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trackdaybruh t1_iw964yp wrote

Ah, that's totally a man who knew he was the only one in the shop and freaked out when he felt a tap in his back


Solid_Snark t1_iw9xy5k wrote

Literally how 90% of “haunted” places stories begin: ”You don’t understand! I was alone, wrapping up the job when someone grabbed my shirt, I turned around and no one was there!”


IFuckingHateAllergy t1_iwa6381 wrote

The remaining 10% is real.


SamuraiSuplex t1_iwa8kzy wrote

The other 10% is someone pulling pranks. There are no real hauntings 😂


nav17 t1_iwam7j1 wrote

That's exactly what a ghost would say!


eGregiousLee t1_iwarg3q wrote

I feel like that’s the next Ghostbusters movie right there. Told from the ghosts’ point of view. Like Men In Black only instead of aliens hiding in plain sight it’s ghosts. They have a bureau that prevents humans from capturing them. Like spies.


Gaothaire t1_iwasb5g wrote

If you went to a person living on the equator a couple centuries ago and told them that there was a land perpetually covered in snow and ice, they never would have believed it because it didn't exist in their experience. Just because your cultural framework is too rigid to allow for hauntings doesn't mean they don't exist.

Something as simple as Jungian psychotherapy allows you to interface with the ghosts of your ancestral trauma in a way Western reductionist materialists wouldn't believe, just because they never took the time to explore it, they prefer to let their mind be an unknowable black box.


Febra0001 t1_iwatr3b wrote

“Cultural Framework” lmao

Remind me when science discovers ghosts. Until then, no thanks


moonra_zk t1_iwavdff wrote

Keep that nonsense in that stoner philosophy sub, please.


Affectionate-Pea282B t1_iwavgxd wrote

Seek help


Gaothaire t1_iwccmig wrote

You don't believe in psychotherapy, so what healing modality would you suggest for help?


Affectionate-Pea282B t1_iwccrku wrote

The fuck are you talking about you idiot


Gaothaire t1_iwdfy04 wrote

Therapeutically, naming parts of your interior dialogue as a way to disidentify them from your Self is explicit praxis.

You told me to seek help, but clearly you don't believe in something so woo as therapy, so I'm asking what in your personal opinion would be a good path forward. Obviously, you live a largely unexamined life, so I don't expect you to have any useful input, but thought you might say something interesting. My mistake.


Affectionate-Pea282B t1_iwdxvuj wrote

Where the fuck did you pull I “clearly don’t believe in therapy” out of? I have a therapist myself you fucking idiot


Gaothaire t1_iwfluba wrote

Yeah, I don't think it's working, you seem really stressed. Maybe you should look into another healing modality, there's great work being done in somatics, using your body to release traumas and live a happier life

My initial comment pointed to therapy, and you told me to "seek help" (your words). If I'm seeking help for insights from psychotherapy, you obviously don't think those insights are valid. Or you're just too ignorant to understand what you're saying, which seems likely.


[deleted] t1_iwg1ksz wrote



rathat t1_iwato6s wrote

You’d be surprised how many people truly think they had an experience with a ghost. Like they never even considered any other explanation. I’d more more likely to believe some alien came down from space to fuck with me specifically before I’d believe it was a ghost.


Zomburai t1_iwb3jw7 wrote

I had a coworker whose big proof the resort house she stayed in was haunted was that the towel she'd hung on the chair fell off.

Apparently ghosts were a simpler explanation than gravity


BMonad t1_iwbz83z wrote

Also, what a lame ghost. It can interact with physical objects in this world, and all it chooses to do is knock a towel off a chair? Step your ghost game up.


DamnAutocorrection t1_iwdi1iu wrote

So many people I know in real life who have paranormal experiences all occur when they were in bed getting ready to sleep.

I think 90% of ghost stories can be explained by sleep paralysis, shit feel incredibly real


rathat t1_iwebszh wrote

YES! I’ve said it before on Reddit too, sleep paralysis is also the explanation for alien abduction stories. I have had sleep paralysis myself, and it’s exactly like people describe alien abductions. I know I used aliens coming to earth as an example of something more likely to happen than ghosts, but its second to ghosts lol, I love the idea of aliens, but it’s never really aliens.


Rokketeer t1_iwagi1w wrote

The 10% is what matters so that the producers can say it’s based on a real story


TravelinDan88 t1_iwd6fno wrote

People can form their own opinions of Ghost Adventures but there have been a few times that Zak, Aaron, or someone else on the crew gets the everloving shit scared out of them by dangling wires, automatic air fresheners, etc. It's hilarious.


Apocrisiary t1_iw99bna wrote

Or, have workshop buddies that love pranks.

Source: worked with a bunch of them as an industrial tech. Worst one was coming in at 5:30 in tje morning, then getting hosed with the fire hose....I am NOT a morning person.


BeckyDaTechie t1_iwfa740 wrote

My dad had a coworker-- 3 or 4 guys all shared the same office but had different departments-- who would walk in every morning an absolute ass to everyone else about being messy, loud, etc. while changing from his driving shoes to his safety boots. It wasn't anything disgusting, just maybe papers on their desks, snowy boots by the door, etc. The guy was just a neat freak and tried to make everyone else in the office the same way. (Yeah, 'cuz that's gonna work. It was damn steel mill.)

So one morning my father stuck a jelly filled doughnut in the toe of the guy's boot before he got into the office. Dude didn't even get a minute to complain, just sat down, grabbed that boot, jammed his foot (ha!) down inside and when jelly shot out of the boot and up his pants leg, he took off the boot and his socks, put his street shoes back on, turned around and went home.

Dude checked his boots before he put them on from then on.


Apocrisiary t1_iwg9th9 wrote

Hahaha, oh yeah, some deserve it and a bit more malicious.

I was mad as all hell for like 10 min, as I mentioned, not a morning person. But once I got on some dry clothes, and a cup of coffee it was all good again and we laughed about it.

We had a boss that was a royal dick, once when he for the millionth time did something to piss us all of, we lifted his car on top of a shipping container. We had 90T forklifts, and only us on the floor had the license. No idea how he got it down, cuz we went home. But it was gone the next day and we never heard anything.


tall__guy t1_iwaivet wrote

Looks like the tube started crawling up his back like a snake. Or an alien tentacle. Really can’t be too careful with those things…


Vagicles t1_iwam69x wrote

RAT. This man thought a rat was running up his back.


awoeoc t1_iwawchj wrote

Creepiest thing ever was I was once hiking solo uphill in the fall and I could hear footsteps behind me in the leaves. I turn back and nothing.

I keep walking for a bit and I hear it, it's following me, but nothing every time I turned around. I start speeding up, it's uphill so I can't really run but my heart was racing and I was terrified.

After a few more steps I realized as I stepped on fallen tree branches under the leaves, the other end of the branch behind me would "lift" so I'd hear the leaves behind me go up. It was me, it was my own footsteps.


Lonelysock2 t1_iwayujh wrote

Yeah my friend heard noises while hiking in the woods. It was a bear, tracking them.

(But in Europe so I think they're less attacky?)


hazeleyedwolff t1_iwbaq9j wrote

The European ones are less attacky b/c they don't have the right to bear arms.


spider-bro t1_iwbrsu6 wrote

But if they somehow manage to get up on their hind legs, watch out!


C0PPERM0NK t1_iw8w1xi wrote

Totally hosed himself 🤣


dubcatz6969 t1_iwahaxu wrote


netsrak t1_iwakb8u wrote

What is this from?


dubcatz6969 t1_iwakmhh wrote

A Night at the Roxbury. Movie based on a SNL skit. Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan. 10/10 Emilio’s

Edit: fuck, Superstar with Molly Shannon is also based on a SNL skit too huh?

Edit 2: oh yeah there’s a lot I forgot about. The Blues brothers, the ladies man, Wayne’s world, Coneheads. Good ol days


turgid_wang t1_iwamzsh wrote

Big fucking thanks cavemen ancestors who survived long enough to reproduce!


zamfire t1_iwbuffs wrote

We got hosed Tommy, we got hosed


Trickery1688 t1_iw99vwv wrote

Same shit happened to me riding my bike. My hoodie drawstring jumped up hitting a bump and tickled my neck, and I thought it was a spider, nearly wiped out.

Laughed my ass off for the next 5 minutes riding at how stupid I was.


aubiquitoususername t1_iwallp4 wrote

Yyoooo, let me tell you. I never knew my butt-cheeks could hold me on my motorcycle until I noticed a spider crawling across my visor. At 60mph. At it wasn’t getting blown away. Which means it was inside thE HelMeTTttargghhglbargl!!


Loafman15 t1_iwamx49 wrote

I’d throw myself into a tree just to make sure the spider died at that point


Roggvir t1_iwb5w2m wrote

A spider will survive speedy crashes better than you would due to low weight.


Loafman15 t1_iwb6ngd wrote

Not if my entire body weight gets thrown against it at mach jesus


RixirF t1_iwasekd wrote

That last realization would've made me shit my pants.

It would take the spider from a nuisance and "huh, dude's hanging on, crazy" to what you just described--the ramblings of a man having a cerebral occlusion as he realizes the spider is inside.


Omegamanthethird t1_iwanj4o wrote

There was a brown orb weaver (fairly large spider) crawling on me while I was driving. I panicked for a few seconds and then had to remind myself that it may be bigger than a half dollar, but it's not actually dangerous. Crashing however, is dangerous.

I couldn't find where it went when I pulled over to get it out of my car.


TheClayroo t1_iw97b13 wrote

A1 fight response. I've watched a dozen times in a row. I'm fucking dying laughing thinking about it happening to me and shitting myself.


SquirrelAkl t1_iwazswz wrote

Judging by the camera shaking the person recording the CCTV footage with their phone was laughing pretty hard too.


YellowOnline t1_iw904cv wrote

Is he on the ground in pain or laughing at himself?


BurtanTae t1_iwc0141 wrote

Pain will catch up with adrenaline later...


Chapman79 t1_iw9f60q wrote

This is pure gold. Something I would do.


JohnCrichtonsCousin t1_iw8u7bg wrote

Must have snakes where he is.


DragoonXNucleon t1_iw99el3 wrote

Or this is late at night in a creepy warehouse and he's the only person he expects to be there. I know when I'm at the office late I'll be good until I get the creeps and then its over... I just am constantly looking around while at my desk. Time to go home.


JohnCrichtonsCousin t1_iw9a909 wrote

I thought snake because of the way he tried to grab it or whack it away, like he felt it was a tube thing and still went to push it away. Ehh. Likely was just surprising but it looks like someone wrangling a snake.


PermutationMatrix t1_iwavwys wrote

You hear an odd noise. You imagine what it is. You notice everything looks different. Everything is too quiet. Your subconscious conjures up thoughts of monsters, ghosts, robbers, killer clowns, evil cleaning ladies...

I've been at a restaurant late at night doing deep cleaning 4am before and there was a food truck delivery, they drop it off and lock up, I didn't hear them because I had my Bluetooth in and he scared the living Christ out of me.


joxmaskin t1_iwb077b wrote

> I know when I'm at the office late I'll be good until I get the creeps and then its over...

This is an interesting and familiar phenomenon. It’s all calm and good until suddenly you’re spooked and paranoid, and it’s so hard to shake it after that. I wonder what all factors into this. I’m guessing sleepy brain plays a big role here, feeling all groggy and vulnerable and then hyper-reacting to random stuff.


Organic-Jelly7782 t1_iwawth4 wrote

Yep, definitely had that alone in a creepy warehouse times and every noise or your own shadow will turn your head.


razzraziel t1_iwal85i wrote

not late night, early in the morning. it is 06:15 or something in the footage.


kakosadazutakrava t1_iwarlz1 wrote

🤣 recovered memory from working restaurants and my key card was on my belt. Got stuck in a chair, so after taking a table's order and walking away, it suddenly released and slapped my ass with a zing. I gasped and flipped around, positive it was a flirty dude at the table. His buddies saw it all and lost their shit as the poor guy stared at me, clueless. Took a moment for them to explain to me but in the end we were all crying from the laughs. Was a really convincing smack.


legolee t1_iwb5p93 wrote

They are laughing at the fact that they can get away with a story like that!


EEVVEERRYYOONNEE t1_iwbixsp wrote

We took our dogs to a pub beer garden a couple of years ago. They were under the table and I gave them a little whistle to get their attention.

The waitress, who happened to be passing at the time, gave the group of lads at the next table a proper bollocking.

She thought they were whistling her for service until I explained what had happened.


Nurse_Neurotic t1_iw9xehn wrote

Swiggity swooigty I’m coming for that booty.


0xB0BAFE77 t1_iwa0f49 wrote

This is getting a criminally low amount of upvotes.
I love how he laughs it off when he realizes what happens.


hamgar t1_iw9ybb9 wrote

“Oh Roy, you got yourself again!”


[deleted] t1_iw9b4ta wrote



rezdor t1_iwaibs1 wrote

So no more ass pennies, u/AssPennies? Only taking credit cards now?


startnowstop t1_iwalhqi wrote

Did you just make a username with a fake post history just to make a reference to the same username 6 hrs later???


Krimsonide t1_iw9w3zs wrote

I would have broken into the office and deleted the footage so fast haha


Brownies91 t1_iw9n3dd wrote



CM_Bison t1_iw9mhj3 wrote

"AHHH! THAT'S MY BUTT!"! swings


srbowler300 t1_iwalocn wrote

It does not matter how many times you watch this - you will crack up.


APlannedBadIdea t1_iwahyzc wrote

That's a stunning example of the evolutionary "snake jump" counter-defense. It's how we made it this far as a species.


CoddiwomplingRandall t1_iwahb9f wrote

Chef Robert Irvine working for discount tire? Some new food network reality show?


turgid_wang t1_iwamxfj wrote

I would be scared and scarred


lumpthefoff t1_iwaq41u wrote

That happened to me walking in the forest and so thought I felt a snake or something, it was just the string on my jacket hood.


Bobafetacheeses t1_iwaqzr8 wrote

This dude is working a night shift alone and just pooped his pants.


Krispies827 t1_iwauaws wrote

I bet it would be r/contagiouslaughter if there was sound


unclerevv t1_iwaweyd wrote

You know he's laughing his ass off as soon as he realized what happened. At least I'd be laughing.


Chiluzzar t1_iwawzwg wrote

Hey the hose was just happy to see him that's all


sunlightmarc t1_iwayj6l wrote

Ancient survival instincts are still kickin in 21st century


AtomicEdge t1_iwb1yh3 wrote

My headphones were falling out of my pocket and I was wearing shorts. Tickled the back of my leg and I kept up in the air like a startled cat!


kitkatbay t1_iwbkhb6 wrote

Poor dude, I would freak out if something suddenly slithered up between my cheeks too


Madjack66 t1_iwbljtp wrote

I hope he doesn't see a cucumber nearby unexpectedly. It would end him.


thefartographer t1_iwbra5j wrote

Laugh all you want, but that's the way all of us think we'll react in a horror movie, but we'll actually freeze up, ignore it, or go inspect like an idiot. Did a hose freak him out? Sure. But that man is gonna survive while your face is slowly peeled off.


umijuvariel t1_iwbzfaa wrote

He met Moses's little known brother, Hoses.


grumpijela t1_iwcdpgh wrote

So recently, I was studying and I put ear plugs in when doing so. My spouse wasn’t at home and it was just me and our two cats. I went to go do laundry and while I was kneeling on the ground putting things in the washer, one of our cats jumped onto my back (if I wasn’t wearing ear plugs totally in my own world I would have heard her approach), but for a brief second it felt like someone put their hand on my back and I fucking screamed and sprang around ready to die probably, and scared the shit out of our cat in return who leaped straight into the air, and then landed on my fucking face and I got a big scratch over my lip. Yea, I know how this dude feels


onebullion t1_iwd1cgo wrote

The human equivalent to a cat and a cucumber.


TheOrigamiGuru t1_iwdb1ho wrote

His laugh at the end though was so genuine :D :D


js0uthh t1_iw9iqw0 wrote

He's ready.


Rampage_900 t1_iwa6ur8 wrote

Tried creeping up through his back door 🚪 😂


Necessary_Bad_4378 t1_iwam285 wrote

How it feels when a hair slides down your back and you were expecting it.haha


BiigDaddyDellta t1_iwansvf wrote

I wish i knew how to set this to scary violin, lol.


sTrekker11 t1_iwaovvn wrote

That guy did something to someone and is expecting to get murdered from behind. Too jumpy to be innocent.


Disastrous_Proposal t1_iward8u wrote

I was playing an old game The division 2, haven’t played it in over a year. Was running around and my damn shadow scared me, I thought I was alone.


XTornado t1_iwatnb6 wrote

"I swear he had a gun on my back"


LadyPundit t1_iwaurdz wrote

Haha I'm dead. ☠️


Breitepal t1_iwb8p1g wrote

gun, snake, monster's tentacles.. but this guy is already too nervous !


Gourounaki t1_iwba18v wrote

Wow, his legs flailed about as if independent from his body!


User42wp t1_iwbbmpy wrote

This guy's been to prison


arcticcamel t1_iwbgsgp wrote

That guy can turn around fast


mikkokilla t1_iwbiwyq wrote

Absolutely no situational awareness whatsoever...


Lovethrust2112 t1_iwc2nft wrote

It's flight of Fight
He Choose to Fight


thecaptron t1_iwcaopj wrote

That’s how I react when I’m outside and my shirt tag lightly brushes my neck…


alexaz92 t1_iwce1ly wrote

would have been funnier if he stopped and put his hands in the air 🙌


Pomoa t1_iwcnusb wrote

That's how ghost stories are born.


DecentLlama t1_iwcvli4 wrote

Reminds me of when dogs or attacks attack their own tails


craz1000 t1_iwcx4or wrote

Is he laughing at himself?


Muted_End_1450 t1_iwaew92 wrote

This makes ppl believe in ghosts. "...And then I turned around, but it was no one there. How do you explain that?"


Dominaremortis t1_iwao8in wrote

That's a man that lives his life in fear


shootemupy2k t1_iwaow9c wrote

Dude has some trauma he’s working through.


Dreadkeeper t1_iwc13el wrote

How gay are you?: this meme


kkramar t1_iwc7v6f wrote

For a second there he though he was under threat of being gay….. 😂


dylsmak t1_iwcffqh wrote

Every straight man's reaction when an object sidles up next to our buttholes.


netxtc t1_iwaimyy wrote

Tell me you've been to jail....without telling me you've been to jail.


iambluest t1_iw92a9g wrote

His first pivot, on the ball of his foot, kept him balanced. When his momentum pulled him back onto his heel, he fell. Interesting mechanics.