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DaddyBobMN t1_jd0mp9l wrote

"Cougar paws at man in hot tub" must've been too risqué.


PunkinBrewster t1_jd0pv17 wrote

“Man in trouble after hot tub romp with local cougar”


Hopeful_Hamster21 t1_jd0wf1u wrote

Someone missed an opportunity with that headline....


macweirdo42 t1_jd2a035 wrote

Honestly, it's time for someone to turn in their press badge, they clearly don't have the chops.


Narrator2012 t1_jd2cmr9 wrote

I thought this joke was about Man Bisque soup at first


voicareason t1_jd0izb5 wrote

Is cold, see soup. Somehow get in trouble


HailTheCatOverlords t1_jd0j8wz wrote

You gotta taste the soup as it cooks. You know to adjust the seasonings.


breadexpert69 t1_jd0t607 wrote

You gotta shred the meat so its juices get infused in the broth


Special_Agent_Bob t1_jd1u8n0 wrote

The trick is to undercook the onions. Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot.


voicareason t1_jd0jtrz wrote

That's what cougar mc friendsize was doing? And now he's in trouble.


No-Description-9910 t1_jd0omr2 wrote

Exactly. I mean, you could smell it simmering all the way down the block. Who doesn't want some of that?


Atralis t1_jd0vui7 wrote

I'm just going to grab a snack with my trusty claw......

*Incomprehensible shouting and weird magic light shining in eyes*

Ah fuck its weird! Abort! Abort!


Nativesince2011 t1_jd0q1sf wrote

There’s nothing more juxtaposed to chilling in a hot tub than getting attacked by a goddamn big cat


z500 t1_jd2hc6m wrote

At least it would be an adorable way to die


Dabalam t1_jd2r7l3 wrote

I don't think that thought has passed through the minds of anyone being savagely killed by a wild animal.


TherealTechman86 t1_jd0yhm3 wrote

What a shitty article to not include the town or area, just Colorado?


_ShortGirlProblems_ t1_jd1j3et wrote

It was in Nathrop, CO


theresacreamforthat t1_jd2b5t8 wrote

👁️👄👁️ We're going there in a few months.


Mesapholis t1_jd2d3qs wrote

better keep that shotgun in the hot tub with you


CTeam19 t1_jd35hhv wrote

I mean who doesn't have a Hot Tub Shotgun? I thought this was America.


hoofie242 t1_jd1if4j wrote

The town is exactly located within its borders.


plipyplop t1_jd2knnh wrote

Just take a left at the intersection, keep going for a while, and you can't miss it.


Biggcurt t1_jd1dngm wrote

Not like it’s a big state or anything. What the fuck


Tapingdrywallsucks t1_jd34fjw wrote

yeah, it took 2-3 extra clicks to find the town.

For anyone thinking that's trivial, for one, Colorado is big. Second, this is unusual behavior (although growing more common), and that lion will continue to be way too unafraid of humans and must be captured. They're also territorial, so this lion won't be wandering too far and folks in other towns should be able to use their hot tubs at night without too much fear.

That said, mountain lion behavior is seems to be changing kind of rapidly, so who knows how far this cat will go for stewed human.


Wingnutmcmoo t1_jd3ep5d wrote

Tbf whenever a colorado state wide news reports on a mountain town its always referred to as a "Colorado town" in the headline or opening words of all reports here for as long as I've been alive. So it's just how we do it here cause even we don't bother to learn the name of every Nederland or Southpark

The mountain lions attacking people isn't that unusual for at least the decades I've been here. I personally know a number of people who've have very close run ins with unafraid mountain lions around here the past 30 years. It may be happening more but it's simply to be expected due to what we're doing to their homes (the same thing is happening with all the animals around here).

Currently I still worry about running into a moose or a scared deer more than a mountain lion (I tend to try to keep my head up for all the wildlife of course) as I and people I know have had many more close calls with moose, elk, and deer up in the mountains than the mountain lions.

Would be nice if we'd just stop fighting for space with them and just let them have more breathing room


Lazy_SSJ_God t1_jd3vih9 wrote

Mountain Lions have been a pain in the ass in grand county since I was born.

It's not unusual for a large predator to try to intimidate us off the mountains. It's their habitat we are invading.

A girl in the 90s was killed by one while fishing off a dock up here. Very common in the mountains.


EdgeOfWetness t1_jd3og15 wrote

That's the fashion these days. Usually the website it appears on studiously neglects to tell more than the city. Usually they will add the county, as if anyone outside that city knows which fucking county is which


[deleted] t1_jd1madv wrote



Wingnutmcmoo t1_jd3f36m wrote

This has never happened the other times to my knowledge, this isn't an unheard of event


[deleted] t1_jd0nx72 wrote



Berdarien t1_jd1l5pb wrote

Interesting that the wounds were purely superficial. Glad the guys ok.


MajesticOuting t1_jd0j5j5 wrote

That headline is so close to leopards eating people's face.


jawshoeaw t1_jd1kv6z wrote

Sous Vide has become more popular in cougar culture so this doesn’t surprise me


Relative_Truths t1_jd0magw wrote

Should have just booped the cat’s nose.


bearsheperd t1_jd1ima5 wrote

That is what you should do. Act big and tough, do not run, if they get too close be ready to boop em the boop of their life.


jetbag513 t1_jd3gpd4 wrote

"Colorado man in hot water after encounter with cougar."



Professional-Can1385 t1_jd0k2am wrote

Reminds me of my sister's cat attacking playing with my head, except more opportunity for death.


_Levitated_Shield_ t1_jd16zw7 wrote

Watch how Universal will make a film about this in upcoming years and have it crossover with the cocaine bear.


tripyep t1_jd1igcd wrote

Pothead puma: just looking for funyuns man!!


beaverfetus t1_jd32wn5 wrote

This is among the worst possible outcomes when soaking in a hot tub


IPeedOnTrumpAMA t1_jd0zd4m wrote

It's all fun and games until you try to head dunk a mountain lion in the water.


mipacu427 t1_jd1ko77 wrote

Kitty just wanted to play.


Xenolithium t1_jd1m74f wrote

Wonder if the hot tub chemicals confused the cat and didn't realize they were prey? Either way, fuck that.


AMBIC0N t1_jd1odr4 wrote

Some cats like their humans slightly poached


Complete_Entry t1_jd27xaj wrote

Stew not ready, it keeps screaming.

Khajit is impatient!


thevacancy t1_jd2mx4a wrote

What a 'cat' move. "Fuck your hot tub and fuck you." For like no apparent reason.


jelder t1_jd2pcwx wrote

Well if he didn't want to be eaten he shouldn't have marinated himself.


MrKahnberg t1_jd3fzc0 wrote

There's a hiking trail just south west of Montrose. If memory serves it's Spring Creek canyon. The trail goes so close to a puma den you can smell the scent they spray to mark their territory. I never saw one except very briefly crossing the main road in Beaver Creek. I know 3 people who poached pumas.


macweirdo42 t1_jd2a7hz wrote

Let's be fair, who doesn't enjoy a nice hot bowl of Stu after coming out of the cold?


zavatone t1_jd2tzx1 wrote

The mountain lion was checking to see if he was properly tenderized.


Slootyman t1_jd3hhtd wrote

When you live in the wild what do you expect. I live in CO and would never live in a remote area like that. Also never hike alone or trail run alone unless it is a popular area. We live in their territory, wish people would respect that.


aliceindotardland t1_jd43yzm wrote

Tourists are always clueless - look at Yellowstone. Cold, early spring, looking for food - something moving at ground level - animal doing what it does. Lets run and call the cops!!


Cool_dingling t1_jd7j5ho wrote

probably thought he died and was tring to get a meal, happened to me before.


justhereforsee t1_jd3a1ga wrote

When you are cooking yourself you are making it easy for the cat


gunburns88 t1_jd1y347 wrote

That's one wet hot pussy