Submitted by girl_from_the_crypt t3_yhrche in nosleep

Hi there! Who are you? Doesn't matter, really, I'm fucking starved for conversation. Come right in! You're here for the house, I reckon. I gotta break it to you, I'm not the real estate agent. And you're kind of late, I mean look, it's nighttime already.

You want the tour from me especially? That's an odd request but… okay. I can try, I guess.

You can put your coat wherever. You want a drink? Or a snack maybe? No? Okay, well, if you change your mind… Actually it doesn't matter, the fridge is empty anyways.

So, this here's a nice enough place. It's cheaper than it's ever been before so you really oughta buy it now. You should already know the basics—we have two upper floors, one kitchen and two bathrooms.

Do I come with the inventory? Stop it, you… Well, you're not so bad yourself.

Oh. You weren't flirting, were you? Well, that's awkward. I'm… so sorry.

To answer your question, I guess I do. I hope you're not disappointed now.

Ah, it's a long story, but I'll try to be quick if you really wanna know.

My parents kept on pressuring me to buy a house. They were all like, "You're thirty-five, you gotta settle down." And I'd finally found a partner for, like, the long run, so at least I wouldn't have to do it alone. So we got this place. I took on extra shifts because the purchase had drained us, but even so, things were looking sort of dire. At one point, I had to ask my mom to help us out, but she wouldn't. She said that anyone could pay for a home, her and Dad could, too, back when they were young! And we had better jobs than they did, so she told me I was simply bad with money. God, that was so embarrassing.

I started looking for a job with better pay, or at least something to earn a little extra on the side, but nothing good ever came up. There was this fast food chain where I'd work on a few Sundays though, but I didn't last long. It was a crappy job in itself, and on top of that, the manager really hated me. I couldn't have carried on there for the life of me.

My fiancé's an intensive care nurse, so he's always under a lot of pressure. I was the chill one in the relationship, you know. I was usually there to calm him down and just… provide a good atmosphere, basically. And now that I was just as stressed as him, it kind of started to click for the both of us that things weren't working out anymore. But now that we'd invested so much money into this place, our dream house, we felt like we had to keep soldiering on, I guess.

We started fighting a lot. At first, it was just these little arguments, but they kept escalating until we'd literally throw stuff at each other on a regular basis.

And then it all came to a head a couple months ago. We'd just found out I was pregnant a week prior, but I was obviously gonna keep on working for as long as I could. It really didn't fit into our schedule at all and neither of us wanted the baby—we knew we wouldn't be able to offer it a comfortable life anytime soon. But abortions are damned hard to get around here, so we were in a whole new load of trouble because of that. Anyways, I came home and my fiancé was already there. He'd apparently managed to fall down the stairs at the clinic, sprained his ankle something fierce and had to take a sick leave. Well… I don't know why, or if that's even legal for his boss to do, but it wouldn't be paid. Now, I know I should never have done that, but I totally blew up at him. Like it was all somehow his fault. Maybe it was hormones, maybe I was just being an asshole, I don't know.

So fiancé gets up, and he hobbles over to the cabinet, and before I even realize what's going on, he's already whipped out his handgun and bang. That was that. That's how I got here, and that's why the house is up for sale.

There. I hope I could offer sufficient entertainment. Care to see the garden? I can show you the spot where he buried me. Should be a shovel around there somewhere still, too… You wanna go dig me up?

Oh no, I'm just kidding. The cops already did that. My fiancé didn't finish the job either. He got so sad halfway through he had to stop.

In case you wanna meet him, too, he's up in the attic. That's where he hanged himself.

That reminds me, did I even mention our spacious attic to you? Lots of storage room. You could also turn it into a guest room or maybe a little arts studio if you're crafty…

X

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internetversionofme t1_iufjtzv wrote

I'm in the middle of looking for a rental and am definitely interested. Storage space, a garden, a quiet roommate- what's your policy on pets? I'd be happy to set up a little offering station in the kitchen so that we can share meals together. Do you like roosters or do you lean more cannibalistic? I'd be happy to do some smoke cleansing in the attic, you shouldn't have to hold onto baggage from past relationships. We can turn it into a nice craft space instead, perhaps a guest bedroom?

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girl_from_the_crypt OP t1_iufm0w3 wrote

That sounds great! I'd love for you to clear out the attic tbh. My diet's all over the place, I'll eat whatever lol. But I don't, like, need anything in particular. But I'd rather prefer if you didn't keep firearms around.

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MurseWoods t1_iuh8pg9 wrote

My fiancé and I are both nurses and are in the market for a new place. We don’t mind, ahem, cleaning out the attic as she works in hospice and is kinda used to that whole scene.

Or would the fact that we’re nurses, like your partner, be a little too soon for you to be around. But the bonus is that we don’t have any firearms!

Anywho… you just let me know and maybe we could stop by for a tour for ourselves.

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sweetaznsugar t1_iufotf3 wrote

DO you come with the house? I'd love to have company sometimes and we can swap stories. I do have a dog tho, I hope that's okay. She's pretty sweet but we've never met someone like you.... I'm sure my dog would warm up to you. She's a huge attention hog.

I have a friend who's a bit of a medium. I'm not sure if she is serious but I could bring her around and she'd help us clean out the attic and get rid of any negative energies here. No, not you of course! With the attic cleaned up, we could turn it into a crafting area or library. Or even decorate the space just for you!

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girl_from_the_crypt OP t1_iufptzx wrote

Oh my, another applicant??? That sounds really fun, I love dogs! And I reckon I do come with the house. I think I want to stick around anyways to see it being turned into an actual home like we wanted.

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sweetaznsugar t1_iuftjea wrote

Yesss! I could use your help too, I'm not confident about my interior decorating skills

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producerofconfusion t1_iufzo2m wrote

Hm. If I move in with my husband will you try to watch us in the bedroom?

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Rangermatthias t1_iug5in8 wrote

Might be a sore subject, but...what about the baby? Is there gonna be a lot of ghostly wailing? Or are you gonna be preggers forever?

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Orange__Moon t1_iughl9j wrote

I'll take you but we need to exorcise your fiance. I not a fan of men at the best of times(despite being "happily" married for 20 years, hahaha) but I REALLY hate ones like yours. We gotta send him to hell girl. Too bad I couldn't help you before hand. I know how to get abortion pills safely and cheaply from abroad. You might still be alive if we had met earlier.

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girl_from_the_crypt OP t1_iuhhu0b wrote

Aw well, I don't wanna paint him in too bad a light. He used to be quite the charmer. And we were both under a load of stress in the end there... Maybe I pushed him over the edge. Too bad about the pills, though, you're right. Wish things had gone differently on so many fronts.

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Orange__Moon t1_iuhwlgw wrote

Well maybe we could put him to good use by sending him out to haunt men planning to kill their wives or something. Kinda like a social worker! Like those guys in Beetlejuice that had to become public servants because they commited suicide.

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girl_from_the_crypt OP t1_iuhxv0b wrote

Well I don't like to think he planned on killing me. It was an outburst, I believe. Or at least I hope so. Not making excuses of course, he was so out of line when he did that...

Anyways, I see what you mean! Even if he's not up for it, that's a position that definitely ought to be filled by somebody. We could do some good here yet :)

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Redditributor t1_iugv55j wrote

Tbh I'd probably exorcise the whole lot

Neither member of this couple sound like keepers.

They both seem a bit too willing to engage in domestic violence.

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shifty_mcG33 t1_iuggayq wrote

If I ignore your husband when I go to the attic would it freak him out? Make him think no one can see him for the first couple of months. 😄

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spookymom_26 t1_iufzzvl wrote

Where can I apply? I have two boys though. Does your Husband usually wonder out of the attic?

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FloridaHobbit t1_iugj54d wrote

A perfect open house for the Halloween season

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blackbutterfree t1_iuj4h9j wrote

Y'know, for a brutally murdered dead chick, you sure are chipper lol

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Spielburger_witFries t1_iugox30 wrote

Aside from the rocky end there, you two sound lovely. Maybe go your separate ways, but I wouldn’t mind having you guys as roommates!

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girl_from_the_crypt OP t1_iuhy00v wrote

Aww, that's real sweet of you to say! Yeah, I actually consider myself to be quite lovely when there's no crippling debt looking over my head

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randauum t1_iuhxxox wrote

What a lovely ghost

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shroedingersdog t1_iugztrp wrote

I'll take this and you... I just sold my old inherited property for a lil over 3 million. Nothing can overshadow what my family has left me with. You seem very cozy indeed.

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ASpookyDog t1_iuj6ked wrote

I'm interested in looking at the house. Can you do that thing from Beetlejuice where you manifest music out of nowhere and levitate me while I dance to it? Always wanted to try that, but never seem to get straight answers from ghosts when I bring it up.

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EducationalSmile8 t1_iuhekoi wrote

Uh oh I would actually like to stay away from your house Ma'am

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Conohoa t1_iuhnrrp wrote

You know you're poor when this actually sounds like a good deal

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poison_snacc t1_iuja6du wrote

I mean if I had any money at all I’d love a ghost for a roomate. Being a disabled millennial I got hit hard with both hammers, so I have no way to fund it, but maybe if I managed to die on the property? Is there a ritual we could do to get rid of your ex, tho? Im not sure how I feel to waking up to a gun in my face at 3am every night, even if it is a ghost gun.

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