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PopeOri t1_j202tax wrote

They can already freeze it for free when they die miserably on Ukrainian land during the winter.


Velkyn01 t1_j20lbef wrote

What a way to say, "Hey, you're gonna fucking die out here" lol


AudibleNod t1_j203xi4 wrote

Hey. Remember that easy victory Russia was going to have in its effort to denazify Ukraine? Well, here's a cup. Because in the likely event you don't return we want your wife to raise a baby by herself. Don't worry it's free. Just don't think about who's going to by with your wife as you're cold and alone in a foxhole while a drone hovers overhead.


kingofpotatopeople92 t1_j20agyz wrote

Why doesn't anyone read the fine print?

The donation is free but ^^^the ^^^unfreezing ^^^costs ^^^one ^^^baby ^^^for ^^^the ^^^war ^^^effort. ^^^So ^^^best ^^^have ^^^twins.


MalcolmLinair t1_j20dlmq wrote

In other words, Russia acknowledges that they're going to kill off so much of their male population that they're going to need to turn to artificial insemination in order to survive as a people.


Imaginary-Fun-80085 t1_j21plfl wrote

would be such a shame if the freezers in the facility were somehow defrosted due to security oversight.


Claystead t1_j23tokj wrote

Elon: "Man, I keep unplugging the freezers but this yoghurt keeps tasting just as bad! Man, sure is good I bought this place, because it needs a fixer-upper!"


VyrPlan t1_j203xmq wrote

or they could, i dunno...maybe get tf out of ukraine, go home, and make russian babies the old fashioned way


Eeeegah t1_j20syxu wrote

That's quite the deal. I mean, sure, Putin sent me out here ill-equipped and ill-trained to die, but I can have my sperm frozen, so that somehow in the distant future mecha-Putin can do it to my children too.


dittybopper_05H t1_j207gid wrote

Well, it *IS* winter. So yeah, it'll freeze for free, no problem.


JohnGillnitz t1_j209e03 wrote

I'm sure there will be many patriotic Russian women who would be proud to microwave and turkey baste their way to another child to sacrifice to Putin.


pomaj46809 t1_j21etbs wrote

Yeah, they just need to jack off on the wall near their bunk.


Cold-Reflectionz t1_j2078jr wrote

It's going to be the only part left of most of them.


fdog100 t1_j20fs1y wrote

Do the Russians love their children too?


keskeskes1066 t1_j21m5f4 wrote

Will no one think of the next generation of . . rapists?


Showerthawts t1_j20gezn wrote

So Putin or his KGB successor can draft them too.


me50e t1_j20aatu wrote

wow, lawyers are cheap in russia!


whistlingbatter t1_j211bmd wrote

usually they just rape Ukranian Women to carry on their genes


mosi_moose t1_j21ez73 wrote

Russian troops are going to freeze their balls off in Ukraine.


Big_Custardman t1_j21fh3u wrote

Go die in Ukraine in winter, Thats another why to get your sperm to freeze for free !


shiznitshiz t1_j217pu1 wrote

Isn't most Russian sperm already frozen?...


keskeskes1066 t1_j21mnll wrote

Some is actually quite warm, if only temporarily, by drone delivered HEAT munitions.

(HEAT = High Explosive Anti-Tank).


Gonkimus t1_j21ab4a wrote

What do they do shoot a load on top of shaved ice cone? ❄️


Robuk1981 t1_j235kgp wrote

Nah just freeze to death in the winter due to lack of winter gear and hot food.


Future-Studio-9380 t1_j21dx7s wrote

Would be funny if it was just a regular freezer filled with dixie cups of Russian happy juice


keskeskes1066 t1_j21ncku wrote

No Dixie cups.

Just filled gallon milk jugs.

SERGEANT: "Shaddup Private and get back in line.

Nobody gonna know or care who gets or gives it.

Ask your mother how that works."


Prodiuss t1_j21l3om wrote

What they mean is that on the front lines, your sperm will freeze.


nothrfathed t1_j22aa7n wrote

Well, so much for survival of the most fit....


wolverine6 t1_j20zluq wrote

They'll need something to eat I guess.


deenasaur t1_j235x6s wrote

Is this a way of saying, “we are preparing for our own nuclear fallout hitting our troops, and soon the cancer will prevent them from reproducing?”


AfterBumblebee4265 t1_j23lday wrote

Cant wait to visit Jizz hill landfill in New Ukraine


Zandt88 t1_j23z6tg wrote

Yes when winter come your sperm freeze along with rest of you. This is advantage of being on front lines.


Martianmanhunter94 t1_j2260xw wrote

Hahahah. They should bank cells. Maybe the Chinese or the Koreans can clone them


The_AV_Archivist t1_j23kzhl wrote

"These yogurt pops they replaced our rations with taste funny..."


whyyou- t1_j24cuha wrote

I read a conspiracy theory that the invasion of Ukraine wasn’t all about money and prime land, it was also about people. Russia has a really low fertility rate with high young men mortality rate, it’s population growth has been negative for a while and those 50 million healthy Ukrainian were looking great.


mohvespenegas t1_j24mces wrote

“You’re probably gonna die, but our population needs replenishing”.


WolfThick t1_j20c795 wrote

Yep they're planning for the future you know when the covid outbreaks in Russia it's going to be really bad for them. If Russia was once a rock it's now pebbles.