Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

notoriousnationality t1_j60qgdp wrote

Reply to comment by stml in Missing Lithuanian woman found in Malaysia after 4 years of searches by EriDxD

20 years ago I almost did that, and I was 19 too. I used to dream about cutting contact, changing my identity and never coming back. 20 years later, and trying everything else possible, I still want to do that, just as badly! But instead I visit them and pretend everything is fine. I still want to never see them again, now with even more and more certainty. Initially I hoped that as time passed, I would start to understand them. But instead I see that they are still as heartless as they ever were. Rather I regret giving them the opportunity to demonstrate their lack of humanity to the point that I’ve become so certain of their character. If I left earlier, I would have had doubts but now I have zero doubts, and it’s quite sad to see myself become so convinced about them. Family can be toxic.

19

LincolnMarch t1_j63dzsr wrote

Apparently this sort of thing is built into Japanese culture. Check out the podcast "The Evaporated"...as a westerner it's absolutely fascinating to think that you could disappear and not be found again on an island nation just to avoid something like a debt.

7

waffebunny t1_j6118ve wrote

I’m sorry you find yourself in that situation, friend.

Perhaps you could still cut contact? (This far into your life, you may have laid down roots that you cannot now pull up. However, you might also have access to resources that your younger self didn’t - like the funds necessary to secure a restraining order!)

3

notoriousnationality t1_j63jdjm wrote

I actually live in another country! But I still visit (short visits). Still doesn’t feel far enough.

2

waffebunny t1_j64tmo4 wrote

Ah, that I can understand! Well - hopefully that means, at a future point, you can decease your visits if you so choose. 🙂

1

mazarax t1_j64v2uu wrote

If you are still in contact, tell them exactly this, what your wrote here.

If they are indifferent to it, and can’t discuss it meaningfully, maybe leave for good?

1

Intrepid_Leather_963 t1_j6cpd78 wrote

You can still cut contact. I'm 54 and done it 7 years ago. Best thing I ever done. I've had counselling and need more, but I'm happier away from them. X

1