I see there's more to the story so I can't be sure you're even around to read this anymore, OP, but there's another lesson to be taken from what you just experienced. If you find yourself in Martina's place a few decades from now, introducing your young and confident kids or grandkids or whomever to this wholesome family legacy of yours, do whatever you can to prepare them before the first storm. There's more she could and should have told you. There may not have been time for deeper explanations, but there was enough to brace you just a little bit more for what you were about to see and hear. Maybe it wouldn't have lessened the trauma, but I think it could have. When your turn comes, give the next generation the warning you didn't get.