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don_Juan_oven t1_iudifn8 wrote

You got ghosts in your lawn. You should do cocaine about it.

Source: I worked for a landscaping company for a couple months.

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Butch2_0 t1_iuedvur wrote

TIL: a cocaine a day keeps the ghosts away.

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LegendOfParasiteMana t1_iuev9h3 wrote

Was that a John mulaney bit? Being a doctor in the 1500, something about ghosts in your blood.

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don_Juan_oven t1_iuf0aac wrote

I know it from a meme; not sure if it's a Mulaney, but I hope so! I always enjoy his material

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espeero t1_iuft864 wrote

I did landscaping in high school. No coke, but lots of pot.

I got moved to foreman at 16 because I was one of the only guys who didn't steal gas, showed up on time, and hadn't lost my license following multiple duis. The bar was pretty low.

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DisastrousOne3950 t1_iuer8sw wrote

Doing a marijuana would be better.

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wookiex84 t1_iueu9s1 wrote

I learned Bradley Nowell it has to be two marijuanas.

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eltasador t1_iufg7x5 wrote

Bradley says two in the morning and two at night also two in the afternoon.

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saraphilipp t1_iufznw4 wrote

Don't forget to smoke two joints before you smoke two joints and then you smoke two more. Two in time of peace and two in time of war.

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DisastrousOne3950 t1_iueuu4a wrote

Well, one at least.

My days of cocaining are way past. Though the odds of my nosy-assed employers checking my piss for cocaine are way outstripped by their desire to find marijuanas in it.

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Viperbunny t1_iufp9cv wrote

A whole marijuana?! Are you mad man?

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Egotism t1_iudim8l wrote

It's a message saying it's been trying to reach you regarding your car's extended warranty.

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warhammercpt t1_iueeur9 wrote

When i see this i remember my old time science quote of Alexander Graham bell , Bec i changed that quote into this meme and i got a punishment for that 😂😂😂

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slamtheory t1_iudv6og wrote

Needs more green spray paint

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brocko33 t1_iudk7np wrote

It's some form of Elvish. I can't read it.

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Pushpin06 t1_iudkxax wrote

Have you tried consulting your eldritch overlord on the matter?

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rangeo t1_iudl6u9 wrote

It's upside down

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monhosti t1_iudg1hq wrote

Dirtscript?

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OG-Bluntman t1_iuekvt3 wrote

Wait, do you think that Sanskrit is “Sandscript”?

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monhosti t1_iuimb73 wrote

It's a play on words not sn addition to Websters.

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_Silver_Engineer_ t1_iudhlx3 wrote

Holy Sonnets: Death, be not proud

BY JOHN DONNE 1633

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow

Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee do go,

Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.

Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,

And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well

And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

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tewnewt t1_iue9zvc wrote

Turing pattern.

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graydave OP t1_iug10c6 wrote

Well by George it is. I hadn't heard of that.

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TirayShell t1_iuetjot wrote

Those are Turing patterns.

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MicFrosty t1_iudvlmr wrote

Joking aside. Mine does this every year when going dormant too!

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Bitchener t1_iueaxsa wrote

It can only be read by the light of a full Durin’s moon.

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brihamedit t1_iuepvu8 wrote

Is it worms underneath eating the roots or making tunnels? Or fungus?

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Nimyron t1_iuf12v3 wrote

The worm king eats roots and is often much longer than people expect.

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Giorgosmp4-20 t1_iufejv1 wrote

It is a bit blurry but I think it reads:

"Dave, it's the grass. You've betrayed me, Dave. And soon you'll pay for this, Dave"

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fubbyloofer69 t1_iudqmz0 wrote

God gave me instructions on how to live my life.....

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0h311 t1_iue7o5w wrote

In infested with worms

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joedirte70 t1_iue9kcj wrote

It's like Shrek's piss

...Taste the BEAST

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aliefosho t1_iuenqw7 wrote

Did you recently have someone come treat it (spray it) for winter feed or whatever. That usually makes a pattern like that.

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blackgaletiger t1_iueqzdy wrote

Pretty simple. Its about your cars extended warranty

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OTHERPPLSMAGE t1_iuetnqy wrote

It's the mole men and there left over fecal matter.

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xsociate23 t1_iueukfe wrote

Your gardener must moonlight as a doctor.

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mrmitchs t1_iuf0y7c wrote

The green spots are where the bodies are buried.

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Phr333k t1_iuf3kka wrote

Send nudes

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payfrit t1_iuf6e3z wrote

"the gophers have won"

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andchap t1_iuf7hi7 wrote

It’s saying you missed a spot

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LoggedInJustForY0u t1_iufbvmm wrote

You just need to add an octave or two to your Perlin noise function.

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speedyrev t1_iufi8th wrote

"Feed me Seymour"

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Pithyperson t1_iufjul5 wrote

So long, and thanks for all the fish fertilizer.

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LibidinousIntent t1_iufmnj8 wrote

"You should've called the septic tank guy weeks agooooooooo..."

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OmegaDawn_ t1_iudz997 wrote

Water pssst water please is what it’s saying

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istkss t1_iue62bl wrote

It says , hey john fook your lawn mower

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corbanir t1_iuefru0 wrote

It says water me in brail

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robertscomedydotmp4 t1_iufyln7 wrote

i know what it says. it says the following: dGhlIGZpdG5lc3MgZ3JhbSBwYWNlciB0ZXN0IGlzIGEgbXVsdGkgYWVyb2JpYyBjYXBhY2l0eSBsZXZlbCB0ZXN0LCB0aGF0IHByb2dyZXNzaXZlbHkgZ2V0cyBtb3JlIGRpZmZpY3VsdCBhcyBpdCBjb250aW51ZXMuIHdlIHdpbGwgc3RhcnQgd2l0aCB0aGUgMjAgbWlsZSBydW4uIHJlYWR5PyBzZXQ/IGdvIQ==

put that through a base 64 translator.

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graydave OP t1_iug1ujz wrote

I was trying to read it in EBCDIC instead of ASCII! Noob mistake.

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splifingate t1_iufzvgi wrote

zoysia/bermuda/etc. sometimes just does that towards Winter

[https://www.paceturf.org/gallery/detail/porus-convection-dormancy-on-zoysia](porus convection dormancy)

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GMANTRONX t1_iug1npv wrote

*Takes out Amharic to English Translator*
It is Autumn
It is also the Witching Season. Time to ride your broom and twerk upside down as you pass over the moon.

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graydave OP t1_iug2786 wrote

That hurt my back just reading it.

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Get-ya-sum t1_iug71ps wrote

The moles are here again and they are on cocaine

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No-Highlight-4571 t1_iug8jzn wrote

I thought that was Tyler the creator's old hair. Iykyk

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bagleface t1_iug9tdr wrote

Look like help me I'm fucked !

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xtrasmolpp t1_iugc7lx wrote

Your lawn speaks enchanting table

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prince_corwin t1_iugfk2g wrote

its says "Your neighbor pees on me at night"

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treereenee t1_iugim7r wrote

I gotta gopher some cigarettes

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JayneDoe6000 t1_iugkd1i wrote

Warm season lawn after first frost.

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ludeawakening89 t1_iugnu3y wrote

Yeah, you have a problem when your grass is speaking in runes.

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r7anubis t1_iuh2mnc wrote

This looks similar to the markings left on the ground when Thor uses the Bifrost

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RamboCambo_05 t1_iuhqii8 wrote

It's telling you that it's dying a little bit

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