Suspicion doesn’t mean anything when your partner could possibly be in danger. If it was someone that wasn’t your wife doing this, your wife would be able to keep her eyes open and take precautions. Not telling her about the threats was a horrible move because you could have put her in danger.

Though, maybe your wife will read this somehow and see the part about how throwing away the notes and going to HR was you being loyal and trying to resolve the situation without worrying her and that the real screw up is you not telling her about the threats made against you. I say you passed most of the loyalty test, but you failed the part where you take your wife’s safety into consideration after the threats were made but you do have a rebuttal of not wanting to worry her, you chose her mental health over her safety. No need to stress her about a stalker from work. I can see your logic but you forgot that a stalker might go after your partner. Have you heard of the phrase ‘murder the hypothenuse?’