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True-Sheepherder-625 t1_j1wbx7v wrote

that’s sack religious

600

AFaceForRadio_20 t1_j1wiy9m wrote

I don’t want to imagine a religion dedicated to The Lord’s testes

58

portmanfaux t1_j1wvatt wrote

The New Testement

83

davisyoung t1_j1xzew6 wrote

If you compare the Old Testament with the New Testement, you’ll find a vas deferens.

38

SFWxMadHatter t1_j1xh6se wrote

Well the current is has a lot.of penis devotion with all those big steeples so I imagine it would just be lots of domes?

2

whsftbldad t1_j1wh0kd wrote

This...this deserves WAY more upvotes than it has

7

snafubar_buffet t1_j1vlcz9 wrote

Aww. Little baby jizzus

362

Offgridiot t1_j1vxdjp wrote

Should have a condom on it (for immaculate contraception)

39

SixxDet t1_j1vmfe8 wrote

Don’t forget to swaddle the balls.

11

SushiKittyCat t1_j1w32vn wrote

I really want to see their reaction when they go to put the nativity sceane away, you need to post an update like a screenshot of the text you'll receive off your parents lol

113

heatherjoy82 t1_j1xwygs wrote

I also need to know the reaction. I'd get in so much trouble for this. And I'm 40 years old.

7

lilSebastionFan24 t1_j1vmpyu wrote

Ready for the res-erection. 🙏

64

hotlavatube t1_j1w2xp3 wrote

Even better, his second coming!

22

Snip3 t1_j1xp0fn wrote

Apparently dude's got a crazy long refractory period

1

SlavOnfredski t1_j1vtn0m wrote

although not mentioned in the Bible, when Jesus was young, apparently he was a little dick.

41

DancingMood-Critical t1_j1z56v7 wrote

Jesus killed a kid for bumping into him. He also struck the parents blind for asking Jesus' parents to make him stop killing other kids that offended him (Infancy Gospel of Thomas).

No wonder why the church ripped off these texts from the bible lol.

1

NOT000 t1_j1w7pjq wrote

i had a similar ongoing prank with wifey

we used this tiny novelty pencil topper penis

i'd put it in with her vitamins

she would put it in my cereal...

38

stiletto929 t1_j1wcnmf wrote

All fun and games until somebody chokes on it. ;)

29

stiletto929 t1_j1wcs0h wrote

You are going to hell. And I am right here with you for that trip, cause this is hilarious.

7

webgruntzed t1_j1wt0xz wrote

Maybe they know. I mean, I'd be ok with it. The Big Guy must love dicks, he sure made a lot of them.

3

Luiz_Fell t1_j1x5zth wrote

Wtf? That's a fridge magnet???

2

Finsceal OP t1_j1y7jpv wrote

Lots of tourist destinations in Europe sell novelty fridge magnets like this, it came from Amsterdam

3

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1

Macragge t1_j1wgivm wrote

Dick move, OP.

1

BizzyM t1_j1wysen wrote

Jesus: what a dick.

1

BerriesAndMe t1_j1wywvr wrote

For a worrisome second I thought you were trying to get an ant invasion going or something because I took the filthy too literal.

But those are clean filthy magnets

1

niceabear t1_j1x2nnk wrote

I like you guys. You’re fun.

1

MasterFubar t1_j1x9nvk wrote

Theme music: The Little Drummer Boy. He will beat some rhythm in that wood.

1

stent00 t1_j1xgj81 wrote

Hmm that angel is humping that sheep....bahhh

1

Due_Egg_6497 t1_j1xlhva wrote

It appears to be circumcised!

1

LivingInPugtopia t1_j1xp4d8 wrote

I think putting a tiny penis in a tiny manger is a fairly certain trip to Hell. Also, that's hilarious.

1

overtoke t1_j1xu23z wrote

Away in a manger

No crib for a bed

The little Lord Jesus

Laid down His sweet head

1

Genetics t1_j1y0h4f wrote

This is great! My parents and siblings have a game where we steal camels from each other’s nativity scenes when we visit each other. I got my kids in on it and they ransomed one of my mom’s camels for brownies a few days ago.

1

AzureDreamer t1_j1y2wzr wrote

Wow a religious family with a sense of humor shocked pikachu

1

Finsceal OP t1_j1y78k5 wrote

They're not particularly religious, it's just a decoration.

1

AzureDreamer t1_j1y7uw0 wrote

Fair enough I associate nativity scenes with a more religious household but that doesn't necessarily have to be the case.

1

Finsceal OP t1_j1y8j2h wrote

Nah, she just wanted to knit some ornaments. They're not even Catholics

1

VeterinarianThese951 t1_j1ypgmb wrote

If she gave birth to that, can she still be called a virgin?

1

ZookeepergameHead145 t1_j1z90l3 wrote

Is Mary breastfeeding a cat? She looks awfully happy with cat teeth ripping her breast to shreds.

1

owlincoup t1_j1zu2hr wrote

I mean, it's not that bad. Having Mary nurse a cat could be pretty controversial I guess.

1

b_kiss26 t1_j1xbfzh wrote

The dick in a manger is funny but that Nativity Set is terrifying lol

0

THMSSNGLNK t1_j1xw82o wrote

Ahahahahaha! Over the top! Awesomesauce! Ahahahahaha

0

idiot9991 t1_j1vqzo8 wrote

That's too good.

−1

Smudge_09 t1_j1vue9t wrote

Look at the cock on the Jesus

−1

So_be t1_j1x1a19 wrote

Talk about being “hung” on the cross

1

UndercoverFBIAgent9 t1_j1x4zxh wrote

The three wise men brought him myrrh, frankincense, and a back brace for carrying around that giant dong.

3

azvitesse t1_j1xvgbg wrote

This is sooo irreverent. I love it!

2

So_be t1_j20fmsa wrote

I came up organically... Have to admit I stole it from a movie called "Saved!" The line still gets me but its never relevant.

2

richardec t1_j1x5mye wrote

Baby Jesus just after the bris. It's a bit swollen.

−1

whsftbldad t1_j1wgu38 wrote

Your dedication to the game is commendable. Have you written a book to teach us your ways?

−3

D-redditAvenger t1_j1wphsj wrote

Don't stand to close to her when it rains.

−3

IamLuann t1_j1vpdak wrote

I hope there are other cute magnets, because this has become a really good.

−7

MSGRiley t1_j1vl70j wrote

Hide the penis is not your game, it's been around a while.

−18

Josette22 t1_j1w9c73 wrote

That's not funny. Woe to you. :-l

−27

Finsceal OP t1_j1whkp0 wrote

You're offended, which I'm guessing means you're religious.

I'm sorry for offending you.

Having said that, you wished 'woe' upon me. Hoping that something bad happens your fellow man isn't particularly christian, is it?

15

Josette22 t1_j1wiq7d wrote

The only reason I said "Woe to you" is that you'll see when Jesus Christ returns. I only use that phrase when I encounter outright Blasphemy.

−22

The_Countess t1_j1wnwf3 wrote

>when Jesus Christ returns.

You guys have been saying that for 2000 years now. Any report on his progress?

7

Finsceal OP t1_j1y83tn wrote

I wish you no ill will friend, and I certainly don't relish the day that you may or may not get judged by a deity, but it sounds like I'm a better person than you

1