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watchitbub t1_j95plls wrote

“I’m the big buck of this lick. If any of you want to try it, come on and whet your horns!”

Gotta love some Lincoln smack talk.


Fred_Evil t1_j95ygp2 wrote

Just wanted to make sure this quote was referenced. Thank you for your good work.


Xalibu2 t1_j96ybf9 wrote

I’d let Lincoln choke slam me. Unfortunately someone shot him.


-PM_Me_Dat_Ass_Girl- t1_j96ng8s wrote

The 19th Century Hardcore Champion had to be ready to defend his belt at all times.


ivebeenabadbadgirll t1_j95kl0q wrote

Fun fact: Abe Lincoln is oft-credited with inventing the chokeslam.


ritaPitaMeterMaid t1_j95ta5c wrote

For the lazy:

> The invention of the chokeslam is credited to Paul Heyman for use by the wrestler 911,[1] although it was already in use by AJPW wrestler Akira Taue since 1992 under the name nodowa otoshi ("choke drop/slam").[2] Furthermore, one of the earliest accounts of the move dates back to a 19th-century recounting that describes Abraham Lincoln (himself a wrestler in his youth) using a technique vaguely similar in description, but without any specific mention of the "slam" component.


Thatparkjobin7A t1_j962hj4 wrote

> Without any specific mention of the “slam” component.

So.. Reading between the lines.. at some point Lincoln, in a particularly heated match, attempted to strangle his opponent


therealCatnuts t1_j962xja wrote

Different. He picked his opponent up by the neck from a standing position. That’s not a normal choke hold.


DOLCICUS t1_j965au5 wrote

Really shows how jacked he was if he could pick up a nearly 200 lb dude with one hand


sigbinItom t1_j96a6d3 wrote

His strength comes from his vampire hunting days.


mudda1 t1_j97anbk wrote

There it is. Came looking for this reference.

Edit: meaning I came here. Not that I actually came. You know what, just, just deal the cards.


Thatparkjobin7A t1_j96ncr1 wrote

Doesn’t say anything about one hand either.

It seems Lincoln’s go-to move and possibly secret to success was to simply close his hands around his opponents windpipe and shake him in the air until he went limp.


Fireonpoopdick t1_j96w1ev wrote

That's kind of terrifying tho, just pick him up strangle them a little bit and then toss them down once they're limp. Brutal Mr president.


Thatparkjobin7A t1_j96wra0 wrote

Once he was sure they were dead he released his grip and allowed the body to crumple lifelessly to the floor of whatever wilderness setting these matches occurred


g0ku t1_j96yeco wrote

abe using his combined height and strength to strangle his opponents off the ground is such a terrifying thought. no wonder so many people were so intimidated of him lmfao.


Thatparkjobin7A t1_j970b6f wrote

That and he would growl wordlessly through his teeth. So loudly, in fact, that the birds would go silent for hours afterwards


Kilmire t1_j97voqm wrote

He once ripped a man in half, from skull to groin, and exploded his still beating heart with a single glance. He was quite embarrassed, as he didn't mean to; but the man was a slaver so it was a net positive overall.


LemonHerb t1_j96clb3 wrote

Not sure what style wrestling they were doing but trying to strangle your opponent is pretty much the goal for a lot of styles of wrestling


Devil-sAdvocate t1_j96uh90 wrote

Now I want to know about the wrestling career of Hank Thompson, the only man to ever beat Lincoln.

While he was with the Illinois Volunteers in the Black Hawk Indian uprising of 1832. A 23-year-old Lincoln was leading a company, and his men loved the fact that their towering Captain was a monster in the ring. Like old Denton Offutt, Lincoln’s company bragged throughout their camp that not a single soldier in the Army could throw Lincoln

A soldier from another company, a man named Lorenzo “Hank” Thompson, took up the challenge. Lincoln was a big man, sure, but Thompson was no small town bully—he was so large that Lincoln said he looked like he “could have thrown a grizzly bear.” This didn’t worry Lincoln’s men though, and they bet whatever they had on them on their Captain: money, whiskey, knives, blankets, anything to spice up the monotony of camp life.

Before the fight started in earnest, Lincoln and Thompson grappled a bit to get a feel for each other’s ability. After a few minutes of this, Lincoln leaned over to his men and said, “Boys, this is the most powerful man I ever had a hold of.” There’s no word on how audibly the soldiers in his company gulped, but I’m sure more than a few of them were gazing over at their bets with regret.

Lincoln finally met his match in Thompson. Thompson scored the first point with relative ease, and even though the second throw looked like a draw, Lincoln knew he was licked. He looked to his men once again and said, “Boys, give up your bets. If this man hasn’t throwed me fairly, he could.” For the only time in his career, Old Abe admitted defeat.


InfernalColumns t1_j966kaf wrote

Andrew Jackson really sold populism by inventing the People's Elbow


CactusBoyScout t1_j968ryn wrote

Well he did chokeslam the south.


Ung-Tik t1_j97hvtq wrote

US presidents were just built different back then.


Batracho t1_j95roux wrote

I visited Lincoln’s home in IL recently and the two coolest facts I learned were this and the fact that he was a HUGE cat lover.


ezhammer t1_j95vgqb wrote

He liked regular cats a whole lot? Or he was a big fan of tigers and leopards?


Batracho t1_j95w16e wrote

Regular cats, he kept rescuing and bringing cats into his house iirc, to dismay of his wife. He also had 2 cats called Tabbie and Dixie.


bokononpreist t1_j96201b wrote

Lmao naming one of his cats Dixie while he was in the White House is hilarious.


Stardustchaser t1_j96lqbv wrote

When the Civil War ended and the South’s defeat announced, Lincoln was at a party and ordered the band to play Dixie as a sign of respect.


7LeagueBoots t1_j9880jz wrote

You sure he didn’t tell them to play with Dixie and they misinterpreted it?



mwaller t1_j9w116j wrote

An homage to the Dixiecats possibly.


knaugh t1_j97zady wrote

He liked regular cats a normal amount, Lincoln himself was huge


iwannahitthelotto t1_j96qzzg wrote

And he suffered from severe depression throughout his life. And still was able to become the greatest president in history. Battling a moral war against slavery.


nowhereman136 t1_j9795om wrote

Lincoln was also a dog lover. He named his dog Fido, which is Latin for loyalty. It is thought that this is where the trend of referring to dogs as Fido comes from.


chronoboy1985 t1_j983z64 wrote

Reminds me of the teddy bear being named after Roosevelt.


Sonyguyus t1_j96a3d9 wrote

America loved Lincoln until he formed the NWO with George Washington and William Taft on that one episode of WCW Nitro where he betrayed his friend Macho Man Uncle Sam.


Blade_Shot24 t1_j970z2k wrote

So as a means to stop evolution: Robert E Lee, Jefferson Davis and Stonewall Jackson


DukeVerde t1_j97rkon wrote

Don't worry, Uncle Sam can tap in Theodore Roosevelt.


[deleted] t1_j95lbji wrote



MrDD33 t1_j95lcjc wrote

What was the story about him being able to lift an incredible heavy weight?


MrKidderfer t1_j965kbk wrote

I think you just told it


DarthRathikus t1_j96rmui wrote

Was a hell of a tale. Gonna make a cup of tea and really just reflect back on it for a bit.


Yasuminomon t1_j98594k wrote

I liked the part where he lifted that incredible heavyweight


Sonyguyus t1_j971u1h wrote

That’s when he slammed Andre the giant in front of 93,137 people in the Pontiac Silverdome at Wrestlemania 3.


Hplayer18 t1_j984bj6 wrote

I thought he threw the undertaker off a cage, crashing him through the announcers table


Sonyguyus t1_j98g9v1 wrote

About the only guy badass enough to do that to The Undertaker


PunishedCadillac t1_j97z1rf wrote

Andre was pretty big. But he was able to lift himself everyday of his life which is pretty incredible


pokedudewithglasses t1_j97z30v wrote

Apparently able to hold an ax straight by the end of the handle with two fingers an arm’s length away


mealsharedotorg t1_j96p7jy wrote

Kind of wild that 4.4% of US presidents are in the wrestling hall of fame.


tool_of_a_took t1_j981vry wrote

If Arnold Schwarzenegger had gone into wrestling instead of acting he’d be president already


Aeirth_Belmont t1_j95jrpb wrote

I will say this is one of my favorite facts about him. Some know this, but many do not. When they learn they normally are like that's actually interesting.


BMCarbaugh t1_j97otw6 wrote

Don't let this distract you from the fact that in 1865 Abe Lincoln threw Robert E. Lee off Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.


ONDRE t1_j96hfft wrote

I would watch the heck out of this movie adaptation.


TG-Sucks t1_j96mk11 wrote

Abraham Lincoln is.. THE EMANCIPATOR

To stop a brewing civil war from taking to the field, he needs to take it to the mat. In a wild adrenaline-fueled race across the rebel states, President, Statesman and Professional Wrestler Abraham Lincoln must challenge and defeat each Governor in a physical test of strength, endurance and cunning. But getting there is only half the battle, as the road will be long and treacherous. Can our limber hero overcome the many dangers he faces? Can the unjustly enslaved be set free? Will he make it in time?

Don’t miss the action blockbuster of the year! Coming to an IMAX near you this 4th of July


ONDRE t1_j96mwed wrote

This is great! I was also thinking something more along the lines of his match against Jack Armstrong and others.


TG-Sucks t1_j96nhjy wrote

Jack Armstrong can be the old nemesis that’s hired to stop him along the way, culminating in a heated rematch in the third act!


chronoboy1985 t1_j984uvi wrote

Now I’m wondering what his ring music would be. Hail to the Chief seems to cliche.


Zlatan13 t1_j979c0z wrote

Check out Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. It's a hilarious and awesome bad movie, and I love the hell out of it.


kochikame t1_j95yync wrote

Also that imaginary guy in Fight Club wanted to fight him


[deleted] t1_j96dnfj wrote



kingbovril t1_j96squs wrote

I don’t think it makes you stronger, if anything I believe it impedes potential strength. It does make your joints more flexible, though


deadthoma5 t1_j96w5t2 wrote

Lincoln's so badass, he even slays vampires with his axe


jh937hfiu3hrhv9 t1_j973fbj wrote

He must have looked like a real freak being 6'4" at that time.


Crimkam t1_j97vp6v wrote

Suddenly President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho doesn’t sound so far fetched.


vxarctic t1_j96e8jk wrote

This art style would fit right in with Attack on Titan.


electrojag t1_j96o0wh wrote

Really awesome read, I remember hearing vaguely about Abraham Lincoln wrestling in the pat,but to have the details laid out was so satisfying to read.


Emekalim t1_j9752rp wrote

Ogs know this was a cover for killing vampires


TuhnderBear t1_j97xv0s wrote

Nice. Wrestling takes so much determination and perseverance. It’s such a brutal sport to do. Respect.


ScampyFox t1_j982cp3 wrote

Was this before or after the vampire slaying phase?


CloudPeels t1_j983fn7 wrote

Lincoln the unknown. Good book from what I remember at 10yo


ReedsAndSerpents t1_j98a84e wrote

The giant hands of the rail splitter weren't only good for splitting rails and the South, they apparently were also good for annihilating jabronis.


Ok-Jury-7577 t1_j9eig84 wrote

It was then in Africa that people were seeking to share knowledge, unite the world, and set everyone free. Nobody wanted to be anything; everyone only wanted to be. Illusions like time have no bearing on the spirit. Find the smallest beginning, fight for the group at all times, and acknowledge that incarnation is not a myth. Writing on papyrus, never again aimless Raus aus dem Büros, pyrotechnic fire

You're messed up, Hollywood 🥂 all without distinction until the end of the world Karma like a boomerang, no one is distracted Revolution of Consciousness, My Century Plan

You're messed up, Hollywood 🥂. all without distinction until the end of the world Karma like a boomerang, no one is distracted Revolution of Consciousness, My Century Plan

There was a time in Mama Africa when there were no cities and everything was unfathomable.