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ProtestTheJake t1_iybnjyj wrote

Wow my penis penis looks exactly like Dave Grohl! Cool!

153

YorMommysHoney t1_iyc1gp4 wrote

My penis looks like Snoop Dogg. Woah

25

Th3Ch33t t1_iybntox wrote

Bruh, you shouldn't sit down on a toilet that's about to overflow.

146

dwwzzh t1_iyf2o3y wrote

Maybe op has a super long penis

1

bradndally t1_iybptgi wrote

My weiners not long enough to touch the water...

133

Lefonky t1_iydvgga wrote

If your not American then it’s not surprising as they have stupidly high toilet water

13

OnlyAWildOne t1_iyeh7rp wrote

Tf are you talking about? Lmao

7

BloodyPommelStudio t1_iyewwwn wrote

American toilets use a siphonic system which relies on higher pressure from having a higher water level. It has a number of benefits but is more likely to clog.

4

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iybpvzu wrote

You lucky bastard

−101

SecretlyADegenerate t1_iyc24sd wrote

Can someone tell me why he got downvoted? Did people get offended by having small dicks?

27

justAman1248 t1_iyc313x wrote

Because op is clearly making this meme to tell everyone he has a huge dick, or that the water in his toilet is really high.

62

[deleted] t1_iycgcnl wrote

I didn’t think that and I don’t have huge by any measure and have had this happen before.

3

justAman1248 t1_iycigwy wrote

Then the water in your toilet is just high. My dick is quite above the average of my country and has never touched the water (mostly because it is small when flacid.)

2

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iyctu97 wrote

Same here. My penis is not huge, and have had this happen on multiple toilets. It has more to do with toilet shape and water level than anything, and people getting triggered by it is hilarious,

−2

OnlyFeetDragonBolZ t1_iycua3t wrote

Bro what fucking toilet has water up to your dick bruh 💀

15

Jits2003 t1_iydq69j wrote

how tiny is your ass for you to sit in the toilet instead of on the toilet

4

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iyctr5e wrote

Maybe they did. maybe i should invite them to r/littledicksolidarity where they can feel better about themselves

−2

Lord-of-Leviathans t1_iyc01vi wrote

My penis isn’t long enough when flaccid. Instead it’s so short it holds itself up and points forward. I have to use my hand to push it down so it doesn’t touch the toilet bowl when I sit.

29

EquivalentStorm8020 t1_iydf6d6 wrote

You have to hold it down anyway. When it’s longer it flips on the toilet bowl if you don’t and then you spray the sink

2

good_______boy t1_iybseyw wrote

You mean your balls… if your penis is touching the water you’re in a tub… even pornstars with the worlds longest dicks don’t touch the water they said, so don’t even pretend

6

No_Door_4306 t1_iybyspt wrote

I never had it that my dingdong touched the water but he touched the ceramic, depending on the shape of the toilet. Not a nice experience.

3

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iybtjhy wrote

I think it has more to do with bowl shape and water level than penis length. But I’m not lying or pretending.

My peen is rough average, and has dipped into the water/ flopped against the inside of the bowl when I was younger.

Elongated bowls are the worst.

−4

PlatinumIsAStand t1_iyd15gw wrote

I think you need to get your toilet checked shit's overflowing (maybe literally)

1

busterbrown78 t1_iybpxrq wrote

This is truly an awful experience

5

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iybq2su wrote

It’s just as bad as having the toilet paper tear and poop get on your finger.

−7

busterbrown78 t1_iybu9ay wrote

I maintain that there will never be a toilet paper that your finger can't break through. That's something that everybody can relate to.

5

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iybuba9 wrote

Yeah. I use wet wipes for that very reason higher durability

1

gurganator t1_iyc3tn5 wrote

You need to up your game to a bidet son. I haven’t had an itchy or burny asshole in I don’t know how long…

3

OnlyFeetDragonBolZ t1_iycucy3 wrote

Does it burn/itch after or not

1

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iycvh7j wrote

What my asshole? Actually yes. But only if I use specific wipes.

I hate to be all hail corporately but I have a sensitive asshole and there’s only one brand of wipes that doesn’t make my but get a bad rash. It’s waterwipes for me and my family.

1

Not_Derpy_Gherkin t1_iyc0v4b wrote

You either have a really long penis or the water is incredibly high in your toilet if your penis is really close to the water

4

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iycu5qh wrote

Only happens with a perfect storm of hot weather, and the wrong shaped bowl.

2

Will_Dawn t1_iybqmxv wrote

Or touches the turd!

3

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iybquxp wrote

Thankfully I’ve never had that happen.

It used to dip in the water right when I first sat down before there was ever any poop In There, then I’d flinch and pull up.

Life tip: pay a couple squares of tp across the seat and drape your penis over those to keep it out of the bowl

−3

Will_Dawn t1_iybrfy6 wrote

No need, I just hang the top part of my dick in the sink when I sit down to shit.

6

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iybrnr9 wrote

Smart thinking. Then you can pee at the same time without messing up your floor

2

MickeysLustForCum t1_iyc10v7 wrote

The real yucky feeling is when your weiner boops the underside of the toilet seat. You just know where’s old semi-wet piss under where

3

Cynnamath t1_iychvxd wrote

Simple solution: crap with a raging boner.

3

crazycakes329 t1_iybzx8u wrote

Cant confirm, penis not long enough

2

Blue-Arrow13 t1_iyc0vrr wrote

this just reminded me about the toilets in the sports club where i take swimming classes. Everytime I go to my classes i go to the bathroom and do my thing so i don't interrupt the class asking for permission, but something that triggers me is that the toilets have too much water, whish isn't really a problem, unless you are a person (me) who always pees sitting and not standing, and that the water is so high that you need to hold your fricking dick to not let it sink in that cold ass water

2

The_Rolling_Stones__ t1_iydbgnf wrote

It’s happened to me. And my cocks not abnormally large, it’s just that the water is high or ur ass is too far back on the toilet seat pointing ur cock downwards and towards the water. It’s a really gross feeling

2

IsItADickOrADildo t1_iydgqyc wrote

This is a problem I have never had but I will believe that this is a concurrent issue for a certain majority of people.

2

Fluffy_Ad6541 t1_iyfbeha wrote

As a girl I’ve always wondered about that... What happens when you guys poop? What if it touches the poop???

2

Makemyusernamecool t1_iybuxyx wrote

Wait do guys’ dingalings actually touch the water?? Surely not….there’s so much space above the water. Are these toilets your using clogged up? How can men not get as many UTIs as us if their urethras are constantly marinating in communal bacteria culture

1

HaloManSR71 t1_iybwq92 wrote

Your dick would have to be insanely big for it to touch the water in an average size toilet bowl, so no.

5

_Hobo-man_ t1_iycz9n2 wrote

I've personally never seen a toilet that's even come close. I just checked and for our toilets (fairly standard UK ones) you'd need like 8" to touch the ceramic when flaccid, and double that to hit the water.

Can't imagine having toilets built so that you're dick touches it . shudders

3

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iybv6uz wrote

It’s not every time or every toilet.

Has to be a perfect storm of toilet shape, water level, a hot day (you hang lower when it’s not cold) and sitting wrong (leaning forward a bit) if that makes sense.

1

Makemyusernamecool t1_iybvqni wrote

Is it less common than like Poseidon’s kiss?

1

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iycu3sf wrote

Yep, less common. But I have a fix for Poseidon’s kiss. Lay a couple squares of tp in the bowl to break surface tension in water. Turds will have drastically reduced splasjback

1

adventurouspenis t1_iyc046s wrote

how about when you sis there and your penis takes a seat too

1

nachardou4 t1_iyc1eo6 wrote

You need to have a dick SO HUGE for it to touch the toilet's water, damn.

1

Jirkousek7 t1_iyc2eis wrote

only benefit of a small pp

1

parodg15 t1_iyc2hc6 wrote

Why I’m glad my dick is a grower, not a shower. I don’t have such problems.

1

Giant-Iron1999 t1_iyc3oc5 wrote

Wait, you guys can relate? I thought it was a joke...

1

Cauldkiltbaws t1_iyc4hu8 wrote

Wait until you get old like me and it’s your balls testing the water temperature…it’s unnerving!!! 😂😂😂

1

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iycuczh wrote

My balls already hang insanely low but luckily this has never been a problem for me yet

2

Marco45_0 t1_iyc4sct wrote

You either have the longest penis in the world or your toilet is filled with water

1

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iycufhv wrote

Neither. It has more to do with hot room Temperature, being uncircumcised, and a shower not a grower

1

_Hobo-man_ t1_iyczn2n wrote

Bro I measure about 16" being needed to reach the water in my toilet, so I'm saying even if you have a big dick, the main factor is that the bowl is wierdly full

2

TheBanana93 t1_iycb8qq wrote

Either you have a massive flaccid dong or the toilet is blocked....

1

osuchi t1_iyccd8m wrote

I HAVE NO SUCH WEAKNESS.

1

Moppy_the_mop t1_iycd9p0 wrote

Is this some big penis joke I'm too small to understand?

1

Mother_Ad_1863 t1_iycda7h wrote

I would rather like to have this problem

1

Perfect_Fennel t1_iyce9wl wrote

I'm not a man so I've never even contemplated the possibility . It probably would make that face tho if it happened.

1

SKacsa t1_iycge70 wrote

Totally relatable

1

No_Arugula3195 t1_iycizlc wrote

shit fam, i just wrap it around my neck, having it touch the water or the ground is cold as hell

1

TheRekker1 t1_iycq8uo wrote

How long is your dick bro what the fuck?

1

killingmemesoftly OP t1_iycunoz wrote

Not that long. A little above average. But I’m a shower not a grower and when it’s hot it hangs pretty low.

Only happens on a couple toilets that are shaped badly.

1

Rusty-the-Rat t1_iyctbc7 wrote

This has never happen- I mean... Yeah... PP long, always dip in water

1

EthanIsaPickle1 t1_iycybzd wrote

I've no experience in this 😎...........damn😭

1

Ayush122221 t1_iyczk8v wrote

yep, definitely have a penis long enought to do that, definitely, sobs

1

Jake_The_Snake2003 t1_iyd2fd9 wrote

How high does your toilet water reach? American toilets don’t really have such an issue. If you’re an American, then I’m forced to wonder if you’re carrying a third leg down there.

1

ImDraconLion t1_iyd7nv0 wrote

if you’re hung like a horse

1

No-Attempt-8401 t1_iyd9i9j wrote

I never experience this. I don't know if this would be a compliment for me or an insult.

1

Oswaldthestegosaurus t1_iydbljk wrote

Very first time a reddit post made my penis feel uncomfortable

1

Umbertron05 t1_iydd1kp wrote

Is this some kind of big dick joke I’m too small dicked to understand?

1

hhfugrr3 t1_iydj79h wrote

I can't help thinking this is an American problem with your weirdly high toilet water levels

1

CeasarsLegionNV t1_iydjioa wrote

Bold of you to assume my penis is long enough to dangle.

1

Islandimus t1_iydjme8 wrote

just set your balls on the seat. Problem fixed.

1

Batdog55110 t1_iydkdll wrote

Is this some big Dick problem that my Penis is too small to understand?

1

Nerftuco t1_iydlu0a wrote

Bold of you to assume my penis is long enough to touch the water

1

Pwr_Swrd1 t1_iydmqzb wrote

You guys have to sit down?

1

Da_Meme_Panda t1_iye7jd6 wrote

Is this some large penis joke I’m too small to understand?

1

jordanbkatz t1_iyed6u2 wrote

My penis simply couldn’t relate

1

baguette187 t1_iyef8ad wrote

when theres piss in it because you were in a public restroom and the person before you did not flush 🗿🗿🔥🔥😍😎😏😏

1

Dennys_19 t1_iyelie8 wrote

You guys are touching the water?

1

w2ltersan t1_iyeog88 wrote

clogged toilet or you need to get a more eco friendly, water saving toilet lol

1

captain_funktastic t1_iyeqjz3 wrote

Who the fuck has such a shallow bowl on their toile…..Nevermind

1

Not_Like_Equals_Gay t1_iyetnvt wrote

My guy, how long is your dick?

Or do you live in the US where the water is up super high?

1

Cbjmac t1_iyets73 wrote

How tf yo dick that low?

1

Ahsoka_is_hot t1_iyeulh4 wrote

how big is ur dick. it would have to be like 30cm to touch the water

1

Cobruh96 t1_iyevygl wrote

Mines too small for that

1

RED_TECH_KNIGHT t1_iyexz69 wrote

Pfft..If you don't warm up your toilet water ( lol ) before using it then I have zero sympathy for the tip of your willy being cold, wet and miserable.

1

IamMooz t1_iyf3w9z wrote

Pee Fighters

1