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patchworkskye t1_j9rzu79 wrote

I let my son take a mental health day once in a while if he is just too overwhelmed with school and activities and having to catch the bus at 6:15am


Summoarpleaz t1_j9tb11x wrote

I still don’t get why they made kids go to school so early. I mean… I get that it’s so parents can get to work at 9, but jfc


picasso_penis t1_j9tezt6 wrote

My kids bus comes at 8:50, which is ten minutes AFTER school starts. The school insists that there’s nothing they can do to fix it.


Hellnugget19 t1_j9tw0p2 wrote

> I still don’t get why they made kids go to school so early.

Conditioning. Do as you're told. Doesn't matter how ridiculous it is. For the rest of your life. Assuming you don't want to starve in the streets.


patchworkskye t1_j9tg7jl wrote

I know! - teenagers need more sleep, yet they are hauled out of bed at a ridiculous hour


eeo11 t1_j9tfwvt wrote

I had to get on the bus by 6:30 to get to school by 7:15 with all of the stops along the way


FrogPrinc3ss t1_j9uqelj wrote

We did this too with both our children. School is a lot more intense than it was we were in school. And if you can’t get sympathy from your parents what kind of world is it?


Luxin t1_ja3jwo6 wrote

My folks always gave us a free day pass from school, once per year. It ended up keeping us in school more!

But today? Kids are under a lot more pressure, this is a fact. My kids were learning Jr high subjects in the 4th grade. Couple that with the massive stress of social media? Maybe we should slow down a bit and let them chill.


hammnbubbly t1_j9rju0d wrote

Everyone should. But, yes, they should.


beachmedic23 t1_j9rq247 wrote

Dont they already have sick days? My parents would call me out sick for this when i was in school


puzzlebuzz t1_j9s2l2a wrote

My kiddo had Covid this year and we missed 8 days for it. Only 4 counted as excused for some reason. We got to 11 days and they sent a warning that seemed so serious. Even though only 4 of those weren’t excused. If we catch it again, and have other colds and sick days, we seem to get close to the allowed days off. It’s stressful. I’m not sending a kid to school with a fever or Covid.


Action_Maxim t1_j9s5jq6 wrote

Had that call 2 weeks ago, last week gave the kid some Tylenol and sent him in for the school to lose their shit calling me. I reminded them of our call and politely told them to figure out a solution


Fryceratops t1_j9tc49b wrote

The solution should be for you to get a doctor's note covering the sick days. If they get and do their work alt home afterwards should it matter?


Action_Maxim t1_j9tf53r wrote

They didn't care about a drs note, unless for religious reasons it's not excused. The alternative is child protective services gets called for kids who miss too much, fuck that.


Summoarpleaz t1_j9taxwy wrote

If there are like… 11 allowed unexcused absences without any real consequences… isn’t that basically 11 extra days on top of whatever allowances they have for excused absences?


puzzlebuzz t1_j9tdp0q wrote

Totally. In theory it seems like she can have 22 unexcused absences and lots with doctors notes. But they still send official letters and make you feel crappy.


RafeDangerous t1_j9tn4xy wrote

Yeah, I got that letter as well after 8 days. The kids each had 3 days out for random colds, then tested positive for COVID. The school nurse told us minimum 5 days out after testing positive, so we kept them home for the week as requested even though they seemed fine after 2 or 3. Then we got a letter that seemed vaguely threatening regarding "truancy". You know, because we did what they requested.


Sn_Orpheus t1_j9twwh3 wrote

Unfortunately, different districts handle absences differently. We get the “too many absences, you’re going to lose credits” letter automatically sent home after 5 class absences but we can get doc notes and work with counselors who will make exceptions. Other districts that neighbor ours are much more strict and absences are absences and F your kid for missing any school. I understand it’s state law for kids to be in school for a certain number of days but there needs to be flexibility for extenuating circumstances like sickness or family stuff. The schools never ever have a problem when student athletes leave school early for competitions which absolutely chaps my ass.


kittyglitther t1_j9rliv9 wrote

Yes. My mom used to let me take mental health days here and there, but I don't think we ever worried about my maintaining perfect attendance. But if kids can take them and have them not ding their records then that's great.


AskMoreQuestionsOk t1_j9tad1d wrote

What is a ding on the record even mean? Back in the day they would hold you back, but now?


kittyglitther t1_j9tfbad wrote

From the article: But proponents of the bill champion the fact that taking a mental health day would not count towards a child’s absences or even ruin their perfect attendance record (whether trying to achieve that is healthy or not is another hotly debated issue!).

Seems like absenseces are something they want to avoid, so I assumed there was some sort of negative connoation


AskMoreQuestionsOk t1_j9tfut0 wrote

Lol, what do you get for perfect attendance? A piece of paper saying perfect attendance? My kids principal said there were 2 reasons for perfect attendance: mom was a teacher and mom was done.


kittyglitther t1_j9tg4e8 wrote

Who knows/who cares, parents are fucking wild about anything (anything!!) that they see as giving their kid a real or imagined leg up in college admissions.

These are the exact kids who need a mental health day


I_DRINK_ANARCHY t1_j9s1liq wrote

If you're sick with a cold or the chicken pox, you stay home. When you break your leg, you stay home until you're mobile. Why is mental health any different?


CockercombeTuff t1_j9tpqvt wrote

Per the article, it seems they want to designate it so that kids (and parents) can have more days while also keeping a perfect attendance record.


css01 t1_j9two6s wrote

The idea of praising people for "perfect attendance" needs to go away. Even if you're exempting sick days from those stats, when I see someone who never missed a day, I think that's someone who can't get caught up quickly for a day or two missed. That's not a good thing.


masterofmayhem13 t1_j9t1pf4 wrote

Shouldn't EVERYONE be entitled to this? Students and teachers alike? These days benefit everyone. Right now, students can have up to 20 unexcused absences before they (potentially) lose credit. 20 is a lot. Yes, COVID is a wildcard that was not around when the statute outlining the 20 days was written. Teachers on the other hand have sick days that, again by statute, can only be used if the teacher is sick and, again by statute, the local admin can require a note for each sick day used. If fact, the statute that gives teachers sick days is more restrictive than the statute giving any NJ worker earned sick leave.

The "mental health day" should be a recognized "excuse" for being out. This would allow students to not have it affect their 20 day limit and teachers not have to seek out a doctor. Let the mental health day be for everyone equally.


squeaky-to-b t1_j9tp9vs wrote

Tbh the idea of a doctor's note for sick days is the stupidest thing to me. 90% of the sick days I take from my job are for migraines. I'm not going to the doctor for a migraine, there's no need, and I certainly shouldn't be driving when I have one, but it's still a perfectly valid reason to take a sick day. The odds of me even being able to get a doctor's appointment to get a note before returning to work is slim, and I'm not paying the urgent care upcharge just to get a note. I guess maybe some people have a good enough relationship with their primary care doctor that they'd write a note without a visit?


jerseysbestdancers t1_j9u3d9a wrote

Dudeeee I've had a migraine all week and I can't take off for it 🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. Mental health days? I don't dream that big.


squeaky-to-b t1_j9u5bws wrote

I feel like I jinxed myself because like half an hour after I made this comment I felt that twinge over my left eye...


cladtidings t1_j9vsh4k wrote

This I totally agree with. If I'm under the weather, and I can't work that day, I'm not schlepping to my doctor and wasting his or her time by begging for a "note".


NMS-KTG t1_j9tkwp8 wrote

At my school it was 16 days before you lost all credit for the class(es) you missed


cladtidings t1_j9rlv7j wrote

No, they shouldn't "get" them. They should take them under the guise of something else, as it's an important life skill to master. Like, for example, getting "sick" on the same day that you start square dancing in PE class.


km89 t1_j9s9dg1 wrote

Snark aside, no.

"I'm just not feeling it today" should absolutely be an acceptable reason not to go to school or work as long as it isn't abused.


CockercombeTuff t1_j9tpjeq wrote

"As long as it isn't abused." -- it looks like the way they are setting it up, it begs to be abused.


cladtidings t1_j9vs35n wrote

Learning how to do things and deal with reality when you're "not feeling it" is part of life.


km89 t1_j9x5158 wrote

As is learning that sometimes you can make time for you.

Hence the "as long as it's not abused" part of my comment. Of course you can't call out every time you have a deadline or a test or you're feeling a little stressed.

But the occasional "look, I'm not physically ill but I just need a day" is fine. It's exactly what people are already doing, except you don't need to hang your head upside-down over the side of your bed to make it sound like you have a cold when you make the call.


CaputGeratLupinum t1_j9rmgdn wrote

I used to just take my own, they were more like "hide out at the gazebo by the lake and smoke cigarettes days" though


betcher73 t1_j9rzw80 wrote

Mental health days should be considered the same as a sick day. Sick days are for health, mental and physical.


False-Sky6091 t1_j9rykwm wrote

Yes. I always was a firm believer of if I get X days off I am taking X days off. Me and mom used to get called into VP about my attendance to which my mom would say…. Doesn’t she have all As?


banana_toucan904 t1_j9slaol wrote

I took a lot of days off in 12th grade last year from poor mental health. Without giving proof of receiving psychological help I probably wouldn’t have been able to graduate due to so many absences. My guidance counselors, teachers and nurse knew of my situation.


[deleted] t1_j9s0oh8 wrote



zsdrfty t1_j9s7w3c wrote

People take off because they don’t have the energy to go, we should be more empathetic to that and it’ll actually increase their interest and learning


Avbjj t1_j9t7ciz wrote

Not having energy to do stuff is just a part of life that you have to learn to deal with.


patchworkskye t1_j9tg2ga wrote

but it be if the ways you “learn to deal with it” is realizing when things are a bit too much and allowing yourself to take a break


SassySerenade t1_j9sl8qv wrote

Yes, absolutely. School should not be treated like a 9-5 job.

In fact, people with 9-5 jobs need mental health days too.


mashingLumpkins t1_j9tdyzm wrote

If a kid needs a mental health day, stay home sick. Do we need a special designation for it? No.


Project928 t1_j9tg3qw wrote

I was a straight A student and my mom regularly let me take these. She knew I wouldn’t fall behind and understood that some days you just can’t get out of bed.


climbhigher420 t1_j9tdvij wrote

If they agree to leave their cellphones home all year they should be rewarded with one mental health day each semester.


irishgambin0 t1_j9sk7gs wrote

you already can. you have to miss a lot of days for there to there to be any sort of repercussions.


SassySerenade t1_j9sldtq wrote

Not as many as you think, but I guess it depends on where you are.


CriticalFaceTheory t1_j9t90kr wrote

They should get off from homework days . Thats mental help right there .


_jules_mack t1_j9tc4vt wrote

Label it whatever you want, just don’t punish kids for taking them…


Punky921 t1_j9tmhef wrote

Absolutely. I remember a lot of traumatic shit happened to me in school, from the deaths of friends to bullying and having the option to just stay home would've been really great.


HopefulAcanthaceae98 t1_j9u3b1s wrote

Everyone needs mental health days. It would be great if they were at school, like open gym art, music lounge etc. With counselors on hand.


Dux-Mathildis t1_j9u6sof wrote

I'm a college prof, not secondary (where I think this is aimed)--but I "let" my students take mental health days. All in all, my policy is this: You're an adult, allocate your time as you need to; know that generally the less time you allocate to this course, the worse your grade will be." I don't ask for a doctors note or any documentation generally because that's just fucking stupid. The only time I might intervene is if the student has extended absences due to illness, and then I'll approach them about getting the university involved so they have a bit of protection at that level.

And on that note, I've also taken mental health days and openly called them that. It's important that if we want to change the way we think about illness and work in this country that we lead by example.


swoonmermaid t1_j9u7w9o wrote

It’s not a moral failing to need a mental health day.


CoreyMullin t1_j9u89dz wrote

NJ curriculum should be completely changed up focusing more on mental and physical health/ philosophy/ critical thinking/ social relationships every year K-12. Not only that but instead of reinforcing the “just say no campaign” through the Dare program teach young teens patience.


rudeprimadonna t1_j9uqiac wrote

Absolutely. I remember being a senior during the last semester and feeling extremely overwhelmed with the whole college stuff and my classes plus after school activities. Burnout for students is a real thing. I even remember feeling guilty for being absent—I’m missing out on classes and also making my parents upset.

I say mental health days should be a thing for everybody. Burnout’s real everywhere.


healthierlurker t1_j9uv97r wrote

I took so many and then transferred to a therapeutic school where I had perfect attendance lol. But if you refused to go to school at the therapeutic school they’d literally come to your house. From middle school to 10th grade I missed an insane amount of school and was homeschooled or schooled in a treatment facility for probably 2 years between 6th and 10th grade. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety at 10 years old and bipolar 1 at 15 though so I legitimately needed mental health days.


beltalowda_oye t1_j9sb825 wrote

Everyone should get mental health days.


puzzlebuzz t1_j9t4wba wrote

My kiddo is a good kid. She isn’t ditching. She shouldn’t go when she is feeling sick but she must stay if she is contagious.


Jimmy_kong253 t1_j9ta98z wrote

I mean I went to school in the 90s and early 2000s and we had none of this they already have sick days. I mean at some point as a human you have to do your routine and push through whatever you're going thru at the same time. Adulthood will not always allow you to take days off and honestly society isn't going to change to allow that to happen anytime soon.


biscovery t1_j9topas wrote

Bereavement leave? Trust me if you had a doctors note from a psychiatrist/psychologist you could get time off. At the end of the days its up to the parent, they can call up the school and say whatever. I used to take a week off every year to goto FL on family vacation. People take off from work for whatever issues they are having.


Kevg1968 t1_j9ti98l wrote

Teach them right ! Go to school Man up , life sucks than you die!


CockercombeTuff t1_j9tq43y wrote

I'm curious--will the students take a mental health day from social media and/or their phone on these days? Will they just be texting/interacting with their friends in school? Considering the research data and claims relating the two, it would seem to be a key part of it.

I doubt this will be the case, of course, but it's not unimportant to consider.


AnNJgal t1_j9ttsli wrote

No. I wish I could say yes, but no.

Too many kids would take advantage. If you need a day off, responsibly, take the day off. This should be the exception. They need to become resilient and taking mental health days is fine but again, should not become the rule.


Linenoise77 t1_j9uw06d wrote

Everyone should, but just treat it like a normal sick day. Its the parent's call.

I don't have to explain why my kid isn't coming in today. "Noise Jr. Isn't feeling well and won't be in". "Ok, cool, think she will be in tomorrow or should we ask for work to be sent home?"

Hell i've called in and said she wasn't going in because we were going skiing or to a ballgame.

If your kid needs mental health days AND sick days enough that you are in danger of falling under attendance mandatories, someone should be looking into it.

I get it, sometimes you just need a day. Sometimes I do. No shame in that. I think classifying stuff as that does more harm than good.

Maybe the better approach here is not being as black and white with attendance when you relate it to how they are performing at grade level.


dawnjawnson t1_j9v9m0p wrote

Everyone should get mental health days


s55555s t1_j9w58e1 wrote

I don’t get why I call nurse when son is sick and they still call it unexcused


jaquan123ism t1_j9wnnif wrote

yes 100% agree the pandemic taught me i deserve to use my sick/pto days when i need them an not in a emergency or very sick (before the pandemic i would just tough it out rarely use my days) but now i try to take at least one day off a month just to relax so in hs i would of loved ti just take a day off reset do something i want other than having christmas or spring break


nooutlaw4me t1_ja0nb4m wrote

That used to be called cutting school. Did it often.


cjmainuomo t1_j9s57aj wrote

They should get “let’s actually learn something today and get off social media” days. It will help their long term mental health.


Dangerous-Ad-9898 t1_j9u6mmu wrote

Out of 365 days in a year school districts only have 180 days of school. We’re tied with France with having the the fewest school days per year in a developed nation. Our children’s school days are pretty short compared to say Koreas 12 hours. Our students are allowed 18 days of absence before any consequences really are on the table.

That’s like you as an adult having a three day, seven hours a day, work week. You have the ability to change your schedule within reason so that if you want to work day five days a week you could then take two weeks off around Christmas, one week off in the Spring, and two and a half months off in Summer. Oh also have five days off for Thanksgiving and have every Federal holiday off. You would also receive 18 days of leave to be used however you choose. Paradise right. Imagine all that and then STILL needing a mental health day.

I’m all about my child’s mental health; he sees a therapist once a month. But there’s caring and then there’s codling. There’s got to be a line drawn in the sand between the toxic “suck it up kid” and them having to develop some form of mental fortitude.


sonvoltman t1_j9ufx2m wrote

i think high schooler's should have community service days .


coreynj2461 t1_j9tgjnz wrote

They get enough rest for those dink and dunk holidays. Get rid of Columbus, presidents and the other non holidays and get out 2-3 weeks earlier in June


Anthinee t1_j9rwj0d wrote

Isn’t that Saturday and Sunday?


Ducati_Harley t1_j9rmzil wrote

No! Stop being a pussy


Mr_Matt_K t1_j9rr224 wrote

lol @ the gun nut complaining about that


Ducati_Harley t1_j9s2su0 wrote

You Should do better stalking. I’m more of a motorcycle nut. Creeper 🤡


InboxZero t1_j9thl7f wrote

I disagree with your comments in this thread but I'm commenting to say that I also have a Duc and a Harley.