Submitted by TapAffectionate9434 t3_10bayh2 in massachusetts
I've been googling for God knows how long now for stuff about age of consent here and it seems completely vague everywhere I can find. As somebody above 16 and under 18, what can i and can't I do? Some places I've seen literally say I can't have an "intimate" relationship with someone my age but CAN with someone over 18?? Somebody please explain (Throwaway bc duh)
Laws are interesting in that people often misinterpret what they say. While it might be nitpicking, what laws often say is what you can not do rather than what you can do.
As an example, you will read people who say the law says the age of consent it 16, but in reality it doesn't say that at all. It instead says no one under 16 can legally consent to sex. Again, perhaps nitpicking but the law doesn't actually say you can consent if you are 16+. But only a court can rule that you were able to give consent at age 16 since it isn't explicitly stated in the law.
So essentially, under 15 is off limits no matter what, and once 16 is hit its essentially no bounds?
So it's intentionally vague for that gap in between 16 and 18
So either you're a 17 year old girl who wants to have sex with some 26 yo guy or you're a 17 yo guy who wants to hook up with a 15 year old girl.
You're extremely unlikely to get in any trouble either way but I would advise against it regardless.
or I'm a 17 year old guy who wants to stay with my boyfriend who turns 18 this week
Guy. Don’t don’t do it.
Find a girl your own age
not how you think it is. In a relationship where my boyfriend is coming of age a good chunk before I am
Knowing the exact details of age of consent laws is like knowing exactly how much rat feces you're allowed to serve customers at your restaurant.
If you need to walk that line you're probably doing something fucked up and you know it.
Dude, why are you attacking me? I fucking hate pedos as much as you do. I got groomed when I was 16 I'd shoot one if i could
Yea because pedos don't pretend to be children online so we can totally believe you.
Alright yeah you have absolutely nothing to worry about. You're overthinking this.
My girlfriend in High School turned 18 a few months before I did. It's not illegal and nobody is going to care.
Thing is my parents are Mega homophobic and know about the whole thing so I'm worried they might try to press charges against him for statutory rape
It's not statutory rape and no police department and especially no District Attorney in Massachusetts is going to waste their time no matter what your parents try to do.
Call the DAs office and ask them yourself if you're still worried about it. They're probably going to laugh.
Sorry to hear about your situation though. Sounds hard.
Yep. Although just to clarify, under 16 is off limits (so 15 years and 364 days is a no-go, but 16 years and 0 days is totally fine, lol).
Under 16.
There's something to be said about already having been in a relationship with someone who's 15, in your grade, maybe, but I think the law's the law. That said, it's not like people are keeping an eye on you like that, and people know kids at that age are in an odd position.
I thought 18 was the age of consent?
So if two 15 year olds have sex there both guilty of rapeing each other?
Most of the laws are written so that there is a "Romeo and Juliette" clause and if you are within a year of each others age then it's O.K. What state are you in?
In that situation you’re fine, he’s fine. If anyone is giving you grief over it they’re mistaken. Also these laws are to clarify what is abuse of children, not hassle young people in relationships. Example : an 18 year old and a 13 year old “dating” is not a relationship, it’s child abuse. A 16 year old and an 18 year old dating is a relationship. I was married as a teenager in Massachusetts to a slightly older man and this was a constant topic for people around me.
Edit: after reading further and seeing that you’re concerned about homophobe parents lashing out at your bf, again; you are completely fine. Anyone trying to start trouble for either of you and basing it on sexual abuse ( which is what they’d be claiming) is going to be ignored.
Absolute worst case scenario is a cop knocks on the door to make sure a child isn’t being abused, which happened to me, it’s their job and if it’s called in super vaguely they might (“my teenage son is staying with some older man”) Most likely though they’d ask your parents how old you are and tell them you can stay wherever you’d like at 17 years old.
I have a hunch
Nah… there is nothing illegal about two people 16 or over having sex in MA. This guy is being weirdly and incorrectly pedantic.
From the state website:
Your homophobic parents can’t do ANYTHING to your boyfriend if you are 16 and he is 18 and you have sex. Nothing.
But they could still ground you, take your money & property bc you are underage, etc. You are legally allowed to have sex with your boyfriend in MA. Just remember they can still be parents until you are 18. But I’d start making plans to get out now; start saving in a place they can’t get to.
[removed]
You can have sex with anyone over 16. You can not have sex with anyone under 16.
Thank you! This is exactly the response I've been looking for haha. Yeah parents suck and I've been planning on moving in with him for some time
Something no one is saying is it also depends on the parents. My girlfriend and I in college had a 2 year age gap and I hit the age where consent was an issue. I even had a cop try to arrest me over it - forced me to drive her home and her parents basically yelled at him. We had been dating for over a year at that point.
So glad I can help! r/raisedbynarcissists may not be the right sub for you; I have no idea what type of sucky parents you have. But you can find resources on how to prep to move out at 18 on that sub
Here's a sneak peek of /r/raisedbynarcissists using the top posts of the year!
#1: My 12 year old niece picked up on how toxic nmom (her grandma) actually is
#2: People that come from dysfunctional, abusive, unstable households are at such a disadvantage compared to those that grew up in healthy families. And I don’t think that’s talked about nearly enough.
#3: I recited my childhood story to my nmom but changed our names and pretended to be asking for advice for my “traumatized friend”. Her response was amazing…
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That's AMAZING omg :0 I did not expect this level of help from asking about consent laws😭
In most states, including MA, it’s 16.
In CA, two 15yo having sex are both guilty of a misdemeanor unless they’re married to each other. I don’t know whether CA recognizes marriages of people that young even if they were legally married elsewhere. But they don’t call it rape. They call it “unlawful sexual intercourse”.
People with sucky parents should help each other out 😊
Statutory
You might also get advice from r/askgaybros. But search first, since these sort of questions occur frequently. When last I checked, they were often overly protective, advising teens to avoid doing anything that risks getting thrown out of the house.
But this is the Massachusetts sub, and I assume both you and your bf live in MA. We’re lucky to be in what’s probably the most gay-supportive state in the US. Are there any resources at school? If you’re close to Boston, are you aware of Bagly? (I don’t actually know how good Bagly is; I’m just used to seeing them at the annual pride march.)
With the teen pregnancy rate there must be a lot of convictions,I had always thought those underage were free to frolic with those underage.
> It instead says no one under 16 can legally consent to sex. Again, perhaps nitpicking but the law doesn't actually say you can consent if you are 16+.
That’s actually not what the law in MA says for this. It’s possible that some other states word it that way, but usually they don’t talk about consent. They just say it’s illegal to have sex with someone below a given age and it’s illegal to forcibly have sex with anyone. In MA, curiously, it does mention consent with regard to indecent assault on a child under 14, and courts will often say that the minor can’t consent or the consent isn’t a defense.
Here’s what the law in MA actually says: https://www.mass.gov/info-details/massachusetts-law-about-sex#child-under-16- . Don’t get confused by the quotes from courts nor by the law for indecent assault on someone under 14.
It’s almost never enforced. Usually it’s pressure from the parents that would cause a prosecution.
Usually, but not in Mass. And given the sub...
You have nothing to worry about. Go live your life.
Anyone 16+ is legally allowed with any age?
Away-Reading t1_j49aro5 wrote
The age of consent is 16, and there is no law about age differences, so you can have sex with anyone else who is 16 or older. You cannot, however, have sex with someone who is under 16, period. A lesser charge of “consensual” statutory rape isn’t a thing here — you’d be charged with rape of a child (punishable by up to life in prison and being forced to register as a sex offender).