Submitted by dragonbits t3_102fecc in news
Comments
[deleted] t1_j2szmxx wrote
[deleted]
SpaceRiceBowl t1_j2tvtch wrote
redditors detect sarcasm challenge (impossible)
[deleted] t1_j2tj7h3 wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2t0qh0 wrote
[removed]
hello_world_wide_web t1_j2sw7am wrote
Gotta admire the honesty and transparency of the female accomplice...she might make a better girlfriend than criminal !!!
HellaTroi t1_j2t0rvn wrote
My first question was what were these two on?
Hard to believe that such concentrated stupidity exists. Even in Florida.
Flatline2962 t1_j2t1k1w wrote
DeSantis is selling tshirts that say "make America Florida" which, in addition to being a shot directly at Trump, is a *terrible* slogan because you are going to associate Florida Guy stories directly with Ron DeSantis and wind up with stuff like this.
SmokeysDrunkAlt t1_j2to7mf wrote
Just counter by finishing the sentence: Make America Florida Man. Once you can't say one without hearing the other, we've won.
Anonymous7056 t1_j2tq132 wrote
Pretty sure we won when they said "Make America Florida" in the first place. It's already the country's punching bag.
SmokeysDrunkAlt t1_j2tz7lc wrote
I agree, but the Florida Man part is too familiar of a phrase and sounds too close to Great Again that you can't unhear it with enough popularity. Shit phase all together, but easier to parrot.
Flatline2962 t1_j2u2bgm wrote
Additionally, you can't say that without hearing it in Bart Simpson's voice.
[deleted] t1_j2vyck3 wrote
[removed]
Flatline2962 t1_j2u271n wrote
*kisses fingertips*
Ksh_667 t1_j2ydeu8 wrote
Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
SuperSimpleSam t1_j2tdjq3 wrote
Yes, Florida, the role-model state. Wonder if people in Florida are deluded about their state.
eightNote t1_j2vwxwl wrote
The Florida man meme exists because of a good government policy around transparency in reporting what crimes the state is prosecuting.
Bring that to the rest of the US, and you will turn all of the states into Florida man. Everyone else hides their Florida men
BoyTitan t1_j2trjs2 wrote
In Florida defense. Florida stupidity is public due to transparency which is a good thing. I forgot the details and specifics. But rhey something that makes their arrests super public. That's why theres a Florida man meme.
hello_world_wide_web t1_j2t1hbc wrote
Presumably they were just "learning the ropes" on how to be master criminals :-)
[deleted] t1_j2t5fvj wrote
[removed]
cypressgreen t1_j2tysgp wrote
> “Deputies DID help them with their belongings, and DID give them a ride, but it wasn’t to the airport … it was to the Polk Pokey," the sheriff's office said in a Facebook post.
Sheriff’s Office gets 10 points for using the old word pokey.
dragonbits OP t1_j2srzod wrote
Back in my youth criminals were smarter.
The gov isn't always out to help you, though they did give these people a ride.
mywan t1_j2t9hvi wrote
I'm older than 911. And cameras were a rarity and limited even in places that had them. It didn't used to take much brains to get away with most crimes.
UnlawfulStupid t1_j2tqqi5 wrote
> I'm older than 911.
Dang, that's old. Suspiciously old. Like, "made a profane deal at a crossroads" old.
Hmm...
AvramBelinsky t1_j2uy1fc wrote
Not necessarily, 911 was only in certain parts of the country for a long time. I was born in the 80s and we didn't have 911 until probably sometime in the 90s. Instead we had an emergency number that was a full 7 digit phone number, taped to the wall next to our kitchen landline phone.
UnlawfulStupid t1_j2w0rq9 wrote
I was just making a joke about someone being over nine hundred years old.
AvramBelinsky t1_j2wn523 wrote
Oh, haha...oops!
Ksh_667 t1_j2ydw2k wrote
Omg I read this as 9/11. Was thinking "but surely it all took place on one day? Hence why it's called 9/11" my poor uk brain is still on holiday mode.
mynameisalso t1_j2ts7aa wrote
They weren't. You just lacked tech.
[deleted] t1_j2u1i8t wrote
[removed]
Unconfidence t1_j2tjmh1 wrote
No they weren't, y'all just didn't have social media.
[deleted] t1_j2tc0nc wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2t1tgo wrote
>Deputies responded to a home Saturday after a 911 call was made but nobody spoke, the Polk County Sheriff's Office said.
Yeah I thought this was going in a much different paranormal direction until the woman later said she did it.
>At the home, the deputies concluded that nobody lived there, but they found a male suspect and his girlfriend inside the home after entering it through an unlocked door.
But then who was burgle?
unrepairedauto t1_j2uin2k wrote
Should have used the non-emergency number
edingerc t1_j2t0sbo wrote
That's some peak Florida woMan there
jetbag513 t1_j2uv3da wrote
Sounds accurately Floridian.
999others t1_j2v0jaw wrote
They must have meth brain because even if it was their own stuff you would not call 911 to move shit for you.
commandrix t1_j2v8l6m wrote
Somehow, it doesn't disappoint me that this was Polk County.
[deleted] t1_j2ss6qp wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2t2wms wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2t4qyg wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2tzafm wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2u21x3 wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2u4sbz wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2ua42f wrote
[removed]
7Dsports25 t1_j2vuk8n wrote
I really want to hear this 911 call. I've heard of stupid criminals but I literally can't comprehend what they were thinking. And I know everyone will say "they weren't thinking" but there is some kind of logic at play here, even if it's batshit methhead logic I just need to know what their thought process was
ThinNotSmall t1_j2y0ip6 wrote
The article said that on the 911 call the suspects hung up without saying anything, which prompted the police to respond. So that call will probably be pretty boring.
Vivid-Information-36 t1_j2vzg6b wrote
As soon as I read the first word of the post title I knew it would be some stupid shit.
[deleted] t1_j2xojoy wrote
[removed]
L0rd_OverKill t1_j2w2ywf wrote
In the burglars defence, the only difference between them and the cops in Florida is a badge.
Probably figured the cops would be up for it as long as they got a reasonable share.
[deleted] t1_j2t3c7m wrote
[removed]
Kenshin220 t1_j2tord5 wrote
That's not even a good take of the original McDonald's take. The original issue was that the coffee was served hot enough to cause the woman 3rd degree burns and fuse her labia. She originally just wanted McDonald's to help with her medical bills and their behavior in court was is bad the jury gave her way over what she asked for. You can't serve people lava and then say it's their fault they spilled it
[deleted] t1_j2v1yrx wrote
[removed]
Ungodd t1_j2svkei wrote
Interesting how the Sherriff’s office takes an opportunity to shit on New York when Polk county is overrun with these methheads robbing dollar stores and dwellings.