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Telnet_to_the_Mind t1_j9u5zkn wrote

Hey,

So gladly I'll make you feel a lot better. I moved out at an even 30. I was (I think) making probably 67k. I had recently broken up so I was single, only had minimal expenses. I was (still am) a very introverted person so no clubs, drinking nights, or expensive expenditures for night life. Even with all of that I still had a ROUGH time getting a livable place to rent. I refused to live in like Camden or something just to say that I could be on my own. So I found an area near Princeton which was relatively cheaper.. It's farther away from where I grew up and where my parents are now, but it's at least doable for balancing income and expenses. Right now, I've gotten a few raises since then and I still struggle to make a decent profit per month.

I pay all utilities separately, phone bill, insurance, and some entertainment ammenties, like streaming services, audible, etc.

​

Hope this helps mate and good luck, and do NOT Feel about about living at home. It's a stigma that needs to die. There's no shame in living at home and trying to squrriel money away.

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sakhussain2020 OP t1_j9v8aiq wrote

appreciate it, thanks for the response. Reading these makes me think I gotta step up my income a lot before leaving home.

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Unusual-Okra9251 t1_j9tpqz1 wrote

I was 23 back in 2003, my girlfriend and I had already been together 4 years. I was making like $35k at a company I'm still working for. My girlfriend got into Columbia so we moved in together in a studio apartment on the Upper West Side of NYC. Spent 2 years there while she got her Masters, then we got married and moved back to NJ.

It was a lot of fun, but also very expensive.

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StaceFace16 t1_j9trqk0 wrote

I was 19. Moved into an apartment with my boyfriend of 3 years at the time. I worked as a receptionist part time and went to school part time. This was back in 2003ish. Rent for a one bedroom was $760 so it was very manageable with us splitting the bills. We stayed in that apartment for 9 years. Rent was $1000 by the time we left. The same apartment right now costs $1250 which is absolutely ridiculous.

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Linenoise77 t1_j9ts8h4 wrote

I don't know if i would call that ridiculous. its like, inflation levels.

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StaceFace16 t1_j9tsxc7 wrote

I mean it’s ridiculous because the apartment didn’t have much to offer to charge that much. Other complexes nearby had washer and dryers in the apartment and they charged less. But had no availability

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rshana t1_j9txpq3 wrote

I moved out in 2003 right after college with a platonic male roommate who was a friend from college (I’m female). I was making 25k, he made slightly more. We got an apartment in Hoboken for $1400 per month. My parents did help me out with rent.

About a month into living together, that platonic male roommate and I started dating. Happy to say 20 years later we are still together, happily married, and have a 10yo. We now own a home in Bergen County.

After our crappy 2br in Hoboken, we upgraded to a nicer 1br in Hoboken. Then moved to Edgewater. Then a townhouse, and finally purchased our own home. I obviously make considerably more than 25k now haha.

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marmtz8 t1_j9u2q6d wrote

Moved out right after graduating college in 2019 to join the AmeriCorps in California, lived there for two years, moved back and lived at home for a year while I worked, then moved out again to live with my best friend in an 2br apartment in North Jersey. It’s been very expensive and I am not able to save very much but imo it’s worth it for the peace of mind and independence.

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LovelyRoseBaby t1_j9vim7l wrote

Lol I graduated and moved out of state to do americorps in 2020 for a year and some change. Moved back for a couple months and live in an unnecessarily expensive 1br but hoping to move in with a friend this year

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Dozzi92 t1_j9twadb wrote

I was 24 maybe, 2011. My mom was moving to JC to a one-bedroom and so I got the boot. Was making maybe 40k, thinking it was great. Moved in with a friend, paid $700 a month, but also took on other bills associated with living alone and 40k went from seeming great to not so great, so decided I needed to stop half-assing my work and start whole-assing it. Moved into another place, two roommates in a 3BR in New Brunswick. Saved more. 2014 came and I bought my home, met my now wife, etc. etc.

Had fun living with roommates. Had fun before I had my kids. Have fun now with kids, but it's a shitload more work, but also incredibly rewarding.

I will let my kids stay with me long enough to get financially comfortable. I won't force them out (unless God forbid they get hooked on drugs, and then you can't enable them) and leave them to financial instability. I was fortunate enough to get my house in 2014, when prices were low, my initial mortgage was at 4.25%, and has since come down even further. Just absolutely lucky and I try to not take it for granted, so my goal is to set my kids up as well as I can so they don't have to take on unnecessary stress, because stress is a killer.

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jamielyn_ t1_j9ulqfh wrote

Stay at home as long as you are welcome! My (now) husband and I started dating in 2012 and made the decision to live at home until we were able to afford a house. Those 4+ years of living at our family homes (45 minutes away from each other) afforded us the opportunity to save our money towards a down payment on our house in 2018. While we definitely wanted to live together way earlier, I’m glad we made the more financially sound decision. We never would have afforded a down payment on a home if we got an apartment together beforehand. We were actually able to afford our home based off of my husbands income alone (I was a nanny at the time). We were both 27 when we bought our house, but 2018 was basically a completely different time economy wise. I don’t see how anyone manages to afford these prices now unless they’re loaded.

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jpr7887 t1_j9tswme wrote

Moved out right after college with my girlfriend (now wife) and one of her college friends to a 2-bed apartment. Both of us worked at Starbucks and lived off Trader Joe's for a couple of years while we both went to grad school. Having a roommate made it doable but they didn't contribute more than their rent. We still had a good time since we're both introverted. Northern suburban NJ btw.

Edit: this was 2013/2014 for context

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mcgeggy t1_j9tvexy wrote

I was 28 when I finally moved out in 1994. I was making probably right around $30k, moved in with my girlfriend into an apartment complex in New Brunswick. I was happy to finally be out of the house I grew up in. It was a fun time despite the relationship very flawed. The commute from NB to JC sucked though…

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Laker701 t1_j9u0jqt wrote

It was 2006, was making 70k a year at the time but was still living with my parents to save up for a house. Had an opportunity to buy land in my dream location and jumped on it. My father and I built a house on it over the course of the next year so moved in when I was 27. Was single at the time so I rented out the spare bedrooms to help pay for the mortgage. Finally got married years later so now it’s just me and the wife. For me it’s my dream house in a perfect location so I plan on staying here for the rest of my life.

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op00to t1_j9vh2j4 wrote

18 in roughly 2000, $0 except for grants, college student, too much, not really, yes

Never moved back in, my family are a bunch of abusive assholes, glad the dead ones are dead and the rest are out of my life. My parents dropped me off at my dorm, I brought my first load of crap up, and they left while I was carrying stuff up, the rest of my crap sitting on the sidewalk. That night, I walked around campus and truly felt free to be myself.

It's 20+ years later, and I'm the happiest I've ever been with a good family, kids, beautiful house, great job. None of this would be possible if I stayed under the corrosive cloud of my family.

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Pkmatrix0079 t1_j9ttxmo wrote

I was 24 and was making around $15/hour as a student worker at William Paterson. A couple friends were sharing an apartment on the border of Paterson when one had to bail, so I took the opportunity to jump in. Apartment's rent was $900/month for a tiny "two bedroom" (it was the back half of a 1st floor apartment which at some point had been split in two), so just $450/month for my half. Since I was moving in with a friend, had more friends living in the apartment upstairs, and was 5 minutes drive from work/college it was a pretty sweet situation for my first place. Plus it was within walking distance of bodegas, restaurants, and laundromats so honestly not a bad spot at the time (also it was literally the border of Paterson, and really may as well have been Prospect Park).

All of this was in 2010.

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LarryLeadFootsHead t1_j9tyynt wrote

Having graduated in a immediate post recession year and initially having a hard time getting work locally when NJ had some of the highest unemployment and no shortage of laid off veterans workers filling stuff way below their pay grade, I really do empathize with people in the trenches at the moment because of how ungodly narrow the window of opportunity is and just even reading these comments, the current state of stuff is just such a different story for things.

It’s wild looking through listings of areas prime for “conventional fresh out of college+ roommates cheaper living” and coming up super short or everything is overpriced “luxury” gentrifier grey monolith where it genuinely makes no sense to be shelling out what they’re asking.

Even places in “cheap for a reason” areas are goofy as shit.

I don’t have any good answers other than fuck the blowhard employers who complain how nobody wants to work whilst the wages continue to not catch up for the times especially in an expensive state as such.

Also we all owe it to ourselves to shut the fuck up and stop talking about what the state has to offer, we let in way too much riff raff from NYC who thinks Denville is the next Williamsburg because they read a NYT article.

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Zhuul t1_j9u525v wrote

26 in 2016. An old college buddy of mine found a surprisingly cheap apartments complex in Haddonfield and we moved in as roommates. At the time I was still working at Whole Foods, $13/hr or so at 40 hours per week. Fast forward to now and I’m very much enjoying Haddonfield’s cap on rent hikes.

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Rude-Bison-2050 t1_j9ue1wp wrote

I tried swinging a 1BR on just under 40k a year about 13 years ago and picked up a roommate the following year lol.

Bachelor pads are fantastic when you’re single but at low income and early career you basically have zero margins.

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SD-777 t1_j9uwqz2 wrote

17, it was either the Army or go with a full ride scholarship, I chose the latter. Scholarship was tuition/books only, so I worked part time to pay for room and board. Lived on campus the first year, then different apartments with roommates after that. Haven't been back home to live since then, but that was a long time ago.

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op00to t1_j9vhf21 wrote

I did this in the 2000s, it's hard but possible. Lots of roommates in shitty, shitty apartments. The freedoma was incredible.

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Special_FX_B t1_j9vosnd wrote

  1. Went to college became independent from parents. Took out loans. Graduated. Eloped. Got a job with $12,300 salary. Five years after graduation took out first mortgage. Five years later paid off student loans. Now retired with two grandchildren nearby. This scenario far too impossible in the current situation in this state for far too many people given the cost of college and housing and the relatively paltry compensation relative to 40+ years ago.
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Linenoise77 t1_j9trrc3 wrote

99 or so, i was 21. Was making around 40k a year. Rented a decent place in bumblefuck with a buddy that was maybe 1500 bucks a month or so if i remember right.

I was in a relationship already so it wasn't like I cared if i was someplace happening. It did suck if you wanted to go to the bar, as this was long before uber, and local cab services sucked and were crazy expensive. Money was still tight (long commute, crappy car stuff was always breaking on, etc) but I was able to make it work and it was a very positive experience.

Was only there for a bit over a year before i changed jobs and moved on to greener pastures, with a brief window of moving back home for a few months between places.

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MeatierShowa t1_j9typfh wrote

Late 90's I was 24 when I finished at Rutgers, which I'd mostly paid for myself with loans and working nights at UPS. I moved back home for just under 3 years, so I was 27 when I finally moved out and to get married. Those three years sucked due to my parent's financial problems and my younger brother's mental health issues.

I was making about $36k a year back then, my wife was just graduating, still working as waiter. Our first apt in Burlington Country Area was $600 a month, we both had newish Ford Escorts that we were paying about $300/mo each.

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jawnbaejaeger t1_j9tzzjs wrote

I moved out for the first time at 24, a few months out of college, but for various reasons (including a medical emergency back when ACA wasn't a thing and I was still on 90 probation), I had to move back home. I was only making $27k at the time. Rent had been about $1100 for a 2 bedroom, split between me and my roommate.

5 months later, I took a job out of the country and was away for 2 years.

On return, my partner and I stayed with her parents for about a year while we saved enough money for both a wedding and to move out. A mutual friend of ours joined us, and we got a 2 bedroom apartment that was probably $1200 a month. Very simple, no WD or dishwasher or anything, but it was great. We stayed there for 3 years, and have lived in various places since.

We bought a home in Bergen County in 2017.

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sakhussain2020 OP t1_j9v0jma wrote

Glad it all worked out. I grew up in Bergen County great area, great place to start a family.

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mac_a_bee t1_j9uoiur wrote

My father sold upon my high school graduation, so I had to find a job and housing that summer as well as collegiate summers when I wasn't militarily training. By your age I had been in the '73 Yom Kippur War and behind the Iron Curtain during the Cold War. Rented one-bedrooms until my next employer threw money at me to buy, that I wouldn't get otherwise. Still there, having rented it when employed out-of-state for five years.

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[deleted] t1_j9uurvc wrote

[deleted]

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sakhussain2020 OP t1_j9v09b3 wrote

I had a friend who had a similar move. Paralegal working in Manhattan and yeah same hours and eventually moved to Hoboken. what job was paying you 50k out of college? im a grad (finance) just idk not sure where to look for salary jobs considering I have minimal company/office experience. Just worked odd jobs in college and fucked off after university for a few years.

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HeyItsPanda69 t1_j9uxhj6 wrote

29, moving to south Jersey from central jersey bc I can afford it and don't really mind the commute. 85K a year, dating but long distance. And I saved enough so I could buy rather than rent

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sakhussain2020 OP t1_j9uzssb wrote

what industry do you work in? im a college grad (finance) but didnt prepare well for graduation and fucked off the few years after. just looking out for ideas on potential jobs/career

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HeyItsPanda69 t1_j9v00fo wrote

I went to college for business management and was working in banking, but jumped ship and now work for the railroad. 84K is the minimum but we average around 125K. We're still hiring too

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G_Rel7 t1_j9vezjt wrote

I’m also 26. At 20 while in college I moved in with my ex and her family. 2 years later I graduated, got a job, and in six months I bought a house. I didn’t have much for credit history but given my degree (engineering) and perceived job security I was approved for a mortgage. During those super low interest rates I refinanced.

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[deleted] t1_j9vly8j wrote

Stay home and save money.Times are different then when I was 26, which would have been in 2002? I moved out when I was 19 and didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of until my 40's. It wasn't for a lack of working or making money, but everything went to rent and bills and I could never save any anything. I finally bought my home (by myself) in my early 40's. I wish I could have had the opportuntiy to save most of my money by living at home.

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grombogurko t1_j9vwm6b wrote

Moved out when I was 18 to go to college, moved back to my fams house when I was 25 because all my roommates moved out of NJ. Found new roommates the next year, met girlfriend, moved in with girlfriend at 27. Married girlfriend at 32, bought house at 34. I'm 34 now, income 130k a year. Started at $35k a year out of college.

Owning home with wife is best in terms of life enjoyment. Second best was renting with wife followed by living with good roommates.

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sakhussain2020 OP t1_j9w0jdy wrote

what line of work are you in? Yeah I commuted locally to school, missed out a little on rooming with friends maybe maybe later in the future.

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grombogurko t1_j9wg0dr wrote

I'm an urban planner. I should have added that I got my masters in my late 20s.

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grombogurko t1_j9wh0hf wrote

Just wanted to add that you shouldn't necessarily be against living with rando roommates (as long as they're cool and roughly your age). They can turn out to be great friends in the long run. My whole current friend group comes from the roommates I lived with when I was 26 and 27.

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Jimmytowne t1_j9wwml7 wrote

22, 35k, jumped jobs and careers on a whim, $5-600 (my share of 2bd living with childhood buddy), warm bodies from the bar, enjoyed every minute

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trollbot69 t1_j9x640d wrote

i had just graduated from college making about 95k, moved to hoboken w 2 other roommates. making almost 200k now still with roommates because it’s fun and economical!

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OkBid1535 t1_j9xvhwa wrote

I was 23 and my fiancé 25 and we had a newborn, our families both kicked us out before the baby was born. By a miracle we found a cottage to rent on the shore for $1300, this was a decade ago exactly for a two bedroom one bathroom home in someone’s yard. Lots of restrictions like we couldn’t use the driveway or yard etc and landlord constantly watching us through the windows

That was a 9 month lease. Then we moved to a home in Neptune for $1400 a month, 3 bedroom and one bath with a full basement. Roof was leaking, horrible pest problem, neglectful landlords. We lasted 16 mo before we moved a final time to south Jersey

Found a home to rent for $1550 (4 bed 1 bath 1300 sq ft) which is the house we just bought in sept

I’m a full time stay at home mom, my husband was an underwater welder, roofer, pizza chef, and he had s fourth job I can’t even recall. But he was busting his ass for our family making money while I was and still am raising our kids.

Been real fun. Especially with this village of support/s heavy heavy S

Now my husband has his own welding business and he just focuses on that but he has to work 6 days a week just so we can afford this house.

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aden_feifdom t1_j9y3lcr wrote

i was 26 when i moved out. my dating life was non existent and i thought getting my own place would help. was renting a 1 br garden apartment for 1,200 a month with a garage. all my friends were engaged and getting married yet i was forever alone. my friends helped me move in and when they left it was so depressing. i woke up the next morning to the sounds of my upstairs neighbor having sex. it was a depressing adjustment but i started dating aggressively because i knew sitting by myself listening to my neighbor moaning wasn’t a sustainable future for me.

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sakhussain2020 OP t1_j9y8tqt wrote

How did your dating life go the ensuing year or two after moving into your own place? Was it difficult to meet girls you liked?

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aden_feifdom t1_ja2r4q4 wrote

i had more confidence being on my own which helped. within the next year, i was engaged.

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ScumbagMacbeth t1_j9yrf7r wrote

I moved out at 22, I was making $20/hr. Moved back home at 24 when my dad got cancer. Stayed until he died, stayed for a few more years to help my mom (she never lived alone before and my dad handled a lot of the bills and household tasks so she didn't know how to do them) and save money. I didn't have any long term relationships by choice, and did date around successfully. Moved back out at 29 making like $30/hr. But this was a while ago so inflation, etc. I don't regret moving back home and I think with the economy the way it is it is totally understandable.

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sakhussain2020 OP t1_j9ys1cv wrote

Were you bringing girls back to your parents home? I guess they must've not cared right?

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ScumbagMacbeth t1_j9ys6kv wrote

I was mostly going to my dates' homes or just working around my mom's schedule. It wasn't a big deal. But again I was only interested in casual dating at the time, I thought I was aromantic. (Surpising everyone including myself I am now finding myself in my first long term relationship well into my late thirties!) Living at home might be different if you're looking for a serious relationship but I wouldn't know.

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SendCaulkPics t1_ja1l6js wrote

My mom told me I had to start paying her $500/month rent or move out when I was 28. I was and had been working full time and living frugally for about 5 years making about $50k/year. I helped my mom out when she had “cash flow” (read: spending addiction) issues and I guess that made her realize she could get money out of me on a monthly basis.

Since I had paid off loans and car, it was pretty comfortable to swing a studio apartment in Clifton for a couple years before buying a house. I hated apartment living. I had been in nicer luxury buildings with exes and those I would describe as OK but budget garden apartments have awful sound proofing.

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MundaneMaybe t1_jad6xv6 wrote

Still live at home, my partner moved in so now its my parents and the two of us (and bonus child on the weekends), I'm 39 my partner is 45. It's actually awesome because we all share expenses and my partner and I can help my parents as they get older (they are in their 70s) so they don't have to end up in a nursing home (which they couldn't afford anyway)

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