Submitted by zak55 t3_125bnwh in movies

So I just watched the original Buffy movie and while I had always heard very mixed things about it...I was not really prepared for what I got.

The movie begins with one of the more dull opening 15 minutes I've experienced lately but then spans into a movie that continuously spirals from so bad it's good to so bad it's bad and too that scene was actually pretty decent.

The action is comedically bad but I think that adds to the charm sometimes. It's a lot of Buffy doing a couple flips and then just...doing nothing while she gets the crap beaten out of her and then proceeds to stab a guy.

There is a random love interest stoner dude named Pyke who goes from stoner dude who sneaks into movie theaters and is annoyed at Buffy to...a bad ass vampire slayer and Buffy's new boy friend?

The random love interest stone dude has a friend, we'll call him David Arquette, who turns into a vampire by having the second in command vampire comedically pull him off screen.

There is also a mentor character who goes out in the most punk way ever. Seriously, the random lover interest stoner dude was better at fighting vampires than the guy who had live a 100 lives...of fighting vampires.

Buffy also has three friends, one of whom is pull off screen by vampires and is never seen again, one who cheats on Buffy's boyfriend with her, and one who invited all the vampires to the senior dance because..they are seniors.

Oh yeah, the second in command vampire guy is basically a cartoon character that has a like a two minute death scene that then continues on as a post credit scene.

And then the main bad guy plays a violin and breaks through a wall and attacks Buffy...with a sword...and get's killed by a chair leg.

Oh, and the principal of the school gives out pink slips to all the vampire corpses, who were apparently such punks Buffy's classmates were able to kill them.

And then Buffy rides off with the random love interest stoner dude into the sunrise.

I feel like I watched a bit of a fever dream and it wasn't even that entertaining.



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Duel_Option t1_je3s582 wrote

Dude, that’s…

  • Rutger Hauer playing Lothos
  • Donald Sutherland as Merrick
  • Luke Perry as Pike
  • Paul Reubens (aka Pee Wee Herman) as Amilyn

Also, this is the first appearance for Hillary Swank who plays one of Buffy’s friends.

When this movie debuted, it was kind of an anti-Beverley Hills 90210 (series from the 90’s).

You have no idea how hilarious it was to see a serious actor like Rutger Hauer pop out of a coffin and play a violin like that in theaters at the time…my Dad was laughing his ass off.

It’s dated and filled with cheese moments and that’s part of why it’s so fun.

Ah, oh, ah, eee (kicks wall) ahh


pizzabyAlfredo t1_je4vegy wrote

> It’s dated and filled with cheese moments and that’s part of why it’s so fun.

Exactly. Its a bad, low budget 90's movie that has a cult following and spawned carriers for a lot of people.


[deleted] t1_je3jrsi wrote

That two minute vampire death scene was like the funniest thing I’d ever seen when I was like twelve.


Mochman21 t1_je6fd19 wrote

To me it seemed like Reubens was the only actor who knew what kind of movie he was in. The movie was pretty campy and goofy. I think the TV show balanced the humor much better but we wouldn't have the show without the movie so it is what it is I guess


EmmaJuned t1_je4yr95 wrote

That’s all I remember of the movie. It was fantastic.


zak55 OP t1_je3k47j wrote

I unfortunately decided to watch it at 28 and was more perplexed by...whatever the actor was going for. I thought the movie was going to be a little more serious and...that was not what I got with that guy.


Repulsive-Feature-33 t1_je3tcnl wrote

Hold up hold up hold up. You thought a movie called Buffy the Vampire Slayer, about a high school girl killing vampires, was going to be a little more serious than it was? That’s on you 😂


Sword_Thain t1_je3uz88 wrote

The TV series is pretty serious most of the time.


Repulsive-Feature-33 t1_je3vfgu wrote

The series is a teen drama. Did you not see the poster lol, or the fact that it’s labeled a horror/comedy. Just wild to think that was going to be serious at all lol


BornIn1142 t1_je4dx6e wrote

Are you just going by descriptions without actually having seen it? It balances comedy and drama. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they don't. There's an attempted rape scene that's played very straight, there's a very realistic death that's neither horror nor comedy, the main character struggles with PTSD...


TheShadyGuy t1_je583hu wrote

But a few episodes before the rape Buffy is accidentally made invisible and uses the opportunity for shenanigans. The really heavy parts seem to be a tad out of place for the level of camp that is prevalent through most of the series. I guess that changes when the show jumped to another network and becomes more uneven. Watching the series again now and am almost finished with s6.


BornIn1142 t1_je5b4c3 wrote

Even season 1 included material like Buffy being confronted with her impending demise and breaking down. There's no punchline there. The presence of comedy doesn't mean that a work can't include serious bits, which is why that one guy's bafflement that anyone would have liked some in the movie was so cringey.


TheShadyGuy t1_je5i9xh wrote

I said "camp" not comedy.


BornIn1142 t1_je5jc1a wrote

Sorry, I will edit my previous comment to replace the word "comedy" with "camp" at a later point; I don't have the time for that just now.


mr_Papini t1_je3n32b wrote

And that vampire is none other than Pee-wee Herman


cheffartsonurfood t1_je52y8q wrote

You thought a movie called Buffy the Vampire Slayer was going to be a serious movie? He was dragging it out for comedic purposes.


BrockHard253 t1_je3n640 wrote

I think he was just trying to forget about his little romp at the movie theater.


[deleted] t1_je3lr8t wrote

I refuse to watch it as an adult as I’m sure I won’t love it nearly as much.


Duel_Option t1_je3sbv2 wrote

Watched it last month with my wife…laughed my ass off.

Cmon Pike, let me in…I’m hungry.

I can’t Billy! YOURE FLOATING!


King_Buliwyf t1_je3nikq wrote

As someone who is: an adult, and a serious fan of the series; the movie is still great fun. OP is being a stick in the mud.


zak55 OP t1_je3lwml wrote

Eh, you might still find it funny. I might have if I wasn't so perplexed the entire time.


Kramereng t1_je3q58i wrote

You don't know who Pee-Wee Herman (Paul Reubens) is? That wasn't just some no name cameo.


Black_Shape t1_je4rg87 wrote

If a role depends on you knowing who an actor is and what they've done before, it's a bad role.


Kramereng t1_je55za2 wrote

In most scenarios, sure. But it in a comedy like Buffy, having a comedic cameo role by a well-known actor - in this case, a famous children's TV host - adds a lot more humor. Similarly, Tom Cruise's role in Tropic Thunder or Liam Neeson's cameo in Life's Too Short we're integral to the jokes.


[deleted] t1_je43obj wrote

Buffy was never intended to be serious, did you watch the tv series? It's a parody of many things.

I am not meaning it doesn't have any piece of drama or meaning. It totally does. Reviewed many ideas about life, love, mortality, etc.

i'm saying that the general tone of the series is comedy, it's not an all action badass movie (or is it?). That's what I meant.

Edit: clarity.


sayterdarkwynd t1_je4po1p wrote

Yes, numerous times. Love the Buffyverse. Saying it was never serious is removing some of the best moments of the show, ones still critically lauded for how they tackled serious issues.

The Body is a prime example of a serious episode. There were quite a few others. It wasn't all campy fun.


Black_Shape t1_je4rirl wrote

Buffy was often serious, did you watch the TV series?


dan1101 t1_je57wq8 wrote

They went through entire depressing seasons IIRC.


ArtfulMegalodon t1_je3ou5s wrote

"...I can do anything!"

"Oh yeah? CLAP."

The whole movie is an embarrassing mess, but man, I love that line.


Kyoufu_wafuku t1_je3s80n wrote

How funky is your chicken? How loose is your goose? My goose is totally loose!

I unironically love the movie. I was like 4-5 when it came out and my family loved it so much that we named our dog Buffy, then we watched the series from the very beginning (and we were obsessed!) it’s dumb as hell but I don’t care even a little bit


iannmichael t1_je452jg wrote

So come on all you Hog fans and shake your caboose!

Why did Buffy have the same mascot at both skewls?


BrockHard253 t1_je3myfk wrote

(Stake in heart) awwwww....owwwwww....ahhhhhh...eeeeeeee


Gary_Vigoda t1_je49srg wrote

The movie came out right when 'alternative' music went mainstream so the movie plays off reversing a lot of 80s American high school tropes.

It's got Luke Perry from 90210 as the love interest. The movie is filled with meta humour if you grew up in the 80s.

Pee Wee Herman's death scene is hilarious.


MegaDuckCougarBoy t1_je3iqqm wrote

I feel like there's a reason the show is considered a classic and the movie, a curiosity


TimeTravelMishap t1_je3jf1i wrote

They basically completely took it away from Whedon. He has said he cried though most of the premier.


BaBaFiCo t1_je47uod wrote

After what a prick he turned out to be, he deserves nothing less.


TimeTravelMishap t1_je48192 wrote

Yeah he honestly really broke my heart. I fucking loved that man. And of course between ultron and justice league its clear that, not only is he a complete piece of shit, but he's lost his touch as well


CombatHarness t1_je4ilg5 wrote

You just don't understand the subtle nuance of a nerd prattfalling into a pair of tiddys


altpirate t1_je6dbg2 wrote

No, you see. There I was with all these young, attractive, and impressionable actresses working for me. It would have been a disservice if I hadn't exploited the situation!


tigojones t1_je3o0z5 wrote

A little ironic, given his involvement in basically doing the same to Zack Snyder.


iannmichael t1_je44vlb wrote

Whedon bitched about every script that he wrote that was poorly received and blamed it on the director.

He finally got what he deserved.

Buffy, Alien, Storm’s horrible line about what happens to lightening when it hits a toad.


Hoxomo t1_je68zsw wrote

I heard it's not actually a bad line, just that a subplot where Toad provides toad facts throughout the film got cut and so the joke designed to benefit from it falls flat.


AgentUpright t1_je6x19d wrote

I’m not convinced it would have been funny even with the other cut lines. Halle Berry’s delivery is so serious.


Hoxomo t1_je77wby wrote

I agree it's odd they kept the line yet deleted the run up to it. Wish we could see the original cut.


Panta125 t1_je3ogte wrote

Dude that move is dope


pm_me_judge_reinhold t1_je3qo08 wrote

"Detention, detention, detention. Detention-detention."


Duel_Option t1_je3sjdk wrote

Stephen Root was the principal, didn’t realize that until I saw it again last month.


kugglaw t1_je42ygm wrote

It’s a great film


Majestic87 t1_je4u7tz wrote

This reads like someone who has never seen an 80’s or 90’s movie before. I’m going to assume you are young lol.


Majestic87 t1_je4u4ks wrote

This reads like someone who has never seen an 80’s or 90’s movie before. I’m going to assume you are young lol.


VikAzeem23 t1_je4k1a0 wrote

Honestly I find the movie pretty charming/funny. It doesn't take itself serious, leans into the absurd, and is a relatively fun hour and a half.


satluvscheese t1_je4u8w8 wrote

I miss the 90s...movies like this were made


tigojones t1_je3nmjd wrote

Yes, yes it is. This is studio interference in a nutshell, plus some inexperience. Luckily, the TV show was significantly better, because he was able to maintain more control over it and make it (mostly) HIS show.

It's just too bad that he ended up a major jackass (was he always like this, but it was kept under wraps, or did his personality "evolve" into this over time. Does it even really matter?). His works make up a significant portion of my favourite shows and movies, and I will pretty much check out any show/film featuring any of the major cast members of Buffy/Angel/Firefly, just because of how much I enjoyed those shows.


iannmichael t1_je45uk4 wrote

I was a huge Whedon fan growing up, Buffy being my favorite show of all time.

You know how they say “don’t meet your heroes?”

I met Joss before the avengers came out and it was the most awkward situation ever. He couldn’t be bothered or couldn’t care less. Thanked him for his work an the impact it had on me and he just sighed, signed something, and looked the other way. This was at a comic con ticketed signing. Like it would be one thing if I pulled him off the street (I work in film and tv and have ran into him on studio lots and didn’t say anything because we both were working and it’s just uncomfortable if it isn’t at a meet & greet type situation)..

Oddly some coworkers, girlfriend, and I were at an industry party that same weekend and he was very keen on chatting up my then girlfriend, and by association, me. I couldn’t give less of a fuck by that point. I know the vibe and surroundings were much different but it just made me laugh that he played the role of “ultimate fan boy” to his followers but didn’t have the decency to make conversation while meeting his fans at a signing event that he was very aware of.


kronicfeld t1_je4ba45 wrote

Who knew a guy named Joseph who insisted on calling himself Joss would end up being a problematic weirdo?


CurseMeKilt t1_je4k8j5 wrote

I had drinks with him. He’s incredibly intelligent, witty, and nice. Just constantly barraged with people and probably has low self-control/esteem when he’s alone. I tend to think of him as one of my burnout friend’s who’s artistic craft made him a lot of success and money. But overall, he’s just a mostly typical human caught up in the game of fame.


FloatingPencil t1_je4llw2 wrote

I don't know if he was always like that. He used to be fairly fun to chat with back on the old Bronze chatroom, if you caught it with few people it was a good laugh. But then, text conversation - people can represent themselves however they want.

I don't necessarily think he's the devil, but I do think he's probably the sort of person who doesn't do well when given any sort of power.


Texas03 t1_je45vi0 wrote

But did you notice Ben Affleck on the basketball team?


Crafty-Antelope1244 t1_je4gnjg wrote

The movie is very cheesy but I’d argue the scene where the vampires first attack pyke in his van while he’s driving is actually pretty well done and in some spots intense


BrexitFool t1_je4apy3 wrote

Let me in Pike. I’m hungry.

I’m hungry, I’m hungry, III’mm Hungryyyy!

Chuffing love that scene. Lmao


bkconn t1_je4k4jg wrote

Loved that movie as a kid. I don't remember it being quite as bad as you say. I wonder if you're a bit younger and maybe just not used to seeing movies from the 80's and early-mod 90's. Perhaps a kid growing up in the late 90's - early 2000's may not be accustomed to that schlock we used to watch before tons of CGI.


FloatingPencil t1_je4lwoc wrote

I love this film. It's ridiculous and everyone involved knows it. The overdone vampire death scene, the detention slips for the dead vamps, even the dialogue ("Scuse much? Rude or anything?") still cracks me up. Not sure how I'd feel about it if I saw it for the first time now.

And it doesn't have a 'random love interest stoner dude'. It has Luke Perry. Who was the main reason I watched it in the first place.


charleyismyhero t1_je3lebc wrote

Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie vs Buffy the Vampire Slayer series is the best example I can think of regarding the topic of popcorn flicks (or series). You can be fun and even dumb as the series shows without being a complete dumpster fire like the movie is.


poindxtrwv t1_je4umcl wrote

I'm proud to be one of the ten people that saw it in the theater.


bluebirdgm t1_je3x2rp wrote

This movie was partially shot in my high school, John Marshall in Los Angeles (also Nightmare on Elm Street and other films).


IAmJohnny5ive t1_je4ywqx wrote

Straight out this is the film when I'm in the mood for a really good laugh


DoomGoober t1_je53bdl wrote

I remember watching the movie and thinking "great premise, shit execution. I wish they'd make it again with a more serious take."

Sometimes wishes do come true!


amerijohn t1_je7z65f wrote

Whedon hated what Fox did to his script. He wrote. He didn't direct it.


A40 t1_je3j65g wrote

It is. A lot.


genaugenaugenau t1_je4lyq1 wrote

Look u/zak55, if you want to play house with unwashed masses, that’s fine, but I think you should spend a little time prioritizing. I really do.


DeezSaltyNuts69 t1_je5g41w wrote

It’s not weird at all

You’re just too young to appreciate it

And that’s just how it goes with films


jdixon76 t1_je7cv0r wrote

Loved this. Came out when I was in high school. In fact, I liked it so much that later when Buffy TV started I was disappointed it wasn't like the movie and bailed. Also, high school me really enjoyed Kristy Swanson.


InItsTeeth t1_jed7wx7 wrote

> we can do anything!

> oh yeah ? Clap.


> kill her…. Kill her a lot.


>Dude you’re flying !


InItsTeeth t1_jed876t wrote

I’m confused is this not a cult classic? I never watched the show but I loved this movie.


dangerous_strainer t1_je6doj0 wrote

The best version of Buffy in my opinion. Never liked the show and Kristy Swanson is awesome in this role, she really kicked a lot of ass.


juiceyb t1_je3la0b wrote

I never got the appeal for this film. But I guess there weren't any other film like this with a woman lead during this time. I personally have never liked Whedon's writing and structure but he did get screwed over by a director that went in a different route by turning this film into a comedy. There's just so much to unpack with this film for me as I know many people I grew up with liked this film. It's a great concept for the time, it was just executed horribly.