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Diarygirl t1_j9fv9q5 wrote

What's upsetting to me is when people say "you should be nursing your baby anyway" as if it's that simple. There's a multitude of reasons why women can't or don't want to nurse.

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BussSecond t1_j9gap0m wrote

It hurts so much when people say things like this when it’s already so hard. I always wanted to breastfeed 100%, but due to minor complications at birth, I was not able to supply my baby’s needs all the way and so I had to add a little formula to his diet. I’ve been trying so hard to get off of supplementing with formula. I pump every couple of hours throughout the day and it hurts physically and emotionally. It’s hard for me to not to feel like a failure.

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maybebatshit t1_j9gfg28 wrote

I was right there with my first. I could not produce enough and I tried so hard. I felt like such a crap mom pumping and nursing and pumping and nursing all the time just for him to not be fed. When I finally had to come to grips with my limitations and go to all formula all I could think about was how much I was failing him. I have two others that I also had to formula feed, but I knew that would be the case and after going through it the first time I was mentally prepared.

My oldest is 15 now. He's bright, healthy, hilarious, kind and we are genuinely close. Not in some weird way either, he is social and has plenty of friends. He tells me about his life, we hang out all the time, I mean we are bonded. I feel bad when other parents get so excited that their teen chose to hang out with them because that's my normal. All of my kids are the picture of health, and all of them are super close to me, which were my two biggest fears. They're more than just fine and yours will be too!

Also you aren't failing, you're doing everything you can and your baby is getting everything they need from you. In fact by seeing how much you care I know that you are killing the mom thing. Big hugs, I know how hard it is.

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BussSecond t1_j9hjwo0 wrote

Thank you for your kind words. I have to remind myself that I'm not alone in this. It's all too common to experience and feel what I'm going through. I am very fortunate in many aspects of life, so I have to keep perspective when this gets me down. My baby is healthy, and I hope to have as great a relationship with my son as you do with yours.

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