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TuesdayShuffle t1_ix8o0xf wrote

Ok......I'm really starting to get Florida Man vibes every time I read a Texas Woman headline.....

edit: I feel really bad getting 100 up votes and not being completely honest....I was actually married to Texas Woman for 10 years. Sorry for letting you all down. ( I will never say y'all bc of Texas Woman 😢)


AudibleNod OP t1_ix8pgvj wrote

Like the Texas Woman who drove in the HOV lane while pregnant, twice.


TuesdayShuffle t1_ix8pls3 wrote

Hey! I actually liked that one, she was trying to prove a point. She actually got her first ticket thrown out.


AudibleNod OP t1_ix8ptsz wrote

They're gonna keep throwing that one out. Lest they be forced to defend their position of 'life begins at conception'. They're basically telling pregnant women to drive in the HOV lane for free.


strugglz t1_ix9hvv1 wrote

Well, not free. They still have to go through the hassle of getting the ticket dismissed.


muusandskwirrel t1_ixa7tn3 wrote

Only one seat in the car was in use.


17times2 t1_ixdphjp wrote

Carpool lane signs and laws only specify multiple occupants, not multiple seats.


muusandskwirrel t1_ixdrc97 wrote

They could easily adjust the wording of the laws to get around the “when does life begin” argument, was my point


Rainbow-Death t1_ix96gmu wrote

Same, you can’t argue every pregnancy has human rights that supersede the mothers health or the right to choose where it’s viable or not and then pick and choose when it’s inconvenient for the law.


mces97 t1_ix8xwk0 wrote

I think Texas passed or is trying to pass a law saying pregnant women can use the hov lane.


ethidium_bromide t1_ix973im wrote

Texas=Big Florida with Better Food


RaspberryTechnical90 t1_ixab8c7 wrote

What? The food was the best part of living in Florida!?


ethidium_bromide t1_ixdll85 wrote

I haven’t actually spent much time in Florida, that’s just what I told a Texan I dated. He would be so offended when I called Texas “big Florida”, but when I added in “with better food”, he accepted it. Also I just love barbecue :)


RaspberryTechnical90 t1_ixebgd3 wrote

Haha that’s very fair. Living in Fl was a terrible experience for me, the Cuban and Caribbean food were the only saving graces. We did live in San Antonio when I was little though, and my few memories from then all involve delicious warm tortillas.

…I like food. Lol


PopeAdrian37th t1_ix8n7im wrote

Monkey doesn’t go back in the bottle man


behind_looking_glass t1_ixckdbg wrote

Ah, well, sir, I feel like a, like a slice o’ butter...meltin’ on top of a big ol’ pile of flapjacks.


TheShroudedWanderer t1_ix8wpj8 wrote

Well she's a real fuckin genius ain't she. So first off she tried to smuggle an endagered animal in a wodden box with airholes and claimed it was beer through the MEXICO-US border? That border what with all the drug and immigration concerns. And she didn't think they might check the suspicious wooden box with airholes that probably sounds like it contains a live monkey? Through a border where a shot load of drugs get smuggled?... And she advertised the monkey online using her OWN phone number. Not even a burner or anything just normal mobile number?

Jesus Christ.


SeekingTanelorn t1_ix976gw wrote

Maybe she drank all of the beer in the case to fit the monkey in there ;)


JanitorKarl t1_ixaj4jl wrote

Maybe the monkey drank the beer.


MississippiJoel t1_ixdqzcf wrote

"I swear there was a whole bunch of beer in that box when I closed it, officer!

So... I guess you won't charge me alcohol duty for this? I'm free to go now?"


CaputGeratLupinum t1_ix8qpz9 wrote

They didn't bust her for having an endangered monkey, in Texas it's illegal to say there's beer when there isn't


TzarKazm t1_ix9lv89 wrote

Yeah man I tell ya what…Did one of them snipe hunts last night man with them sticks and bags and Whack! Whack! man, go Woooo-loo-loo! … Talk about big mistake y’all… It’s right there in that cooler, where the beer should be.


bermuda__ t1_ix8oemh wrote

Is her name "Peggy"? Because this seems like a Peggy kinda thing.


radicalelation t1_ix8p6cb wrote


Dummy should've had a patas or vervet...


bermuda__ t1_ix8pa5f wrote

Oh I was making a King of the Hill reference.


radicalelation t1_ix8pkyc wrote

I figured but got curious since the article didn't even say. Then I got to learn about savanna monkeys for a joke.

It's a good day so far.


Drink-my-koolaid t1_ix92wr7 wrote

Poor little monkey, probably stolen from his momma :(


taez555 t1_ix8vhxn wrote

Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!


Jenetyk t1_ix8xml2 wrote

We finally got COVID winding down, and this woman is trying to throw motaba virus into the mix?


debzmonkey t1_ix8uoql wrote

Thankfully this woman was/is incredibly stupid.


jpgorgon t1_ix9dnp1 wrote

Qatar: English man arrested smuggling beer in box he claimed held endangered spider monkey


BD_9x t1_ix8to74 wrote

Texas women and Florida men man


Jeremycycles t1_ix919ka wrote

Chip i'm going to come at you like a spider monkey


MooKids t1_ix940wl wrote

Should have claimed the monkey drank all the beer.


SamBeamsBanjo t1_ix94w87 wrote

"That monkey drank all my beer"

The only defense you need


remberzz t1_ixbg9g7 wrote

So they found her through online postings, not....via her car and license plate info?


pedestrianstripes t1_ixc9lcv wrote

Does anyone else wonder what would happen if Texas Woman and Florida Man met and fell in love? Their love story would be epic!


breadexpert69 t1_ix920r1 wrote

The funny thing about Trumps wall is that it does not slow down idiots like these.


CritaCorn t1_ix99yrb wrote

Texas and Florida have some kind of “stupid” pride race going on here


Mahgenetics t1_ix9iyej wrote

Whats up with Texas people and trafficking animals? I heard there are more Tigers in Texas than there is in the wild.


Sir-Bruncvik t1_ixarlsa wrote

Texas has insanely lax wildlife laws unfortunately 😔


mercer1235 t1_ixaghh1 wrote

Serves her right for trapping my man in there with no beer


SortaRican4 t1_ixbkdxn wrote

This is just like that movie Outbreak


RandomChurn t1_ixdk2h5 wrote

Haha was scrolling the comments for this reference: my first thought! That reckless f-ing cunt! We're not through the last pandemic!


Zachariot88 t1_ixe8yyt wrote

I can't believe they recast Patrick Dempsey, smh.


SourSackAttack t1_ixc63v3 wrote

What the fuck is up with weird southern and Midwestern people getting exotic animals??


AstarteOfCaelius t1_ix9g4q9 wrote

The monkey looks to be over it, entirely. 😂


Thatguyxlii t1_ix9vx9k wrote

"M'aam, your case of Budweiser is making squeaking noises".


kingofpotatopeople92 t1_ixaw4so wrote

That's ok. This is more soothing than my last one: ‘’ ‘’ for the entire trip, no less. /s


joepanda111 t1_ixaasvu wrote

Guess we’re about to experience the monkey virus soon


Zealousideal-Tax-496 t1_ixahc1v wrote

The legs of a spider, the body of a monkey, and it eats children's heads. Jesus, what a nightmare.


Nirwood t1_ixatc8p wrote

This happens to me all the time. Put some beer in a bag and never know what you'll get by the time you're home.

Edit: what ya'all get.


ryanh1691 t1_ixch699 wrote

This picture makes me feel sad.


psycho_nautilus t1_ixcl0bv wrote

New from Southern Tier- “Spider Monkey”