I swear....my wife is trying to give me a heart attack....

Submitted by chuckdooley t3_125ofy4 in funny

TL;DR (now with spoiler options): >!My wife has taken her car in on her own for oil changes and routine maintenance the last two times...First time she came told me the estimate was $20K (actually $2K) and the second time, she told me they needed to change out her engine (see the end of the story for the "punch (to the gut) line"!<

Background: I am my wife's biggest fan. I know she is capable of anything (even giving me a heart attack), but I also know that she has struggle areas (I do too, you should see me try to do anything creative, but I digress). Two of these areas are finance and car maintenance.

I'm not saying I'm good at car maintenance, but she's not even good about taking it in for routine maintenance, so we're working on those things.

The last two times she's taken her car in, I've been hands off so she can learn the process. I told her I knew the first time in, we'd have a pretty big bill because it had been awhile, so I told her to put it on the credit card and we'd pay it as we can (don't tell r/personalfinance ....not my favorite thing to do, but she needs an operating vehicle for her commute and we didn't have the cash on hand)...anyway

She gets her estimate back and texts me that she's got it in hand.

Me: Ok, what's the damage (pun intended)

Her:...........it's bad

Me: *bracing for impact* what's the total, we can manage it.....

Her: $20K

Me: *gasping for air* WHAT?!

I can't get words out, I trust these guys, are they really trying to screw over my wife? There's no way

As I'm catching my breath....

Her: Oh, wait, sorry, that's $2K

Good God, woman! This is a huge difference, but I'm fairly relieved (perhaps it was a smart move on her part to make the $2k GOOD news).

Second round happened yesterday

We dropped her car off Monday night because her appointment was first thing on Tuesday morning...again, I have limited involvement as she's more than capable of handling her business

I work from home now, and she was off yesterday, so she came in my office and said she had her estimate...I had forgotten about the $20K incident at this point, so I wasn't braced at all

Me: Ok, what's the damage (I need new jokes because the pun was still intended)

Her: Ugh, I can't believe this!

Me: what's the deal?

Her: They need to change my engine!

Me: *gasping for air* WHAT?! How is that possible? Sure the car is getting older (2013 CR-V), but there's barely 100K miles on it, no evidence of major issues, surely they'd call if.....wait a minute, lemme see the estimate, plz"

Estimate: Change engine and cabin air filters

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Comments

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ramdathhd t1_je52v82 wrote

She’s a special one for sure !

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chuckdooley OP t1_je534qj wrote

We both laughed for a good 15 seconds after I explained what was going on. This is why I picked her! She keeps me young (if she doesn't kill me first!)

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ramdathhd t1_je53bgu wrote

Haha sounds like you guys are a good fit for eachother! If she doesn’t kill you first as you’ve said !

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chuckdooley OP t1_je53ug3 wrote

Bonus story, since you're a kind person

I watch a lot of true crime youtube...my wife is a passive viewer while she does whatever she's doing in the same room.

We had both been into the devil's lettuce, full disclosure, but a few months ago, I was just laying there watching a show and she looks over at me and says, completely straight faced, "I will end you"

I just looked at her, thinking, did I hear that right?

I guess she could see the bewilderment,

"what did I just say?"

"that you were going to end me......????"

"WHAT?!"

As though I could fill her in on it....hilarious moment we laugh about still

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RubALlamaDingDong t1_je5bv37 wrote

Better than "Change engine, cabin, filters."

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chuckdooley OP t1_je5cg3t wrote

Lol, if we're changing the engine and the cabin, we might as well get the filters while we're at it!

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brewksy t1_je5loll wrote

Yeah, imagine changing the engine and the cabin and then having poor filters. Just a waste. Lol

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chuckdooley OP t1_je5m4ra wrote

Ha, or even worse,

"Change Engine, Cabin, filters are looking great!"

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tralaraximpum t1_je63n98 wrote

That's why (we should always use parenthesis).
Estimate: Change ((engine and cabin) air filters)

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chuckdooley OP t1_je642qa wrote

I love parenthesis (though I’m not sure if that’s plural, singular or what have you)

That said, your comment would be perfect for J. Walter Weatherman

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