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AussieBossie24 t1_iy8685z wrote

This just seems like when you try to go shit but nothing comes out

19

Fellarm t1_iy8avxo wrote

Holup? You dont have to wipe...you always have to wipe

216

nottherealneal t1_iy8fpr4 wrote

If this is your experience for taking a shit maybe you should change up your diet or something.

You have weird expectations

−9

[deleted] t1_iy8ikwh wrote

"You need a wipe to know you don't need 2"

244

Frank_Be_Vibin t1_iy8lka8 wrote

Just have a low fiber diet and youll never need to wipe again

0

shnickschnack t1_iy8m2jt wrote

"It doesn't hurt" my man are you alright?

268

Surk t1_iy8smyf wrote

In Belgium we call that a "Perfect"

1

Handsome_Claptrap t1_iy8u5lf wrote

Just saying, if your shit is often painful or liquid, you probably need to improve your diet.

Try increasing fiber (trough fruit and vegetables) and reduce consumption of red meat (expecially processed meat) , gluten and cheese if you are consuming any of them too often.

13

ohboyito t1_iy8vygu wrote

Forgot 2 things, 1 it actually feels really good 2 it doesn't smell at all.

13

Mr_Potatoez t1_iy8wgcv wrote

You still have to wipe, even if the shit is solid

8

sunlightmarc t1_iy8zlmy wrote

Heh, Americans with their toilet papers.

1

DifficultRevenue9 t1_iy90p64 wrote

Ah "ghostie" fet like a shite, smells like a shite but yet leaves no evidence of its presence

1

Big_bussy69 t1_iy93w56 wrote

Wipe your ass bruh like it ain’t even that hard

2

Weirdo216 t1_iy94wx9 wrote

you lot don't wash your ass with water?

7

JimmyWilliams_ t1_iy97xha wrote

Replying to shnickschnack (#767,501)

Idk about you but I take the FATTEST shits and they're always uncomfortable to a certain extent. Perfectly healthy, but I never leave the bathroom without thinking "damn, that was an experience".

25

Sour_Bro t1_iy98e2d wrote

Every shit is a "no wiper" if you're not a pussy

0

Simples85 t1_iy9bhja wrote

Dafuuk you always got to wipe 🤢🤣🤣🤮

2

blr010 t1_iy9d23j wrote

I call that a ghost poop, and I still use a baby wipe because I'm not gross.

1

shnickschnack t1_iy9ebmx wrote

Replying to JimmyWilliams_ (#772,668)

Yeah I do take extremely fat shits but they don't hurt, that's why I'm perplexed. Not here to judge tho, I was just genuinely worried: I'm actually pleasantly surprised we're having such a composed argument on the fattest shits.

8

i_like_pie92 t1_iy9kul5 wrote

You always have to wipe your butt. Wtf

1

MrPotatoManHD t1_iy9nf2a wrote

Reading this on the toilet while not experiencing it. sad noises

1

Steirer2021 t1_iy9pxd5 wrote

In Germany we call it "Götterschiss" if you dont have to wipe. Götterschiss means Shit of the Gods

1

Lysergic-D t1_iy9r1xq wrote

Replying to shnickschnack (#774,101)

The fat shit becomes to be troubling when it is also hard and spiked. After that you start to cry a mix of blood and shit known by brown tear. Maybe is something like that is hurting OP's hole.

3

PsEggsRice t1_iy9rqt5 wrote

I sat down for a bm once and sneezed. And done, torpedo launched. It was actually quite shocking.

1

Alkiaz t1_iy9s9jm wrote

Well good on you as long as it doesn't give you any bullshit. Otherwise it'll be pretty big and holy shit it would be terrifying if it clogged the toilet...

1

Hactar_42 t1_iy9xdzo wrote

Out and gone without a trace. The mythical ghost poo

1

Mr-_-Koopa t1_iy9xehp wrote

Wdym with “You don’t have to wipe your butt”?

1

Duwns_Halt t1_iy9xx57 wrote

How do you know you don’t need to wipe?

1

udyret10 t1_iya1z54 wrote

Ah yes. The infamous Ghost Poop

1

hojo-hominygrits t1_iya6d17 wrote

Slides right out like a wet octopus... the BEST...

1

BruhMomentum6968 t1_iya96zl wrote

Impossible. It always take one wipe to know it only took zero.

2

sebuptar t1_iyaa9sw wrote

There's nothing in the toilet

1

MicrowavegoesBRRRRR t1_iyab1uy wrote

WTF DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE TO WIPE, USE WATER YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE

1

SiberBlack t1_iyabe8s wrote

I love you random citizen in the likes

1

TimTim696 t1_iyadwta wrote

“When you don’t have to wipe” 💀

1

LASTgt t1_iyae76p wrote

Yep this made my day because its true xD

0

1Silent_Theory1 t1_iyaerys wrote

You forgot the empty stomach feeling which now means you feel hungry

1

Darklight645 t1_iyageuy wrote

"You don't have to"
You did though... right?

1

Dry_Contact_3390 t1_iyah5es wrote

you don't know you didnt have to wipe until after you wiped

1

yoooooussseffffffff t1_iyaho0i wrote

Me(a person who doesn't live in America):excuse me what the actual fuck

1

Eg0Break3r t1_iyalk2a wrote

The infamous and ever elusive no wiper. Beautiful.

1

Saftigerkeks t1_iyarqu0 wrote

Wait, yall butts hurt when taking a shit? Damn I must be lucky

1

norielukas t1_iyawffk wrote

Was browsing reddit in bed and left it at this post.

Went to take a shit now a few hours later and I open reddit to see this post.

And I just had this exact shit.

Altho I did wipe but you know, it was one of those wipes with nothing on it.

1

nryporter25 t1_iyaxf5j wrote

Uh you still gotta wipe even if it's "clean" 🙉

1

Accomplished-Price45 t1_iyb0epc wrote

Hold on it takes one wipe to realize you needed none you really gamblin or what

1

meh66987 t1_iyb0x9o wrote

Uhhh, I think you should still be wiping.

1

Ender_Melech t1_iyb2sb7 wrote

This has happened to me about twice in my life.

1

avg90sguy t1_iyb3ypr wrote

Idk that one plume of water that shoots up your pooper is rather invigorating sometimes

1

Moist-Sushi-Roll t1_iyb50cf wrote

I have to save this, so when I get my free award I don't forget about it. I've never related to a meme as much as this one.

0

TickletheEther t1_iyb70jg wrote

My daily footlong after two shots of espresso in the morning. Clean pinch every time 🙌

1

twabbott t1_iyb7ro1 wrote

You know you're over 50 when...

1

Maxy2388 t1_iyb7w10 wrote

Wipe your ass anyway even if you think you don’t have to

1

terrabladelicker t1_iyb8slx wrote

Nothing splashes? You don't have to wipe your butt? So you didn't shit at all?

1

AstroDoggo12333 t1_iybcyrm wrote

no pain? no liquid? no splash? no wipe? sounds like heaven

1

samus_ass t1_iybiyau wrote

I'm on the shitter right now

0

JimDandy5555 t1_iybxt8y wrote

Just wipe anyways. Why risk sting ring?

1

Chewy720 t1_iyc6z8g wrote

When you struggle for 30 min and it's two little drops

1

Darrakiz t1_iycjgeq wrote

Bro u always wipe 🤫

1

PriestMarmor t1_iycl6zc wrote

Replying to Independent_Lead8277 (#797,167)

In my country, portugal, it's obligatory for each house to have at least 1 bidet. You can buy a decent one for 40€, and by decent I mean a full bidet, not an extension that you put on your toilet (it's not that expensive actually)

2

5ee_2410 t1_iycv45e wrote

I mean we have to wipe to check we dont have to wipe 🗿

1