When will an abuser be served?

Submitted by SoxPatsBruinsCelts t3_120pp8l in massachusetts

My girlfriend was granted an ex parte abuse prevention order (209A) against her Ex on Wednesday morning.

We are anxiously waiting for him to be served. We are afraid of how he might react.

Unfortunately, the police have been no help. When we call, we get answers like: "I don't know", or "Call back", or "Here's a number for a detective (who never calls back)". A few minutes ago, they told us that they have not even received the restraining order from the court.

We called the court a few moments ago and the woman behaved as if we were putting her out. She told us in an exacerbated tone that she'll have to send it to the police again.

What in the actual fuck?! Is there something we can do to move this process along?

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Comments

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DBLJ33 t1_jdienwo wrote

They will attempt once or twice a shift depending on the town/city. After that the court may allow them to contact the person by phone.

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unfinished-emotions t1_jdihhxu wrote

My ex was served a few hours after I left the court, keep calling them until they serve and make sure your friend documents any and all attempted contact from her ex after he is served. Call the police immediately. Document everything.

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bananagaloshes t1_jdimzgc wrote

My experience with my restraining order is that the cops will do as little as possible (which is usually nothing) until you go down to the station with an attorney. Mine was served very quickly but they didn't take any violations seriously until my lawyer got involved.

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MOGicantbewitty t1_jdip796 wrote

If you get a copy of the restraining order, you can have your county sheriff serve them. You can drop it off at their office and pay the service fee so you don’t have to worry about whether the police are going to do it or not.

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sneakylyric t1_jdisxe1 wrote

As someone who used to work for the state I can tell you that these types of orders only work for somewhat sane people. If the Ex is crazy you two are better off moving to a new place and keeping it secret from him. Too many of my cases had this type (or similar) order and it didn't stop the harassment from a crazy ex.

I can also tell you that anything to do with court or the police takes forever and is generally not very helpful.

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HaElfParagon t1_jdj9oqw wrote

Given others haven't mentioned it, it would not be a bad idea to start considering measures for your own protection. Pepper spray, securing your home with better features (for example, 3" screws into the door brackets will do wonders with keeping it from being kicked off its hinges)

Enroll in a self defense class. You're seeing first hand how little the cops care about you, ultimately you are responsible for your own safety if your ex goes crazy

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Jezebels_lipstick t1_jdjnyjx wrote

Replying to sneakylyric (#2,341,069)

I came across “BIANAL” today …. But I Am Not A Lawyer. My first thought was something sexual, so I stopped paying attention & moved on.

Once my boss used “FWIW” in a group email & no one had a clue what it meant. he apologized & explained it means “for what it’s worth”.

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sad0panda t1_jdkkvtm wrote

I had to take out a 258E (harrassment prevention order) and it was served the same day.

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iloveboston t1_jdl1oyw wrote

Have her sign up for VINE. It notifies survivors when the abuser has been served. www vinelink.com

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