The drug trafficker was from KY and he’s currently housed in the state, which is why they’re doing special stuff. I highly recommend looking it up. His body was passed off through multiple people and Waylon Jennings owned him at one point.

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SayethWeAll t1_j9rle97 wrote

The fuller story is that a Lexington Ky narcotics officer named Drew Thornton becomes a drug dealer in the 1970s. He expands his narco empire until it’s the largest drug importer between the east coast and Chicago. He recruits friends from the police force and they set up a front company that provides bodyguards while having a reason to buy guns, body armor and planes and an easy way to launder money. They’re involved with several missing persons cases, the theft of military hardware from China Lake, the participation of members of Kentucky Gov John Y Brown's inner circle, and the time when Woody Harrelson’s dad killed a federal judge (all true). The cocaine bear part is just the end of the story, when the feds finally catch up to Thornton and he jumps out of a plane with a huge bag of coke, but his parachute doesn’t open. The bear dies, but is taxidermied, bought by Waylon Jenning, then by Kentucky for Kentucky, a tshirt and knickknack seller in Lexington.

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-ForgotToLogout- OP t1_j9rz4oy wrote

Excellent summary. The t-shirt company went through great lengths to find the body. They contacted a medical examiner in Georgia who autopsied the bear. He told them it was gifted to Chattahoochee River National Rec. Turns out a wildfire threat caused an evacuation in the 90’s so the bear was moved into temporary storage. It was discovered a month later that someone had stolen the bear along with other items. That’s when Waylon Jennings comes into play. The thief had taken the items to a pawn shop. The owner contacted Jennings to tell him the cocaine story and asked if he’d be interested in buying it. He took him up on the offer. For unknown reasons he took it to Las Vegas where it lived with a coke dealer until his death. The t-shirt people found out it was sold at auction and managed to get the list of buyers. They saw it was sold to a Chinese man who owned a medicine shop. The man had since passed but his wife was alive. They contacted her and explained everything. Neither she nor her husband knew of the bear’s history. They then asked if she’d be willing to part with it. She told them it always creeped her out and she’d give it to them for free if they’d pay for shipping. And that’s how Cocaine Bear ended up back in Kentucky wearing cool hats as the t-shirt shop’s mascot. The end.

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SickofItAll_4200 t1_j9rzv31 wrote

Waylon Jennings owned the bear's body or the trafficker's?? Cool either way

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-ForgotToLogout- OP t1_j9s0ghc wrote

He owned the bears body. He gifted it to a trafficker living in Vegas (not the original guy who killed cocaine bear). Just know there’s a lot of cocaine and a lot of criminals involved.

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stealth_mode_76 t1_j9twmc5 wrote

When Waylon died, the bear was sold at auction and bought by an Asian guy who ran a traditional type medicine shop. After he died, it was in storage and the guys from the Kentucky Fun Mall tracked it down and his wife basically gave it to them because she was afraid of it.

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petitepedestrian t1_j9r3ajo wrote

Thats hilarious and I would buy one for each hand.

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izza123 t1_j9r1eyz wrote

That movie is gonna suck the big one

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90swasbest t1_j9r4lf5 wrote

It wasn't made for Oscar bait, homie.

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chillwithpurpose t1_j9t0te5 wrote

As a recovering coke addict (someone who has done mountains of the stuff) it just looks bad. So bad the trailers don’t even trigger me.

I’ll still watch it. The real life story it’s based on is pretty funny, but also kind of tragic lol. That poor bear.

2

prontoon t1_j9u1vf5 wrote

So much that they are spending ungodly amounts of money on the ad campaign. As we see here. The OP even gave some additional background on the story 🙄

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Violated-Tristen t1_j9rc6u9 wrote

Hilarious. Terrible. I can’t believe the press this thing is getting.

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TheGamerPandA t1_j9rpw86 wrote

That bear looks so cute with all that cocaine up its snozz

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TirayShell t1_j9rg0tq wrote

Anybody else catching a huge whiff of cringe from "Cocaine Bear," like it's trying way too hard to be funny but is not funny in any way?

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chillwithpurpose t1_j9t0z3e wrote

Yeah the marketing for this movie has been a bit much I think. Feel like they’re shoving cocaine-bear down my throat and I just don’t care. I get they’d want to reach as many people as possible, but I’m not sold on the “hype”.

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privatestudy t1_j9rojnu wrote

Local Seattle theater is giving away free coke when you buy a medium popcorn. They too will add whiskey or vodka if you ask.

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eabst t1_j9sw64k wrote

I want one, this is too cute and witty haha

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Hood805 t1_j9u1mq7 wrote

That's just genius marketing

4

Oakheart- t1_j9rzvx6 wrote

Fun fact his cocaine empire had a higher GDP than a bunch of actual countries

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Zenketski_2 t1_j9srewa wrote

If I can't just buy an 8 ball before I walk into that movie What's even the point

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Deedo2017 t1_j9ukv3z wrote

As a Colombian this is incredibly offensive!

With that said, that looks yummy

3

brentus86 t1_j9snohu wrote

Why does that bear have cu- oh, it's supposed to be yayo. Got it.

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1

Wertical93 t1_j9stjuv wrote

That's cool but I bet the movie will have like 4/10 on IMDB

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prontoon t1_j9u1o4e wrote

Stop with the fucking marketing campaign on reddit. Fucking cocaine bear posts are everywhere.

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Yorudesu t1_j9r5oim wrote

KY? Kenya?

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-ForgotToLogout- OP t1_j9r6ik8 wrote

Kentucky

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Yorudesu t1_j9r6rj6 wrote

Yeh that's as silly as me writing SA and believe people understand.

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BigWungus t1_j9res4y wrote

South Africa? Or San Antonio?

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Yorudesu t1_j9rjlgi wrote

Sachsen Anhalt. You see how it doesn't work?

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BigWungus t1_j9rkbku wrote

What does KY stand for in Sachsen Anhalt?

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Yorudesu t1_j9rqs5r wrote

Does that even matter? The point is throwing abbreviations around only works in a certain area but not globally.

0

IveGotDMunchies t1_j9rramw wrote

You're in a funny themed subreddit being a bump on a log. Move on

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Yorudesu t1_j9rrigw wrote

Oh right. If I only expressed my issue in a joking manner first. Oh wait.

−1

IveGotDMunchies t1_j9rz7rd wrote

"Oh lul I got caught being dumb. I was just joking bro. It was just a prank"

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AsteroidTie t1_j9rci3u wrote

Caffeine is like cocaine. You think you could stop drinking coffee if you wanted, but you never have. They say what worries you masters you - then whats that make your caffeine addiction?

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Wogdiddy t1_j9reqzt wrote

Cocaine Bear is a shitty movie.

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stealth_mode_76 t1_j9tw74c wrote

It's a horror comedy....you're supposed to enjoy it for what it is. Not every movie is meant to be a work of cinematograpic art. It's for fun.

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eeevaughn t1_j9rf0sv wrote

Will anyone in Kenfucky get the joke?

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