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akskigirl OP t1_j99svro wrote

Archaeologists re-analysed a previously discovered object and discovered use wear patterns which suggest it was definitely not a darning tool has had been previously assumed..

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Raudskeggr t1_j9dxbfg wrote

Of course their examination, while being able to tell us what it probably wasn't, didn't bring us terribly much closer to knowing what it actually was:

>Although we conclude here with no definitive interpretation of the Vindolanda phallus, we hope to have prompted the search for similar objects elsewhere and encouraged their meaningful incorporation into narratives of the past.

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MundanePlantain1 t1_j9eh5ny wrote

Could be a part of a game.

An object of totemic value.

A stylised tool.

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CupcaknHell t1_j9cqoyj wrote

In the army we sometimes carve ”field-dicks” for laughs, and carvings of Freyr also usually had a big ol’ schlong on them to symbolise fertility. There’s a lot of reasons to carve wooden phalluses that aren’t dildos

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isymfs t1_j9hsycd wrote

TIL my high school buddies and I were symbolising (arguably celebrating?) fertility all along. Sure, that’s the reason. I’ll go with that.

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DukeVerde t1_j9beb1t wrote

But can you imagine the splinters?

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Carrman099 t1_j9bf1bk wrote

Lacquered properly it shouldn’t be too bad on that front.

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DukeVerde t1_j9bg23h wrote

I can already see the Tale of Genji, where their walls are decorated with lacquered phalluses.

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lIlIllIllllI t1_j9fc69o wrote

I don't understand why people always associate wood with splinters. The people of that era used a ton of wooden tools, furniture, etc. yet we don't hear of splinters being a bigz daily issue.

Yes, splinters can happen, but it's a problem that's quite minor. Going so hard on splinters is like thinking that anyone that handles paper is at a big risk of getting a paper cut at all times.

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Alternative-Target31 t1_j9c3dxy wrote

Modern soldiers (at least US) put dicks everywhere. Drawn them, carve them, make origami of them - anyway you can imagine a dick it will be done. So I like to think of this as some Joe who got bored on a 24 hour duty and decided that he would make a wooden dick and make jokes about it.

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frodegar t1_j9ajw1d wrote

I've always figured that people are people whether they live in an apartment and drive a bus or they live in a grass hut and hunt with stone tipped spears.

Imagine a bunch of guys chilling around a fire after a long hunt:

"Hey, you know that anthropologist that's been hanging around? He showed up at my hut the other day. Anyway, I hadn't had a chance to clean up first. You know those dirty statues Poco carves in his spare time? My wife left hers out and he saw it. I didn't know what to say until he asked me if it was my fertility god. Of course I said yes. I'm not gonna tell him what it's really for! I asked Poco to make one as big as my arm. I'm gonna give it to that annoying grad student he's always staring at."

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mapadofu t1_j9b51s5 wrote

You know all those Paleolithic naked female “fertility” figurines…

So a long time ago I was on a fly-in fishing trip to northern Ontario. One day we went exploring up one of the streams and found a hunting/trapping cabin. It was unoccupied since they’re only used in the fall and winter. Poked our head in and the only interior decorations were pages from porn magazines racked up on the walls.

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InquisitiveHawk t1_j9d5x87 wrote

I'm thinking this is a wonderful pun, as well as a functional tool, times two.

It's a pestle, to pound with...

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FriendlySquall t1_j9fbroa wrote

The Internet was supposed to help humanity gain knowledge. Instead a wooden penis goes viral. Sad

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Ok_Fondant_6340 t1_j9qczsi wrote

that's some plant-based meat if i've ever seen any

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desolateheaven t1_j9c4e05 wrote

Unlikely women or men in a Roman fort were using this object to insert in their vagina or anus for thrills. Or indeed to torture someone, they had much more vicious instruments. The phallus was the image of Roman power, and was literally as common as MacDonalds Golden Arches are today. Much more so. This will freak some of you out, (I hope it does), but the cock was as wide-spread in the Roman Empire as the crucifix or cross in Medieval Europe. It was a symbol of a value-system.

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