Submitted by pinkrosxen t3_120x6yn in massachusetts

me & my gf are both bi & trans. with the new sweeping anti-trans bills we are considering safe states to move to as our current state is one of the worst hit. Massachusetts has some of the most pro trans legislation. We're mostly wondering

  1. if the pro-trans status is expected to change in the (especially near) future. In four years will this still be in place?
  2. if Boston is the most LGBT friendly city? is there a better place to move for safety or even just in general?
  3. is moving to Boston right now a good idea?

any answers or other helpful stuff would b appreciated!



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nrvs_hbt t1_jdjezg6 wrote

I would be completely shocked if MA enacted any anti-trans bills or repealed any pro-trans bills in the near future, considering there was literally a ballot measure in 2018 attempting to repeal a previous pro-trans bill and the vote went overwhelmingly in favor of the existing measure.

The other commenter is correct that there are some areas of the state you'll definitely want to avoid, but I would disagree that Boston is the only city worth considering. Northampton/Amherst in the western part of the state is just as queer-friendly as Boston if not even more so. There are a lot of smaller colleges there like Smith and Hampshire that have historically been super progressive which definitely runs over into the surrounding area. It's also cheaper - note that you won't be able to move within 20-30 miles of Boston unless you can spend at least $2k a month on a studio or 1-bed and pay at least $8k in up-front moving costs (of course there are exceptions to this rule, but I wouldn't bank on exceptions).


odamado t1_jdjy3lb wrote

Western mass is queer as hell, and we love it here


Ok_Translator_7026 t1_jdk167w wrote

This is true ! Our daughter loves it here in western Mass. she is a young lesbian and we relocated from NW Georgia which is a hellhole . Actually no. Politically a hell hole would be a better place than living in a district that worships MTG and is still fighting the “yankees” in an imaginary civil war errr or as we were taught in school the war of northern aggression (this was the 90s🤦🏻‍♂️).

Watching our daughter become comfort and open with who she is has been worth the move in itself. Western Mass has been and is a great place .


UpCoconut t1_jdkc0mc wrote

Most of Western MA certainly is. There are a few hilltowns between the Berkshires and the Pioneer Valley that are not as tolerant as other areas.


Tiredofthemisinfo t1_jdlc859 wrote

Some of Franklin County is a bit conservative leaning, to put it politely


Zealousideal_Sea7899 t1_jdlnyep wrote

Lots of conservative trash in MA, there are drooling idiot hillbillies and fascist bootlicker manbabies who have punisher stickers and confederate flags on their cars

Lots of trump trash too


solariam t1_jdx3cet wrote

Meh, lots of it isn't though. Unless they're looking to live in the woods, Franklin county is fine and TBH would still have options even if they do want the woods.


GlumDistribution7036 t1_jdjgn1y wrote

Legislatively, you will be safe here. This is very expensive place to live. You need to look into that. Obviously, the closer to Boston, the more expensive. But even places in Western Mass get expensive. Will kids ever be in the picture? Childcare in Massachusetts is criminally expensive (we live an hour outside of the city and still pay $2500/month). Somerville, if you can afford it, would be such a wonderful place. Also, Salem. Good luck!


PM_me_spare_change t1_jdjt1ge wrote

It was Samuel Adams after all who said “give us your trans, your bi, your huddled gay asses.”

For real though you couldn’t do much better than Mass for finding a place to live and the Boston area especially if you’ve got the dough.


Davidicus12 t1_jdk1bh9 wrote

Life long mass hole here: nobody cares who you want to be or who you like having sex with. Don’t commit crime (like actual crime, not republican morality “crime”) and help old people when it’s snowy. You’ll be fine. Laws won’t suddenly go rogue here. We’ve been progressive since Lexington and Concord and I don’t see that changing.


bix902 t1_jdlf3mt wrote

"We're massholes...but we're no assholes"


kayro317 t1_jdm1vp3 wrote

You may need to relearn to drive among the massholes, but outside the car you’ll be safe!


Vivid-Mammoth-4161 t1_jdmv14w wrote

You’ve seen nothing until you’ve gone up against RI drivers.

Generally speaking, if you’re lgbtq and want to be treated normally, MA is about as good as it gets


Banana_Ram_You t1_jdkm8xa wrote

I'm all about that first sentence. Lucky enough to live in a state where I don't have to care.


particular-potatoe t1_jdje9ob wrote

MA will continue to be a trans friendly space in the future most likely. Even our previous republican governor didn’t veto bathroom bills some years ago. HOWEVER, there are some spots in the state that trans people do not want to live in. Anywhere in the Boston metro area will be fine though. Is moving to Boston a good idea? Depends how much money you have.


tokhar t1_jdjenv3 wrote

I’d add anywhere around the 5 college area in Western Mass is probably great too. (E.g around Amherst).


SeasonalBlackout t1_jdjhe9q wrote

Second this. Northampton, Amherst, Hadley and surrounding towns are pretty liberal.


Quiet-Ad-12 t1_jdjlsp2 wrote

The cape is likely to be very friendly too


phonesmahones t1_jdjz7s8 wrote

Especially lower Cape (e.g, Provincetown)


dskippy t1_jdkyry4 wrote

Provincetown is one of my favorite places ever. Famously a gay refuge when refuge was necessary. Now a party beach town. They should definitely visit. But that place had very few jobs and it's incredibly expensive. It's mostly a vacation town for extremely wealthy people.


The-Appointed-Knight t1_jdjzm7h wrote

Moved to Holyoke because it’s a few minutes drive from Northampton and real estate a lot more affordable. Great city all on its own, downtown mills coming back!


Ok_Translator_7026 t1_jdk1k0p wrote

I was getting my Jeep worked on to make it Mass inspection ready when we moved here. We were in Holyoke and like 50 cops came from parked unmarked cars and stormed what I think was an apartment complex. The guys at the Jeep place said it was just another day. 😆😆

Other than that what we have experienced when in Holyoke has been nice. I


emotionallyasystolic t1_jdjnejo wrote

Go to the Pioneer Valley. Amherst, Northampton, Easthampton. Very queer friendly.


gemitch4119 t1_jdji6h7 wrote

You should check out western mass. Specifically look in the Northampton area. It's cheaper than Boston and the area is very beautiful. Very trans friendly as well.


SpecterCody t1_jdjp0ei wrote

And don't forget the neighboring Easthampton, which is smaller and more quaint. I get very progressive vibes in town without the crowds Noho brings.


gemitch4119 t1_jdk2wr4 wrote

Yes, Easthampton is also excellent. One of my favorite places I've lived and also very friendly towards the queer community from my experience!


Relative_Professor48 t1_jdmu30n wrote

It’s really just Hampshire county. If you go to the Berkshires, it’s not that great.


solariam t1_jdvkydz wrote

Is Greenfield/Turners not pretty queer? Some queer spaces down here in Hampden County as well although also lots of wealthy respectability politics republicans.


Relative_Professor48 t1_jdvmmqb wrote

Hampden and Berkshires are actually two different county’s lol


solariam t1_jdw4nzm wrote

They sure are, w.mass has 4 counties and Berkshire is only one of them. Wasn't saying berk is pro LGBTQ, that's the only one I haven't lived in


Relative_Professor48 t1_jdw98k3 wrote

I mean you did, I said they were not friendly and you said something about Greenfield and hampden being friendly which isn’t the Berkshires…..


solariam t1_jdwc4hk wrote

Well, you said w.mass isn't friendly, only Hampshire county is. My understanding is obviously Hampshire county is, and Franklin/Hampden counties also are, although to a somewhat lesser extent, probably in that order. I didn't say anything about Berkshire county.


Relative_Professor48 t1_jdwg7ag wrote

No, I said Hampden is and the Berkshires isn’t….. reread that bud


solariam t1_jdwhp0i wrote

>It’s really just Hampshire county. If you go to the Berkshires, it’s not that great.

Me: what about these places in Franklin county? I live in Hampden county and there are queer spaces here.

You: Those aren't the Berkshires

Me: I never said they were, but implying that western Mass = Hampshire county or the Berkshires is also wrong. There are 4 counties in western ma and 3 of them are considered pretty LGBTQ friendly.


Relative_Professor48 t1_jdwwnis wrote

Nope, I said it’s really just Hampden…. Not the Berkshires. You said “isn’t greenfield queer” greenfield is not Berkshires so it’s irrelevant. That’s my point. You were mentioning pointing things.


solariam t1_jdx2glz wrote

😂 You responded to a comment that said western ma is queer friendly with commentary on the Berkshires, aka the most remote and rural quarter of the region.

Franklin county has greenfield, turners, and half of the towns surrounding UMass/sharing a school district with Amherst, as well as the leftier towns of Sunderland and Montague.

If you're only talking about the Berkshires, clarify that. Lol no one is arguing with you about the Berkshires, especially in a thread dominated with discussion of the pioneer valley.


Relative_Professor48 t1_jdx5o1f wrote

Okay, so you’re mad I responded to a tread about wmass about a western mass county…. That’s the fucking point. Yeah I I did, I literally said, “it’s really just Hampden county, if you go to the Berkshires it’s not that great” plz tell me how that’s not specifically talking about the Berkshires…..


solariam t1_jdx6abh wrote

😂😂😂 no one's mad. If someone says "Massachusetts is all cities" and you say "not in the Berkshires", the implication is that everywhere but the Berkshires is cities.

Btw, the county with noho in it is Hampshire county, not Hampden. The counties in western Mass are Berkshire, Franklin, Hampshire and Hampden. If you're gonna generalize about the region, you should make sure that what you're talking about applies to at least half the region.


Relative_Professor48 t1_jdx764q wrote

You’re upset that I shared my opinion on my experience. That’s literally not how implications work. By saying that you would imply, the Berkshires are not all cities and that’s it.

I know the difference between all the counties sorry my dyslexia and learning disability get in the way.🙄have a wonderful day and work on your reading comprehension.


solariam t1_jdxckln wrote

Bb, who's upset? There have been roughly a half dozen comments clarifying exactly what I said about the rest of the area. I'm not trying to be a dick about spelling; literally this error muddled what you were trying to say.


somegridplayer t1_jdjfjxf wrote

MA will never stop being LGBTQ+ friendly.


[deleted] t1_jdjk6gm wrote



TRBG t1_jdjvffv wrote

Ehh, Maine can also be a little iffy, they did give us LePage for a while. [Minor sidepoint, I spaced on his named and had to Google "shitty governor maine." Came up right away].


Fencius t1_jdjnx8t wrote

If any state is safe from anti-trans legislation, it’s probably MA. And as others have said, while there are assholes everywhere, anywhere in Greater Boston is safe for LGBTQIA+ people.

You’re biggest hurdles will be the same as everyone else’s: housing and transportation.


exactlyw t1_jdjeih2 wrote

I would not recommend Boston proper if you can afford to go elsewhere - Cambridge and Somerville will definitely be the places with the strongest sense of community. On the whole as an LGBT person I feel incredibly safe in the greater Boston area.

That being said I can't predict the future. Eastern MA does have some suburbs where you won't be as comfortable or welcome.

Is moving here a good idea outside of the LGBT legal protections? Tough to say. We're having a massive cost of living crisis right now same as many other places.

I love it here. I pay way too much to live here - but I consider that an acceptable tradeoff, because I love it here.


somegridplayer t1_jdjfguy wrote

>Eastern MA does have some suburbs where you won't be as comfortable or welcome.

Nobody feels comfortable in them except for the shitty closed minded shitheads that live in those towns.


thegalwayseoige t1_jdl1s49 wrote

Dude, go live in any other region of the US. Eastern Mass might as well be Eden.


godzilla_dropkick t1_jdl3y7u wrote

I grew up in Alabama. Some of y'all's sense of backwoods / scary areas are laughable. As a trans non-binary person, MA is the safest place I've felt in the US.


thegalwayseoige t1_jdl5dtq wrote

I’m from here, and have lived across the US. Boston’s bigoted reputation is laughable if you’ve spent any time in almost any other state.

It’s mind-blowing to me that people actually have this take. The most conservative people I know from MA, still don’t hate the people they disagree with.


somegridplayer t1_jdlounj wrote

At times parts of Boston would have gutted your good old boys not for the color of their skin but for existing in that space at that time. And some parts for color too.

"Safe" is relative.

You also realize this is a state that at one time made the south blush right? And that was the fucking 70s.


directtodvd420 t1_jdkksqj wrote

Dunno why you’re being downvoted, grew up in Walpole, can confirm.


somegridplayer t1_jdloy06 wrote

It's people not from MA and then the rose colored clowns who think our shit doesn't stink. It's fine. They can pretend.


thegalwayseoige t1_jdl0nta wrote

It’s Boston. We don’t give a fuck about what anyone does, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. Now, I’m not saying you’ll feel welcomed with open arms—but that has nothing to do with your gender identity. We’re just prickly.

You and your partner will be/feel safe. The vast majority of people here, that don’t understand orientation and gender identity issues, still see you as humans. And because of our history pertaining to authoritative overreach, our population isn’t going to tolerate a society that legislates your humanity. That’s where our concept of “toleration” ends and begins.

Oh—and our love language is roasting the shit out of each other. If someone does that to you, roast yourself better than they did, then give it back. If it’s witty and said with a smile, you become one of the tribe. Self-deprecation and sarcasm are our native tongue. If we’re fucking with you, it’s bc that’s how we express camaraderie.

P.S. Vermont is for beer, crafts, antiques, skiing, and radical leftist protests. NH is for menthols, cheap booze (especially their amazing beer), and Trump voters too liberal for the south. Maine is for Lobstahs, Floridaman-North characters, and beer. Rhode Island is for Italian food, old New England grime, and killah beer. Connecticut (they’re dead to us) is finance bros, the best pizza on the planet, and beer. Mass…well, we’re the hub of the universe. You’ll understand after you get here, and have had a few beers (they’re amazing).

Dress in layers, expect autumn to blow your mind, order your Dunks iced…all year. If someone shovels out street parking in the winter, they will put a space saver in that spot—If you move it to park there, your car will be annihilated, and the community will turn against you. This isn’t an exaggeration-don’t do it. Avoid Greek pizza. North Shore Roast Beefs are the pinnacle of culinary expression, and are to be ordered as follows: Super Beef, 3-way, onion roll. Sox, Pats, Bruins, Celts; they are our religion.

Enjoy your new (England) home, in the best region in the US. Welcome to Boston, and go fuck yourself.


Missmunkeypants95 t1_jdlhw0u wrote

This was fantastic. Wicked pissah. You made us proud, you beautiful asshole.


brightlocks t1_jdnyvm9 wrote

Sorry can’t go fuck myself. I’m pretty tired after fucking your ma all night.

Great post!!


vitico1 t1_jdjjkrw wrote

Yes, but it's a lot like San Francisco, which is very expensive.


The-Shattering-Light t1_jdjx90x wrote

MA won’t rescind trans protection.

A ballot question in 2018 included an attempt to repeal trans protections, and it was defeated by around 3:1

Boston is very expensive, even for MA which has a high cost of living.

There are towns outside Boston which are good, and others which aren’t. A general way to see good towns would be to look at how the town voted on that ballot question. (“Yes” is the good answer)


higgy87 t1_jdk8bvr wrote

I want to meet the 8% of people in p town that voted against it lol.


dskippy t1_jdkzl9l wrote

Yeah wait wtf? 8% of p-town? Who the hell are those people? Why do they stay? That's like going to Fenway and asking them to stop playing baseball and put on a movie. Bro you don't like baseball, just leave.


sihtydaernacuoytihsy t1_jdjgr7o wrote

I'd think so; as others have mentioned, the cost of living issue is significant. In the city itself, I'd expect the most LGBT-friendly areas to be Jamaica Plain, Roslindale, the South End (haha $), and Allston-Brighton. For other areas, there's probably a pretty good correlation between the bluest parts of this map and where you'd feel most comfortable (sort by Biden %, the top thirty communities should be pretty good).

I think there's an incredibly low chance MA will, at a state level, diminish protections for trans people. Quite the opposite, now that we've finally got a Democratic trifecta (complete with lesbian governor--you can come complain that she's too cozy with finance and developers, maybe...).

Boston is one of the safest cities in the country overall. (Weirdly, NYC is doing even better on the violent crime.)

Right now? Can you find a place you can afford? If so, come on up.

Also: I glanced at your post history. Feel free to chat me if you want synagogue rec's.

/r/Boston may give you additional thoughts; its also a very active community.


[deleted] t1_jdjqhln wrote

So here's the story. The environment is very progressive. Those who aren't cool might be open about not being cool. Assholes feel free to be assholes. The good news is people you don't want to associate with will out themselves very fast - and majority of people will give them heat for it.


MinneapolisKing25 t1_jdjjqr4 wrote

Boston is expensive, but north Hampton MA will welcome you, most parts of Worcester too. The state as a whole is not perfect though. It has its intolerant spots like everywhere


mehkindaok t1_jdjs790 wrote

Boston might be pro-trans but it is also extremely anti-wallet, keep that in mind.


jmcflynn33 t1_jdk19mm wrote

it’s getting weird out there. absolutely come to MA, we got your back homie. Personally I’d recommend Salem (bias: live there and love it).


BestCaseSurvival t1_jdktdrf wrote

I lived in Salem for a year, less than a mile from the city center. If I could take the entire month of October to live anywhere else, I’d love it there.


the-court-house t1_jdk11ky wrote

MA is trans-friendly. It's by no means perfect (no place ever will be), but you'll find support here. I live in Plymouth, one of the few places to have a Republican representative in the State House, and yet I pass multiple LGBT+ flags on my 3 mile commute. The oldest church in town (and oldest Parish in the country) flys the same flag.


the-court-house t1_jdk16e5 wrote

And if I may add, if you two come to MA - welcome!

Lastly, enjoy this political ad from 2018:


tasareinspace t1_jdk86zv wrote

That ad is literally my favorite piece of masshole culture.


S_thyrsoidea t1_jdkzj64 wrote

It remains awesome, but somebody's gonna need to subtitle it for the OP. 🤣


LackingUtility t1_jdkes7g wrote

The Mass Supreme Judicial Court found a right to gay marriage in our state constitution a decade before the Supreme Court found it in the US constitution. Things are unlikely to go backwards here.


ItsMeTK t1_jdnmsr1 wrote

> The Mass Supreme Judicial Court found created a right to gay marriage in our state constitution



LackingUtility t1_jdnnveh wrote

No, you didn’t. It has always been in there, they just finally realized it. “Creating” a right would require changing the text via an amendment.


ItsMeTK t1_jdnqg0e wrote

Nah, it’s like when Roberts created the Obamacare mandate by saying it would be legal if they called it a tax. So they suddenly decided to call it a tax and bam we were saddled with unconstitutional extortion for decades.

Or when the House capped their number at 435 because it didn’t technically violate the text, while overlooking the whole spirit of representative government by population.

Or when SCOTUS created a right to abortion in Roe and later in Casey (which Dobbs has since stated was created, and thus struck down).


LackingUtility t1_jdnque1 wrote

Agreed on the first two, except that the ACA was created by republicans.

And Dobbs reversed over a hundred years of precedent. It’s a bad decision, poorly reasoned, and will go down in history with Dred Scott.


Icy-Neck-2422 t1_jdjh8c4 wrote

If you can afford it you'll be just fine.


80sGhostProtocol t1_jdk8l8c wrote

Escaped from the Midwest last year. Even as a straight couple, we recognize that this place is safe for the LGBTQ+. No place is perfect, but...

Run. Run before it's too late. We will welcome you here. We're stronger with you.


dskippy t1_jdkdbw5 wrote

This is a very LGBT friendly place. I think the vast majority of the greater Boston area would love to have you. This is not going to change in the next four years, it's only getting better. Especially if you come and help.

Let me put in a pitch for my town, Somerville, which is a great place to live. We have a history of being extremely progressive and productive on protection for LGBT rights. We also just a few days also past a few bit of legislation protecting polyamorous family units as well. There are rainbow flags all over the place and businesses as well as homes.

Jamaica Plain and Cambridge are also pretty great but honestly I can't think of any place that would be a bad place to be queer in Boston.

One thing to know about Boston that most people don't know if they aren't from here is that we are a very old city and thus the town, city, district lines are drawn very small. This is a bit pedantic but it's worth understanding. It means that there are many places in Boston that are effectively part of the city (mid range urban, plenty of public transit, walkable, etc) that are technically different towns legally. So if you're thinking "oh we'd rather be in a city, not outside of Boston" just know that in most other American cities, Somerville, Cambridge, Watertown, Everett, Newtown, and a dozen others would all just be Boston.

If you like a quieter slower pace and more rural areas, western mass and places like north Hampton and Pittsfield are beautiful and very queer as well.

Anyway, welcome. You should come here. It's great and we will all probably like you.


codes_witching t1_jdkkrg0 wrote

I'm trans and live in Central Mass. I feel safe at all times, I feel accepted and a sense of belonging at work (IT department of a large Boston based company) and I see people like us when I'm out in the world.

Last summer I was teaching my kid to swim at Walden and saw a group of twenty something trans folk having the time of their lives, swimming and laughing and filled with joy.

It was the moment I realized how much better my life had gotten since moving up here.


reaper412 t1_jdkcm2z wrote

Boston is great if you like not having money. On a serious note, I'd be in complete shock if the state did a 180 and became against trans.


sunnybcg t1_jdjpg9u wrote

A friend of mine works at GLAD in Boston. Send me a PM if you’re interested in being connected to discuss your concerns. ♥️


kmclibra t1_jdjt9ei wrote

I live in the pioneer valley and it is a very welcoming community. Check out Hampshire County for housing, etc. way more bang for your buck out here than closer to Boston and the coastal towns.


ayendae1125 t1_jdm6k1w wrote

queer person and lifelong mass resident here. a few thoughts:

  • some people will make comments to you that are offensive. most of the time they're trying to be funny and may not be educated enough on trans issues to know they're being genuinely hurtful. people in massachusetts speak in "go fuck yourself," and sometimes that involves punching down. don't take it as anything more than banter and throw it back in their face.

  • there will always be transphobes, anywhere. massachusetts is safer than most other places for lgbt people, but don't get your hopes up that absolutely everybody in the state will be lovely to you all the time. generally speaking we keep to ourselves and don't care, but not always. it's easier to be queer in mass than anywhere else, but it will still be difficult at times. a lot of the comments here are about how wonderfully queer-friendly this state is - which is true! - but it's still good to approach it with at least some caution.

  • as for can relax on that front. even state republicans tend to be much more progressive than their counterparts anywhere else in the country.

  • you will see republicans. you will see qanon nutjobs. you will see a discouraging number of thin blue line flags. there's lunatics anywhere. personally i think that the conservative lunatics tend to be loud with the pro-trump imagery in massachusetts to "own the libs", which gives the illusion that there are more right wingers than there actually are. there might be some people who swing more conservative than their neighbors, but the actual conspiracy theory lunatics tend to be clustered into little pockets. there are much less of those people here than there would be in somewhere like texas.

  • boston is expensive. you might look at the northampton area. iirc there are a good amount of queer bars and basement bands in the worcester area.

the sad fact as a trans person is that nowhere is 100% safe, 100% accepting, or 100% free. but! massachusetts is much safer, much more accepting, and much freer on queer issues than the rest of the country. there's transphobic assholes just about anywhere, but you should not get discouraged by it if you move to massachusetts. here, at least, they don't speak for the rest of the state. it can be easy to get discouraged, but there are many things up here to love. and while you'll have to both work fairly hard for housing - shit's expensive up here - you can be happy and comfortable. good luck to both of you!! if you have questions, reach out i'll do my best to answer them. ❤️❤️


femtoinfluencer t1_jdnq92s wrote

Rightoids feel the need to be extra diligent and plaster thin blue line flags all over their property here because they know they're outnumbered.


aPirateNamedBeef t1_jdjgiyh wrote

You should be fine living just about anywhere in the state, especially in a town or city of any size. (if you are looking at smaller rural town, it may be more of an issue, but even those are generally considerably more liberal than the rest of the country as whole)

I would be mostly concerned with jobs and the general amenities of the area where you want to live. And of course the cost of living is high, so budget is always a big concern here.


kboc923 t1_jdk41gg wrote

Just wanted to say welcome to MA!


MissIz t1_jdkb6jd wrote

I live in a rural red town with only a few liberal families like mine, and you would be very accepted here. Good luck in your relocation.


tstop22 t1_jdkedww wrote

Somerville welcomes you. As long as you can somehow afford to live here.


blounge87 t1_jdksmx0 wrote

Move to Northampton, it’s a little lesbian city in central MA. Massachusetts legalized gay marriage when I was 8yrs old and has never backslide on any protections for us. I’m 27 now


Relative_Professor48 t1_jdmud85 wrote

Northampton is Western mass. It’s in Hampshire county which is one of the few counties in western mass lol


Relative_Professor48 t1_jdn2dl7 wrote

Instead of deleting your comment where you’re very obviously wrong just edit your post bro


johnny_cash_money t1_jdmafan wrote

Others have done the heavy lifting but I'll add a few thoughts I haven't seen so far.

The governor is a married lesbian and it literally wasn't in the general conversation during the election. Maybe I live under a rock but I didn't know that about her until after the race was called.

We've been seeing periodic demonstrations by right-wing hate groups. Most memorably last year's Southie parade. They weren't welcome and importantly, someone tracked them down... They came from out-of-state. THEY ARE NOT US. Some asshole tried to start a rally on the Common (note: singular) a couple years ago and his crew of about 20 ran away when faced with thousands of angry counterprotestors. They lasted minutes. It would be laughable if it wasn't such a terrible cause.

We don't generally go for megachurches. Religion around here is something done privately if at all.

The most hate you're going to get is if you wear orange in a bar on March 17, wear a Yankees hat ever, or drive slowly, especially in the left lane. Avoid those behaviors and you'll be fine.


CoffeeContingencies t1_jdmh9pj wrote

The Catholic religion used to be huge here before the priests started diddling little boys. It’s dwindled to almost nothing in the last 15-20 years.


Shelburnite t1_jdk0c0x wrote

Lots of people moving to the state for the same reason. So demand for housing is high. goodluck finding anything reasonable anywhere near Boston. Check out western mass rent isn't as insane and the pioneervalley is very progressive.


cowleidoscope t1_jdk1h3m wrote

Overall MA is a liberal state so for laws I certainly feel safe. With that said, shitty people are everywhere. My partner knows I've been gradually getting more uncomfortable visiting his family (south of Boston) because a few members clearly don't think I have the right to exist.

A lot of people have said pioneer valley is good, which I think is accurate. I'm in the hilltowns so I probably have some neighbors who'd hate me if they knew but it's not like we talk much. My doctors are all okay with me, I feel safe picking up HRT, and I'm comfortable dealing with my customers so overall I'm happy with the state of things.


theseventhgemini t1_jdkle76 wrote

As a fellow trans and bi person who has lived here over 25 years and also spent some time in the South; I feel measurably safer. There are pockets of transphobia and bigotry but unfortunately that's the state of most places. I've managed to be safe here and find a community and friends.

As far as the future goes, I'm hopefully my girlfriend and I can one day raise a family. Massachusetts is not a perfect place but a better one for trans people than most other states.

As other commentors have said it is expensive and the closer you are to Boston, the more expensive it will be.


IRunOverThings t1_jdkq73m wrote

Provincetown MA (eastern side on the ocean) and North Hampton MA (western side in a valley near the mountains) are both some of the most LGBTQ friendly places in the US. They are both insanely fun. I've lived in both throughout my life and I visit both often. They both have a great night life, restaurants, music, & theater scene. They both have bike trails and lots of dogs. North Hampton is more affordable but Provincetown is surrounded by beautiful beaches. You can't go wrong with either. If you need something more affordable I recommend one of the surrounding towns for either (Hadley or Amherst near North Hampton and Eastham Wellfleet or Truro near Provincetown).


vases t1_jdky701 wrote

The Boston area has cities that have some more progressive policies than Boston itself. For example, Somerville just passed non-discrimination protections for polyamorous relationships. So there are some areas that are more accepting and progressive than others, but I think that most of the Boston area will be trans inclusive


godzilla_dropkick t1_jdl48bn wrote

I think it's all relative based on where you are coming from. I was raised in AL. By comparison, anywhere in MA is paradise. I'm in the Merrimack Valley area and love it, I have never felt unsafe.

If you have an questions, hit me up. My partner & I made a similar move last year. Politically, I don't see anything changing in terms of LGBTQ rights; it's why we came here.


kdall7 t1_jdl4s5c wrote

You will be safe here. Come! You’re welcome here. Western Mass is more affordable than Boston, but it depends on what you’re looking for. Take a peek at the Amherst/Northampton area and see what you think


AtmosphereNo4389 t1_jdn3s2k wrote

Hi! Hi! HI!

Mom of a trans kid here. It’s amazing for trans people and trans kids. You will run into random bigots of course, because it’s not a utopia. But consider this: our trans protections came under a Republican Governor who supported it.

We do not fuck around with human rights here. And we will always have a dem legislature who will protect our people. And I’m in the burbs.

My kid is safe. The schools make it safe for them. I could ask for very little more.


niagaracalls t1_jdjpwv6 wrote

Massachusetts is certainly welcoming to the trans community. Something to take into consideration as you make a decision is cost of living. It is very expensive to live here especially if you would be considering purchasing a house. Western MA is a bit better but still higher then most parts of the country.


Laszlo-Panaflex t1_jdjxzrt wrote

I'm cis and straight, but at least from my standpoint, it will continue to be a very LGBTQ-friendly city and I don't expect the pro-trans status of it to change at any point in the near future. We are perhaps the most deeply liberal state and have a very "live and let live" philosophy. There are certainly assholes like anywhere, but I feel like you'd come across far more people who are accepting and especially in comparison to other parts of the country (not sure where you'd be moving from).

I agree with other commenters that there are certain pockets of conservatism, but you'd be unlikely to end up in any of them. They're mostly small rural-ish towns. I also agree with other commenters that P-Town and some of the towns in Western MA are worth looking at from a cost perspective. Boston is where it's at culturally, though, so keep that in mind.

And although it is expensive AF to live in the Greater Boston area, salaries are also higher.


BeeGravy t1_jdk48ty wrote

The biggest issue in MA is the cost of living. You need to be making +40 an hour full time to afford a "fair market value" rental near the city.

Depending where you end up, the cost will vary a little bit, but overall it's just a pricey state, and the cheap rents are going to be in dumpy places.

I dont see any legislation changing any time soon.

And as long as you're decent people you'll be fine.

And depending what you do foe work/hobbies/fun there isn't much night life outside of like Boston and Worcester. Springfield and Holyoke are pretty unpleasant areas. The cape is great if you can afford it.

It's a mixed bag state, there's some nice progressive aspects, and MA health is a cool program, but the cost of living, the housing market, the drug epidemic, winter, the very anti gun rights bs, all suck ass. Other parts of New England are better, some are worse (cough Connecticut cough) but overall I mean, a shitty part of mass is definitely way less violent than southern cities.

If you're in tech, or pursuing higher learning or in the medical fields there is lots to find up here.

Good luck on the move


HyruleJedi t1_jdk5za9 wrote

Not sure where you are, but moving to new england is expensive as hell

My wife and I bring in over 200k a year and moving there would be tough.

Just a thought


legalpretzel t1_jdkfbdw wrote

My partner and I make just over $120/year and we live quite comfortably in Worcester. Our mortgage is about equal to what we were paying for rent in Boston in 2013.


HyruleJedi t1_jdkqmee wrote

Again you’re not coming from out of state

Or out of region for that matter

You have to start understanding, that relocating to New England, even as someone that grew up in private school country club CT (i went to pomfret, then Phillips) is VERY DIFFERENT than packing up and relocating there


SpindriftRascal t1_jdk99li wrote

You are welcome here. Boston will be the best overall (not counting cost), because of the large population, varied services, and diverse culture. We also have especially welcoming communities elsewhere, like out west in the Berkshires, and all the way east in Provincetown. There are surely others I don’t know about. State law is favorable.

I am a straight, white male and there’s a lot I don’t know. But I know this: we don’t tolerate bigotry. I’m very proud of our state. We were first in equal marriage. All humans are welcome, and are protected by our state law.

Join us.


XVOS t1_jdkaauj wrote

  1. No, definitely not.

  2. Most of the state is, obviously there are smaller places with historically famous queer scenes as well (Provincetown for example).

  3. I would consider Boston as an area for your purposes, Boston itself is very small for historical reasons. It is also very expensive, in a very expensive state. Youve said nothing about your finances but this might be a concern. MA is great in my view, outside of cost of living. You’ll like it.


meerkatydid t1_jdkah0w wrote

Massachusetts will never betray you! Boston and the surrounding area is wonderful but expensive. As with anywhere, consider the local politics of the place you move. I live in a wonderful city, but a city nearby is full of awful local politics (racism, sexism, anti-trans rhetoric galore) so please be selective.


ItsMeTK t1_jdnma9j wrote

> Massachusetts will never betray you!

Untrue. We have religious freedom enshrined in our constitution and yet they banned people from going to church in 2020. That was a betrayal.


meerkatydid t1_jdnx818 wrote

Hmmm your politics seem like garbage.


ItsMeTK t1_jdnymw1 wrote

Read Article II of the state constitution. It says explicitly that the government will not infringe on any man’s right to worship however he chooses. That’s not politics, it’s the blasted law.


BlaineBMA t1_jdkc54k wrote

There's no way our Governor would sign an anti-gay or anti-trans anything. Not gonna happen.

As far as the best place to live, there are a lot of great places to live. I love the cape, Boston/Cambridge/Somerville are all quite safe but $$$$$. Northampton/Amherst are amazing, a lot more affordable, and have really good access to New York City.


Conscious_Home_4253 t1_jdkc5ui wrote

I am of no help but I do know of a wonderful trans advocate here in Massachusetts, that may be able to answer some of your questions. She has publicly spoken alongside Senator Warren, too.

Her Twitter bio and handle is below.

@mimislemay Mom x 3, trans rights advocate, author “What We Will Become: A Mother, A Son and a Journey of Transformation,” opinions mine


MethamphetamineWater t1_jdkcvq3 wrote

I'm gonna preface with this I'm not from Boston, I'm from the western half of the state but have been out there a good amount times so I think I have a decent understanding of the city.

  1. I don't think we're gonna see much of a change in the near future negatively for LGTBQ+ rights, so you're good (don't quote me on that, shit can happen fast but is extremely unlikely to)
  2. I've never heard that it is, I thought it was Las Angeles, California, a better place to move, if you're moving for work, at least, would be somewhere on the outskirts of Boston, if you're not moving for work anywhere else other than like Springfield would be a good move.
  3. Haven't heard anything bad or good about the city in recent years, traffic can get hairy though.

GuinnessACat t1_jdkfayw wrote

For Boston itself, i think you are totally fine anywhere. South end has historically been queer friendly, but honestly I think you’ll be welcome anywhere in the city. I was also raised in Tennessee, so my brain is always happy shocked when I see anyone not being a total ass


CookiePneumonia t1_jdkj1uw wrote

I can't imagine things changing for the worse in MA, so you should be good. Hope you'll be happy here!


mjf617 t1_jdkrzyf wrote

It's probably the best place you can move, as fast as your rights. And there are a ton of other reasons, tbh. But it's also insanely expensive here. You should keep that in consideration.


anotherbabydaddy t1_jdkvhz0 wrote

Boston is pretty safe for our community HOWEVER the cost of living is outrageous.


fadeanddecayed t1_jdl1cjv wrote

The Pioneer Valley (Hampshire & Franklin County) is wonderful EXCEPT that housing is disproportionately expensive both to rent and buy.


Missmunkeypants95 t1_jdlhai7 wrote

I don't see any anti LGBTQ+ legislation happening here. We're quite progressive. We the first to legalize same sex marriage, we were early on decriminalizing then legalizing marijuana, our Governor is signing a pledge with other blue state governors to protect women's bodily autonomy, and we have Provincetown. You're going to love Provincetown.

Boston is a bit pricey but we also have the western part of the state with a few colleges that's a very progressive area. I loved out there for a year in the 90s and even back then, it was very welcoming.


rcieefb t1_jdmpsqd wrote

I’ve found all of MA, not just Boston, to be very accepting and pro queer. However, the cost of living is insane. Absolutely wild, and not affordable for most… If you don’t mind living in a less urban area I’d recommend the south coast due to cost of living. We have the same laws and you can always make a day trip to the city. Or if you really want a true semi walkable urban city, Providence in RI is much more affordable and has a lot of the same cultural and legislative protections, since they tend to pass laws a year or two after we do.


Flat_Caterpillar_342 t1_jdmsswk wrote

Somerville, MA right outside of Boston is very LGBTQ+ friendly and has a large social scene for the community


Small-Builder3855 t1_jdm4hck wrote

Spent half of my growing up years in South Lancaster (which is probably one of the more conservative towns in the state), the other half in Warwick (it has a population of 750). My parents and their friends were mostly republican/conservative minded, but when we kids started noticing some of friends were LGBTQ+ our parents made it very clear that all people are people, and people love each other. That was pretty much it. In comparison I live in Indiana now and one of my republican coworkers participated in “gay hunts” as a teen (I didn’t ask for specifics on that; figured it was probably best not to know).

Massachusetts is one of the best places to live anyway, but it’s also very accepting of all people that can drive to our standards. The culture may be a little shocking; it’s been said that the west coast is polite but not nice and the east coast isn’t polite but is nice. We will help you with anything but will find every possible iteration of stupid known to humanity and call you it. Just brace yourself.


CoffeeContingencies t1_jdmhypy wrote

As an alternative, Rhode Island, particularly Providence, is incredibly progressive and LGBTQIA+ friendly. It’s about an hour from Boston and has an MBTA commuter rail. It also has a significantly lower cost of living than the Greater Boston Areas in Massachusetts (it is still considered the GBA)


Sayoria t1_jdmoy79 wrote

I'm trans (and bi) as well. I've worked as a volunteer of BAGLY back in 2017 (an LGBT youth group) and I'll say, I don't feel safer going anywhere else than this state. I love Massachusetts.

BAGLY was so closely tied with the Massachusetts government.... and they are run by a trans woman. I remember Elizabeth Warren marching with us in the Pride Parade. It was pretty rad. Our voting has only gotten more blue and the only changes I think that would occur would be at the national level.

We have a hospital here that is pretty much an LGBT hospital, not that all the hospitals here aren't. Fenway Health prides itself on being an LGBT healthcare facility, and it's really cool too.

The MassTPC (Trans political coalition) is a group that fights for our rights. Back when I came out 7-ish years ago, I kept in contact with the trans guy who ran it, and he helped me get the help I needed to transition. I marched with then in Pride one year and they had Sonia Chang-Diaz marching with us.... lesser known at a global level, but another state politician. The massTPC are a great resource for us and are very supported by the state.

First Event is a transgender convention we have in this state too, where people all over come, speak, and support one another.

My own personal experience has been that I go into Boston every so-amount of Tuesdays and I've never had any issues. Ever thankfully. When it comes down to it, we might be non-talkative assholes here, but we aren't hateful. I feel very comfortable here and I thank everyone that makes Massachusetts an amazing state.

Lastly, lol at the housing situation. I do hope you can afford it. This state's housing problem does kill the hope of a lot of migrating people to move here. It's very expensive.


toadstoolfae3 t1_jdmtsf5 wrote

I live in between Boston and providence, with friends in providence, and I can tell you providence feels safer and more LGBT+ friendly. Boston is much bigger and has some areas where I wouldn't feel as safe. That's just my own opinion and experience, and I'm sure others feel differently.


BroccoliKnob t1_jdo8pcw wrote

Just here to echo what everyone else is saying. Any legislative backward movement on LGBTQ+ issues and Beacon Hill would burn to the ground within days.

Of course we have shitstick people too, but they’re generally self-confined to the kind of places you’d expect to find them. Any moderately sized population center is likely to be very welcoming, and politically, the fuckups have nowhere near the numbers needed to move the needle in the state house.

Also it really is expensive as fuck…like not-even-2 steps-behind-NYC-expensive.


BessieBest t1_jdqhm6q wrote

About #3: Are you rich? That's really the main concern.


DeliPaper t1_jdrkf0f wrote

>1) if the pro-trans status is expected to change in the (especially near) future. In four years will this still be in place?

The only thing I can see impacting that is a major incident occurring in-state, like how California briefly flipped red after the PG&E scandal. You run that risk anywhere, though.

>2) if Boston is the most LGBT friendly city? is there a better place to move for safety or even just in general? 3) is moving to Boston right now a good idea?

Depends on the areas. You'd have better luck in Easthampton or Northampton, probably. But not Westhampton. Worcester County is not recommended. Worcester hates anything Boston likes, to a borderline irrational degree


Salemman19 t1_jdsyroq wrote

Salem, Ma is a great location too!


Aminilaina t1_jdk5hnw wrote

I’m a bisexual woman in an openly sapphic relationship with a lesbian and my found-brother is a trans man. I’ll actually tag him ( u/evan-unit-01) and he can talk more about trans healthcare in MA, because I know he really loved the resources he got here. And he could definitely touch on what being trans in MA is like.

Being openly queer has never caused a single issue for my gf and I. We can go anywhere and do anything a normal couple would and no body bats an eye.

The only caveat is that MA, and especially Boston is very very expensive to live in.


[deleted] t1_jdn3ole wrote



TurninWrenchez t1_jdpqvc6 wrote

Are you insinuating they can’t afford housing?


ItsMeTK t1_jdqi0x7 wrote

No I’m saying people moving here from out of state will take housing away from people already struggling. And the more demand surpasses supply the more prices will increase.


TurninWrenchez t1_jdqq4sa wrote

Well personally i’d rather someone move here to get out of a bad situation than have their rights stripped away so 2 less people move into a state of 7 million people


Itchy-Marionberry-62 t1_jdk679i wrote

I would say Lawrence, Brockton or Lynn would be ideal for you.


hampsterlamp t1_jdjgd16 wrote

Boston can vary wildly depending what section you’re in as to what kind of people you’ll run into. Ranging from the most loving and accepting people you’ll ever meet to the biggest bigot north of Delaware.

North shore (north of Boston) seems to lean more liberal/accepting.

South shore (south of Boston) tends to lean more conservative the further down you go.

Metro west (just west of Boston) I’ve never heard anything positive or negative about these people. As far as I can tell every road and highway out there has been under construction my entire adult life so everyone just stays home or takes the T into Boston.

Cape cod is very town specific, but the end of the cape p-town I remember being joked about as the gayest town in the US when we made gay marriage legal.

Everything west of 495 doesn’t actually exist.


Adventurous_Hour5475 t1_jdjjqf1 wrote

Mass is fine with gay, but not trans people imo. My ftm friend recently moved because of it. He said anytime he goes to the doctor here they essentially question him sanity. Multiple docs. Restaurants will drag their feet seating him if they know. People constantly ask him dumb questions about parts. He said it’s pretty dreadful and is moving back to CA. He didn’t realize how socially conservative a lot of folks here are……he didn’t realize MA was so Catholic and conservative in many ways regarding alcohol, nudity, places closed on Sunday, people still go yo church, the cannabis places are forced to jump through hoops, the conservative manner in which gay folks dressed, and virtually no one gets divorced compared to what he was used to…..what shocked him the most was the ambivalence or even acceptance of all these things. People would say, that’s the way we do it and wouldn’t even try to change things because they seem to like it that way. Even gay allies most of who seemed like Pete Buttigieg clones.

Generally he felt marginalized and out of place here. (Edited correcting pronoun errors)


pinkrosxen OP t1_jdjl0r7 wrote

maybe ur friend doesn't care genuinely. but. if u meet another trans person they might, even if u knew them 'before.' if u had the foresight to say 'i know my pronouns r all over the place' then u have the ability to go back & edit ur message. It's part of practice & making it less confusing. And leaving a message like this where it comes across as misgendering & then excusing it on a trans safety specific question makes me genuinely uncomfy.


whooobaby t1_jdk2v0h wrote

Maybe cannabis places have to jump through hoops but is there a place where they don’t? At least we have it available to anyone