Submitted by therealdocturner t3_1254mid in nosleep

“I know you’re awake…Katherine…Kaaaaatheriiiine…”

“Shut up.” I had been awake for a little while, just staring at the wall.

“I knew it.”

“Can you not sleep?” I rolled over and looked at him as I asked the question.

James was in his rocking chair in the corner of our bedroom right next to the window. The moon outside was illuminating his face.

“I’m ok. Just a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?” I did my best to sit up. I was almost at my due date and I was enormous. During the pregnancy I wasn’t quite as sensitive to his little issues that I normally was.

James suffered from severe bouts of anxiety and he would spend lots of nights just rocking in his chair, trying not to worry about things.

“I think we should get a dog.”

“What?”

“We should get a dog. Every kid should grow up with a dog.” He turned his head to look at me. Most of his face was in shadow, but his eyes were bright. He smiled at me.

“Ok. Is that it? That’s what’s keeping you up?”

“Yes. Oh, and I also love you.”

“I love you too.”

“And I farted.” I had never known James to end anything on any kind of sappy note, so he always had to say or do something childish to ruin the moment.

I loved him so much.

-

“He’s kind of gross.” There were so many dogs at the shelter, but my husband immediately went to the mangiest one. A large mutt with his tongue hanging limply out of the side of his mouth. The mousey brown fur looked like someone had teased it with a brush and sealed the deal with an entire can of hairspray, and he had a slight limp as it walked toward this strange new man making baby talk. I watched the dog cock its head from side to side like it understood what James was saying.

“He’s perfect.” I could tell that James was in love.

“Why him?”

“Well…every other little guy in here is so animated and vibrant. He’s…um…not.”

“He looks like an oversized mouse with bad hair.”

“That’s perfect!”

“What?”

“We can name him Feivel! Does Feivel like that name?! Who’s a bugaboo doggie?! Who’s da doggie?!” The dog started making inquisitive whines and that lazy tongue came to life and began to lick the strange man's fingers through the chain link fence.

Feivel came home with us, and for a month that dog never left my husband’s side.

-

“What happened?”

“Can you put me on speaker so Art can hear me?”

“Ok. You’re scaring me Katherine.” I was trying to hold it together. James’ parents had recently moved to the east coast, so I had no choice but to call them on the phone with the news. “Ok, you’re on speaker.”

“Ok. James… um… James had an accident. It was a hit and run. Someone hit him with a car while he was crossing the street and then just kept driving.”

“Oh my God! Is he alright?”

“He’s um…” I had been with James since our sophomore year in high school, but we had been friends since we were six. I had known his parents for almost just as long.

“He’s…he’s gone.”

“Oh my God…”

I had to make lots of phone calls that day. It was the hardest day of my life.

-

“Mommy needs to talk to you.”

Feivel had been pacing the house for three days. When he wasn’t pacing, he would just sit at the front door waiting for James to come home. He wouldn't sit with me, almost like he blamed me for James not being there.

“Come here. Feivel! Come here.” He finally gave in and walked over to the couch. I patted the cushion next to me and he jumped on the couch and sat down.

He grunted at me several times and when he was done voicing his frustrations, his tongue jutted out of the side of his mouth and just hung there.

I don’t know if it sounds stupid or not, but I had a conversation with him about what had happened to his Daddy and why he wasn’t with us anymore. I felt like it would have been cruel not to.

He stared at me through the whole story and when I was finished, there was a heavy silence between us that was eventually broken by a small cry from him before he put his head in my lap.

-

Three weeks later, I had Casey. The birth was rough and there were multiple issues. For a little bit there, I was afraid that I might lose her too. She had to stay in the hospital longer than I would have liked, but when I was finally able to bring her home, Feivel took to her instantly.

He was always next to her.

-

As the years went by, I made sure Casey knew every detail about her father. I would tell her stories and Feivel would always add something in his own language. I don’t know if he was backing up what I said or perhaps contradicting it, but I do know he was always happy to be included in the reminiscing.

Shortly after she turned four, Casey’s favorite pastime was drawing with her crayons. I had quite a few pictures up on our fridge of our little family in the midst of imagined adventures. She always drew James in with us. The way she always emphasized his balding head would make me smile.

I would BBQ on Friday nights because James had always done the same.

When we first moved in, he had built a huge grilling station out of brick and bought this ridiculously large grill that could almost fit an entire cow inside of it. James had said we would need it for the amount of children and grandchildren that we were going to have. We would sit in front of it every Friday night with a bottle of whiskey while he cooked.

Casey and I would sit at the same table and have juice while we made hot dogs. I thought it was important to keep some of our traditions alive for Casey.

In spite of losing James, we were happy. I started to adjust to a life without a partner, which was not a very easy thing to do since we had been a part of each other’s lives since we were both six years old.

-

Almost five years after I lost James, I met Stephen. I was a busy woman with a young daughter and up to that point, I had not even thought about dating. There was something different about Stephen though. I was interested in him from the first time we met.

Casey and I were playing in the park with Feivel one day and somehow we lost him. He just vanished. I looked for him for hours while my mom watched Casey, but I couldn’t find him. For three days I was beside myself and Casey was constantly in tears. Then, Stephen showed up on my doorstep holding our Feivel at the end of a leash.

A tall man with thick hair and trendy glasses wearing a flannel and jeans.

“Oh my God!”

“Hi. I uh…found him in the park down by the river.” I snatched him up and he started whimpering and shaking his butt back and forth. I completely ignored the man at my door. When Feivel had had enough of my pets, he ran inside to look for Casey.

“Thank you so much. Oh my God, you have no idea how much we missed him.” I was wiping tears from my eyes.

“Oh, I might have a clue.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

As I was wiping my nose on the sleeve of my sweatshirt, I realized that the man standing at my door was gorgeous.

“Can I…let me give you some money or something. You have no idea how happy you just made my daughter.”

“No, that's ok. Just happy to help.”

“Thank you.”

There was something about the way he looked at me with his eyes. My stomach fluttered. I wanted to invite him in, and the fact that I wanted to do that upset me.

I thanked him. I didn’t even ask him for his name. I’ll admit that I even closed the door on him a little more abruptly than I meant to.

All three of us shared my bed that night. It was the best night’s sleep I’d had in years.

-

A couple weeks went by and then I saw him again, the man who had found Feivel. He was sitting in the park with his back against a tree, reading a book. Casey and I had been taking turns throwing a frisbee for Feivel, and I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I decided that I would thank him again and apologize for being so awkward.

As I walked closer, I took in every detail. I was sure he was a few years younger than I was and he looked very athletic. His glasses rested on the tip of his nose as he read from The Winter of Our Discontent; Steinbeck has always been my favorite author.

Feivel must have seen him just as I was about to say something because he reached the man before I did. I could hear Casey calling for me.

“Hold on honey. Give me a second.”

Feivel was all over the man and he was laughing at the writhing whining beast who was trying its best to lick every inch of his face.

“Feivel, don’t be rude.”

“No, it's fine. I’m glad he remembers me.”

“Yeah. Wow, he really remembers you.” Feivel was so excited that he started to whimper and expose his tummy. “Feivel! Have some self respect!”

The man stood up next to me. My stomach was fluttering again and I could not stop looking at his eyes.

“Hey, I have to apologize about…uh the way I kinda shut my door in your face.” He laughed.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“Mommy?” Casey had run up behind me and was partially hiding herself behind my leg while she stared at the man. “Mommy?”

“This is my daughter Casey.”

“Hello Casey.”

“Hello.”

“My name’s Stephen.” Casey stayed behind my leg.

“It’s ok honey. Tell him your name.”

“I’m Casey and this is my mom. Her name is Katherine.”

“Well…you’re a very pretty girl and it’s very nice to meet you.” I noticed that his eyes started to tear up while he was looking at my Casey. He wiped his eyes and shook his head. He was clearly embarrassed. “I’m sorry. She just… reminds me of my niece. We lost her a few years ago.”

We talked for a while that day. Every time he looked over at Casey, I swore that he was on the verge of tears.

-

It didn’t take very long at all; I was hooked. Feivel was hooked. Eventually, even Casey was hooked.

I tried to take it slow. I didn’t want to date anyone. I wasn’t over James and I knew it, but I just wanted to be around this man and I honestly could not explain what it was at the time. I always wanted him at the house, so he was there all the time. I loved it when he looked at me.

For the most part, he was great, but there were some things that were off. There were things I should have paid more attention to, but again, there was something about him that made me feel like I needed him.

He would kiss me with his eyes open every time, and even though the way he kissed me was great, something about it still gave me the creeps. I would crack my eyes open sometimes in the hopes that he had stopped doing it. Every time I saw those eyes staring back at me, I felt uneasy. I had only ever been with James, so I thought maybe some guys just did that, even though all of my friends thought it was weird too.

He also did things when he would come over that would raise the hairs on the back of my neck. Maybe that description is a little too harsh for what I was thinking at the time, but it fits now.

He would move things around the house. The toilet paper would be folded in that terrible triangle every time. James used to do that. He would also randomly adjust my coffee cups in the cabinet so the handles all faced the same way. Again, something my James used to do.

I had no idea what he did for a living, he told me he was in construction, but I had no idea who he worked for. He had never invited me over to his house, nor did he ever talk about his family.

My friends told me that I needed to relax and just enjoy myself. I admit, for the most part he seemed like the almost perfect guy. It was almost like he knew everything about me.

-

It was three months before he stayed overnight. I had Casey stay over at my mother’s house because it didn’t feel right to have her there.

We tried to be intimate, but I felt dirty. He said it was fine. He stayed anyway.

In the middle of the night I rolled over and cracked my eyes open. He was in the rocking chair in the corner. The moon was illuminating his eyes while he looked out the window. I thought I was dreaming for a minute.

“I know you’re awake…Katherine…Katherine?”

I didn’t say anything. I pretended to sleep. He turned his face to me and smiled. His eyes were so wide and bright.

“Katherine?”

I never went back to sleep that night. I just laid there for a while going back and forth from feeling like I was betraying my husband to feeling like I was an idiot who should just enjoy having a relationship with someone.

Around four in the morning, I had finally begun to drift off to sleep, but Stephen started making noises.

I rolled over and realized that his eyes were wide open. I was going to say something, but he was asleep. I waved my hand in front of his face to make sure.

He began to grunt and his body would shake every now and then. He was having a bad dream and his open eyes began darting back and forth.

“Get out of my head…” He whispered it twice. “Fuck you…out of my head…Mine now…”

It was too much to take. I quietly slid off of the bed and backed my way out of the room. Just as I made it to my door, his eyes moved and focused on me. He was still asleep, but it was like his eyes were watching me just the same.

I walked downstairs. He continued to talk in his sleep for over an hour. I was pretty sure right then that I had to break it off, or at least really slow down. I just didn’t feel right. And to be honest, I was a little creeped out.

-

I was drinking my coffee in the kitchen and thinking about what I was going to say when something caught my eye. Casey’s pictures of our family on the fridge looked different.I got up and took a closer look. James had been changed in every picture. He didn’t have short hair anymore, it was full and he was also wearing glasses. My heart skipped a beat and I felt a terrible lump in my throat. I wondered what this man had said to my daughter to convince her to remove her father from the pictures. I was done.

A few minutes later, he came downstairs in a rush. He was wearing a black Flogging Molly t-shirt. James’ favorite shirt.

“What are you doing?”

“Good morning! I forgot to turn on the alarm! I’m going to be late for work!”

“Stephen, why are you wearing that shirt?”

“I found it in your closet.”

“But why are you wearing it?”

“Well in case you forgot, I ripped the one I was wearing last night.”

“That’s my husband’s shirt.”

“Oh come on, he’s not going to be wearing it anytime soon. I gotta go, I’ll see you after work.” He leaned in for a kiss, but I backed away. “What’s the matter?”

“I don’t think this is going to work out.”

“What?”

“I think we need to take a break.”

“Over a t-shirt?”

“There’s…there’s a lot of things Stephen.”

“Are you being fucking serious with me right now?” His voice raised, something I had not yet experienced with him. Something in my head told me to back away from him, so I did. I backed right up against the counter within reach of my knives. It made me feel better.

“I think so.”

“But I don’t want to do that. Tell me what I did and I’ll fix it. I’ll take off the shirt. Katherine…please.” I looked right into his eyes. I thought maybe I was overreacting, but the pictures, messing with my daughter to erase her father, that was the breaking point.

“Please leave.”

The kindness in his face fell away to an ugliness that made me start to tremble. He noticed it. A smile slowly started to rise and it looked like he was going to take a step closer. I rested my hand on the counter behind me, inches from the knife block. He halted and stood still.

“Feivel!” My dog ran into the kitchen at the sound of my voice and looked back and forth between us. I could tell that he sensed the tension. Feivel walked over to my side and just looked back at Stephen without making a sound.

“Are you going to sick the dog on me? Are you crazy or something?”

“Stephen, I just want you to leave.”

“I thought I did everything right.” He let out a sigh. “I had all the answers. I know everything about you and I still can’t make it work. This cannot be my fault…it’s not…it’s your fault! Why are you doing this?!”

“Leave. Now.”

“Ok…I just…” He started laughing and looked down. He tapped my husband's shirt. “Well…shit… I tried to fuck Katherine, and all I got was this lousy tshirt…is that how this going to end?” He just stared at me. I wouldn’t answer him. “I don’t think so. You’re going to change your mind.” He turned and walked out of the door, slamming it behind him.

After he left, I locked all of the doors and called my mother. I told her what happened and not to take Casey to daycare. I told her that I would be able to pick her up in just a little bit. I called all my friends and let them know what happened. I basically wanted to hear other people tell me that Stephen was nuts and in the event that something happened to me, I wanted people to know where to look first.

I ripped all of Casey’s drawings off of the fridge and crumpled them up and threw them away.

I walked back upstairs to get dressed and I noticed other things.

I had only kept a few clothes that belonged to my husband and some of them were missing. I had a small jewelry box on the bathroom counter, and most of the rings and necklaces that James had given me were also missing. I walked through the house and began to notice random little things were missing here and there and the only thing they all had in common were that they were gifts given to me by James.

-

Before I picked up Casey at my mother’s, I called the police to see if anything could be done, even though I was pretty sure that I knew the answer. Other than being a creep and a thief, Stephen actually hadn’t done anything. There was nothing the police could do.

I took Casey to the park to explain to her why Stephen wouldn’t be around anymore. Feivel was sitting next to her in the backseat. I started by asking her about her drawings.

“I didn’t change them.”

“Casey, honey, I saw them this morning. They’re changed. You changed the way daddy looks.”

“But I didn’t mommy. I wouldn’t do that. Maybe Stephen did it.”

“You think Stephen took your crayons and changed your drawings?”

“Maybe. He thought he was going to be my new daddy anyway, so maybe he thought it was a good idea.”

“Wait. Who said he was going to be your new daddy?”

“He did. He said it lots.”

When we got to the park, I made sure Casey stayed right next to me. We started throwing the frisbee down by the river so Feivel could play in the water if he wanted. I asked her some more questions about Stephen and anything else he might have said to her. It didn’t sound like he had said much more.

We were about to leave when Casey started waving at something.

“Look Mommy, it’s Stephen!”

He was standing on the other side of the river, and he was waving back to us. He was wearing a button up shirt and a pair of jeans that both belonged to my husband. He was smiling at me.

“Mommy?”

“Yes?”

“Are you mad at Stephen or something?”

“Yes honey. I don’t think we’re going to be talking to Stephen anymore. I think he needs to go away.” I reached down and scooped up my daughter and began to walk back toward our car.

“We’re going home. Come on Feivel! Feivel?” My dog had been staring at Stephen and he still hadn’t moved. “Feivel, come!”

Stephen whistled and that was enough for Feivel. He jumped into the river and began swimming toward the other side. I called after him over and over, but he eventually made it to the other side and ran over to Stephen. He gave me one last wave before he reached down and clipped a leash onto Feivel’s collar. He turned around and started to walk away.

I ran back to the car and put Casey in her car seat as fast as I could and I drove to the parking lot on the other side of the river, but by the time I got there, he was gone with our dog.

-

I filled out a report with the police and tried to get a restraining order.

“Ok, so here’s the problem. You said his name was Stephen Tasavo?”

“That’s right.”

“Ok look. This is not going to make you feel any better, but this man doesn’t exist.”

“What?!”

“He gave you a false name, Miss. Couldn’t find anybody by that name fitting his description. You got him on social media anywhere? Does he have any friends?”

“I…I don’t know. I don’t have any of that crap. Social media I mean. I guess I just…never asked him about any of it. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few months.”

“Well, from the pictures you took on your phone, we know what he looks like. We’re going to keep an eye out for him, whoever he is. I suggest you keep your doors locked and inform the people at your daughter’s school. If there’s anywhere else you can go, I don’t think that would be a bad idea.”

I went home that night anyway. Casey was a mess after Stephen took Feivel and I thought that it would be a mistake if I didn’t give her some sense of normalcy. I had four friends stay with me that night.

-

A month later I got a call from a number that I didn’t recognize.

“Hello?”

“Don’t hang up the phone Katherine. Feivel really wants to hear your voice.”

“You sick fuck! Give me back my dog!” He was quiet for a moment.

“I've got you on speaker and you’re saying nasty things like that. He can hear everything you’re saying. Can’t you?! Can’t you?! Who’s a bugaboo doggie?! Who’s da doggie?!”

“Stephen…I’ll do whatever you want…please just give him back to me.”

“Come on Katherine. I know you know that’s not my name.”

“What is your name?”

“You know, I thought I had to become someone else to be with you. But I don’t think so. I’m going to like you getting to know the real me.”

“Please just give me my dog.”

“I’m going to make you see that it was destiny that your husband died. I’m going to make you see that his death was what it took to bring us together.”

“You son of a bitch!”

“Anyway, I’ll see you soon.” He hung up the phone.

I called the police, and after that night, I didn’t hear anything from Stephen for two months. Two months of looking over my shoulder. Two months of waiting.

I bought a gun. I kept it in the drawer of my bedside table. I wasn’t taking any chances.

-

I woke up with a start in the middle of the night and I heard the sound of muffled whining. I sat up in bed and looked around my bedroom before I grabbed the gun and got up. I walked to my window and noticed that it was slightly open. I looked down into the backyard.

Smoke was pouring out from underneath the closed lid on the grill. It looked like something was tied around the handles in order to keep it shut. I ran downstairs to the patio door. I opened it and held the gun in front of me. The smell of something burning was making me sick to my stomach. Something was crying out inside of the grill, frantically trying to get out. My heart sank as I realized that it was Feivel’s collar tied around the handle.

I screamed and grabbed the hose and turned it on. I lunged for the lid of the grill and I burned my hands as I tore away the collar from the handles.

I threw the top to the grill open and sprayed the hose inside. Feivel leapt out of the grill and down onto the brick patio. I soaked him with the hose. A belt had been tied around his muzzle. I ripped it off of his face and kept the water on him.

I turned to look back at the house. I didn’t want to leave him, but I realized that I had left my phone upstairs. I opened my mouth to scream for help, but then I had a hard time making any sound when I saw what was on the patio table. There was a bottle of whiskey on it with two glasses that had already been poured. There was a note on the table.

“It’s Friday Night! Time to BBQ!”

There was also something else on the table. A small fake rock. James and I had always kept it hidden amongst the other rocks in the backyard.It had a small compartment on the underside where we kept a spare key to our house. Stephen was in our house.

I looked back down to Feivel. I was left with the awful decision of having to leave my dog. He was gasping for air, but he was still alive. I had to get to Casey to make sure she was safe.

“Feivel, I’m sorry!” I left the hose laying across him and I ran back inside.

As I ran up the stairs, I saw that Casey’s door was closed and as I reached out for the knob, I heard a familiar noise coming from my room. The sound of a rocking chair. I cracked open Casey’s door and I could see that she was still asleep in her bed.

“Kaaaatheriiiiine…”

I closed the door and held the gun in front of me as I walked into my room.

The man I knew as Stephen was rocking in my husband's chair, wearing my husband’s clothes, and holding a house key that only myself and my husband knew about.

“I’ve missed you so much.” I raised the gun without saying a word. My hand was shaking. He was smiling and rocking back and forth. “You’re not going to shoot me.”

“Goodbye Stephen.” I pulled the trigger and nothing happened but a dry snap. I pulled the trigger again, but nothing happened.

“If you held that thing more often, you could probably tell that it’s just a little heavier when it has bullets in it.”

I lunged for my bedside table and pulled the drawer open. The small box of bullets was gone.

“I unloaded it while you were asleep.” He stood up. I ran for Casey’s door, but he caught me before I could open it. I felt his hand go over my mouth and he picked me up by my shoulders. I struggled as he carried me closer to the top of the stairs.

“I’ve watched you sleep for so many nights now, just wondering how I could get you back. But I think there might not be any saving of what we had.” He hit me across the face and threw me down the stairs.

I heard my ankles snap when I hit the floor, and I screamed. His footsteps were quiet as he started walking down the stairs.

“We could have had a life together. I really wanted that. I even put something on the grill, but then you went and ruined that too.”

“Mommy?!” Casey had run out of her bedroom and was at the top of the stairs looking down on us. Stephen was just a few steps away from me. I started to crawl along the floor toward the kitchen.

“Go back to your room Casey. You’re mother and I are fighting.”

“Casey! Get Mommy’s phone and call for help!” I screamed, as I pulled myself along the floor and into the kitchen. All I could think of was getting to the block of knives.

“Where do you think you're going off to? Wait, I know…”

Stephen ran around me and to the kitchen counter. He picked up the block of knives and spilled them on the floor. “Come and get ‘em Katherine.”

He walked back over and stood over me while I crawled toward the knives. He was laughing.

“To think, if someone hadn’t killed your husband, none of this would have happened.”

I tried to shut his voice out of my head as I crawled forward. I was getting closer.

“You know the person who hit him did actually stop for a moment…just a moment…he opened his car door and almost ran over to help, but then something stopped him. Did you know that?”

He’s lying Kathering. Keep moving.

“I was there. If I close my eyes, I can still see the whole thing. If that guy had helped instead of just driving away, maybe James would have survived and what I’ve had with you and Casey… all that would never have been.”

I was right in front of the pile of knives. I reached out and then he stomped on my hand. I felt bones break. He leaned down, grabbed me, and turned me over to look at him. He was crying.

“I still think it was destiny that brought us together, but I was wrong about you. You don’t have any place in our family. Me and Casey. I’m going to take her far away from here. She’s mine now.” Tears were pouring out of his eyes and he was trying to blink them away, but the tears wouldn’t stop.

“Son of a bitch! Stop it! Stop it!” He rubbed at his eyes with one hand. “She’s mine now!”

I brought my knee up as hard as I could between his legs and he dropped me to the floor. He fell to his knees right next to me. I could hear sirens outside.

I reached out and grabbed the largest knife. I raised it over my head, but before I could swing it down, he grabbed my wrist and started to squeeze. I felt my grip start to loosen and I was afraid that I was going to drop the knife. He started to laugh as the sirens were getting closer.

“Looks like it’s time we get things over with.”

I felt his body slam against mine, and at first I had no idea what had happened, but then Stephen began to scream and I could hear Feivel growling behind him.

Feivel had managed to fit his jaws around the back of Stephen’s neck and buried his teeth to the gums. He was pulling Stephen away from me; blood poured down either side of his throat.

I tightened my grip on the knife and I pushed it into Stephen’s stomach over and over and over again. Feivel eventually let go of Stephen, and as I continued to plunge the knife into the mushy mess I had made, my dog limped over and started to whimper.

As Stephen lay there gasping for breath, I stared at his eyes. They were staring back at me and he was no longer weeping. I felt crazy, but his eyes looked kind. They looked happy.

-

“How are you feeling now?” I remember the detective had this perfect voice. A Paul Winfield voice. Had the things he was about to tell me weren’t so terrible, I would probably only remember how beautiful that voice was.

“I can’t walk, but they’ve got me so drugged up that I don’t mind very much. I’m going to be able to go home tomorrow. Or…to my mother’s at least.”

“How’s your daughter doing?”

“She’s good. She’s staying with my mother.”

“I hear that hero dog is going to pull through.”

I smiled. Tears started coming up thinking of Feivel sitting somewhere without me while he was going through all this.

“He’s not going to be a hundred percent, but he’s going to have a good life. He deserves it.”

“Ok. Now for the unpleasant stuff. We finally got some answers on who this guy is. Was, excuse me. His name is Joshua Linder. He’s been keeping a small apartment only a mile away from your house for the last three years. It looks like he’s been watching you the whole time. All kinds of things all over his apartment.”

“Did he kill James?”

“No. He couldn't have. Up until three years ago he lived across the country from you. Even then, there was no way he was driving the car that killed your husband. He was legally blind.”

“What?”

“Not completely blind, but may as well have been. That is his connection to you, and to your late husband I’m afraid.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You said he knew things he shouldn’t have right?”

“Yes.”

“Where the spare key was, um… certain things you shared with your late husband, correct?”

“That’s right.”

“Katherine, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it. You are aware that your husband was an organ donor, were you not?”

“Yeah.”

“It seems that uh… Mr. Linder was the recipient of your husband’s corneas after your husband passed. Now how he found out about you, we have no idea. There’s some kind of phenomenon that’s called cellular memory that frankly I think is…”

He kept talking, but the only thing on my mind were Stephen’s eyes.

-

My little family of three moved far away from home. We now have a house next to my husband’s parents where Casey can get to know her father’s parents and Feivel can go on walks with me while I pull him in his wagon when he gets too tired. I try not to think too much of what happened, but I still have trouble sleeping.

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MoonLightStorm001 t1_je2qes9 wrote

Is cellular memory a real thing?

271

therealdocturner OP t1_je2qk2r wrote

It's a theory to some. Nightmare for others.

284

MoonLightStorm001 t1_je2qxsx wrote

What is it? Ive never heard of it before now,

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therealdocturner OP t1_je2rb6k wrote

Some transplant recipients experience changes in personality, proclivities, and some even experience dreams and memories of the individuals that they received a transplant from. It's terrifying to think about.

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MrsBobFossil t1_je4oyt9 wrote

My co-worker Sandy died of a stroke at 40 and three different people received transplants from her. Her family wanted to meet them and had a picnic a year or so after she died. One of the recipients said that she kept having a thought saying, “Sandy is okay.” This was before the family reached out to her and she knew Sandy’s name. I would have never believed such a thing if I didn’t know this family and hear it directly from them.

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thatsnotexactlyme t1_je7hn37 wrote

right but she might’ve been told the name from someone at the hospital. but yeah that’s wack

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MrsBobFossil t1_je7lfs9 wrote

Totally true. They insist that wasn’t the case a d everyone was pretty moved by it, but I have no way of knowing.

8

Meghan493 t1_je43vm5 wrote

The part with the grill made me feel physically sick. I would’ve buried him alive for that, but I guess a knife to the gut a few hundred times will do in a hurry.

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Original_Jilliman t1_je50fk3 wrote

Ugh same! I have trouble reading anything with the animal abuse tag but this one drew me in. So glad the dog lived!

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HoloceneHorrors t1_je2oict wrote

We don't deserve dogs. Please give Feivel a hug and some scritches for me!

I looked up his name and realized it was from the disney movie. I can't imagine a mouse that big but he sounds adorable! Have you done one of those DNA breed tests? I'd love to know what kind of mutt he is =)

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therealdocturner OP t1_je2ouum wrote

He's definitely part lab and part... Weird. An American Tail was one of our favorite movies when we were kids, so yes, that's why we named him that.

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bbabix0 t1_je8l526 wrote

That was my favorite movie also the second your husband said his name i screamed the title.... And your strength inspires I'm so sorry about your husband I really am but I wanted to know did they find your jewelry at his apartment the ones from your husband

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therealdocturner OP t1_je8lf57 wrote

No they didn't find any of my things. I'm sure he just threw them away. He did have Casey's drawings on his fridge though. He must've fished them out of my garbage can.

7

TallStarsMuse t1_je3j9ij wrote

Not a rousing recommendation for organ transplant…

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therealdocturner OP t1_je3jm6p wrote

Mine is an isolated case. I'm not discouraging the procedure, I'm encouraging other people to watch out for signs that you might be dating a psychopath.

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Shadowwolfmoon13 t1_je3m4oy wrote

Better give Feivel a forever happy home after what he did! Joshua didn't bank on Feivel choosing you and protecting you. Dogs are wonderful beings. Too bad you couldn't put that loser on the grill like he did the poor pooch. Enjoy your new life!

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You-Mad-Broo t1_je3jgb0 wrote

Holy shit, this is so crazy.

How is Feivel and your daughter doing?

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therealdocturner OP t1_je3jufp wrote

Casey is doing great in school. Feivel is enjoying his golden years. Thanks for asking and for reading.

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IAmAn_Anne t1_je3uz4i wrote

The heartlessness required to do that to poor Feivel. He’s the goodest boy. Shocked he survived, but very glad.

29

Walayla33 t1_je3zi3h wrote

Good puppers... Good daughter.. she obviously listened to momma and called 911

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stonedoblivion t1_je3jjdd wrote

What the actual fuck.......glad you guys are safe now. Fievel deserves all the treats n pets, he is best boy

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AzelfWillpower t1_je83163 wrote

I'm not gonna lie, throughout this entire thing I 100% expected James to be possessing some random guy and holding his body hostage.

15

Mercerskye t1_je3wpel wrote

I feel bad for all of you. Joshua the least, but still. Fella got the worst kinda good luck. I'm sorry that his boon turned him into a monster, and very sorry that monster turned y'all's life inside out.

Hopefully there's nothing left but peace and recovery for you now

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aqua_sparkle_dazzle t1_je863sn wrote

Meh. I think the transplant just helped him actualize what he actually is but couldn't accomplish prior because of his blindness.

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Mercerskye t1_je87b7t wrote

That's a fair take, and we'll never know for sure. I just know I'd likely go a little batty myself if I suddenly had "someone else" inside my head.

1

Physical_Bat_309 t1_je4n6em wrote

hmm i wonder how many other people were doners? maybe your husband is actually “possessing” them through that

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therealdocturner OP t1_je56h7y wrote

He wasn't possessing Stephen. Stephen took advantage of my husband's memories. I think that the small part of my husband that was in him was trying to stop him. I think that's why Stephen's eyes wept when he was trying to kill me. I think part of my husband was in his head constantly trying to take over. As I look back on it now, I think I was staring into my husband's eyes while Stephen was dying on the floor. And as weird as it sounds, I think that's why Stephen was crying when he first saw Casey. I think that small piece of my husband got to see his little girl for the first time.

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Satyinepu t1_je4ra92 wrote

Feivel is such a good boy, I'm glad you guys are okay, that's horrifying

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Reya05 t1_je47ftv wrote

I thought it was possession, but glad it ended with you being safe.

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LCyfer t1_je6048a wrote

I almost didn't read this because of the animal abuse disclaimer, (I just can't handle it, dogs are my life), but I'm really glad I did, the title sucked me in. Feivel is the bestest boy, dogs are such amazing creatures! Organ memory retention is the weirdest thing. Honestly though, if someone kissed me with their eyes open all the time I'd get the ick and get out of there for sure.

7

lost_library_book t1_je73317 wrote

Horrible. So glad you all made it, though. James picked a good boy.

Just hope that Joshua wasn't an organ doner.

7

ImThatMelanin t1_je7exmx wrote

fuck yea go fievel and james! (def believe james was trying to stop him, that’s why he kept telling him to get out of his head)

5

Jrlopez1027 t1_je4piva wrote

Yet another common Fievel W

4

FondleMyPancakes t1_je7rozz wrote

I'm curious... do you know if rocking chairs helps with anxiety? I've lived with anxiety my entire life and always have found rocking chairs calming.

Quite the brutal experience, and I'm sorry to hear you had to go through all of that.

Back when I was with my ex, I would kiss her with my eyes open sometimes. I wanted to look into her eyes as I did it. I've always been able to read a person a bit by their eyes, and anytime I saw her eyes open with mine, I felt the love she had for me as well. Eyes are often described as windows to the soul after all.

What I find incredibly odd is how the detective brought up the cellular memory. More often than not, people of the law don't talk about things that are unnatural. I could see them mentioning the connection of the transplant of your husband to him, but normally, they don't mention anything like non natural situations. It makes me wonder if they've dealt with cases like yours before.

I think the reason Feivel always trusted Joshua is because of the eyes. He recognized James' eyes and parts of his personality.

Despite this wild situation, I truly believe James was watching over you. And I don't mean that as a pun because Joshua had his eyes. I think James was partly there with that cellular memory combined with his soul. James just wasn't strong enough to take hold or control of him, unfortunately, so all he could do was watch. Still, he was strong enough to hold on and see your daughter, I think that shows how much the 3 of you meant to him. You picked the right man to marry, and I'm sorry for your loss.

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Spacellama117 t1_je3xgcz wrote

Whole different meaning to that Bruno Mars song.

Glad you guys are okay, though!

3

Abdasie t1_je51q6q wrote

I was sure that James was, in fact, a cat and Stephen would be his reincarnation in the sense that cats have seven lives. It just fits so well

3

RagicalUnicorn t1_je62f1e wrote

Wow that Stephen sure did have an eyes for details.

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Dblockgood t1_je6fn63 wrote

Wow this is crazy, I'm so glad you and the family survived this. I'm starting to side eye my organ donor status 👀

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TurdlordPrime t1_jedopxd wrote

I have a left corneal transplant due to keratoconus. Ever since I got it my wife has noticed me waking up in the night with a yelp or a like a wailing sound. I never remember if I was dreaming or not, but I wake up with this terrible feeling that something is really, really wrong.

I know nothing about the donor of my cornea, but this story definitely got me thinking 🫤

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mrs-chapa t1_je5g4a8 wrote

Best wishes to all three of you for a happy and peaceful life!

2