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WoshJills t1_ius4g7g wrote

Of course it is Italy doing pasta life research.


sublime_cheese t1_iusqtt7 wrote

In my pasta life, I was a manicotti. What were you?


coondingee t1_iut737n wrote

I was trying to teach my fellow dumb Americans how to pronounce manicotti.


Nightnite88 t1_iuu5uc5 wrote

1- Rigott

2- Mozarell or Motz

3- brojuut

4- Gabagol

All my north-eastern "italian" friends swear that this is how they are called in Italy. 🤦‍♂️


Implausibilibuddy t1_iuuogdj wrote




^^Okay ^^that ^^last ^^one ^^is ^^my ^^own ^^because ^^it ^^annoys ^^my ^^girlfriend.


FantasyThrowaway321 t1_iutbkfa wrote



2Punx2Furious t1_iutqsvc wrote

Almost, but the "i" in this case is read as you would read "e".


ivytea t1_iuun7bq wrote

It is called cannelloni (lit. "Big Tube") in Italy, no idea how it became "Clean hands" in the US. Maybe one is obliged to clean hands after his tube got big?


Veryexpensiveggs t1_iuussej wrote

If I ever find myself on a speed date, this is the phrase I’m using.


maxonemaxtwo t1_ius37vp wrote

Just imagine the pastabilities


Ezdagor t1_iusbczq wrote

I thought this was impastable!


samlabun t1_iusbyl4 wrote

Not past-a the experitation date any more!


pegothejerk t1_iuscchv wrote

Hey I’m Chris Pratt. I like spaghetti.


RepresentativeCut161 t1_iusqygr wrote

I would rather go through unnecessary chemo than have to watch another second of that dude. Its nothing personal hes just simply untalented but is tall and pretty so is untouchable and shoved down your throat at every opportunity. He's anti-abortion and anti-gay marriage yet the same women who shit on anyone even slightly threatening their internet supremacy on platforms like twitter would line up around the block to suck him off just because he was in a show that was caught up in the fame wake generated by the office.... He will come go on at nauseum until he starts to sag and be lost to time..


thejoeface t1_iut6a4v wrote

I also can’t stand him. The only thing I enjoyed with him in it was Guardians of the Galaxy, and well he’s a playing a selfish asshole, so…

I also couldn’t stand him in the Lego Movie, and I didn’t even know it was him until the credits rolled.


deathjoe4 t1_iutqmyo wrote

I only say his name as Crisp Rat now. People don't even notice half the time.


tokes_4_DE t1_iuv9u2i wrote

Alright i get reddit doesnt like him but i looked around and can find zero evidence of him being anti gay marriage. Some posts about being pro life or happy about having a children, but thats about it there.

Also people dunk on him for being a shit actor and yet everyone loves gotg and parks and rec. Not saying im a fan of his overly religious attitude at all, but he gets this weird hatred on reddit more than so many other actors despite not having anything really controversial to say.

Heres james gunns take on the whole weird rabid internet hate on pratt. Id say hes knows him pretty well....


ObiWan_Jabronii t1_iusqbln wrote

This is the most Italian study ever. It's like if Canadians studied maple syrup and hockey.


fresh_dyl t1_iutskp2 wrote

Or like, if I got paid to study the effects of large repetitive doses of cheese and beer in Wisconsin.

I’m putting in the work, just not getting compensated.


Manos_Of_Fate t1_iuutnh4 wrote

It only counts as science if you write it down.


ErikTheAngry t1_iuv1ja5 wrote

You must follow the scientific method.

It isn't good data until it's confirmed with a high degree of confidence. And the only way to do that is to repeat the experiment again and again, and conclusively get the same results. Then other people who can find no fault in your method repeat the tests and compare their results to yours.


wooztheweb t1_iuschfh wrote

The two scientists stand in front of a bowl of 120 day old pasta. Mario tried the last batch, so it was Luigi's turn today.

Luigi recalled with horror the profane vomiting sounds coming from Mario's bathroom the night after the last test. The disturbing red tinge to the toilet bowl the next morning would have frightened normal folks, but Luigi knew it wasn't blood Mario had thrown up, just Mama's tomato sauce (she'd beaten Mario with a wooden spoon for wasting food after he left the bathroom and Luigi could hear his stout brother crying himself to sleep).

Now though. Now it was Luigi's turn. He picked the long noodle up and it was wet and floppy. No discoloration, but they'd been duped before and had learned long ago appearances meant nothing.

"Brother, we need this to work," Mario said with an bit of nervousness in his voice, his hand on Luigi's shoulder. "They are cutting the funding at the end of the week."

Luigi scoffed, still staring at the noodle and muttered, "Fuck it." He tossed it in his mouth and chewed.

What seemed like hours passed, but it was only a few seconds. His shorter brother staring at him with wide eyes and a sweaty brow. "How is it brother? Please! Tell me!"

Luigi looked down for a long time, brow furrowed in concentraion. Chewing a little, Mario noticed a single tear drop off his cheek as he looked back up. "Al motherfucking dente."

Mario's eyes went wide as he exclaimed, "Mama mia! Do you know what this means Luigi!"

"It means our former colleague didn't die in vain, brother! We shall stop by church on the way home tonight and light a candle for Toad."


ToadTendo t1_iusjn33 wrote

What the fuck


normal_reddit_man t1_iusmojf wrote

I'm calling it right now: this is gonna be a better story than the upcoming Mario movie.


ToadTendo t1_iusq4ln wrote

This is literally the leaked mario movie script bro...


Luciusvenator t1_iuszhr5 wrote

As an Italian that just got from picking pasta of the spaghetti trees, this lab grown pasta doesn't sit right with me.


Rulare t1_ius2f2l wrote

I was more excited before I got to the pasta part.


St4rkW1nt3r t1_iusfinp wrote

I read this as "...researchers find new recipe to extend life by a month with pasta."

My newly developing dyslexia is getting bad.


Ahelex t1_iust0vd wrote

It would be something of a revolutionary result if they did do that.

Knowing that your time is up, but you still have a few more things to take care of? Just eat this pasta, and give yourself one more month to get all your things in order before you pass!


Ginger_Anarchy t1_iutb70y wrote

I read it the same way, but for me it wasn't dyslexia and just wishful thinking


TheNewGirl_ t1_ius37kh wrote

I started eating fresh pasta

cant go back to old dried spaghetti =(


GeraldoDelRivio t1_iusgaok wrote

Dried and fresh pasta are kinda like two separate ingredients. Fresh pasta is NOT just a better version of dry, they have two different textures that are ideal for their respective dishes.


applejackhero t1_ius5sqz wrote

Finally some real technological progress. Elon Musk wishes he could be this forward thinking


lynivvinyl t1_ius8a2n wrote

But I had so much planned for when it was pasta it's date!


Didact67 t1_iuswq5p wrote

Funny that I see this right after reading something about a guy dying from eating old pasta.


onlycatshere t1_iusyviq wrote

Someone send it to Buitoni please? I've gotten two packages of moldy tortellini in the last year that were not close to being expired. I know it's madness buying the same thing and expecting different results, but when it isn't moldy their chicken prosciutto tortellini is fucking awesome


amendmentforone t1_iuscb0q wrote

Italians - "Listen, you're gonna die. Might as well enjoy pasta as long as you can"


StoneRivet t1_iusyqz1 wrote

This is pastastic, so strange it's news worthy, but hey, good on the Italians.


nhjuyt t1_iut2htl wrote

Much excited gesticulating ensued.


BlackEyeRed t1_iuuyemg wrote

If I had to choose between fresh or dry pasta for the rest of my life, it would be dry.

Is that a controversial statement?


thisonesforthetoys t1_iuspelj wrote

So now "Fresh Pasta" at the store can be up to a month old.


5punk t1_iusn97r wrote

So my wife won't yell at me anymore?


CritaCorn t1_iutoqs1 wrote

Random pasta Trivia: Did you know it was in Los Angeles “Alfredo” was invented


kuda-stonk t1_iuuc3ny wrote

Dodging stereotypes I see, well done though... sorry that was incensitive of me... Al Dente


Cpt_sneakmouse t1_iuum3r9 wrote

They really used their noodles for this one.


pentalway t1_iuuo33r wrote

Feels like this should be posted on nottheonion


PerNewton t1_iuuoeaj wrote

Nonas everywhere are mad as hell.


LeaCTrockboys t1_iuvflo3 wrote

This is great news for us at Hulk Hogan's Pastamania revivalists.


T1res1as t1_iuvkp9c wrote

Will this lead to immortal pasta? Scientists says only time will tell


BlackBlizzard t1_iuvqhic wrote

The fact it's only by a month is so funny to me.


Zelensexual t1_iuvvclm wrote

Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster. His Noodly Appendage will be very pleased indeed. Ramen.


haroldthehampster t1_iv4j6v1 wrote

Someone’s Italian grandmother js rolling in their grave


Xul-luX t1_iusacy0 wrote

wasn't better for the environment when people made pasta at home?


[deleted] t1_iuscs2p wrote



InSanic13 t1_iusdmlu wrote

Because there are different types of scientists that study different things. The scientists in the article probably don't know much about medicine, so they can't help you with your bone issues.


bigtimesauce t1_iut1x4k wrote

Man fuck Italy, do something useful for once.