When will an abuser be served?

Submitted by SoxPatsBruinsCelts t3_120pp8l in massachusetts

My girlfriend was granted an ex parte abuse prevention order (209A) against her Ex on Wednesday morning.

We are anxiously waiting for him to be served. We are afraid of how he might react.

Unfortunately, the police have been no help. When we call, we get answers like: "I don't know", or "Call back", or "Here's a number for a detective (who never calls back)". A few minutes ago, they told us that they have not even received the restraining order from the court.

We called the court a few moments ago and the woman behaved as if we were putting her out. She told us in an exacerbated tone that she'll have to send it to the police again.

What in the actual fuck?! Is there something we can do to move this process along?

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Comments

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DBLJ33 t1_jdienwo wrote

They will attempt once or twice a shift depending on the town/city. After that the court may allow them to contact the person by phone.

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sporky211 t1_jdif5l3 wrote

I was under the impression in Massachusetts it has to be served by an officer/sheriff and it has to be in person

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DBLJ33 t1_jditsqh wrote

The court faxes it over to the police and they attempt to serve it in hand to the defendant.

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redddit_rabbbit t1_jdjfyon wrote

The judge can allow serving by phone, but they still have to speak directly to the defendant.

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sneakylyric t1_jdit7dh wrote

Never heard of this. I've only heard of in person serving in this state, but I'm no lawyer, just a former state social worker 🤷🏾

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Jezebels_lipstick t1_jdj26s2 wrote

Thank you for not saying “INAL”, it gets exhausting trying to figure out what people are talking about with all the acronyms.

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sneakylyric t1_jdj2ey1 wrote

I don't know that acronym 🤣🤣🤣

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Jezebels_lipstick t1_jdj5iz1 wrote

“I’m not a lawyer”. Omg, i literally just did what I was thanking you for not doing!! 🤦🏼‍♀️ sorry.

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sneakylyric t1_jdj5mui wrote

Lol it's ok I already googled it 🤣

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Jezebels_lipstick t1_jdjnyjx wrote

I came across “BIANAL” today …. But I Am Not A Lawyer. My first thought was something sexual, so I stopped paying attention & moved on.

Once my boss used “FWIW” in a group email & no one had a clue what it meant. he apologized & explained it means “for what it’s worth”.

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unfinished-emotions t1_jdihhxu wrote

My ex was served a few hours after I left the court, keep calling them until they serve and make sure your friend documents any and all attempted contact from her ex after he is served. Call the police immediately. Document everything.

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bananagaloshes t1_jdimzgc wrote

My experience with my restraining order is that the cops will do as little as possible (which is usually nothing) until you go down to the station with an attorney. Mine was served very quickly but they didn't take any violations seriously until my lawyer got involved.

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MOGicantbewitty t1_jdip796 wrote

If you get a copy of the restraining order, you can have your county sheriff serve them. You can drop it off at their office and pay the service fee so you don’t have to worry about whether the police are going to do it or not.

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sneakylyric t1_jdisxe1 wrote

As someone who used to work for the state I can tell you that these types of orders only work for somewhat sane people. If the Ex is crazy you two are better off moving to a new place and keeping it secret from him. Too many of my cases had this type (or similar) order and it didn't stop the harassment from a crazy ex.

I can also tell you that anything to do with court or the police takes forever and is generally not very helpful.

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NeghVar t1_jdjqf4f wrote

"The police won't help you. It's a system designed only to really work against reasonable people." And yet, MA is pouring money in our cops, and....huh.

Gee.

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sneakylyric t1_jdjr0h4 wrote

Cops will only show up after a crazy ex assaults someone and then they write a report, and the victim is in the hospital. Fuck the police, almost entirely useless.

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NeghVar t1_jdjrntx wrote

"When seconds count, the police are minutes away."

"And they'll hit your dog, too!"

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HaElfParagon t1_jdj9oqw wrote

Given others haven't mentioned it, it would not be a bad idea to start considering measures for your own protection. Pepper spray, securing your home with better features (for example, 3" screws into the door brackets will do wonders with keeping it from being kicked off its hinges)

Enroll in a self defense class. You're seeing first hand how little the cops care about you, ultimately you are responsible for your own safety if your ex goes crazy

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[deleted] t1_jdixwqo wrote

[deleted]

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Coggs362 t1_jdjlypq wrote

Precisely. I'm sure the police chief won't appreciate a WCVB Reporter showing up with mic and camera to ask questions on the record.

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sad0panda t1_jdkkvtm wrote

I had to take out a 258E (harrassment prevention order) and it was served the same day.

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iloveboston t1_jdl1oyw wrote

Have her sign up for VINE. It notifies survivors when the abuser has been served. www vinelink.com

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