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arm2610 t1_iuwbpno wrote

My man idk if you’ve noticed, but most history has been written by men. Do you think maybe they might have got a few things wrong about womens sexuality? I’d say the notion that women are “less sexual” than men is an equally false idea rooted in sexism as the notion that they are “more sexual”. Women were portrayed as more sexual than men because their sexuality was viewed as dangerous in the context of a strictly patriarchal society in which paternity and property were of extreme importance and inextricably bound up with notions of family honor. In more modern times we’ve switched to a view of womens sexuality that emphasizes their passivity in contrast to a supposedly uncontrollable male libido. This both justifies a paternalistic kind of protection of “weak” women against rapacious men and also serves as a backhanded rationalization of rape (because men are simply uncontrollable, “boys will be boys” etc). These are all socially constructed ideas that reflect the gender ideology of the society they come from. Nothing about our own ideas on gender or sexuality are necessarily objectively true or more valid than previous societies. They just arise from different material and ideological conditions.

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[deleted] OP t1_iuwz96a wrote

Modern science can show us that at least in our current societies women masturbate less, initiate sex less, etc. in general

The question is whether this is actually true cross culturally. While I think the ideological analysis is valid (if rather one-note in its cynicism), it’s critical to investigate if possible the actual empirical reality to see what underlying human nature is actually like (either uniform or culturally contingent)

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disembodiedbrain t1_iuyl6cf wrote

>The question is whether this is actually true cross culturally.

It's a fairly established finding in the field of human evolutionary psychology that they do. And numerous biological explanations for that have been articulated; the long and short of it is that women are more biologically invested in their sexuality than men are because they carry and give birth. Biologically speaking it carries more risk for them. Hence the behavior pattern whereby men initiate courtship.

So from a biology perspective it's fairly accepted that yes, much of the generalities you speak of are indeed cross-cultural phenomena. Though the specifics of sexual norms may vary widely by culture.

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eleochariss t1_iuy3c49 wrote

That's true, but in our modern society sex is also skewed to be more satisfying for men than women.

Alone or with a female partner, women orgasm 80 to 95% of the time, whereas with a male partner it drops to 64% of the time. Masturbation for men is also less stigmatized than for women.

So it's not surprising that some women tend to avoid sex altogether.

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JumboJetz t1_iuy4msh wrote

Not sure how masturbation is less stigmatized for men than women when womens sex toys are ubiquitous and on billboards. I’d hazard to guess most women in their 20s own a masturbation toy while I’d say an extreme minority of men own a masturbation toy.

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EchoesInTheAbyss t1_iuyvkh8 wrote

sigh idk, when you are called "dirty", "slutty", "careful, you will give boys the wrong idea" etc on the regular, even for non-sexual things one tends to be wary in discussing/exploring our sexual lives. Not too mention the role of religion in blaming women for "getting kicked out of paradise", "dishonoring the family" etc.

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JumboJetz t1_iuywjjv wrote

This has nothing to do with the fact that many women seem content to have satisfying masturbation lives aided by toys. Potentially a majority of young single women who live alone probably own a masturbation toy I would guess. So yes many women do feel comfortable with that even if some don’t explore sexuality in other ways on the masturbation side women seem to have gotten rid of most hangups.

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EchoesInTheAbyss t1_iuyxp17 wrote

The key is the word "majority", which is actually untrue.

Maybe the "majority" of the very few women you have interacted and are willing to discuss this with you. But not necessarily the 51% of the population at large.

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[deleted] OP t1_iuyf95z wrote

I feel like framing it in terms of orgasm is inherently masculine though. It’s more about the journey than the destination, isn’t it? Aren’t men the ones who are obsessed with numbers and stuff? What about personal emotional connection?

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War_Hymn t1_ivai4a6 wrote

> Modern science can show us that at least in our current societies women masturbate less, initiate sex less, etc

Can I get some sauce on that?

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bigmealbigmeal t1_iuxgvj5 wrote

While I agree that the societal issues you’re calling attention to are important and need addressing, it has to be noted that your answer is speculation.

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