Non yale spots?

Submitted by rx11wg t3_119ihhg in newhaven

I go to gateway community college & at 23 I’m a bit older than undergrad students. As ridiculous or overly self conscious as it sounds, it’s a bit embarrassing for me wearing a backpack near Yale campus. However all of the good study spots/businesses & spaces in general seem to be mostly populated by 18/19 year old future senators or something. I can’t help but feel as if I’m somehow encroaching on their space or trying to blend in but standing out. It’s an annoying feeling honestly and it’s not like anyone is particularly rude or elitist toward me but I wanted to know a chill study spot or casual place that’s occupied by non elite young professionals maybe? It could be possible I’m feeling an unnecessary amount of shame but there’s other factors involved like the starring & also not wanting to be at a vagrant spot. It feels like everyplace is either super elite or super trashy with no place in between. Gateway campus is filled with children.

Edit: thank you everyone for the kind thoughtful replies. It’s very heartwarming and assuring ❤️

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HeadyRoosevelt t1_j9mdw2j wrote

You should never feel shame about bettering yourself through higher education. Plus, CC is really important for a country that otherwise has an incredible student debt crisis.

New Haven is a college town. It’s not just Yale. No one knows where you go to school, and 99.999% don’t care. I promise. My advice is to hold your head high, and go wherever the fuck you want, my dude.

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MochaUnicorn369 t1_j9n45w3 wrote

Yeah if you look a little older than an undergrad you’ll just be mistaken for a grad/professional student. For study spots I’d go for G Cafe on Chapel or on Orange. A nicer spot away from Yale is Pistachio. The original one in Westville. They have a new location on Chapel and Howe that looks nice in photos but I haven’t been. And there’s always Mamoun’s but I don’t know if they have wifi or not.

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staugustinesday t1_j9r4zse wrote

I was gonna suggest Pistachio and Westville in general. I live over here and it’s nice that it’s less Yale-centric.

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justalilchili t1_j9me043 wrote

I think you’re thinking too much. More than likely they’re not thinking about you, and if they are then screw them. Same thing as when feeling self-conscious at the gym.

Besides, for all they know you’re a graduate student. Perfectly normal to be your age with a backpack. I’ve been out of school for four years now but still prefer to pack my stuff in a backpack when working from cafes and the like.

I like working at Koffee? and The Coffee Pedaler when I need a change of scenery. The public library is good too.

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MochaUnicorn369 t1_j9n4ahu wrote

Great suggestions. Also consider switch from backpack to messenger bag.

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justalilchili t1_j9n7br5 wrote

It’s a nice backpack from my employer, but thanks for the suggestion. I walk most places around town, so it’s more comfortable than a messenger bag.

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achaete_scute t1_j9me7qi wrote

I second that you’re just being self-conscious. But that said, if you go down into the med school area (south of 95 around Cedar St) you’ll find people are more your age since you’ll start running into med and grad students. Fewer nice places to study open to the public though but the Common Grounds that just opened where blue state used to be could be nice.

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idk-td t1_j9mp9o3 wrote

i too went to gateway (scsu undergrad now at 25)- it can feel weirdly intimidating being so close to yale while attending community college..aaand it can feel weird being older than your peers, even if it’s just a couple years older. definitely try your best to push through/ignore that insecure feeling, you are allowed to take up space in new haven!!!

have you tried out book trader cafe? it has its fair share of yale but the vibe is chill and it has a nice outdoor space when the weather warms up

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eddie964 t1_j9mkkvx wrote

Yale has a fair number of students from non-traditional backgrounds, including older students, as well as graduate students and faculty who carry backpacks and hang out in coffee shops. You might feel like you stand out, but I assure you, you'll blend right in.

You could also head to the Public Library or go to Westville, where the coffee shop denizens are more likely affiliated with SCSU.

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SharkMark18 t1_j9mog9n wrote

Way overthinking this bro. There’s more colleges in the area than just Yale. Downtown New Haven is a popular area. Move in silence my g

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nymfo t1_j9myfrr wrote

I'm 29 and I'm just finishing up my undergrad. No worries man! Study where you like.

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paddyboombotz t1_j9mhe8s wrote

Goto owl shop. Open during the day. No yalies.

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Resurgemus t1_j9mxcw9 wrote

Came here to say this. My favorite creative morning spot.

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Westonsided t1_j9nitw4 wrote

I can assure you, you won’t stand out at all. There are actually more grad students at Yale than undergrads, so more of the student population is 22+ (many of the PhD, law, and med students are closer to 30 or above).

I’m a grad student now, but I started at community college and I remember feeling a similar way when I was around 4-year college students. I tried to remind myself that going to CC didn’t mean I was any less intelligent or capable than anyone else, and in the end I transferred to a good undergrad and got the same degree as everyone else— I saved a lot of money in the process, too!

I freely tell people at Yale that I started at community college and I always say to this day it was the best educational experience I’ve had. No one has ever judged me for it. Try not to get in your head about it, you belong in those study spots as much as anyone else! You can even use Sterling or Bass library to study when they’re open to the public during the day, no one will ever bat an eye. Best of luck in your studies.

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flytweed t1_j9mmope wrote

I can totally relate! I second the Westville recommendation including the Pistachio out there or the tables at Edge of the Woods. Downtown, Cedarhurst is great mornings but closes by 3pm. Also what about the tables at East Rock Market (it’s a Food Hall)?

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deebop1 t1_j9mzdql wrote

Fussy coffee.

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Ecofre-33919 t1_j9neqfl wrote

I went to gateway in my 40’s. Study where ever you want. If you are a little older than undergrad - people might think you are a grad student or working remote? But going to gateway is something to be proud about! Take your spot and don’t be ashamed.

Now - any panera is good. Koffee. What about the ikea cafeteria? In ikea you can refill uour coffee. You can stay all day - the only bad thing is the bathroom is a hike. Starbucks in branford. Guilford panera? Try the town libraries. For that matter - what about the gateway library? Or is it just too busy? East haven, branford, guilford - all great libraries. The used book coffee place on chapel is good. You’d be surprized - but in a pinch a mcdonalds or dunkin can work too. They both have wifi! The dunkin in branford on exit 56 - not a bad place to try out. Cafe romeo too.

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Aldor t1_j9o3lf2 wrote

Most of them are very much not future senators lol

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Thecryptbabe t1_j9p1j4t wrote

I get how you’re feeling but please don’t feel any shame around it. I just went back to school at 27 and while I didn’t go to Yale, I always went to Sterling library to study. There’s a big mix of people in there, but it’s easy to find a quiet little spot to study or read.

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boujeeFett t1_j9qvetz wrote

I'm a professional in my 30s and carry a backpack with me. I work out of bars and coffee shops all over New Haven and near Yale.

You are bettering yourself and your life. Always wear that proudly.

And if it helps, I went back to college at 26 and was in classes with ACTUAL children lol Not just young, like 17, not yet an adult haha. You're not encroaching. That spaces is just as much yours as anyone else's. Own it. And good on you for the growth.

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LizaVP t1_j9olwvd wrote

People from all walks of life go to Yale. I went to Southern and never felt out of place in downtown New Haven. I wish I had done my first two years at a Community College. You're not encroaching on anyone's space. If you don't need to scan a card to get into a place you can go there.

It's been a while, I have no idea about places in the area anymore. Sorry.

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cara_apple t1_j9ors41 wrote

I went to Gateway about 15 years ago and had the same feelings. I loved Koffee, and now I like Fussy Coffee, Gather East, and Bloom. And the library. Keep going. 15 years later and 6 more years of school and I’ve made it to the other side, the “professional side.” I couldn’t have done it without taking Gateway seriously. It was a great school.

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buttonforest t1_j9q5ci0 wrote

You might be overthinking this. My 40 year old wife would regularly relax with a coffee at the GCC cafeteria between her classes this semester and study in the library there. No one is paying attention to anyone else. It's a college city with undergrads through doctoral students. Study where you're comfortable.

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robinredrunner t1_j9r8p49 wrote

As a 45 year old undergrad at a state college, I would have no issues studying at "Yale spots". Neither should you. You wouldn't worry about what people thought of you if you realized how much they are not thinking about you.

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bingybunny t1_j9oe8xm wrote

-everyplace is either super elite or super trashy with no place in between

welcome to connecticut.

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chandelizards t1_j9oghjd wrote

East Rock Brewing Company is a cool spot to hangout and grab food beer!

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corcobongo t1_j9nvaf2 wrote

There are so many grad students and PhDs in New Haven, nobody would even care.

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imasleep78 t1_j9ogr0z wrote

I'm 33 and an undergrad. Don't be self conscious. And don't be intimidated by the Yale students, they're just people. They're also generally nice people (if lacking in life experience), believe it or not.

Look into the Eli Whitney program at Yale, too!

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Feisty_Lab_6370 t1_j9qvv07 wrote

Hi there. I’m a 46 yo grad student at Yale. I started my journey off at a CC. Nice thing about going back to school older is that I don’t usually care what others think. I do get what you are saying, though. I throw my backpack on (yes, backpack) and off I go to any of the great libraries that are all around the area. Usually nice and quiet. Occasionally, I will go to a coffee shop or cafe. I’ve looked through these comments and it looks like you have lots of good options to check out. :)

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greysuru t1_j9olbp6 wrote

The library, Haven Kitchen on Temple St across from the movies, the deli on Orange St across from Elm City Games

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DeskFan203 t1_j9q5z9x wrote

I know older people who are professionals (aka not students) using backpacks.

You do you.

Also lol 23 is not old for CC.

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buildingbeautiful t1_j9r6ufo wrote

23 is old for undergrad? I didn’t graduate until I was 24 lmao. You’re good man, nobody cares. You could always walk into Hamden if you want to be away from Yalies. There’s Books & Co right on the border.

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awebr t1_j9rh3ke wrote

I'm in my late 20s and I walk around downtown proudly wearing UConn gear head to toe lol. Never got the sense that anyone really cared, I think everyone is too busy to be passing judgement

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slumpgod_8D t1_j9u2ecl wrote

When I was at gateway I had multiple people who were 30+ in my classes. Also if anyone judges you for being older fuck em

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Myotherside t1_j9ybmge wrote

All that shit is in your head.

Let it go. I went to a state school in the south. Don’t even know how I exist here without self being embarrassed by my own existence🤨

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