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DrDonTango t1_iu43v69 wrote

Plot-Twist: They just ran over a cyclist

70

gringostroh t1_iu445zr wrote

Its a Jeep not a Mustang.

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tuxkat1 t1_iu6h4m5 wrote

Mustangs run over crowds. Jeeps have the height to swallow cyclists

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ceagon t1_iu5xqan wrote

A worthy sacrifice. This shall appease our Lord, and keep death wobbles from us.

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axe1970 t1_iu4jexz wrote

"Hail the Omnissiah! He is the God in the Machine, the Source of All Knowledge."

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sp33dzer0 t1_iu59bxx wrote

Toll the Great Bell Once!

Pull the Lever forward to engage the

Piston and Pump...

Toll the Great Bell Twice!

With push of Button fire the Engine

And spark Turbine into life...

Toll the Great Bell Thrice!

Sing Praise to the

God of All Machines

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RustyCutlass t1_iu6ytnr wrote

All praise the ebb and flow of his mighty alternator!

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anal_a_fistula t1_iu4299m wrote

Its a Jeep thing, you wouldn't understand.

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St84t8 t1_iu5llde wrote

I've had a few jeep & Chrysler products... they're definitely praying for it not to shit the bed

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Jus10_90 t1_iu5ysl4 wrote

I had an 04 GC that had 130000ish and the engine blew. Currently (kinda) have an 05 GC 4x4 with an idling issue among others...yea...I'm currently getting ready to junk it.

Edited: 130000ish not 13000

3

HodgePodge04 t1_iu6og0l wrote

On that 05 with that idle issue check out the EGR valve, throttle position sensor, and crank sensor. I got an 05 with close to 300,000 miles on it and still going strong.

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Jd20001 t1_iu5s01a wrote

I had a late 90s Jeep with the straight 6 engine and every mechanic repeatedly told me how great that engine was.

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DragonsBane80 t1_iu5wcp0 wrote

You had the 4L then, which is a very dependable motor. It's gutless and leaks oil, but dependable

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Mono275 t1_iu6gx52 wrote

yep - my 2004 Grand Cherokee has that engine with over 200,000 miles on it. You know how I know it has oil? It's still dripping on my driveway.

3

Jd20001 t1_iu5zag1 wrote

Yup, gutless sums it up. Sold it with 170k miles and it was still running great though. I literally was just sick of driving it after 12 years ha

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giskardwasright t1_iu73qzt wrote

We had a early 90s with a straight 6 that made it over 400k and only died because we forgot to check the antifreeze mix before it sat for a winter and the block cracked. Then we had a mid 00s that had consrant electrical gremilns. Hated that second jeep. I'd say a little prayer each time I turned the key

1

OmegaX3 t1_iu5jae1 wrote

Please God let it start this time

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jaxnado t1_iu4ek5c wrote

No no no, THAT is not a Jeep, that is a Chrysler BRANDED as a Jeep

−1

j-random t1_iu5a6aq wrote

That was my first thought, "Bought a faux Jeep, probably hiding their faces in shame."

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Rokronroff t1_iu74z1s wrote

The brand is what makes it a Jeep, smart guy.

3

jaxnado t1_iu7jm02 wrote

No, a real Jeep is 4x4 off road worthy, smart guy

0

Ancguy t1_iu63d0u wrote

Isn't it all owned by Fiat these days?

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WonderWirm t1_iu424qy wrote

The Lord Jesus Chrysler.

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AtomicPickles92 t1_iu4giis wrote

It’s funny because Chrysler are owned by the same company. Also Jesus Crystler*

−2

Scorporal93 t1_iu48bys wrote

V8 pray to him! Shiny and chrome.

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The_DevilAdvocate t1_iu4gtt9 wrote

>The soul of the Machine God surrounds thee.
>
>The power of the Machine God invests thee.
>
>The hate of the Machine God drives thee.
>
>The Machine God endows thee with life.
>
>Live!

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Dorrono t1_iu42lws wrote

Either Warhammer 40k Mechanicus or Mad Max Warboys

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zgrizz t1_iu42026 wrote

There is no God but Internal Combustion, and 3.7L is his name.

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bk15dcx t1_iu45tq6 wrote

Heresy. The only real Jeep God is the 4.0 High Output.

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Viffer98 t1_iu4a022 wrote

Hail 3.6 Pentastar, full of grace...

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Sith_Apprentice t1_iu4h4si wrote

The Cursed One heeds your call. Beware the 3.6 and the spectre of dropped valve seats.

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Kaiaualad t1_iu48f7r wrote

Mecca is the dealership 6 blocks away. 72 new models await in the afterlife.....

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colnelburton t1_iu4iihm wrote

Venerate the machine spirits, lest they become displeased.

9

moneyscan t1_iu46gja wrote

catalytic converter is in the middle lads.

8

red5711 t1_iu4ld03 wrote

Just a quick plea to the Machine Spirit.

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Jeff6t9 t1_iu47yd4 wrote

That's the only thing that helps Dodge products.

3

Light_Beard t1_iu47z2u wrote

"It seems maaaaaad!"

"I KNOW! I KNOW! THROW MORE MONEY AT IT!"

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Old-Enthusiasm-8718 t1_iu48stb wrote

Not surprising, we've already achieved Warhammer level of dystopia in many aspects.

3

series_hybrid t1_iu50d43 wrote

I watched the Andrew Camarata channel for a few months. Very engaging (youtube)

He documents doing a lot of off-roading, and having bought a lot of used cars he fixed and then beat on for fun.

The Jeep was good for snowplowing because it was more powerful, but the Mitsubishi was more reliable offroad, partially because (according to him) the steering bits sit up higher and out f the way from damage.

3

xsvspd81 t1_iu53zk5 wrote

Well it is a Chrysler. They probably say a little prayer each time they get in and try to start it.

3

gregimusprime77 t1_iu5gt2w wrote

2 things.

1.Just Empty Every Pocket.

  1. The best part of owning a jeep is all the other cars you get to drive while yours is in the shop.

^ Have owned jeeps, can confirm.

3

30tpirks t1_iu43114 wrote

sacrificial trail mix ceremony.

2

ghostofdemonratspast t1_iu46gjo wrote

Do constuction or work on a car and dudes will just come down to talk and hang out and try to help.

2

ninjoid t1_iu49zay wrote

This triggers me because the engine on my jeep just died at only 58,000 miles. Had to sell it at only 40% of its value. Sad times.

2

balrus-balrogwalrus t1_iu4cegh wrote

no they are eating parasites attached to its belly. it's a symbiotic relationship

2

DaftVader t1_iu4le4c wrote

As I Jeep owner I can confirm this is a necessary daily ritual.

2

jaystonewee t1_iu4mygy wrote

They're in disbelief; it's 2wd!

2

erikwarm t1_iu4quu4 wrote

You wouldn’t understand, its a Jeep thing

2

Alert_Salt7048 t1_iu6vxh3 wrote

I’ve had to pray to the Jeep god several times.

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1

coyote-1 t1_iu4aqm4 wrote

A jeep dude cut me off this morning.

when I returned the favor at the next intersection, he got irate and plastered himself on my tail. So I drove exactly the speed limit; you shoulda seen the schmuck shrieking at me and honking his horn the whole way.

and just last year, a jeep dude caused an accident that wrecked my car and a couple other cars. I see jeep dudes routinely driving recklessly.

I'm not a fan of jeep dudes. Hope they spent a loooong time praying that day.

1

Kyanche t1_iu7fl6x wrote

I have a Jeep and I agree with you lol

1

hestermoffet t1_iu4atq5 wrote

I think they're called Jeephadis

1

oldgreen52 t1_iu4j157 wrote

They should have never stopped putting 4.0 in those

1

Kriegschwein t1_iu4l3ki wrote

"From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine"

Jeep boys mantra

1

DirtyProjector t1_iu52vrg wrote

Why is this funny?? It’s 3 dudes looking at an undercarriage

1

Forrest024 t1_iu5q8jz wrote

This is just the ritual to commune with the machine spirit.

1

Fleabagx35 t1_iu5x9nu wrote

The Engine God has gifted is with oil! Catch it, quick!

1

Decublala t1_iu60z7y wrote

Is that sound coming from under the engine? Let's see.

1

mkraven t1_iu613kg wrote

All hail the omnissiah. May the machine spirit be appeased.

1

One-Plane7101 t1_iu617wv wrote

By the looks of it, someone just went “off-roading” with a keep

1

JTown_lol t1_iu63o74 wrote

Are they trying to make the Jeep come?

1

georg3200 t1_iu67pqm wrote

All hail lord jeep all hail master of rough terrain an nasty weather where no worthy where not worthy to sit in your driver's seat 🙌🙌

1

capo4ever88 t1_iu68m5s wrote

And to the jeep brake holy ghost Anton Yelchin

1

HoldtheGMEstonk t1_iu6ecso wrote

Praying that the valve seat doesn’t drop out

1

dirtydeez2 t1_iu6gyq0 wrote

They are looking for the warranty

1

Vorpak t1_iu6hjhn wrote

If i know anything about that job it's fickle, uncaring and is going to cost a significant amount of someones pay check.

1

foggyjim t1_iu6hm7a wrote

I suspect they're looking for the tow hooks so they can move it.

1

Ok-Consideration1883 t1_iu6huf8 wrote

Should have formed a protective human chain around them so they can worship undisturbed

1

apolo79 t1_iu6iou6 wrote

Jeepers creepers

1

Sum3-yo t1_iu6nwp8 wrote

Ass up, head down.

1

NicksHats t1_iu76gtt wrote

Just replace that seized right-front caliper already... or is burnt on brake dust a trend amongst jeep owners?

1

rtmn01 t1_iu7armp wrote

Going to need more than a prayer to keep a Jeep running

1

WolfKingofRuss t1_iu7fyzv wrote

They don't look like they're apart of the tech priests of Mars.

Maybe they're some lowly menials or something?

1

BJoe1976 t1_iu7jjcg wrote

Just wait for the blood sacrifice to happen.

1

Duderpher t1_iu7paft wrote

Just

Empty

Every

Pocket

1

L3AFYB0I t1_iu8bdmf wrote

This was the moment they found the weakness of their flesh, they pledged their allegiance to the Omnissiah and in return they were granted a new form. From the strangled remains of their skin erupts magnificent glass and steel. Their bones turned to nothing more than a capsule for their improved bodily systems. Bone shatters, skin peels and flesh rots, but the cool embrace of steel never dies.

​

​

​

​

Good job chaps

1

JeshushHC t1_iu8szqv wrote

It’s the ole Cheech and Chong “Is that dog shit?”

1

closetcowboy t1_iu5o9du wrote

Do you remember when social distancing was a thing and everyone stayed a few feet apart. That seems so long ago.

0