Please, if you’re reading this, you have to help me. You have to get me out of here.

Go to my apartment at (REDACTED) in (REDACTED), (REDACTED) and you will find me in apartment (REDACTED).

I’m inside, trapped in this fucking headset with these haptic sensors all over my body. There’s no way of getting them off. It feels like they put superglue on the inside of the gloves and the boots, or maybe there’s some far more high-tech mechanism at play here, but either way, I’m a prisoner inside of this VR rig now.

How did I get here?

Well, I guess it all started when I woke up and noticed something strange on my phone. There was a Paypal notification which read: METAVERSE INC. - USD 33.52

My brain was still a bit foggy from sleep and I tried to remember what I could have charged to my Paypal account for that amount. I only had a couple direct withdrawals setup to Paypal, since most of them went to my credit card.

Racking my brain, I couldn’t think of anything that would fit the bill.

So, I did what anyone else would do. I Googled the word “Metaverse” and looked to see what the company was before filing a dispute claim.

It sounded familiar, and immediately I understood why. If not for the fact that I was half-asleep, I would have realized right away. It was the Facebook Metaverse. The 3D VR creation which had been designed as a virtual utopia where people could go to shop, socialize, work, play, and do whatever else the corporate overlords decided.

But I had never signed up for the Metaverse.

In fact, I didn’t even own a VR rig.

This didn’t sit right with me. Especially since I’d heard recently that the Metaverse was hemorrhaging cash, and that the whole operation was failing miserably. The article I’d read spoke of 10 billion in losses, while there were only a miniscule number of users.

There was no way I had signed up for the service, and I didn’t even use Facebook so it didn’t seem like there was any chance of an accidental purchase.

My vivid imagination pictured a nefarious plan at Facebook to use my Pixel phone’s GooglePay information to order the service without my knowledge.

I requested a refund through Paypal, saying I never received the service or product, since there was no option for “I didn’t order this shit.”

Then I went to Twitter and began to make my aggravation known to the world. I have a couple thousand followers, nothing too outrageous, and most of my tweets get one or two likes, but when I told everyone about this they totally lost their minds.

People I'd never spoken to before started retweeting, liking, and commenting immediately.

“So this is how they’re making back all their lost money? Using Google Pay data to subscribe to their shitty service no one wants!? XD” said one reply.

“HAHAHA! I hope you got a refund! That’s a pretty sneaky way to get people paying for the Metaverse! I heard they weren’t doing well but this is ridiculous!” another person commented.

The tweet was getting far more traction than my usual ones, but then it was suddenly removed.

I received no reason from Twitter, and when I tried to repost it again nothing happened. Every time I hit send it seemed like it went through but when I went to check the tweet had vanished again.

Annoyed, I was about to post my experience on Instagram or Reddit, when I received an email.

FROM: METAVERSE INC. CUSTOMER SERVICE

Subject: Incidental charge

I opened the email and was surprised to find it was from a customer service manager at Metaverse Inc. Reading the contents of the email, I began to feel a strange knot growing in my belly. It felt like someone was pouring cement down my gullet, and it was hardening and drying in my gut, getting heavier and heavier by the second.

Dear Mr. Grupe, the email read.

We at Metaverse Inc. were displeased to hear that you noticed the recent charge you incurred on our behalf. Rest assured that we are looking into the matter and will provide you with a prompt refund.

As a token of apology, please allow us to offer you an additional gift.

We noticed in your tweet that you said you didn’t even own a VR rig. Well, we would like to remedy that situation.

VR is a very fun and even therapeutic recreational experience. It is enjoyed by many people, as is the Metaverse, despite your assertion that it is a “wallet-fucking cartoon-world built on lies for the enjoyment of idiots.”

As such, we would like to afford you the opportunity to experience it.

The Metaverse should be enjoyed by all. And one day, it will be.

For you, we would like to provide a free HTC headset with haptic bodysuit for your use. Of course, it will be your decision if you wish to participate in the Metaverse, but we hope you will give it a shot!

Thank you ever so much for bringing this situation to our attention.

Sincerely,

The Metaverse Team

After reading the email again, I read it three more times.

Were they serious? Was this a prank? A joke? Viral marketing?

What the fuck was going on?

I was suddenly very scared. It occurred to me that I had been talking shit publicly about one of the world’s largest and most powerful corporations. They could easily have me killed or silenced, they could probably wipe out my entire life if they wanted to. I had no doubt they could destroy my career in the tech industry, and could make my YouTube channel vanish into the world of shadowbanned trash.

The doorbell rang and a chill ran up my spine.

Was that them? Were they here, at my front door?

No, that was ridiculous.

Still, my legs were trembling when I got up and walked to the front door.

I opened it and my heart skipped a beat. Jumping backwards, I yelped in fear as a huge drone helicopter was hovering just outside. For a second I thought it would charge forward, slicing my neck with its razor-sharp robot-controlled rotor blades.

But instead a screen lit up on the front of it, showing a green smiley-face.

“Thank you for choosing THE METAVERSE,” it said in a robotic voice, then took off into the air, disappearing into the clouds.

“... the fuck was that?” I asked no one in particular, then looked down to see there was a large package on my doorstep.

I picked it up with a growing feeling of anxiety, bringing it inside.

After a few minutes of deliberation, I decided to open it. This was clearly the “gift” promised by the Metaverse people, but I hadn’t expected it to arrive so quickly. Normally corporations were slow to respond, taking weeks to send things by mail, but this had arrived within a half hour of my tweet. Everything about this was disturbing and was giving me a dystopian sort of vibe that I didn’t like.

Still, I unboxed it and looked inside, finding a gleaming HTC VR rig, with all of the state-of-the-art haptic technology to go along with it.

Sure, I’d never owned any of this stuff, but I’d definitely researched it. I was salivating at the opportunity to one day own a VR rig, but I’d never been able to afford one. Especially not one like this, which cost thousands of dollars.

A hand-written card was inside the box as well, which I opened and read.

Please enjoy, with our sincere apologies

THE METAVERSE TEAM

It still didn’t make sense to me how they could have done all this in such a short period of time, but then again, I’d heard that Google was always listening, so maybe this was just further proof.

Despite my misgivings, I decided to set up the VR rig. I got it all hooked up and powered it on.

There was an entire haptic bodysuit, I realized, to go along with the gloves and boots. Trying on the outfit, I noticed that it fit perfectly, as if it had been tailored to my specific dimensions. I put the gloves on, and the footwear next. With all of the haptics on, I took a deep, unsteady breath, and put the VR goggles on my head, tightening the strap around my chin.

A moment after I put it on, my entire field of view became infused with imagery.

After a few seconds of looking around, I understood where I was.

I was in THE METAVERSE.

Surprisingly, it was pretty impressive. At least to someone who’d never really used VR before.

“Wow,” I said to myself, glancing around.

“Yeah, wow,” a woman’s voice said, and I saw a cartoonish lady coming around a corner. She had raven-black hair and a scowl etched on her face.

“Do you have any idea how much effort it takes to create a place like this?” she asked, approaching me quickly. “And you go on Twitter and shit all over it.”

A second later she was practically on top of me, and then she threw a punch hard at my gut.

The impact to my midsection caught me completely off-guard. It reminded me of being back in elementary school when a bully beat the shit out of me during recess, and knocked the wind out of me. This was just like that, except a hundred times worse.

I was still recovering my breath, on the ground on my hands and knees with no memory of how I got there, when she kicked me in the ribs. The blow was so powerful through the haptic bodysuit that it sent me flying, tumbling sideways in a barrel roll.

My real-life body crashed into my entertainment unit, smashing my television and shattering broken glass everywhere. It dug into my flesh and I felt blood filling the suit in places.

“Do you have any idea how hard we worked, only to have our efforts mocked?”

The next kick was to the back of my knee, and I heard it break with a bone-shattering pop. I screamed so loud that the neighbors must have heard me. Unless all of their Google Home devices malfunctioned at the same exact instant, playing a brief blast of loud music and drowning out my screams. That idea occurred to me after the woman left me half-conscious in a pool of my own blood, spitting out teeth and crying in pain.

“I hope you enjoy this place we made for ungrateful people like you,” was the last thing the woman said, as her avatar vanished. “Because you’re gonna be spending a long, long time here.”

She was right.

I tried to take off the VR goggles, but they were completely sealed onto my face. Same with the gloves, boots, and haptic bodysuit. I’m a prisoner inside this virtual reality getup, while one after another the Metaverse employees file in to kick the living shit out of me in every way possible, taking out their frustrations on me.

I’m not sure how long it’s been. I’m not even sure if this is getting out there.

I eventually escaped from that section of the VR world and found this old-school computer in an internet cafe in the Metaverse. After trying every possible avenue on it, attempting to contact help from the outside world via Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, I gave up and went on Reddit, hoping to kill some time.

This subreddit popped up on my feed and I noticed it is filled with other experiences from people like me. People who had things happen that aren’t normal.

Maybe this post will just blend in. But maybe, just maybe, someone else will notice it.

I’m not holding out hope for a rescue.

At this point I just want to warn you all.

If you notice a charge on your credit card, Paypal, or bank account, which says it’s from METAVERSE INC., don’t dispute it. And whatever you do, don’t tweet about it or complain on Facebook or Instagram about it.

Just quietly pay it. And every charge that follows.

Because trust me, the alternative is much, much worse.

JG

TCC