It’s Boston. We don’t give a fuck about what anyone does, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. Now, I’m not saying you’ll feel welcomed with open arms—but that has nothing to do with your gender identity. We’re just prickly.

You and your partner will be/feel safe. The vast majority of people here, that don’t understand orientation and gender identity issues, still see you as humans. And because of our history pertaining to authoritative overreach, our population isn’t going to tolerate a society that legislates your humanity. That’s where our concept of “toleration” ends and begins.

Oh—and our love language is roasting the shit out of each other. If someone does that to you, roast yourself better than they did, then give it back. If it’s witty and said with a smile, you become one of the tribe. Self-deprecation and sarcasm are our native tongue. If we’re fucking with you, it’s bc that’s how we express camaraderie.

P.S. Vermont is for beer, crafts, antiques, skiing, and radical leftist protests. NH is for menthols, cheap booze (especially their amazing beer), and Trump voters too liberal for the south. Maine is for Lobstahs, Floridaman-North characters, and beer. Rhode Island is for Italian food, old New England grime, and killah beer. Connecticut (they’re dead to us) is finance bros, the best pizza on the planet, and beer. Mass…well, we’re the hub of the universe. You’ll understand after you get here, and have had a few beers (they’re amazing).

Dress in layers, expect autumn to blow your mind, order your Dunks iced…all year. If someone shovels out street parking in the winter, they will put a space saver in that spot—If you move it to park there, your car will be annihilated, and the community will turn against you. This isn’t an exaggeration-don’t do it. Avoid Greek pizza. North Shore Roast Beefs are the pinnacle of culinary expression, and are to be ordered as follows: Super Beef, 3-way, onion roll. Sox, Pats, Bruins, Celts; they are our religion.

Enjoy your new (England) home, in the best region in the US. Welcome to Boston, and go fuck yourself.