Comments
Cth43 OP t1_j2esmo8 wrote
This is what I am looking for
rvarjg t1_j2f60rg wrote
Don’t listen to that guy. He couldn’t find his ass with both hands.
He’s a few fries short of a happy meal. A sandwich short of a picnic.
He ain’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. Dumb as a bag of hair.
How am I doing? I’m as fine as frog hair.
He’s getting too big for his britches.
That guy will hold onto a nickel so tight, he’ll make the Buffalo burp.
Carlos-In-Charge t1_j2ebecn wrote
I’d really like to help you, but this is something you need to earn for yourself. You just have to get your ducks in a row, roll up your sleeves, use a little elbow grease, and put your nose to the grindstone. All while pulling yourself up by your boot straps.
omen-schmomen t1_j2ed1vw wrote
He's got Zachary disease. Looks Zachary like a monkeys ass.
USMCWrangler t1_j2ee85l wrote
You can sort the fly shit from the pepper but it doesn’t change anything.
Personal_Flow2994 t1_j2ehica wrote
If brains were dynamite they wouldn't have enough to blow their nose
mezaway t1_j2ec1nf wrote
Sharp as a ball
Too stupid to hit the floor with his hat
tim310rd t1_j2ex1yq wrote
Locked up tighter than a nuns knickers
It's so dry the trees are bribing the dogs
Gave it a lick and a promise (they did a poor job)
Amputate your timber (go away)
Beat the devil around the stump (to avoid responsibility)
Brick in his hat (he's drunk)
Didn't have a tail feather left (being broke)
Hard row to hoe (tough job)
luna1108 t1_j2el9bv wrote
The bees don’t waste time explaining to flies that honey taste better than shit.
hamster-cow t1_j2evipd wrote
-He couldn’t fight his way out of a wet paper bag. (Alternately, he couldn’t piss his way out of a paper bag. ) -About as useful as tap shoes on a mule. -Couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel. -About as helpful as a screen door in a snowstorm.
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leftyblack t1_j2efnxn wrote
Must be dead from the neck up
Could bring a tear to a glass eye
You look finer than a new set of snow tires
[deleted] t1_j2ekiif wrote
[removed]
bitsybear1727 t1_j2equxh wrote
"Meaner than a sore-tailed cat"
"I told you to leave it alone, that's what you get for messing with it." - could be anything from an unsafe thing to climb to a dog or animal lol, if you were told and did it anyway, it's your own fault.
That-Grape-5491 t1_j2fj0qj wrote
Meaner than cat dirt
Inabind4U t1_j2f9s4x wrote
Ya got two ears and 1 mouth...maybe talk less and listen more!
Delphina34 t1_j2fayoz wrote
He’s not the brightest knife in the shed
REVSWANS t1_j2fdvg8 wrote
That guy is so shady, he'll steal your chimney and come back later for the smoke.
createusernametmrw t1_j2ftipq wrote
“Hard as a brick bat.”
Soz3r t1_j2eautd wrote
get over yourself
zakolo46 t1_j2feh8m wrote
“That’s as wrong as two boys kissing”
fishead62 t1_j2ebg4y wrote
You’ve come to the right place: an old Texan. I’ll leave it to you make it sfw
I’ll come back if I remember more.