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Runelite_HD t1_j6kheh7 wrote

Reply to comment by Sinewave90 in You just don’t believe. by thepositivepandemic

Aquarius!

There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus.

Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day.

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CT_4269 t1_j6kj3cj wrote

Pisces!

Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus

You are the true lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

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Deadsoup77 t1_j6kpwp4 wrote

Aries!

The look on your face will be priceless when you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon

Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

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MyFutureAsAFreyan t1_j6mahgd wrote

Taurus!

You will never find true happiness. Whatcha gonna do? The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.

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Cister0 t1_j6me39n wrote

Scorpio!

Your feeling have been hurt again, so dig that hole, harden your exo-skeleton, and never interact with anybody ever again. And if they try, inject poison.

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KuraidoV t1_j6nkf2g wrote

Saggitarius!
All your friends are laughing behind your back
(music stops)
KILL THEM.
Take down all those naked pictures of

Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den

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