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synchrohighway t1_j0zizcs wrote

So many assholes shouldn't be parents.

456

PatrickBearman t1_j0zuvd4 wrote

Stuff like this is also yet another reason abortion should be legal. Not saying it was the case here, but too many terrible parents end up as parents because their only option was to keep a pregnancy.

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synchrohighway t1_j0zwkgf wrote

Exactly. And then you have so many of their fucked up damaged kids growing up and inflicting more harm on the people around them. People need to hammer it in that not everyone needs to be a parent.

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mossiemoo t1_j11bsrx wrote

Or they ( the grown kids) have debilitating cPTSD and can barely function in society, because of the depression, anxiety, and other effects of the repeated trauma of abuse. Not all people who suffer horrendous abuse inflict it on others when they grow up. Sometimes they continue to be abused in adult life because that's all they think they are worth. A life of suffering because of shitty parents and lack of mental health services. 😢

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BadRabiesJudger t1_j11kz2n wrote

It will never work because you need more people to consume and work. Without that stock prices can’t continue to increase indefinitely. Without that the rich won’t ever get a space yacht. Think of the rich.

13

mlc885 t1_j14tkks wrote

This is weird enough that it sounds like some sort of psychological problem, I don't think the woman would have realized that she didn't want to be a mother. Abortion should've legal, of course, but this case is probably unrelated.

1

[deleted] t1_j0zvuof wrote

[removed]

−26

ChocoboRocket t1_j0zyh95 wrote

>Stuff like this is also yet another reason abortion should be legal. Not saying it was the case here, but too many terrible parents end up as parents because their only option was to keep a pregnancy.

>Yeah the daughter shouldn't be allowed to live.... you're a psycho.

How did you get shouldn't be allowed to live, from unfit parents should be able to access safe abortion for children they don't want so they can't abuse/neglect/resent their own children throughout their childhoods.

Op even said this isn't case in this story, clearly giving shit humans an option to not be forced to raise unwanted children is a good thing.

There's a difference between an alive human being 'unmade' Vs. Being aborted and never alive in the first place. People who are against abortion don't seem to be able to wrap their head around it though.

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madmax77xll t1_j0zwn8y wrote

You didn't give a better option. The daughter should stay with a parent that doesn't want them or actively hates them?

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[deleted] t1_j10fphd wrote

[deleted]

−37

dofffman t1_j10k4jl wrote

Um he was not saying forced abortions. OP used the term "option"

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ElegantLandscape t1_j10w14p wrote

What are you even replying to? No one is trying to force abortions. Also adoption is not a whole solution to the issue of abortions.

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HanaBothWays t1_j105q2t wrote

This is, like, the worst and most cringe argument you can make for reproductive rights.

The real problem here is the mindset that a parent essentially owns their child and can do whatever to them.

−70

PatrickBearman t1_j108ext wrote

>This is, like, the worst and most cringe argument you can make for reproductive rights. >

I believe that people who don't want to have children should have abortion as an option to ensure that they don't have children, rather than having a child that they didn't want (or want yet) thrust upon them. How is exactly is that the "worst and most cringe argument?"

Unwanted children, poverty, and mental health issues are all linked to abuse. While none of these things guarantee that abuse occurs, they all increase the likelihood that it occurs.

>The real problem here is the mindset that a parent essentially owns their child and can do whatever to them.

That is a problem, yes, but in life there is rarely one singular problem. Abortion access is part of the problem.

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HanaBothWays t1_j109pca wrote

> I believe that people who don’t want to have children should have abortion as an option to ensure that they don’t have children, rather than having a child that they didn’t want (or want yet) thrust upon them.

What makes you think the woman in this article didn’t want to have children?

Plenty of people who abuse their kids wanted to have those kids.

−30

PatrickBearman t1_j10ezyl wrote

>What makes you think the woman in this article didn’t want to have children? >

I literally said "Not saying that was the case here..." because I don't know if this woman was forced into pregnancy. My point was that there are situations like this which could have been avoided if everyone had abortion access.

>Plenty of people who abuse their kids wanted to have those kids.

I understand this, which I demonstrated by stating:

Unwanted children, poverty, and mental health issues are all linked to abuse. While none of these things guarantee that abuse occurs, they all increase the likelihood that it occurs.

I never disputed the fact that willing parents are abusive. My original comment was to expound on, not refute, the idea that too many assholes have children. If you take my comments within context, the only possible read is a) assholes can be abusive parents and b) people can have unwanted children thrust upon them, increasing the likelihood of an abusive environment.

This is what you're doing.

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HanaBothWays t1_j10n1gu wrote

So, you just wanted to shoehorn something about abortion into a totally unrelated discussion, and I’m the problem.

−24

ElegantLandscape t1_j10vgz3 wrote

Yes actually you are.

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HanaBothWays t1_j10w4oo wrote

Gee, maybe my mother aborting me would have solved me according to you.

−7

ElegantLandscape t1_j10x5vq wrote

Wow, way to jump the shark, your inability to see nuance during an online discussion is not indicative of you needing to be solved by being dead, but jump to hyperbolic comments for fun I guess?

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HanaBothWays t1_j10xb9t wrote

> Wow, way to jump the shark, your inability to see nuance during an online discussion is not indicative of you needing to be solved by being dead, but jump to hyperbolic comments for fun I guess?

Can’t see what isn’t there!

−5

PatrickBearman t1_j110c8z wrote

You're the "problem" in that you're deliberately misinterpreting my comments because you're angry that I mentioned abortion. You're extremely argumentative for no apparent reason, so I'm guessing that you either disagree with abortion or you have some experience with abuse. I commiserate if it's the latter. The potential of someone responding like you did is why I specifically included the caveat in the original comment.

The neat thing about systemic issues is that they aren't simple, so discussions about specific events can often lead to discussions other, related issues. Child abuse can and does happen in all walks of life, but there's also specific situations in which this behavior is more likely to happen. It's easy enough to say "this woman is an asshole," but that doesn't do much in terms of addressing the issue. My goal in mentioning abortion (other than it being a topical issue) was to highlight a potential cause to this type of situation that maybe some people wouldn't think of.

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HanaBothWays t1_j111d8e wrote

Dude, I hear the argument “abortion would prevent children from being born to abusive/unfit parents” all the time, it is not something novel. Hundreds of people say this every day! It is a stock argument for abortion rights and not a good one!

It is also gross to bring up because the idea that abortion is a way to solve the problem of “unfit parents” has its roots in eugenicist thinking. And “forcing people who might be unfit parents to get abortions or be sterilized” is not just some theoretical thing, this country was doing it officially through the 70s and unofficially through the 80s or 90s.

−4

PatrickBearman t1_j1457ha wrote

>Dude, I hear the argument “abortion would prevent children from being born to abusive/unfit parents” all the time, it is not something novel. Hundreds of people say this every day! It is a stock argument for abortion rights and not a good one! >

Well if you've seen it then I suppose everyone else has. Next time I'm considering discussing something I'll make sure to dm you to avoid wasting time posting something that everyone has seen.

>It is also gross to bring up because the idea that abortion is a way to solve the problem of “unfit parents” has its roots in eugenicist thinking. And “forcing people who might be unfit parents to get abortions or be sterilized” is not just some theoretical thing, this country was doing it officially through the 70s and unofficially through the 80s or 90s.

I'm aware. I'm also aware that you're grasping at straws trying to connect my comments to forced abortion. It's almost like you had a knee jerk reaction to something and decided to double down with extreme hyperbole. I never once presented abortion as a solution to "unfit parents." In fact, I said quite the opposite. I'm aware of the history of forced sterilization.

You're the one viewing this as a binary issue. Meanwhile, I outright stated that this is a complex issue and openly agreed with you multiple times. My comments simple mentioned one part of the issue. But hey, why read what someone writes when you can be an arrogant, condescending asshole who makes up arguments for someone who is clearly sympathic to your cause.

3

HanaBothWays t1_j149hyt wrote

> Well if you’ve seen it then I suppose everyone else has.

Unironically yes.

−1

PatrickBearman t1_j14z4ac wrote

It's not everyday someone enthusiasticly perpetuates the "smug lib" stereotype, but I'll be damned if you aren't trying your best.

Good luck with making up shit to be aggressively angry over.

1

[deleted] t1_j10ftp3 wrote

[deleted]

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HanaBothWays t1_j10mxl1 wrote

No. Some people can’t handle it when their kids aren’t perfectly compliant. Other people can’t deal with their issues in a healthy way and take it out on people close to them.

Not everyone is as fortunate as you are and some people have to deal with horrible things.

2

Swagaru t1_j10kg3i wrote

They’re saying you’d avoid parents like that lady because the would be parents now have the option to not birth a child.

Idk how that’s difficult to understand.

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HanaBothWays t1_j10mgod wrote

How do you know she did not want to give birth to her daughter?

−9

Swagaru t1_j10n2sn wrote

Probably the fact that she’s now bullying her daughter online anonymously?

I guarantee most parents who initially want children aren’t going to do some twisted and sick shit like that.

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HanaBothWays t1_j10osfw wrote

How do you know? Are you a therapist who treats abused children? Do you study abusive parents? Do you know the factors that lead to child abuse or interpersonal abuse within families? Do you or anyone close to you have any personal experience with emotional abuse within the family? Are you familiar with the behavior patterns of narcissistic parents?

−6

Swagaru t1_j10p0rq wrote

What’s your point here? What are you even arguing lol?

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HanaBothWays t1_j10pfwu wrote

“Abortion rights would stop child abuse!” is a stupid reductive argument based on a false premise.

Also you don’t understand the dynamics of abuse, which I guess means you are a very fortunate person.

0

ElegantLandscape t1_j10vr0m wrote

Abortion lowers crime rates due to less abused and traumatized people becoming criminals. So yeah kinda, what is even your goal with your replies?

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HanaBothWays t1_j10w2pb wrote

Crime rates went down because we took lead out of gasoline and stopped damaging developing brains.

1

ElegantLandscape t1_j10wtom wrote

That is a theory but another great theory with a nice amount of statistical research and support is the 1.5 million abortions at the height of legalization. Here is a podcast talking to researchers and a transcript. https://freakonomics.com/podcast/abortion-and-crime-revisited/

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HanaBothWays t1_j10xgw8 wrote

That’s nice what does it have to do with child abuse

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ElegantLandscape t1_j10xrj4 wrote

So you didn't read the transcript about the research and who was choosing abortion and why?

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HanaBothWays t1_j10yfik wrote

Why someone chooses to have an abortion is not my business!

Also you still don’t know whether the lady in this article abused her daughter because she was an unwanted child. You have no basis for that. Plenty of people choose to have kids and then treat those kids horribly. People abusing their kids is not a soapbox for you or anyone else to make a pro-abortion argument. Neither is poverty or crime or any other societal ill - other than people being denied their right to have an abortion if they want/need one.

1

ElegantLandscape t1_j10z7p1 wrote

Actually, all of those reasons are GREAT arguments to use for pro choice! Use all the arguments that imply making a child and adults life better. You don't get reproductive rights in a vacuum, you get them by convincing every single person in every way possible that they are good for the child, the individual, and society. Sorry you are so salty about this but we should use every tool in the toolbox. Also no one linked this mom to abortion directly, they even couched that in the original comment. Stay mad.

9

HanaBothWays t1_j10zh7n wrote

> Actually, all of those reasons are GREAT arguments to use for pro choice! Use all the arguments that imply making a child and adults life better.

Actually it implies that you think forced abortions as part of a eugenics program might be a neat idea which is why it’s awful.

−1

ElegantLandscape t1_j111y9f wrote

No it doesn't lol, no where did we say force or imply it. Have an abortion for literally any reason you want as long as it's your choice.

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HanaBothWays t1_j112cs1 wrote

I mean when you see a story like this and your first thought is “timely and well-placed abortions prevent things like this!” yes actually that implies it pretty strongly.

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dancefan2019 t1_j10ta1q wrote

I'll step in here as a Licensed Social Worker who works with families that are abusive, and have studied in college the dynamics of abuse. Plenty of people who do want children and purposely conceived have gone on to abuse their children, often because they are repeating abusive patterns that were learned in their own childhood, or because of their own psychological issues, or because they feel entitled to do what they want with their children out of a sense of ownership or entitlement. There may be some who abuse because the child was not wanted in the first place, but abuse mainly occurs because that abusive pattern was learned in childhood.

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AStartIsBorn t1_j12q5s6 wrote

I have to agree with you. Even now in the 21st century, a lot of "parents" have the mindset that children are property, not human beings. It's almost like chattel slavery, and the fact that so many people these days fail to see this is a huge problem is very disturbing.

3

Flatline2962 t1_j10a1st wrote

" Well, it depends on the man. I had a man around. He used to wake me up every morning by flicking lit cigarettes at my head. He'd say, "Hey, asshole, get up and make me breakfast." You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

-Tod (Keanu Reeves) in Parenthood

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Nos9684 t1_j0zw7jq wrote

Yeah, you'd think they'd rise to the occasion for the greater good of the child, but some people cannot get through a day not being evil, deplorable assholes.

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pnsnkr t1_j0zk9oe wrote

"The texts are coming from inside the house!!!"

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HanjiZoe03 t1_j0znmcg wrote

This is literally the plot to one of the episodes from american dad lol

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redderhunt t1_j11z6t4 wrote

“You tell anyone about this I’ll fucking kill you”

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tehmlem t1_j0zjbnp wrote

That daughter needs Stelio Kontos to even the score

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FactCheckingThings t1_j0zmoxp wrote

🎵Stelio 🎵 Stelio Kontos 🎵

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Blyarx t1_j117p3q wrote

It’s been at least a decade since I’ve watched any American Dad, yet this song still pops into my head now and then.

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tehmlem t1_j11bi43 wrote

Klaus has boyz now!

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Blyarx t1_j11gyqo wrote

I need to get caught up! Roger is hilarious!

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Blyarx t1_j11gxyt wrote

I need to get caught up! Roger is hilarious!

4

Soloandthewookiee t1_j10xf1z wrote

"I just want her to be prepared in case some bully at school is as clever as I am."

Narrator: "But no bully ever would be."

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Shiplord13 t1_j11nco5 wrote

Your not getting bullied right now, so let me be the bully to get you ready to be bullied in the future… Dumbass logic at its finest.

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T_that_is_all t1_j11pwvi wrote

This woman is still stuck in the mentality of high school interactions. She never grew up.

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DirkBabypunch t1_j11qpub wrote

Even if they are, it's hard for any bully to do the level of damage you'd get from finding out it was your own mother torturing you. That's a whole extra level of psychological fuckery they can only dream of.

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Clean_Ad2102 t1_j143yho wrote

DING DING DING.....Award for idealism. Wed all enjoy a nurturing life .

2

Hour_Doughnut2155 OP t1_j0zinz3 wrote

I feel like I read a very similar case recently (in the last couple of months) - anyone happen to remember a similar situation? I'm so intrigued as to what drives someone to do this, nevermind a parent to their own child.

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PaleontologistClear4 t1_j0zo93m wrote

Sadism, as mentioned, but also narcissism. My mom was a narcissist, and man, some of the things she used to say. That was directly to me, this was before texting or anything cyber.

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tahlyn t1_j0zp459 wrote

There was a woman who bullied a daughter's classmate iirc... She pretend to be a boy interested in the girl or something like that.

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birdshitluck t1_j0zm8lt wrote

Sadists.

Generally they suffered and feel in turn its ok to make others suffer, even if it's family.

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Plastic-Attempt-5072 t1_j11ka8x wrote

She worked at the school as a coach. I wonder if she did it to spy on her daughter. To get information about her friends perhaps? Then she bullied her own daughter AND her boyfriend. She must be…I’m speechless.

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Sad_Struggle_8131 t1_j11ml0s wrote

Right?! This woman doesn’t need to be working around children. She doesn’t have the maturity/lacks good judgment.

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Plastic-Attempt-5072 t1_j11yvo1 wrote

I just don’t understand why anyone would do this. The article doesn’t explain why she bullied children. I hope the daughter doesn’t live with her mother anymore.

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Trayew t1_j11svn5 wrote

How jealous of your daughter, and crazy are you, that you’d do something like this?

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Fochinell t1_j0zjbz4 wrote

If likewise charges applied to protecting adult daughters, very few mothers on the internet would escape conviction.

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[deleted] t1_j108bkg wrote

[deleted]

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abzinth91 t1_j10yp47 wrote

I feel you

Glad to not see that piece of shit since 10 years

7

disneylegend t1_j0zv29f wrote

Reminds me of Lois and Meg Griffin.

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Misguidedvision t1_j12qtrz wrote

Man, abuse sure has come a long way. My parents just hit me with a belt for not fighting my bullies

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Mode3 t1_j12svrl wrote

You didn’t deserve to be bullied or whipped about it. Sorry that happened to you. Hope things are much better now.

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Misguidedvision t1_j12vznm wrote

Yeah I went no contact in 2020 and have been trying to squirrel away some money for a psych

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Mode3 t1_j12w8r4 wrote

Keep your head up. I used a free app called 7 cups. I couldn’t afford better help but 7 cups had a feature called “listener” which was helpful to me sometimes. I joined a group on there too. It’s not the same as therapy but it was somewhat therapeutic. Maybe look into that? Take care.

5

Drive-it-Like-Baby t1_j10uabb wrote

Bah! Smart parents bully their kids without typing it out. Idiot

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igloofu t1_j11fckn wrote

Right? Why would I leave evidence!

4

Shiplord13 t1_j11np89 wrote

“It’s easier to just do it subtly in little demeaning and passive aggressive comments. That way people can’t determine if we are doing it purposely.” - Shitty Parent, probably.

4

cmVkZGl0 t1_j1242r6 wrote

There's a joke about "intentional infliction of emotional distress" is a hard thing to actually charge anybody with because any crime can be thought of as distressing from the victim's viewpoint, but that isn't often the intent. For example, if I broke into your house and then you are scared going forward, it's just a coincidence that you are emotionally distressed after. The real intent was burglary. You would have to prove that I knowingly entered in a way that would elicit a psychological response, and that is something there's never enough evidence for it fails in court.

This bitch though? This is where intentional infliction of emotional distress actually implies. What other intention is there when you are bullying somebody? And your own daughter? Proof that they knew better.

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Sp3ctre_6 t1_j10vw8g wrote

It's one thing to bully children as an adult, but bullying your own daughter? What the absolute fuck.

5

FindorKotor93 t1_j1132vf wrote

To be honest it's very common, just not done like this. It's "ooh that top makes you look fat" every time you go out. Or "Oh you're not still into that are you, when are you going to grow up." Or "I just think it's selfish that you don't pay enough attention to me."
Just constant little niggles from people with control disorders that you can't escape.

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MikeN1978 t1_j117cfd wrote

F’n psychopath.. glad she got found out

5

Bob_Juan_Santos t1_j10qljp wrote

this is like keying your own car.

4

Otazihs t1_j12v10t wrote

Except your car doesn't have feelings, doesn't feel pain and doesn't give a shit...

0

HeadTransportation95 t1_j0zp0jz wrote

An even worse version of the “carefrontation” letter from Awkward. Yikes.

3

Ok-Supermarket9120 t1_j10muo1 wrote

For one thing the daughter needs to be somewhere else, then put mommie dearest in jail.

3

Pure-Kaleidoscope759 t1_j13rj9b wrote

What on earth would cause this woman to cyberbully her own daughter? Her daughter won’t be able to trust her mother ever. What this mom did was awful.

2

-_theodolit_- t1_j10ngfe wrote

Mom to kid: She gunna learn today. Kid to mom: She gunna learn today.

1

omeletcrotch t1_j11pk8v wrote

I wonder what the statutes of limitations on cyber bullying is, maybe I can get my dad locked up.

1

juicyfizz t1_j12143c wrote

/r/iamatotalpieceofshit

1

120GoHogs120 t1_j12ci0q wrote

Imagine your parent joining your Xbox live game lobby and naming all the embarrassing shit in your life and the whole lobby grilling you.

1

Scary-Duck-5898 t1_j13fc3d wrote

In fairness who doesn’t cyber bully their own kids? Little jerks.

1

Lamontyy t1_j10d8qg wrote

How you get cyber bullied?.... Just turn off the computer.

/s

−17

Mode3 t1_j12t0jh wrote

Try deleting the /s and see if it’s funnier? I laughed

0

celebrityDick t1_j10rkmq wrote

Seems hard to imagine that charging someone with bullying would be constitutional

−27

tmoney144 t1_j10sqzf wrote

She was charged with stalking, which likely means she made threats of harming someone.

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celebrityDick t1_j11o4zd wrote

>She was charged with stalking, which likely means she made threats of harming someone.

The fact that the article is unspecific about the charges makes it seem like they want us to believe that the verbal bullying of children is a chargeable offense

−9

QuintoBlanco t1_j112zx7 wrote

Would you care to explain why you think this?

10

celebrityDick t1_j11mwvp wrote

> Would you care to explain why you think this?

Obviously on 1st amendment grounds. People have the right to say cruel and hurtful things, even to children. Why do you think the state should intercede in such matters?

−10

lunartree t1_j12wsvf wrote

> People have the right to say cruel and hurtful things, even to children

I can't believe you have to be told this, but this is not protected by the first amendment and indeed a form of child abuse.

Edit: shockingly this guy is a libertarian lol

5

pure_hate_MI t1_j144iqb wrote

Yeah one look through his post history shows this is sadly on par with every other take he has.

1

QuintoBlanco t1_j133at0 wrote

Have you done any research? Don't be tricked by people. Do your own research.

All legal experts agree that the protection of free speech in the Constitution cannot be absolute, because that would allow people to give false testimony in court.

Many legal experts believe that this part of the constitution must be incomplete, based on the wording of the relevant sentence.

There have been many legal cases where free speech stood at the core of the argument, and there is plenty of jurisprudence that makes it clear that freedom of speech is not absolute.

In general, the right to free speech means that citizens can publish their opinion without interference of the government, but not that citizens can bully, threaten, and/or deceive, other citizens with impunity.

Example: if you don't like Joe Biden, you can say that you don't like Joe Biden and you can specify why you don't like Joe Biden. You can say that he is a liar, a bad president, that he is too old, or that he is confused.

It's not illegal to say negative things about the president. Within reason...

If you say specific negative things about him that are factually not true, that is slander (libel when written). You might get sued in civil court.

If you threaten his life because you don't like him, the FBI will come knocking. because that's something for a criminal court.

3

celebrityDick t1_j14r6dq wrote

> All legal experts agree that the protection of free speech in the Constitution cannot be absolute, because that would allow people to give false testimony in court.

Government cannot compel people to testify in court.

>There have been many legal cases where free speech stood at the core of the argument, and there is plenty of jurisprudence that makes it clear that freedom of speech is not absolute.

Verbal bullying isn't included in any of that.

>In general, the right to free speech means that citizens can publish their opinion without interference of the government, but not that citizens can bully, threaten, and/or deceive, other citizens with impunity.

Threatening may be illegal, perhaps, but bullying and deception are perfectly lawful.

Keep in mind, just because some men with guns grabbed this woman off the street does not mean that the state is behaving lawfully. There's a difference between unlawful and illegal.

>If you say specific negative things about him that are factually not true, that is slander (libel when written). You might get sued in civil court.

This isn't a civil case. The state arrested this woman for saying mean things. And just because we've gotten to the point where the state can legally destroy people financially for the things they say doesn't make it lawful (or should be anything that any rational person supports).

>If you threaten his life because you don't like him, the FBI will come knocking. because that's something for a criminal court.

All that says is government is capable of using violence in order to inflict its will on the people, yet does nothing to speak to the lawfulness of its actions. No one denies the fact that this woman was arrested for she things she said, but what is in contention is whether the state had the lawful authority to do so

1

DusktheWolf t1_j151313 wrote

How would one prevent continued harassment in your system?

1

celebrityDick t1_j1555ll wrote

> How would one prevent continued harassment in your system?

Probably depends on the form the harassment takes. In this case, you can report bullying to whatever social media platform you're using. Minors in particular have extra protections.

People don't have a right not to be bullied, but they do have the right to choose their associations and to choose the situations in which they place themselves.

For instance if you are a member of a gym and are getting bullied at the gym, you can complain to the owner. The gym owner can remove the bully. If the gym owner refuses to do anything, you can take your business elsewhere.

0

DusktheWolf t1_j15jawq wrote

In other words, "Fuck you if you're a minority." Or anyone society deems lesser.

1

pure_hate_MI t1_j144fyj wrote

>Obviously on 1st amendment grounds.

Do you post anything that isn't a libertarian smooth brain take?

0