America runs on Dunkin, but it makes me run to the bathroom. I love a good cup of coffee, but my stomach unfortunately doesn’t. So like many a time, I threw my car in park and ran quickly into the bathroom in an Indiana Jones fashion to plop down with seconds to spare.

Now the bathroom at my workplace isn’t the cleanest, but if you know the custodian schedule, you can catch that “almost new” moment. There are four stalls in the restroom, including one handicapped stall. They all are full of incredibly racist graffiti, as well as political jokes and people still praising former presidents. I was on a mission. Get done and get out before I dealt with the normal things that happened such as having to hear other men evacuate their breakfast.

Then the door slammed open and I heard the stall next to mine open and slam shut. This isn’t abnormal. I’m used to someone rushing in and barely making it until they unleash their bad diets and hangovers. And I’ve heard it all. Some people will pray, some will cuss, some will grunt, and others just hop on for TikToks or play one of the many bubble games that exist now.

The man next to me though, I heard him whispering rapidly. At first I thought he was praying, but if he was, it was no prayer I’ve ever heard. In fact, it was almost like a mantra repeated, perhaps in Latin. It wasn’t until I peaked down, I noticed he wasn’t wearing his boots. He was barefoot on our nasty floor!!

“Please no”, he whimpered. I felt for the guy, I’ve been there. But then he began to growl. He started to bang the walls of the stall he was in making a struggle. I fell silent as I wasn’t sure what I was in the bathroom with.

“Kill ‘em, kill ‘em, kill ‘em” he whispered. I was more than sure I was about to be in an active shooter situation. So my plan was to wait until he walked out and high tail it to my car to escape.

Then there was sobbing. Then there was quiet. His hatch unlocked, and he began to walk out. Time for my escape.

But as luck would have it, I couldn’t be quiet. I felt my stomach bubble but it was inevitable. I clenched my cheeks and bit my lip but it was too late.

Brrrrrrrrp.

I farted. Whatever this man was doing, he knew he wasn’t a lone.

“WHO IS THERE” he shouted, but his voice was distorted. I could hear a human voice in there being muddled with something that….wasn’t human. I watched as he approached my stall and we made eye contact through the little slit in the door. His eyes were yellow, and his teeth were canine like.

He started pounding on the door and grabbing it to shake it. Scared out of my mind, I could see the screw in the latch beginning to spin out.

I followed my instinct and placed both feet on the door to hopefully make a barricade as I pushed what weight I could into them, thank goodness I had rails in my stall. But it was to no avail. My legs have out and he tore the door down.

As he reached out his hands to grasp me, the bathroom door opened.

“What the hell is this” the custodian yelled. The man/monster turned from me and attacked him. In a cowardly move, I ran. I ran as quickly as I could and pulled the fire alarm on the way out to save everyone else. I got in my car and left.

I don’t know where to go from here, but the police want to talk to me about the body they found mutilated.