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oneeyecheeselord t1_ivqvirr wrote

So, your biological mother murdered a baby and replaced said baby with you. She ruined the lives of the people who raised you. She also stalked you for your entire life and drove the woman who raised you to suicide.

You have nothing to feel bad about regarding her murder. You also have nothing to feel guilty for regarding the people who raised you, you weren’t the one to murder their child and replace it with your own. You didn’t tear their marriage apart and drive your mother to suicide. That was all your shitty biological mother. She couldn’t leave well enough alone and kept stalking you and left the woman who raised you and YOU with trauma and mental health issues.

You are a victim here. You didn’t force your biological mother to do what she did.

She could have arranged for you to be adopted through an adoption agency if she wanted you to have a better life legally, but she didn’t.

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CornerCornea OP t1_ivqwbx4 wrote

I still wish I didn't kill her though, I need more answers and the dead have only shut lips.

I wonder why she never came out to me though, after my mom died. Maybe she didn't know if I would accept what she did, or killed the other baby. She was probably right. I hate her for ruining my life.

Thank you for the comforting words, and even though I did nothing wrong. I still as if I can't face my dad. I don't know what he'd do. All that blame he placed on my mom. What it did to them, to him. What my shadow mother did.

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oneeyecheeselord t1_ivqxzx5 wrote

Honestly, I wouldn’t call that woman your mother. She didn’t raise you at all. She killed a baby and put you in their place, and let others do all the work in raising you. At best, she’s just your stalker that you happen to share DNA with.

I’m not sure how I would react if I was your dad. He’s not in a good mental state from what I’ve gleaned. I recommend therapy and counselling for you both. The best scenario is that he continues to love and care for you as he always has, he did stay with you and raise you despite his family saying to leave. But, I understand why you don’t want to face him. Best not to push the envelope.

As for answers, did she have any electronics? Maybe she kept notes on there, or she kept a diary. You can also check to see if she had any relatives or friends that might have some insight.

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CornerCornea OP t1_ivqybij wrote

Yeah she kept a diary. But it's mostly just about me. Well, I haven't really looked through it. It's tied up in some forensics department right now. A lot of red tape until I'll be able to get my hands on it.

Other than that, no electronics I believe.

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oneeyecheeselord t1_ivqyqat wrote

Don’t give up hope and dismiss the diary just yet. There might be answers yet.

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CornerCornea OP t1_ivr6rvf wrote

I agree, and thank you for the advice and words.

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Sylvurphlame t1_ivqyw2a wrote

> I still wish I didn’t kill her though, I need more answers

An insane person could never give you any semblance of reason. If you stare into the abyss you’ll find only darkness.

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MsPaganPoetry t1_iw3egbj wrote

> So, your biological mother murdered a baby and replaced said baby with you. She ruined the lives of the people who raised you. She also stalked you for your entire life and drove the woman who raised you to suicide.

What would motivate someone do this?

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