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frodosdream t1_j5z7r5g wrote

>She said she left Lithuania and broke contact with her relatives because she did not want anything to do with them

A happy ending (in that she is safe) turns out to be not so happy news for her parents.


stml t1_j5zee1y wrote

Her parents are probably happy that she's alive and well.

Also we don't know her story, but families can be incredibly toxic or dangerous and straight up disappearing can sometimes be the only choice.


Jillredhanded t1_j5zttkg wrote

Mine knows I'm in Canada but nothing beyond that, been 4 years. Do not miss.


Cormetz t1_j61izzx wrote

I have a crazy story like this.

I knew my friend's youngest sister had a falling out with the rest of the family, but figured they would have patched things up in the 5 years since I had heard anything about it. My brother happened to run into his sister in Kathmandu of all places, so I texted my friend, the conversation was as below:

Me: hey, my brother just ran into X

Friend: oh is he in DC now?

Me: no Kathmandu?

Friend: have time for a call??

Basically they have had no contact to her since like 2016, and had no idea her husband had moved from being a musician to being an aide worker. He was blown away. I actually went to visit my brother a few weeks later and met up with her, she wasn't upset I mentioned it luckily.


Attrm t1_j5zxid1 wrote

If they were so awful that she ghosted them and moved to another country, content to let them think she died, they probably are the kind of people that would have been happier if she had actually died rather than know that she just left specifically to get away from them.


HachimansGhost t1_j60vnxp wrote

I mean, they were the ones who looked for her. If they didn't care, they wouldn't have even made a report.
Its definitely more complicated than evil parents.


waffebunny t1_j610mu6 wrote

We don’t know the details; so it could indeed be more complicated. Judgement should be reserved.

I will note as an aside that it is entirely possible for toxic individuals to search for people that have cut contact with them.

(Perhaps they are doing so as a way to reestablish control over the other party; perhaps they genuinely care, and are simply blind to their own toxicity.)


AlternativeBasket t1_j625uhz wrote

Neglectful isn't the only evil parent option. A controller might still look for them as well.


255001434 t1_j61jgbo wrote

You can tell there are a lot of teenagers here when a fair and reasonable comment like yours has negative karma. Picking sides in their family issue based on so little information is idiotic.

But parents are bad, amirite kids? /s


Same_Cantaloupe_7031 t1_j6me82w wrote

You’re defending a comment that says “definitely more complicated”. With the same little information. Bit embarrassing.

But teenagers bad, amirite?


255001434 t1_j6n7lm1 wrote

Nope. Saying it is "more complicated" is not drawing a conclusion about who is to blame, it is a truth about most familial relationships and it was said in response to comments that were taking sides. It was simply saying that we don't know what happened. Nothing embarrassing about supporting that.


Same_Cantaloupe_7031 t1_j6o1wvs wrote

“Lot of teenagers here”

Hilarious that you’re grandstanding about not knowing enough with these ridiculous generalizations. I’m glad you don’t feel embarrassment because you would no cap through the floor if you could.


notoriousnationality t1_j60qgdp wrote

20 years ago I almost did that, and I was 19 too. I used to dream about cutting contact, changing my identity and never coming back. 20 years later, and trying everything else possible, I still want to do that, just as badly! But instead I visit them and pretend everything is fine. I still want to never see them again, now with even more and more certainty. Initially I hoped that as time passed, I would start to understand them. But instead I see that they are still as heartless as they ever were. Rather I regret giving them the opportunity to demonstrate their lack of humanity to the point that I’ve become so certain of their character. If I left earlier, I would have had doubts but now I have zero doubts, and it’s quite sad to see myself become so convinced about them. Family can be toxic.


LincolnMarch t1_j63dzsr wrote

Apparently this sort of thing is built into Japanese culture. Check out the podcast "The Evaporated" a westerner it's absolutely fascinating to think that you could disappear and not be found again on an island nation just to avoid something like a debt.


waffebunny t1_j6118ve wrote

I’m sorry you find yourself in that situation, friend.

Perhaps you could still cut contact? (This far into your life, you may have laid down roots that you cannot now pull up. However, you might also have access to resources that your younger self didn’t - like the funds necessary to secure a restraining order!)


notoriousnationality t1_j63jdjm wrote

I actually live in another country! But I still visit (short visits). Still doesn’t feel far enough.


waffebunny t1_j64tmo4 wrote

Ah, that I can understand! Well - hopefully that means, at a future point, you can decease your visits if you so choose. 🙂


mazarax t1_j64v2uu wrote

If you are still in contact, tell them exactly this, what your wrote here.

If they are indifferent to it, and can’t discuss it meaningfully, maybe leave for good?


Intrepid_Leather_963 t1_j6cpd78 wrote

You can still cut contact. I'm 54 and done it 7 years ago. Best thing I ever done. I've had counselling and need more, but I'm happier away from them. X


TheLaGrangianMethod t1_j61bs1t wrote

Haven't spoken to any birth family in over 4 years. At this point, the person who is currently in my life and has been in my life the longest is my 15 year old daughter. I don't know why but that seems very strange.


mods_r_jobbernowl t1_j611u90 wrote

Reading the headline I thought for sure it'd be sex trafficking. Glad to see it's not that


EriDxD OP t1_j5yyemu wrote

>In January 2019, a woman from Raseiniai in central Lithuania left for Malaysia, where she went to visit her internet friend. She was 19 years old at the time, the Šiauliai County Chief Police Commissariat said in a press release. On December 20 last year, the woman had a video chat with Chief Investigator Vytautas Globis. “I am alive, well, and very happy,” she told him. She said she left Lithuania and broke contact with her relatives because she did not want anything to do with them.


ElCochinoFeo t1_j5z4dp5 wrote

Just because people are family, it doesn't mean you have to stay with them and let them hold influence over your life. Sometimes a person just doesn't feel like they fit in a particular family and need to go find where they belong.


NikoStrelkov t1_j5z6bq6 wrote

Yes, i totally agree. Although she could have told them that she's not planning on going back. Pretty sure they have been worrying about her.


SuperHiyoriWalker t1_j5z83az wrote

Thank FSM this wasn’t human trafficking.


Sweaty-Feedback-1482 t1_j5zhmtt wrote

Lol too a couple seconds too long to decode ‘FSM’


Fireudne t1_j5zikmd wrote

if anyone is mildly smoothbrained like me, it's "Flying Spaghetti Monster".

Took me a couple of seconds too, lol.


Fireudne t1_j5zilpz wrote

if anyone is mildly smoothbrained like me, it's "Flying Spaghetti Monster".

Took me a couple of seconds too, lol.


Deep-Mention-3875 t1_j60arpb wrote

Right she could have send them a “smell you later never contact me again” message would save so much time and effort from so many people.


HelpStatistician t1_j619add wrote

To be fair she was young and I'd be worried about her ending up in a cult or in an abusive relationship. Hopefully they really checked on her and didn't take just a short call to assume she is fine.


Shradow t1_j5z9c5v wrote

Yup. People rarely use the full phrase with its original meaning anymore, but the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. It seems I was mistaken. Though the point still stands even if the phrase isn't the original.


ask-me-about-my-cats t1_j5zxa63 wrote

That's the new version made up in the late 80's, the original indeed was simply "blood is thicker than water."


LordHayati t1_j5zyaxi wrote

Just because they're family, doesn't mean they're YOUR family. Sometimes our family have nothing in common, yet stick together through hell or high water to help each other out.


Jerrymoviefan3 t1_j616qpe wrote

I hope the parents already knew that either they or her were assholes.


TheOddOne2 t1_j60rcf5 wrote

Another container issue?


Phillyfuk t1_j61aire wrote

Hide and seek is way more interesting now than when I was a kid.


Roundaboutsix t1_j60mosi wrote

Not much of a story. Girl goes on travel, stops communicating with relatives, they launch a search. Girl found unharmed, says she doesn’t want to contact her relatives. (Soon to be a Netflix docudrama, no doubt. As they say on TV Bora-Boring!)


Squish_the_android t1_j60ipb9 wrote

> December 20 last year, the woman had a video chat with Chief Investigator Vytautas Globis. “I am alive, well, and very happy,” she told him.


I'm sorry. You got a missing foreign woman who vanishes for four years. You contact her and don't actually meet in person?

You have her come down to the station, take her back alone and ask her what's going on and if she's being threatened.


Broodking t1_j60rkjh wrote

Globis is the investigator from Lithuania. The local detectives from Malaysia made contact in person and she was cooperative enough to contact Lithuanian authorities (from the article).