Every year since it began, I’ve tried, and every year I’ve failed. Normally a few hours of the clock shifting over to November is as far as I’d get for me to violate this sacred vow. This year I was determined, but this year I can confidently say it’s not my fault I failed.

I’ve been in a bit of a health freak stage for the majority of this last year. When the Rona first ravaged the lands I was laid off, got lazy, gained some pounds and really just let myself get too comfortable. Earlier this year I decided to try and get healthy- or at least healthier for what is probably the first time in my life. I cooked myself meals, got a gym membership and generally tried to be more responsible with everything in my life.

At some point I fell down the YouTube rabbit hole of health influencers and this off course eventually led me to the sperm retention community. There’s probably a more appropriate name than that for them now that I think about it, but it’s not the point anyways. All of this is mainly trying to say that one major problem I identified in my life is my lack of commitment. To lots of people, I’m sure NNN is just a silly meme, but for me, I wanted to prove to myself that I could commit to a cause and actually see it through.

During this last year I’ve started hiking a lot, and spending time out in nature to try and avoid the endless negative temptations associated with screens. I’ve gone on countless trails all throughout my state and discovered some really cool locations. Overall, it’s been a fantastic change in my life, but after what happened a few days ago I can’t say it’s been all sunshine and rainbows.

I was out on a new trail that day in a spot in the mountains of Colorado. I don’t want to give the exact location but if you’re anywhere near that area then just watch yourself. This particular trail led deep into the woods and was mapped at nearly 50 miles.

It was just past 7AM when I began my hike. The wind was chilled from a brisk autumn morning, but the forecast called for it to warm up significantly in the following hours. I packed light, carrying only my backpack with me which had some water, a few snacks and emergency gear. I only planned on being out there for around half the day so I didn’t bother packing overnight supplies.

The trail branched out from the initial parking spot into two separate paths. The trailway was essentially one giant loop which was almost 16 miles in circumference. The plan was basically to just go until I wore myself out, and so that’s what I did.

I passed several other hikers on my way out, but once I hit the trail I was pretty much alone. Birds chirped happily around me and the smell of nature infused my nostrils with every step further from civilization.

After walking for about an hour I paused at a small clearing for a brief reprieve and water break. The natural cadence had since fallen quiet around me, and the sun had risen high in the sky. Rays of sunlight beamed through the trees, bringing a sense of comfort and small relief from the chilly autumn breeze.

It was then as I sat to catch my breath that I saw something further in the woods. On one of the trees, I saw what I can only determine looked like an odd aberration in the trunk. As I got closer to it, I realized it was actually a carving in the bark. Looked like someone took a large hunting knife and carved this odd symbol into it. I couldn’t identify what it was because I’ve never seen anything like it.

It kind of pissed me off at first if I’m honest. Carving into trees like that can damage and sometimes outright kill them. I’m not some radical environmentalist or anything but I guess it just irks me when someone intentionally damages parts of nature for no real reason.

The symbol itself looked almost like a rune of some sort. That made me a bit nervous, but I figured it was just some dumb teenager’s attempt to be edgy. I was about to return to the trail, when I saw another one.

The second one was different then the first, but clearly in similar font and origin. It was about 20 feet further from the first one. As I got near it, I spied a 3rd one further down, and what looked like a 4th even beyond that. I don’t know what came over me then, but the anger I felt outweighed any sense of apprehension. I should’ve been much more unnerved by the findings then I was, and looking back, it’s clear I made a mistake in that. I’m lucky to still be here at all, really.

I counted at least 9 trees with carvings in them, and snapped pictures of them all on my phone for evidence. It was my hope that I’d find the vandal responsible and maybe talk some sense it to them. Like I said, the entire thing was pretty dumb on my end and I’ll be the first to admit that, but I just couldn’t let it go.

The last carved tree was at the edge of this sheer cliff which dropped off about 40 feet into a small valley below. It gave a great view of the surrounding scenery, but I didn’t have much time to admire it. On the ground there was what I first thought to be a pile of leaves and sticks, but on closer inspection it was clear it was something very different. The sticks were arranged in a clear formation on the ground, and the leaves sprawled beneath them in what almost appeared like an artificial nest or hallowed ground.

After that discovery the alarm bells started ringing in my head, and I decided to abandon my little detour and head back to the trail. As I began to walk, something then scuttled in the woods to my right. I froze mid-stride, but didn’t hear or see anything else there. Time seemed to stand still as I stared motionless back at the daunting line of trees. A gust then rustled the bushes, and although it tempted me to write off the whole incident as a result of the wind, I knew that wasn’t the case.

Something suddenly just felt off.

I picked up my pace, but suddenly felt a stinging pain in my side. After reaching for it my hand brushed over a small object jabbing into my ribs. Trickles of blood rolled down my side as I pulled what appeared to be a small dart out from my skin.

A sudden surge of fear bellowed through my veins, but was almost immediately overcome by a blurred delirium. The world around me began to spin as light and shadow mixed into a nonsensical haze. I tried to run but my legs became jello beneath me, and arms trembled like leaves in the wind.

I was on the ground before I could even process what was really happening to me. The trees looked more like a stormy ocean by then, and I felt as if I could sense the earth rotating around me. Silhouettes then emerged in the distance, but before they got near my consciousness faded entirely.

*drip* *drip* *drip*

The sensation of liquid dripping on my forehead awoke me from oblivion. A splitting headache and clouded sensation overtook me. My eyes prying open felt like opening concrete doors, and once they were I found mostly darkness around me. The scent of dirt and copper filled my nose and I found my hands and legs were bound tightly by frayed rope. My mouth too was gagged making me unable to speak or call out for help.

On the walls I saw little lights flickering, and as my vision cleared, I realized they were candles mounted on the wall. My vision further returned and I found myself in an odd, apparently underground structure. The walls looked like they were covered with branches and dirt, and it made me wonder whether the entire structure was made from it.

Another drip struck my face and I flinched aside. The liquid was sticky, and smelled almost metallic which made me realize something horrible. As I averted my gaze upward, I felt my heart plummet as my suspicion was confirmed. It wasn’t water dripping on me.

There dangling from the ceiling by string were dozens of dead animals; small ones mostly. Squirrels, rabbits and birds dangled from yarn on the ceiling in a horrifying collage of mutilated creatures. I scrambled away towards the nearest wall and the grizzly scene reaffirmed in my mind. What the hell was this? And where the hell was I?

I still don’t know the answer, but I soon found the only worse think than waking up alone in a dark, unknown place filled with dead animals, was not being alone after all. The sound of something crashing echoed from down the corridor. The area beyond my chamber was very dark, and the small candles only illuminated a small section. The sounds of footsteps then began approaching, and I pressed my back into the wall as my heart began to race.

Several forms then emerged from the darkness. Faces of animals stood atop their humanoid forms which were concealed by solid black robes. There was a goat, an owl, a serpent, a mantis and an ox. The faces were masks which appeared carved from wood and painted with splotches of red and white. Their eyes were solid black pits which revealed nothing beneath.

They all slowly surrounded me in the room as I cowered and begged behind my gag. The ox mask then dragged a wooden board from beyond the room and laid it at my feet. All four of the others then moved towards me, grabbing my arms and legs and hoisting me onto the board as I continued to cry and mumble unheard pleas.

The mantis then withdrew a blade and pressed it against my throat. I stopped my struggle immediately, as the others unbound my arms and legs, only for them to rebind them to the plank of wood. It had these shackles anchored on the edge of the board, and they bound me with arms and legs spread open.

Once I was secured, the ox, mantis, goat and serpent each grabbed a corner of the board and hoisted me up. The mantis then led the way as they carried me down the corridor and reached a door moments later. The cat opened it, revealing the open air of the woods beyond. The chilly air gnawed at my skin as they carried me out, and the harsh darkness made the surrounding woods sneer and cackle with devious intent.

In the distance I spied 3 other individuals standing by the edge of the cliff. As we got near, I realized the area was the same I’d seen previously before apparently getting tranquilized. The four masked people carried me to the edge of the hallowed ground and laid me down.

The three others there also wore masks, this time in the likeness of a rabbit, a jackal and a deer. The deer one in particular had large antlers attached and an ornate robe with red runes. It stood between the other two which made me think he or she was their leader.

A cold wind rustled through the trees chilling me to the bone. The entire area was eerily silent aside from the occasional gust. Overhead I spied the moon tinted an eerie blood-red looming ominously in an otherwise vacant sky.

By this point the fear had overtaken me entirely, and I realized I was probably dealing with some sort of cult which planned on sacrificing me. That was what all the evidence seemed to suggest, and I was entirely helpless to stop it. With my mouth gagged I couldn’t even bargain or beg them, and a wave of hopeless despair rolled through me.

The thoughts of my friends and family overcame me, all the memories I had and the experiences we shared. As much as I could I felt no option other than to accept my looming death. Tears stung my eyes as I wept for all the things I’d never get to do, and all the people I would never see again.

The masked individuals lit torches around me, which illuminated the vicinity and brought a mild warmth to my shivering body. They encircled me like sharks, glaring down as the rabbit and jackal approached me. These two were smaller than the others which led me to assume they were both women while the others were men.

The two of them knelt on either side of me as a third approached me from behind. Once again, I felt the blade press against my throat, and I tensed up as I felt it’s cold, sharp sting. The rabbit then undid the gag on my mouth, and I coughed as she pulled it away.

“Please… please don’t do this I…” I ceased my groveling as the knife pressed harder against my throat. All I could do then was silently cry as the rabbit and jackal mixed together some sort of liquid in a bowl. They used a mortar and pestle to grind up some substance within it. A few moments later they hovered near me.

“Please no…” The blade then pressed harder into my gullet, and I could feel the skin begin to split. The jackal then prodded me to open my jaw, and once I did the rabbit dumped the vile concoction into my mouth.

The taste was indescribably wretched, like putrid fish mixed with ground-up chalk. The rabbit held my mouth shut, and the jackal massaged my neck to sway me to swallow. After fighting the urge to vomit I finally felt the vile paste descend my throat.

The rabbit then removed her hands as the serpent removed his blade from my neck. I gasped for breath and gagged, feeling the bile rise in my throat. They all glared at me with hollow, empty eyes and a complete lack of sympathy. After allowing me a few moments to catch my breath, the jackal put the gag back on my mouth, much to my ignored protest.

I then spied the others setting the hallowed ground symbol aflame. Sparks rose along the dry sticks, and in just a few moments it kindled into an impressive flame. Two other members then reemerged with a large wooden crate which they sat beside the warming fire.

I could feel the grotesque paste working it’s way through my body. I felt woozy, and lethargic as though I’d just been slipped a handful of painkillers. The sense of terror I had seemed to lessen, and although still afraid the calming sensation spread rapidly through my veins. It would’ve been an almost divine sense of ecstasy, as despite the horrendous taste and consistency the high I began to experience was exquisite.

Then it got really weird.

I felt a distinct sensation on the lower half of my body, one which only guys can relate to. There’s no real way to wrap this in sophistry or colorful language to make it sound any less hilarious and bizarre than it will, so I’ll just come out and say it. I felt myself growing hard, like really hard in the exact way that you are imagining it. Needless to say, it was neither appropriate time nor scenario for that to happen, and made me more confused than anything else.

The masked congregation then began to chant, which is never a sound you want to hear normally, but especially not in my predicament. It sounded like they were speaking Latin, but that could just be how my mind interpreted it. The flames on the fire seemed to dance and sway as my mind stewed in a forced euphoria.

Suddenly the large crate shook. My eyes sprung wide as I stared at it while more sound emerged form within. Banging, striking and low snarling. The group continued to chant as whatever was inside the crate began to grow livelier and more vociferous.

The jackal then knelt beside me once more, undoing my belt and pants as she pulled down my jeans. My panic then arose in my mind but with my delirious state I could do nothing but mutter unheard words. The forest around me seemed to swirl and distend, and I could’ve sworn I saw other faces of wretched creatures leered gleefully down upon me. In the sky above the blood-red moon seemed to have grown tenfold in scale, seeming almost like the iris of a massive cosmic eye in the night sky.

The crate door then burst, and a hand reached through the frame. Long, pointed fingernails extended from a human arm. It tore at the frame of the box, ripping the wood to shreds as it’s real form began to emerge from within. I stared horrified as the monstrous thing crawled from within the box. The deer; who by then I assumed was their leader then locked eyes with me, and I heard him declare the name which sent waves of dread to through my very soul.

“Lilith.”

The thing then emerged from the boxen, standing on it’s haunches and glaring down upon me with an unnatural heat. It’s skin was dark grey, like the color of wet concrete. It’s form was slender, but plump in ways that would’ve normally been deemed as alluring. It’s legs were bent backwards, like that of a hawks with talons in place of toes.

The worst, but paradoxically most enticing was it’s face which stood atop a long, slender neck. It appeared as mostly human in shape, but one would be a fool for thinking that’s what it was. The eyes were glazed obsidian, mixed with dust pigments in a multitude of colors that shimmered like a cosmic tapestry. Multiple odd protrusions sprouted from the crown of her skull, appearing like horns twisting in varied directions.

She crawled towards on hands and feet, moving more like an animal than a human would. Suddenly I realized what was about to happen, but I was entirely powerless to stop it. All in the congregation stared down upon me as the creature crawled into a straddled position over my lap. It’s eyes seemed to resonate with a sordid ethereal presence far beyond that of human being.

There was nothing I could do as it slid itself into position and mounted on top of my waist. It slid up and down as every sense of autonomy and power was ripped from my body and soul. The thing groaned and muttered unheard things, sounding almost like a voice at times but mostly like a beast.

The sensation was grotesque, and the sound it made even more so. Like a pool of maggots slithering in and out of rancid corpse. It felt like the act alone was tearing my soul into ribbons, but try as I have, there was a horrendous, but undeniable sense of pleasure. A sickening lust akin to that of watching a hated enemy’s house burn to the ground. You know it’s cruel, but you can’t fucking deny the satisfaction. It was like I wasn’t capable of feeling anything else, like I wasn’t even a person anymore. I had become an object; a means to an end for whatever twisted objective the madmen that assisted this abomination envisioned.

The act concluded within minutes as my November trial was failed, and a sickening snarl of grotesque satisfaction emanated from the things throat. It then met my eye again, and lowered it’s head to mine as it’s jagged claws raked against my side. It’s jaw split wide- much wider than any human’s could.

Out of it’s maw emerged a long, black tongue like a massive leech writhing. It slithered up my chest and towards my mouth, prying under my gag and into my mouth despite my attempts to keep it shut. I felt it slide down my throat, causing me to gag and struggle against it. The thought crossed my mind of biting down on it as hard as I could, but I knew if I did that then the thing would’ve just torn me limb from limb.

In just a few seconds it retracted back from whence it came. The thing stared down at me with those unblinking, cosmic-tinted eyes. I felt my consciousness fading, and my vision grew blurry. Behind the beast I saw a long slender tail flicking about in the crimson moonlight as the darkness swallowed me whole.

“Buddy? Hey buddy… are you alright? Can you hear me?” A voice pierced through the void. It was an unfamiliar voice of a man. An immense aching then swarmed through my head, and a nauseous sensation struck my gut. I pried my eyes open, finding them immediately accosted by harsh sunlight and a bitter cold.

“You alright dude?” The man asked again. I turned on my side and my vision slowly coalesced. There I saw the face of a concerned man and woman staring down at me.

“I think we should call the ambulance.” The woman added. The man helped me to a seated position as the nausea rose more pronounced within me.

“I’m okay… thank you.” I finally muttered out, but I doubt they believed me. As if the universe itself intended to prove me wrong, I then immediately turned to my side and vomited into the dirt. Dark black bile then erupted from my gut, appearing more like crude oil than anything organic. The man and woman looked both horrified and disgusted.

“Where am I?” I asked, glancing around at the area around us. Surprisingly I spotted my car just a few feet away from us. It was then I realized I was back at the trailhead where I had started my hike the previous day. It was day time again, just past 7AM as told to me by the man and woman.

My hands were shaking like crazy, and my legs wobbly beneath me. The two people draped a coat over my shoulders and helped me to my feet. They got me into my car as the guy fired up the engine. Once it warmed up they blasted the heaters which slowly brought me back to normal. I realize now I was on the brink of hypothermia, and if it had been a cold night, I probably wouldn’t be here typing this. Luckily that night was rather mild, and they found me before any permanent damage was done.

After about half an hour I was feeling much better. The guy and girl asked me what had happened but I didn’t say much. I couldn’t even think of a good cover story, and I knew damn well I couldn’t tell them the truth. I did make sure to tell them that they probably shouldn’t hike that trail that I had been on though.

I thanked them for helping me, and got into my car to drive home soon after. Every part of my body was hurting and the only thing on my mind was a nice warm shower. My left arm stung particularly bad, and I just hoped the open wound hadn’t become infected.

Thankfully I’ve managed to fully recover now, barring any psychological scars that is. The cut on my arm has since healed without much incident, but the entire event has me really paranoid now. I’ve had a lot of nightmares ever since, and I can’t help but feel like they’re trying to tell me something.

Lilith; the name the deer-masked guy had spoken has extensive presence in a variety of ancient cultures and religion. She’s mentioned in both the Bible and Torah, but only brief passages which refer to her as a demon and succubus. Other sources such as Midrashic texts and the Dead Sea Scrolls claim that she was in fact the first wife of Adam who was eventually banished from the Garden of Eden.

I’m no expert in this stuff, and some of the information about her seems contradictory so it’s hard to say what’s accurate. That isn’t even accounting the fact that most the sources which mention her are a couple thousand years old. The couple commonalities that keep arising refer to her with scorn and revulsion. She is generally regarded as a lustful being and purveyor of spite, manipulation and possibly the most important for my purposes… fertility.

The blood moon that night also wasn’t just the result of my imagination, and actually correlated to a lunar eclipse. Some of you may remember hearing about it earlier this month, and as it turns out, it was the same night that all of this happened. Quite a few cultures and ancient traditions believe that special lunar events enhance procreation in one way or another, and I can’t help but think that blood moon was a special occasion that was chosen intentionally.

I keep thinking I need to go to the police with this, but I just don’t know how to. It’s been almost a month already so the people that did it are probably long gone. Plus no one in their right mind would believe my account anyways and I’m well aware of that. Unfortunately, I can’t do much to assuage the doubts either. I don’t expect anyone to believe it, but I just figured I’d post it here in case anyone has any ideas or advice. Also, in case I randomly go missing anytime soon I guess you’ll know why.

I wish I could detail these nightmares better, but the truth is I can’t remember a lot of the details of them. I always just awake in a panic after seeing horrific things. People I love being burned alive or torn apart, and enormous quantities of people suffering horrifically. I’ve seen her too, and I know she’s seen me.

Whatever it was that violated me that night, I have a feeling that in a few months there will be more of them. I’m sorry I have to end it off this way, but if you’ve skipped the entire story for this ending then I want you to know this.

Something is coming, and this time it’s not just me.

Forgive me.