I usually use Replay Gain to match the album gain, so generally, the volume issue is sorted out. Using a baffle + SPL meter, I've measured my headphones as being ~65dB for moderato, and try to adjust volumes to stay below an absolute 75dB max at full orchestral "fff". Hurts my ears way too much past that. In my chain, that's ~25% on the amp knobs.

Of course, there are some orchestral recordings that kill both bass AND treble, and I have Equalizer APO config files I can click on that adds in +3/5/7dB treble high shelves as needed for an album.

I don't listen to much rock/metal/pop, and it's only my daughter that brings EDM, so I suppose that makes a big diff.

I do tend to adjust the upper treble quite a bit, and it greatly enhances my experience. I'm treble sensitive (e.g., Philips Fidelio X2HR treble kills my ears), and many Harman tuning presets have some spikes that fatigue my ears. I turn 40 next month, and my hearing is typically goes up to 15.5kHz to 16.3kHz, depending on my health. Harman tuning presets "feel" way louder past 8kHz than the 3kHz peak the charts suggest. I will often get rid of the preset's treble entries, and replace with a -2 to -4dB high shelf around 8-12kHz, and add back in whatever dips I hear in MathAudio EQ.