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CrowdCon-troll t1_iu9f9v3 wrote

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

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HowesLife t1_iu9heq8 wrote

Very good art! Unfortunately you have drawn Vaporeon art on the internet, so youll get the Vaporeon breeding copypasta

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under_the_c t1_iu9uzmu wrote

Op is going to learn some terrible reddit lore on this day.

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S0meRandomN00B t1_iu9ye53 wrote

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokémon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.

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Stetson007 t1_iuao243 wrote

Replying to Neevee_19 (#316,951)

If it makes you feel better, this is the tame version. There's another version that goes on for like twice as long because it starts talking about male vaporeon too.

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790ecd38 t1_iub3ing wrote

小伙伴们，你们知道吗，就男性和女性宝可梦的繁殖而言，Vaporeon 是最适合人类的宝可梦吗？它们不仅属于主要由哺乳动物组成的田间蛋群，Vaporeon 的平均身高为 3 英寸 03 英尺，重 63.9 磅，这意味着它们足够大，可以处理人类的鸡巴，而且它们的底座令人印象深刻生命值的统计数据和酸性盔甲的使用权，你可以粗暴地使用一个。由于它们主要以水为基础的生物学，毫无疑问，在我看来，一个被唤醒的 Vaporeon 会非常潮湿，如此潮湿以至于你可以轻松地与一个人发生性关系几个小时而不会感到疼痛。他们还可以学习“吸引”、“娃娃眼”、“迷人”、“魅力”和“尾巴鞭子”等动作，以及没有毛皮来隐藏乳头，因此很容易让你有心情。凭借他们的吸水和补水能力，他们可以通过足够的水轻松从疲劳中恢复。没有其他神奇宝贝能接近这种兼容性。另外，有趣的是，如果你拉得足够多，你可以让你的 Vaporeon 变白。 Vaporeon 从字面上看是为人类鸡巴建造的。不虔诚的防御统计+高血量池+酸性盔甲意味着它可以一整天都在公鸡，各种形状和大小，仍然会来更多

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screwIRS t1_iucaem6 wrote

Replying to Stetson007 (#324,719)

Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show.

Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.

And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.

There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right!

But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck!

Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.

Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!

I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite but, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.

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