I miss Puppy.jpg. It misses me too, I think. Does anyone know how to get it back?

It all started a few months ago.

I sat down at my desk and opened my laptop, navigating to my personal favorite website- Puppy.jpg. The familiar dark screen greeted me, asking for a passcode. I typed in my username, passcode, and logged in. 

The page opened up to what looked like Etsy with the laptop on dark mode, but it was far from that. Honestly, I’ll admit the layout could be better. Puppy.jpg was a perfectly imperfect website where criminals like me could purchase whatever they so wish without fear of judgement or persecution. You could also chat with others and make plans for future events.  It was a utopia. A few cops here and there, sure, but overall pretty damn awesome. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve garnered a bit of an obsession with it.

This particular evening, I was in the market for a crime scene cleanup kit- pretty easy to find. I was just about to hit the order button when I got a message in my inbox.

“Luke, how are you?”

I was a little frightened as I don’t use my actual name in the forums, which meant I knew this person in real life. I messaged back

“who is this? I’m not Luke”

“Puppy”

The screen shut off and turned red, then black. Puppy.jpg was gone. 

I felt sick. What happened? I tried turning my laptop on and off, but while the rest of the internet was up and running, Puppy.jpg was missing. As if it had never existed. I closed my laptop and called my friend, a fellow Puppy.jpg user. He explained that it looked like the servers crashed and the website would be down for a bit.

I was absolutely terrified that the website would be gone for good. I relied heavily on that site, as it gave me all I’ve ever needed for any of my various... activities.

I tried to calm my nerves. Why was I so upset? Admittedly I do use the website a lot- I even made a few friends. I didn’t mind that I was messaged by a troll, it happens all the time. I would have taken a million more messages if it meant I was able to use Puppy.jpg again.

The website did not return, and I went to bed. The next day I woke to a knock at my front door. It was a little odd as everyone uses doorbells nowadays and I certainly have one, but I slipped on a shirt and answered it anyway. There was no one there but an unlabeled box. 

Now, when you’re in the industry I’m in, you know better than to open a strange delivery. I, however, opened the box anyway because I am somewhat of an idiot.

I grabbed a boxcutter and opened it- no explosions, no poisonous gas, no snakes. Just a large wooden chest and a note. I treated this as I do my birthday gifts, ignoring the note for the present next to it. 

The chest was ornate and beautiful, wood carvings on all sides and a gold latch. It looked handmade, and when I opened it my eyes widened. It was my crime scene cleanup kit. Why anyone would throw in a free chest is beyond me but I appreciated it. I couldn’t think of how they got my order, and I spent a few seconds pondering it. 

Eventually I did pick up the note.

“Hello Luke, thank you for using Puppy.jpg! I noticed you didn’t have time to place your order before I died, so I delivered it myself. I hope you enjoy the chest, it was in your cart and I thought you might enjoy the surprise. Let it soothe your grief.  -Puppy”

To say I was confused is an understatement. Who is Puppy? Why are they impersonating a website? Is that illegal? Does it matter? Is Puppy.jpg really dead? I pondered these once the initial shock was over and pondered some more as I unboxed my crime scene cleanup kit. There was nothing unusual about it and that surprised me. Wouldn’t a troll screw with the product?

My heart skipped a beat as I pondered the possibilities. Was someone finally out to get me? After years of criminal activity, I was terrified I’d finally be getting my karma.

My fitbit became concerned with my elevated heart rate as every day for the last of the week, items from my cart arrived with notes from puppy.jpg.

Thursday- An ornate knife with the note “Sorry I’m not back yet, here’s that knife you’ve been wanting for Zach! -Puppy” Zach is my boyfriend. How Puppy knew this, I had no idea. I came to the conclusion that this must be one of my friends playing a joke on me. But how did they know what my cart held before the site crashed?

Friday- A used pistol with the note “Sorry to ask this of you, but could you kill yourself? I’m lonely-Puppy" So- none of my friends. They know I have a suicidal past and would never ask this of me, even as a joke.

Saturday- Cyanide pills with the note “please?? You have your pick, please do it now -Puppy” That’s self-explained. At this point, I began locking my doors and getting up obsessively every hour or so through the night. No matter my past, I have no intention of leaving this earth soon, and certainly not by the hand of a goddamn website. Though I felt a shit ton of terror by the time I received this final note, I also felt sympathy. Where is Puppy? Is it sad?

I have no idea what’s going on. Please, if someone knows how to get Puppy.jpg back, contact me. I know it’s just a website, but I want to follow its orders. I’m sure its lonely, I need to either bring it back or join it, and I am terrified I will end up resorting to the second option. Any advice is welcome. Please hurry.