I'd say Somerville or New Brunswick for suburban NJ towns that are closer to Raritan.

That said from those suburban towns, you're not going to have fantastic nightlife compared to what you experimced in SF. The larger cities closer to Manhattan may be better if that's the deciding factor.

Hoboken has a good nightlife, but wouldn't say it's going to be a 30 min commute to Raritan, it's brutal with traffic. ... Same with Jersey City. But the commute to NYC would be good. Also Jersey City would have a good commute to NYC... for both JC and Hoboken take the PATH to Manhattan. JC has an ok nightlife around Grove Street, but Hoboken is just going to have it beat IMHO.

You csn get to Manhattan from Somerville & New Brunswick. Somerville is on the Raritan Valley Line which can get you to Manhattan direct on a few trains, but most of the time you'll need to switch in Newark and take the PATH. (So that is a pain, but if you're a wierdo like me I like to people watch on the PATH.)

New Brunswick will get you into NY Penn direct on the Northeast Corridor.

Maybe Princeton is an option, but I'm not sure how to get to NYC from there.